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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24031012">Mother of Demons</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MahnaMahna/pseuds/MahnaMahna'>MahnaMahna</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Lilith [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Legend (1985)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Art, Blood Drinking, Blood Magic, Demon Sex, Demon/Human Relationships, F/M, Human Sacrifice, Human/Monster Romance, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, NSFW Art</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:56:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>102,963</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24031012</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MahnaMahna/pseuds/MahnaMahna</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>No life without death. <br/>No peace without struggle. </p><p>The Queen of Darkness yearns for something more.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Darkness/Lily (Legend)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Lilith [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1546699</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>369</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>110</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. When Need Met Mercy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lily twitched, falling back into a hazy blanket of sleep. Her dreams were pleasant, just warmth and cherished colors and peace. She sighed, not quite a yawn, forgetting whatever had pulled her from them in the first place.</p><p>Some jolt curled her toe, the briefest scrape on her pinky, a familiar sensation that almost made her blink, and yet when it did not come again, sleep did. She drifted a while, comfortable and content. </p><p>Suddenly her left leg was lifted, snatched by the ankle as she slid across the sheets. Lily shrieked a little, her free limbs flailing for a moment as she was dragged to the edge of the bed.</p><p>“<em>There</em> we are,” he said, still holding her ankle up. Lily lay on her side, one arm stretched above her as she steadied herself with the other. Her hips were <em>just</em> raised from the plush mattress, her other leg dangling over the edge, trapped between his. “You have been asleep for a very long time, and I am <em>bored</em>,” he told her plainly, raising his right hand to her center, open and displayed to him. He curled his first two fingers and massaged her entrance with their knuckles.</p><p>“<em>Ungh</em>,” Lily grunted, startled at the abrupt movement from dreams to <em>this</em> as he pushed those knuckles roughly inside of her, agitating them sharply for a few seconds as she cried out and writhed, half trying to push him further into her, half trying to escape him. The first bony crest of each finger was angled towards her front and they pressed firmly into that tender spot just inside that made her gush for him and see stars. He pulled them away as roughly as he had given them to her, now just massaging her again in circles, sliding her firming nub occasionally between his wet digits. </p><p>“I'm sorry, my love, but you left me no choice,” he told her sympathetically, not allowing her leg to move an inch in his grasp, rubbing her slowly as she tried to catch her breath. “I tried <em>so</em> hard to wake you. I called out to you, like so-“ and his hand pulled away from her even as she whimpered in protest, one finger held aloft as his voice lowered to a deep murmur, the most soothing of whispers, saying, “<em>Lily, dear Lily</em>,” before his knuckles again teased at her opening softly, to her relief and her torment. “Then I took the covers,” he nodded towards the thin silk sheet, an item designed for luxury of sensation more than warmth as Lily scoffed, which he ignored. “Finally, I tickled your toes with my wicked claws, but alas,” he took his hand from her center again, tapping those claws against the toes he held near his shoulder ever so softly before returning, “you would not stir. You force my hand, drive me to drastic action.”</p><p>“Well I'm certainly awake <em>now</em>,” she laughed breathlessly, yelping and jumping when he pushed inside of her roughly once again, her more mobile leg curling and uncurling around his thigh.</p><p>“<em>Good</em>,” he said softly, chasing her as she squirmed, allowing her just enough slack to do so. His hand jarred her in harsh, hard little thrusts that slapped her skin against his fist as she gasped and made high pitched, squeaky noises, shocked. He kept this up until it became overwhelming, until she almost couldn’t stand the sharpness of the pressure inside of her and she started getting dizzy before his fingers were suddenly gone.</p><p>Lily panted as she felt his hand back on her, now running soothingly over her curves as he held her leg, raising and lowering it as pleased him to reach her body. She closed her eyes and let him move her, bend her, caress and squeeze at her flesh as he liked, let herself enjoy his touch lazily. She knew that it thrilled him to feel her submit to him in such a way, to know that she was his for the taking by her own allowance and it thrilled her to lose herself in him completely, to give him all and know that he would treat her with reverence. </p><p>She felt the dip of the bed just behind her hips and knew that he knelt, felt the smooth skin of his thigh and the silky brush of fur from his calf as he settled, bending her leg over his arm and gripping it with both hands. He was rubbing at her center again but no longer with his fingers, sliding along her flesh and pressing <em>just</em> inside of her and no more. Lily attempted to push her hips up towards him but he growled at her lowly and shifted, laying the shin of his raised leg across her restless thigh so that she was trapped, unable to do more than rock helplessly while her fingers fisted in the silken bedclothes.</p><p>He found her entrance once more, settling just the barest tip of himself inside of her again, watching as she stretched, strained towards him while he remained still. Her muscles clenched, twitching, trying to pull him in, swallow him as though her very womb thirsted for his essence, hungered for his flesh, sat salivating ever more desperately as he held himself just out of her reach.</p><p>“You wake me just to torment me,” Lily accused, her voice a stuttering whine.</p><p>“Yes,” he responded unapologetically. “Did you dream of me?”</p><p>“Probably,” she gasped, “I can't remember now.”</p><p>“And is there <em>any</em> dream sweeter than this torment?” he asked her quietly as he gave her just a <em>bit</em> more, so very slowly, withdrawing and pressing only the first few inches of himself inside of her again. Lily shook her head, unable to speak, struggling for air. “Nay,” he said, agreeing with her, “<em>Nothing</em> sweeter.”</p><p>His shin left her thigh as he leaned more solidly on the bed, one hoof still firmly planted on the ground. Slowly he pressed forward, sinking himself deep until their bodies could align no closer and she moaned, nearly coming undone right then, so effectively had he stoked her need. Twice he withdrew and entered her again slowly while she shook and squirmed and he pinned her, she grasping at his strong thighs and arms as he kept her still and steady. Without warning he snapped his hips brutally, one hand moving to lay the heel of his palm against her pleasure's core, pressing hard and within three violent strokes she was screaming, holding tightly to any bit of him she could reach as she convulsed.</p><p>He held her there a while, unrelenting in his force, content to watch her writhe and gasp as her flesh rippled with each surge of his hips. Lily yelped in surprise when he finally moved her, standing upright and taking her with him. He gripped her leg again, twisting her around until she faced the bed, Holding her hips up to the height he desired and leaving her upper body to fend for itself as it would. She lifted up on her forearms, steadying herself as he continued to thrust harshly, now moving her body as well, sliding her forward and back while her legs swung and dangled.</p><p>Lily felt his hips stutter before he groaned, holding her firmly to his pelvis as the hot rush of his completion filled her. He laid her hips back on the bed, following, keeping them tightly joined, his arms settling around hers as he hunched over her back. The sensation of his pulsating flesh and the sudden friction of the sheet under her swollen bud pushed her into contractions again, her tremulous moan stifled when she turned her face into the mattress.</p><p>Boneless, Lily laid still while he propped himself up and then jumped with another squeak when he gave her one last firm thrust before pulling out of her. She chuckled breathlessly, relaxing again as he stood. He stayed behind her, leaned forward and rested his manhood against the cleft of her bottom, gently palming the small but well-rounded cheeks, shaking them a bit as she giggled and parting them just to watch as they slapped back against his own skin. </p><p>She laughed lightly into the sheets as he entertained himself with her body, feeling him withdraw and then a warm, wet <em>smack</em> as he let himself fall against her again. And again. And once more.</p><p>“Are you finished with that?” she asked, trying to contain her mirth.</p><p>“<em>Never</em>,” he said quite seriously, giving her backside another <em>smack</em>. Though his voice was grave, when she looked back at him his face was positively gleeful. Lily just continued to laugh, letting him enjoy her as he would. He was in a playful mood today, it seemed. </p><p>After a few more minutes of this he stepped back a bit, sitting on the bed himself and scooping her up to settle her in his lap, arranging her limbs around him while he raised his knees, cradling her. Lily leaned on him comfortably, savoring the heat and solidity of his body as his claws tickled lightly up and down her spine.</p><p>In this peaceful moment, Lily thought that perhaps it was time for her to broach a subject that had been lately on her mind, becoming more and more distracting a thought each day. She had been restless these past few years and had finally pinpointed why.</p><p>“I have a question,” she announced, sitting up enough to look him in the eye. “I probably should have asked some time ago, but I suppose I just assumed that you would have told me. I <em>hope</em> you would have told me, but I should ask,” she rambled a bit, suddenly nervous.</p><p>“Ask,” he said simply, unconcerned. </p><p>“Have you…” she began hesitantly, “have you ever fathered a child?”</p><p>He looked at her a long moment, studying her closely. “Not as such,” he said finally, leaning towards her.</p><p>“Not <em>as such</em>?” She asked, “What does <em>that</em> mean?”</p><p>“In the old days, when mankind had more reverence for the dark and they paid me at least as much tribute as they did the sun,” he began as Lily suppressed the urge to smile, staying silent, “they held festivals in my honor. They still do, though they are nights of revelry no longer, but rituals held in secret and isolation. I would partake in these festivities and their rituals on occasion.”</p><p>“Oh dear,” Lily said, wondering how much she was going to like his explanation.</p><p>“Do you want to hear this?” he asked, “You do not have to. Your short answer is no.”</p><p>“Yes,” she said with a sigh, rubbing her eyes, “If I don’t I'll die of curiosity before bed.”</p><p>“I thought as much,” he said before continuing. “One such festival was a night for rebirth. Death and fertility. Much sex magic was performed and there were moments when I was <em>very</em> generous with my participation. Women would sit in preparatory meditation for days to await the festival, to take part in the rite with me was considered a great honor.”</p><p>“I’m sure,” Lily said dryly, though she knew very well that this would have been the case. </p><p>“Truly,” he said, smug. “To receive me is a <em>blessing</em>. Do you disagree?”</p><p>Lily rolled her eyes at him. He chuckled and went on.</p><p>“Before the night was through, if the woman also copulated with another she was guaranteed conception. The child would be strong and the mother would receive some requested magical boon during her pregnancy. There is a… <em>transference</em> of power during the ritual, but there would be no child if I was the woman’s only partner before rite's end. Every child conceived by the ritual would be named mine, but they are not in flesh. Many lines still exist, I know, that claim me as their sire.”</p><p>“Well, I’m glad overall.” She huffed quietly, enduring a brief, silent struggle with herself before losing out to curiosity. “How many women would you… <em>copulate</em> with in a night?”</p><p>“I really could not say. Many. Are you jealous?” he asked her, leaning in with an eager glint to his eyes. </p><p>“I am <em>prepared</em> for your stories, I have heard many of them before. I am satisfied to know that you have no children with other women.”</p><p>“That is not a denial,” he said with a slow grin, lowering his face to hers. “Tell me that it's true.”</p><p>“What if it isn't?” She frowned against his lips.</p><p>“It is, I can feel it. It would please me so to hear. Tell me.”</p><p>Lily sighed, sinking back against him. “Fine. I'm jealous. A <em>little</em>.”</p><p>“Only a little?” he chuckled, wrapping his arms around her. Lily just grunted, making him laugh again. “It was long ago. I would have told you,” he said, laying his lips to the top of her head. She looked up to kiss him.</p><p>"<em>Thank</em> you,” she said softly, sitting up. She rested her hands against his chest, chewing her lip. “Also,” Lily began, but she opened her mouth a few times without speaking as he watched.</p><p>“Yes?” he encouraged.</p><p>She was quiet another moment, gathering her thoughts. “We have been together several years now. Decades. I only wonder…” she said slowly, “why we have never conceived a child. I tried not to consider it much and thought perhaps it would happen in its own time, but… such time has passed. Is this a possible thing for us?”</p><p>“You wish for children? Of my flesh?” He asked, running a claw tip along her jaw and down her neck.</p><p>“Yes. I’d have a hundred of your children, a thousand. Who knows what we might accomplish before the end of forever?” She told him, her eyes soft.</p><p>“You say this, but you do not know what you ask for.” He cupped her jaw, staring hard at her. “It is possible, I'm sure, but there is always a price for such things. Is it very important to you?”</p><p>Lily nodded slowly, holding tightly to his wrist. “I have always wanted to be a mother. I am ready. I’ve <em>been</em> ready.” She turned her face into his hand, running her lips across his palm for a moment before speaking again. “It is. Whatever the price, I will pay it.” </p><p>He released a slow breath, his expression unreadable. “It would require ritual, and sacrifice. Only death can beget life.”</p><p>She sighed and then was silent a moment, considering. “And sacrifice is required because neither of us are mortal?” She asked him, her tone even. </p><p>“Just so. When mortals have children, they give of their own soul's energy. Every moment they live they are also dying, and so the life that they lose is easily harnessed into creation. All energy must come from somewhere. It is never truly created or destroyed, only passed along from one body to the next.”</p><p>“I can't say I’m terribly surprised. I did begin to suspect something like this,” she told him. “I don't suppose a rabbit would do, would it?”</p><p>“Nay,” he said softly, watching her intently. </p><p>Lily nodded against his palm, still holding her cheek, taking a deep breath as she looked at her hand on his chest, watching her fingers splay against his ruby skin. “It is the only way?” she asked at length.</p><p>“The only way that I know of, at least for creatures of our world. I cannot speak to the procreative rituals of immortals of other ilk.”</p><p>“And if… if I were willing to do this thing, complete this ritual… would you give this to me?” She asked breathlessly, her eyes hopeful. </p><p>His hand moved from her face to her hair, pulling her up while he leaned into her, eyes hungry. “I would deny you <em>nothing</em>,” he promised, lips seeking hers. He kissed her deeply, gathering her close in his arms. Lily moaned, her breathing shallow when he finally moved away. “When my father placed his need before my mother in worship and she answered in mercy, granted my conception, this was the first love,” he told her. “I would offer myself in worship now.”</p><p>“He loved her but did not keep her?” Lily asked, her eyes fluttering as he brushed his fingertips over her throat.</p><p>“He did love her, but one does not <em>keep</em> the Divine Feminine. One venerates her from afar and offers prayer and sacrifice.”</p><p>“I see,” she said, distracted by the gentle scrape against her neck. </p><p>“And you will do it? You want my child badly enough to kill for it? Is your love for me so great?”</p><p>“<em>Yes</em>,” Lily whispered fiercely, meeting his eye, watching as his face lit up in such wonder and his gaze burned into her. He grabbed her tightly again, grinding her in his lap against the sudden hardness there. She gasped, rubbing herself against him in turn. His breath hitched and she was reminded suddenly of a long ago moment, the look on his face when she had uttered her heroic lie- <em>I want to kill the</em> <em>unicorn</em>. She was not lying to him now.</p><p>“Then we will do it. I will give you as many children as you like, a hundred or a thousand, offer myself in devotion and watch you kill for love of me a thousand times. It will be the sweetest pleasure I have <em>ever</em> known,” he ground out, his limbs tensing and shifting, practically vibrating in his excitement. </p><p>Lily shifted, not breaking his gaze, rising to slip him inside of her as he pushed up to meet her hips. She whimpered softly as they came together, steadying herself with her hands back on his chest as she rode him slowly, though it seemed he was too aroused to accept her pace. He held her waist as his hips snapped up into her firmly, drawing sharper cries from her as she was lifted.</p><p>“My queen, my lady, my Lily. Mother of my children,” he said as he leaned in, placing his lips against her neck. “You are the answer to my <em>every</em> desire.” His kiss scorched her, sending a shudder down her spine and drawing another moan from her.</p><p>“As you are mine,” she said back, hands holding tight to his shoulders. Lily allowed him to carry her away again, floating in his heat and her own pleasant dreams of their long future.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks so much for reading this far! Before we get any further in this story, I feel like I should be up front about something:</p><p>If it sounds like things might get a little on the graphic side- like maybe Lily is going to end up killing someone while they do the dirty, and like I dunno maybe the guy that basically creamed his pants in the movie when she told him she wanted to kill something is going to rather enjoy it and like really want to play with the blood or whatever... you're probably right so let's just be prepared for that, shall we? Mkay.</p><p>*Actually, general warning for lots of future blood and sex and all the things you probably were looking for in the first place. Enjoy, ya little sicko. ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Considerations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter kind of got away from me... in a lot of ways.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The library was extensive, books and scrolls in a myriad of languages piled high on tall shelves that stretched to the distant ceiling. Of course, there were no ladders. She found what she needed easily enough anyhow, choosing volumes with simple divination and plucking them from shelves to float down to her with easy gestures. </p><p>Many grimoires had what she sought. Lily had a wealth of spells to choose from, though they were all variations on the same procedure. Rather straightforward, when you got down to the bare bones of it. The trickiest bits were in the preparation, but even that was simple enough so long as you knew something of a woman's body. She looked to the bird sitting quietly on her shoulder.</p><p>“I don't believe I’ll need these,” Lily told the magpie, who snapped her beak in response. She had sussed out the common components, understood their purpose and their timing. “I think I'll plan my own ritual. It's more special that way, don't you think?” The magpie uttered a <em>gawp</em> and Lily nodded, satisfied. She started closing books, tossing them up into the air to land gently back on the shelves.</p><p>“Besides,” she said absently, skimming through the pages of an old, thick volume which she had set on a side table, “my lord appreciates my creativity. I think it would please him.” Her friend made another small noise and Lily smiled, bending to copy something into her own notebook. “I'll need you to gather some herbs for me. I should have plenty of mugwort, but I wonder if it would be better fresh… raspberry leaf…” she trailed off as she wrote, mumbling to herself.</p><p>Lily finished her notes, setting the book down and leaning on the table. “You know, I‘m surprised not to be more anxious about this. I would’ve thought the idea of human sacrifice would make me feel squeamish, but…” she shrugged, thinking. “I have been with him a good while now. I think he's rubbing off on me,” she told the magpie conspiratorially. The answering chitter sounded like laughter to Lily, which made her chuckle softly herself. </p><p>“I just need to choose the <em>right</em> human.” She sighed. “I don't know how. I don’t even know where to begin. I don’t suppose you have any advice for me, do you?” The bird responded with a short caw and tilted head. “That's alright. Nothing for it. Let's go pester the Lord of Darkness at his duties, shall we?” </p><p>The magpie cawed again and took off from her shoulder, flying up to the rafters and settling somewhere out of her sight. Lily laughed harder at this and called up, “<em>Alright</em>, you don't need to come. I know you had a fright last time we went down.” She left her things and made her way towards the door. “You’re more squeamish than I am now,” Lily mumbled as she walked, hearing an indignant squawk from above. Louder she said, “Don't be offended, little one, it <em>is</em> true. I’ll see you soon,” and left quietly on bare feet.</p><p>Lily closed the door behind her, stopping to summon a pair of delicate, bejeweled slippers from her closet. She toed them on and continued down the corridor, through arches and portals that led to longer corridors, past the throne room and down a long, winding staircase which started as stone masonry but near the bottom was cut roughly from the very earth. </p><p>The deeper she got the more clearly the sounds came through, occasional bellows, screams of agony and other manner of sensation, the ever-present drone of vague moans and whimpers which might be of pleasure or pain. She heard the crack of a whip in the distance, remembering when it would have made her jump.</p><p>This was where the darkest of creatures played, where the wicked were tormented, fed on, harvested of their suffering and their cruelty. Much of the power that sustained their borders in the middle planes was syphoned from this pit, vast and labyrinthine and populated with all breeds of imp and goblin and dark fay creature that thirsted for blood, or perhaps desired the whip themselves. </p><p>She emerged from the hall to what at first appeared as a gargantuan cavern, but which revealed itself as much more on another glance. Below her was a field filled with bodies writhing in strange, excruciating, sensual ways, surrounded by entrances to other tunnels and chambers, other terrible goings on, but above her the blackness drifted out into the universe itself. The sky was much darker here than any night above, and no dawn ever chased it away. Fires raged from cracks in the stone and dark blood stained the ground and splattered the rock face, some dry, some dripping.</p><p>Lily walked slowly along, watching her footing. She found a sentry, approaching the monstrous creature with the authoritative, expectant air bred into royals of every stripe. He wore a leather helmet and precious little else, holding a tall staff tipped with a spike atop a snarling basilisk. Scaled and horned, though less impressively than his master, his bestial visage did not intimidate her in the least.</p><p>“Ascaroth,” she called, watching his head snap towards her and the luminous amber of his eyes widen. Immediately he dropped to one knee, the long tail behind him tucking respectfully as he broke eye contact and looked to the floor. “Take me to my king,” she commanded him.</p><p>He was silent as he rose, dipping his head once and leading her away without looking at her again. Lily smirked. She tried not to be <em>quite</em> so amused by the fear her presence instilled, but she didn’t try very hard. It wasn't <em>her</em> that engendered this fear, exactly, so much as the consequences of any perceived disrespect, or causing her upset, or looking at her in such a way that the master disapproved of, whether it be with derision or lust. The dark brethren had learned well what befell any creature who did not treat her with proper deference, some of them in rather dramatic fashion.</p><p>The imp led her down a side tunnel, hissing at any who crossed their path in warning and announcement. All who saw them gave a wide berth or scattered entirely, those that did not flee knelt and averted their eyes until she passed. They crossed chambers full of oddities and more bodies, some trapped in cages or caught in other strange and nefarious contraptions, strung up and left or tended to mercilessly. Lily passed it all placidly, not particularly concerned. Those that ended up in the pit did not tend to be a type that garnered her sympathy.</p><p>Ascaroth flattened himself against the stonework when they came upon a particular archway, his limbs pressed to the wall and face turned away as he allowed her to pass ahead of him through it. She quite liked him, actually. He'd spoken barely a handful of words to her over the years but the way he avoided her physically, sliding his towering but oddly malleable frame into crevices and around corners with almost liquid ease to keep distance while maintaining such devoted attentiveness was <em>very</em> entertaining. </p><p>He stilled completely as she passed as though he were holding his breath, then slunk off quickly and silently when the deep, booming laughter of her lord rang out from the cavern. Lily turned towards it, spotting him emerging from a tunnel some distance away, dragging a mass that she could not quite identify behind him. He stopped, standing tall over the boiling red lake that dominated the chamber, holding something long and bent. Yet more of the damned crowded the bloody reservoir, masses of limbs tousling as they struggled to lift themselves onto the backs of their fellows to escape the scalding liquid. Tittering, snarling imps surrounded them with spiked staffs much like the one Ascaroth carried, jabbing at those who sought to climb from the pool.</p><p>“Beloved?” she called, and his head snapped up at the sound of her voice cutting through the ambient wailing. As he turned his body towards her she saw what he had dragged in. At the king's feet lay a motionless human, naked skin covered with blood and dirt. Lily watched as he lifted one hoof and placed it to the man's side, rolling him towards the lake with a kick. As he went, she saw that one of his arms was gone.</p><p>Well, not <em>gone</em>. Her husband was still holding it.</p><p>The man, who had seemed quite unconscious, screamed as soon as he dropped into the roiling blood. He flailed and struggled with his single arm and caught a slightly protruding bit of rock, pulling himself desperately up towards the ledge. He was knocked back down, however, when his own hand slapped him hard across the face to the echoing howl of more laughter. Her lord certainly had a morbid sense of humor.</p><p>Lily watched as he made his way to her, the grin on his face exuberant. As he neared she realized that he was dripping, splattered and coated head to hoof with a viscous fluid that she had not noticed at first as it was colored the same deep crimson as his skin.</p><p>He bent to kiss her but she pulled back, holding up a finger to bar his attempt. “You have blood in your teeth,” she told him, her nose scrunching.</p><p>He stood again and ran his tongue over his lips, sucking at his teeth and shaking his free hand before wiping his mouth with it. He bent again and this time she accepted his kiss, though the metallic tinge lingered. It was not an uncommon flavor to find on his tongue and though she did not particularly want a mouth full of it, Lily found the salty tang mingling with his own taste not entirely unpleasant. </p><p>“Enjoying yourself?” she asked when he rose.</p><p>“<em>Immensely</em>,“ he responded, his eyes bright and excited. </p><p>“Why are you still holding that?” she questioned, looking briefly downward. As much as she could walk through this place, raising her skirt to avoid puddles of blood and passing by one grotesque tableaux after another without flinching, him just <em>holding</em> the severed limb while they kissed and held a casual conversation made her vaguely uneasy. </p><p>He looked down at it, pausing, his eyes shifting away as he thought about his answer for a bit longer than Lily thought should have been necessary. “I forgot I had it,” he told her finally, nonchalantly, turning towards the chamber and winding back to throw the arm with great force. She watched in spite of her best judgement as it spun through the air at an incredible speed, colliding with the head of one of the struggling bodies and knocking it down to the pool with a piercing scream. He laughed again at this, his deepest, most earth-shaking laughter that only emerged when he was truly in the best of spirits. She thought he must’ve hit the same man. </p><p>When his mirth had subsided to a light chuckle and his attention had returned to her, she couldn’t help smiling back at him. Regardless of the circumstances, she was always glad to bear witness to his delight. “Were you about to do something I would’ve found terribly unpleasant?” Lily raised a brow.</p><p>“Probably,” he admitted immediately.</p><p>“Then thank you for not doing it,” she told him, turning her face up expectantly. He bent once more, gripping her arms firmly as he met her lips. Lily liked to acknowledge when he restrained himself for her comfort, felt it prudent to let him know that she appreciated his efforts. </p><p>His kiss turned heated in moments, disorienting her as he pulled her tight to his chest and stood straight, lifting her. Lily wrapped her legs around his middle, the movement of it familiar and reflexive. When her back met warm, uneven stone she realized he held her against the archway, the blood still in his kiss reminding her again of where they were. She tried for a moment to ignore it, to see if she could lose herself again and allow him this, but suddenly she was too distracted by the sounds, too aware of the blood that now coated her skin also, too aware that they were <em>not</em> alone.</p><p>Lily turned her face away but he just moved to her jaw, his eyes hazy and his breath labored as he ground himself against her, the hardness of his body suddenly rivaling the stone behind her. Lily moaned but raised a hand to slide between his face and her neck, cupping his lips. It took him a moment to still but he did, raising himself after another few seconds to look at her intensely, his breathing still harsh.</p><p>“I'm sorry, love, but we've discussed this before,” she said, a bit out of breath herself.</p><p>He grunted in disappointment but let her down, taking a breath while holding her arms again, nodding. “What brings you down, then? Give me something to think on other than how tight your cunt is to distract me.”</p><p>Lily <em>tsked</em> at him, laughing a bit. “I wanted to ask for your insight but I didn't know when you'd be finished here and I'm eager to begin, I didn’t want any delays. I need to choose a sacrifice,” she started, but he groaned again and tightened his hands about her arms before she went on.</p><p>“That does <em>not</em> improve my condition. Perhaps we should adjourn for now. Speak to me while we bathe so that I can have you right after,” he declared, already picking her back up to carry her away. Lily wrapped her legs around him again, allowing him this particular public display as he held her tightly, his hands shifting just a little over her body while he navigated the pit. </p><p>Creatures scattered as they did before, clearing tunnels and falling to the rough floor in submissive poses, though Lily faced behind him and saw only the wake of their passage. She noticed Ascaroth back at his post, saw him still and kneeling until they turned around the corner which led to the same stairs she had descended earlier. He took them quickly, his long legs stretching two or three steps at a time as he climbed, the <em>c</em><em>lomp</em> of his hooves heavy and brisk.</p><p>They reached their private wing in substantially less time than it had taken Lily to find him as she held tight to his shoulders, giggling at his urgency. He was always so invigorated, so full of energy after he came back up that it look very little to work him into a frenzy- a suggestive look, a soft kiss, some subtle whiff of her scent. Her stipulation that he not come to her coated in blood was a source of amusing frustration. She enjoyed watching him grow impatient as he bathed, enjoyed the eager, relieved way he grabbed her up once she pronounced him clean enough. </p><p>Upon reaching the bathing chamber he set her on her feet then kneeled at once to submerge his horns in the warm pool. He shook his head briefly but vigorously, raising it to let the water stream down his face and neck. They dripped red so he plunged them in again, satisfied at their color when he rose the second time. </p><p>He wore no cape, his arms bare of ornamentation as was often the case when he knew his projects would become… messy. The fabric that covered his legs was soaked, clinging to him in a way that Lily found most distracting as soon as she noticed it, stuck as it was to the backs of his thighs and the muscular curve of his rear, and then as he turned and she saw the stark outline of his erection. He stripped himself and approached her, removing her dress and lifting her to join him in the bath.</p><p>Lily let her slippers fall on the way, keeping her feet when he set her down to dip himself for a moment. He stood again, the water at his hips, looking at her. As she reached for the soap he gripped her wrist, staring hard, his breath growing harsher by the moment. Her eyes flicked downwards and she noticed just how much of the blood had ended up on her skin as he’d held her, especially just now as their naked bodies had touched. The waterline was just below her breasts and her exposed skin was smeared liberally with red, she was sure at least a little of it must be on her face also. Lily smiled softly, letting him look.</p><p>After a minute he groaned, letting go of her wrist and beginning to wash with short, impatient gestures. “Tell me now what you came to ask,” he said. “I want the image in my mind as we bathe.”</p><p>She sighed, watching as her lather turned an attractive shade of pink. “I don't know how to find the right sacrifice for the ritual, don't really even know what to consider.” She swirled the bubbles around on her chest, watching as his eyes followed her movement. “How much of them is left when it’s all done? Is the child the same soul reborn, or something altogether new?”</p><p>“They are new, in most ways. Very little is retained from past lives, perhaps a memory or two. It is less like pouring wine from one vessel to another and more like removing the water from the wine, using it to grow a new vine and fermenting the grapes that grow thereupon.”</p><p>“But <em>something</em> remains. That does mean that I cannot use anyone from your dungeons,” she remarked, rinsing her face.</p><p>“Why not?” he asked her, leaning to splash water over his chest and arms. Lily stopped what she was doing and watched him as she answered.</p><p>“Because I do not want our children to have memories of their father torturing them in past lives,” she said, acknowledging silently that these things were not always obvious to him.</p><p>“Minimal chances at best,” he told her reasonably.</p><p>“But I do not want <em>any</em> chances,” she said patiently. She could not fault him for his initial perspective in matters like these, especially as willing as he was to defer to her preferences. He was what he was, Lily knew, had always known. They each made regular allowances for the other, forgiving the differences in their natures with ease born of understanding, of talk and familiarity. </p><p>He hummed, thinking that through for a long moment. “Perhaps it is for the best. It is easy to set a lure for passing travelers.”</p><p>Lily shook her head, trying to sort out her feelings on the matter before she spoke. “I do not want just anyone. This is why I'm having difficulty. I can't bear the thought of killing an innocent, either. It is almost… I don't know how to describe it. I don't want to <em>steal</em> anyone's life. I want it to be… an act of love, somehow,” she said softly, unsure.</p><p>“Mercy,” he said, his voice as low as hers and his hands stilling. “You seek a sacrifice for whom it would be mercy.”</p><p>Lily held his gaze, raising her hands to his chest. “Yes, I suppose that I do.”</p><p>He wrapped his arm around her and she was reminded quite abruptly of his intense arousal as it pressed itself hotly to her belly. One of his hands rose to stroke her cheek as he sighed. “Perfection,” he whispered, leaning down for a kiss.</p><p>Rising, he stepped back to dip into the water for the last time. When he emerged again, arms out, displaying himself for her approval she nodded. He grinned, his laughter ringing out right before he dove for her, lifting her over his shoulder while she giggled and kicked, startled. He carried her through to the bed chamber and tossed her to their bed still dripping, still laughing.</p><p>“A basic seeking spell will bring you what you need, but you must be very specific in your intent,” he said as he knelt over her. “Give the spell to your little bird. A familiar who understands your goal is useful for a task like this.” His hands ran over her damp skin, stopping to tease the peak of each breast, dip a claw into her navel, squeeze at her thighs as she reached for him. “If your spell is well crafted and your magpie knows what you are looking for, you may even receive something you did not know you needed. It is often the way with simple spells that carry heavy weights.” </p><p>Lily bit her lip as he shifted her legs, drawing her knees up to her chest and parting them. The warmth of his hands on the backs of her thighs as he held her there made her shiver, his gaze as he stared down at her body intent. “I'll do that,” she said shakily as he rubbed himself against her center. “Thank you.”</p><p>He hummed in acknowledgment, inching his way inside of her as she gasped. “Later,” he added, gripping her legs tighter as their hips met. Lily nodded, her toes pointing and limbs trembling. She gripped his forearms, enjoying the solidity of him, using his strength to anchor herself while he scorched her from the inside out. The heat of his body and the stretch of him always left her burning, aching, restless with a raging fire in her belly that only he could stoke and only he could sooth.</p><p>Lily whimpered. Though she was sure he had taken her thousands of times by now, sometimes he <em>just</em> edged on too much, the way he filled her <em>just</em> shy of painful. Somehow that made each sensation more precious, heightened her pleasure and her joy at accepting what he offered, lent further strength to her ecstasy, made it easier to drift away into feeling. She hoped it would always be so, loved the way he overwhelmed her.</p><p>“Hold me close,” Lily implored, digging her nails into his arms. He released her thighs, his hands falling to the bed and then snaking under her back. His body arched over her as he curved his spine to make up for the difference in their heights, gathering her to his chest and tucking his chin over her shoulder while his pelvis still ground into hers. “Tighter,” she whispered, gratified when his arms squeezed around her, and then, “<em>tighter</em>,” again, nearly losing her breath when he did as she asked, his lips to her pulse.</p><p>She turned her face and pressed her cheek against his, her arms wrapped around his neck, clinging breathlessly. Lily felt a pressure build in her chest as he held her, as though her heart swelled with his closeness, as though her love for him was a physical thing running through her veins, expanding and pulsating with the rhythm of his flesh undulating inside of her. </p><p><em>Soon</em>, she thought as her extremities started tingling, soon she would use that love to create something new, something wonderful. She imagined their child briefly, wondered whose eyes they would have, thought of tiny fingers and chubby cheeks, of sweet, guileless laughter and someone innocent looking at her like she was the only thing that existed. The thought of it nearly brought her to tears, overcome as she was with tender emotion for him.</p><p>“I love you,” she choked out, lost again as soon as his lips sealed to hers in answer.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter is roughly a thousand words over my usual chapter length, once again because these two just won't keep it in their pants. It wasn't where *I* was going, but sometimes they just do what they want, which is generally to fuck. *shrug*</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A Start</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lily left her lord dozing after awakening herself from a short nap. She was too excited to sleep long, too impatient to begin now that she had direction. She slipped quietly from the bed, gently lifting his arm away from her. He barely twitched as she moved, worn out and sated, and she smiled affectionately at him before scampering off to dress and retrieve her notes from the library.</p><p>She burst through the doors excitedly, calling out, “Come down, little one! We have things to do,” and snatched up her book before hurrying out again, practically skipping towards the workroom. She did not watch to see if the magpie followed her, but the flapping of wings from above let her know she had been heard.</p><p>Tossing down her grimoire, Lily moved through the room picking up odds and ends, just setting everything out on the workbench when the magpie landed on the little wooden perch Lily had placed nearby for her. She was quiet for a time, considering her intent as she set up her space, the ritual simple and practiced. She whistled, prompting the bird to land amidst a ring of small objects, stones and carved bone and wood. As she started she spoke aloud, voicing what she sought carefully, drawing an instinctive pattern on a scrap of parchment as she spoke. </p><p>“I seek a human to give themselves in love, so that I may take of them in love,” she began. “A human who seeks release, whose desire to receive death is as great as my desire to give life. I seek a sacrifice for whom it will be mercy, and who will understand my mercy as the love of a mother.” </p><p>The magpie blinked, staring with the eye Lily had applied an ointment to when first she had agreed to keep her company, giving her familiar True Sight. It had proven useful more than once in the past, and she was glad again today that she had done it. Lily held the paper to a flame, allowing it to rest inside of a bowl of salt once it caught. She let her candles and incense burn themselves out as the paper dissolved, meditating on her desires as they went. The bird was still and quiet, understanding her role in the scene well. </p><p>Once it was done Lily closed out her ritual and hurried from the room with the magpie on her shoulder, knowing she would return there soon to start on her herbal preparations. She all but floated down the corridors, anticipation making her feet light. It seemed to take no time at all before she was stopping near the path above, only a little out of breath as she leaned against the wall, holding her hand up to move the bird onto her fingers.</p><p>“Go, little one, and find me something bright and beautiful inside a troubled heart. You are so very good at finding jewels in the shadows,” she said to the magpie. “Find me the soul that will be my child. Go now.” And the bird snapped her beak with a subtle <em>gawp</em>, blinking a beady eye at Lily before taking off from her extended arm and fluttering out into the night.</p><p>Lily laughed giddily, watching after her friend for only a minute before returning to the workroom with the same spring to her gait. She put her things away and pulled out others, consulting her notes, measuring herbs and grinding ingredients into powders, setting them aside. She was short a few items but what she had assembled would speed things along once she could send the magpie back out. She left it all on the workbench, ready and waiting, laying out additional tools she would need later.</p><p>When Lily could do no more she returned to their bed, willing herself patience as she undressed again and wriggled back under her husband's arm. He had not moved, and for one triumphant moment she thought she had completed her task without waking him.</p><p>“Eager, are we?” he asked, opening one dilated eye, irises brilliant as polished citrine in the low light. Lily jumped, huffing a quiet laugh. </p><p>“How long have you been awake?” she asked, a hand to her chest.</p><p>“Since you rose. I have been watching you. You did not notice?” Lily shook her head. “You were very intent on your task.”</p><p>She shifted to face him fully, wrapping an arm around his ribs. “Well, I've done all I can for now. I have no idea how long it will take. I hardly know what to do with myself, I'm not sure if I can sleep.”</p><p>“Tell me of the rest of it,” he suggested. “I know the cycle of energy at play but am not much familiar with the ritual. I have never had need of it and creation is a woman's art. What else must be done now, what will be required of me?”</p><p>“Little will be required of you yet, I must prepare myself first. I will have to induce my menses so that my body will cycle into fertility.” Lily sighed, making a face. “I don’t much look forward to that bit, I haven’t bled since I shed my mortality and I do <em>not</em> miss it.”</p><p>“And how will you do this?” he asked, playing with the ends of her hair.</p><p>“Once the magpie returns, I must take a cupful of my sacrifice’s blood infused with an herbal preparation that I have <em>almost</em> all of the ingredients for, then continue the herbs everyday after until-</p><p>“Wait a moment,” he interrupted, “wait <em>just</em> a moment. You are telling me that you will drink their blood? An entire cup?” Lily heaved a sigh but nodded, watching as an ecstatic grin spread over his face. “This <em>does</em> keep getting better,” he pronounced. “I must be present when you do this.”</p><p>Lily shook her head at him with a smile. “Yes, of course. I guessed you would like that. <em>Anyhow</em>,” she continued, “I will need to continue the herbs until my body is ready to conceive, which will take about two weeks. It isn't exact, so I'll just have to be observant of myself.” </p><p>He hummed happily, smile still wide on his face. “And then the conception?”</p><p>“Yes. We will need space. I think we should use the throne room.” He looked pleased by this as well. “I will lay the circle and set the altar. We will anoint each other and drink consecrated wine, and then we make love.” Lily took a deep breath before she went on. “I must make my sacrifice at the very moment of completion,” she told him. </p><p>“Yours or mine?” He asked, an intrigued tilt to his brow.</p><p>“Both, ideally, but yours necessarily.” He laughed quietly, his eyes bright. It was the closest noise she had ever heard him make to a <em>giggle</em>, though his voice seemed far too deep to be capable of such a thing. “The timing must be precise to ensure success, if it is less synchronous the rite may fail and we would have to start over,” she added.</p><p>“It will <em>not</em> be a difficulty,” he told her, his grin stretching.</p><p>Lily chuckled a bit herself, pleased at his surety. “That's good,” she said, reaching up to touch his chin fondly, her eyes soft. She grunted lightly, her smile turning a bit rueful. “I worry that <em>I'll</em> have difficulty. The timing is not as strict, but the energy of my climax is still needed.”</p><p>“Then here is what we do,” he began, pulling her closer and holding her cheek, his face inches from hers. “First, I fuck you so hard that you cannot see the room around you. Then, after I have brought you to screaming ecstasy such that your insides will <em>liquefy</em>, I will steady you and you will make your sacrifice. The moment your blade pierces skin I will follow, I can <em>confidently</em> assure you.”</p><p>Lily smiled at him, nodding. “Sounds perfect.”  She leaned in to kiss him lightly. He had such a way of making things simple exactly when she was at a loss, of taking control of only the pieces that she was struggling with without undermining her will. He always seemed to have enough faith in her competence to give her faith in herself for the rest, and her anxieties dissolved to steady determination. </p><p>Suddenly hit by a wave of fatigue, Lily yawned widely, tucking her face into the crook of his neck as she did. Being pressed up against his warm skin, speaking on what fixated her, the slow drain of her adrenaline had worn through her nervous energy and her eyes grew heavy. His hand came to the back of her head, claws scraping gently along her scalp and making her shiver.</p><p>“Rest, and time will pass. Dream of things to come,” he said softly, his fingers lulling her into a deep sleep.</p>
<hr/><p>She awoke again with a start, her excitement returning with the first strings of consciousness. Lily turned in the bed, saw him sitting up against the headboard watching her. She sat up as well, observing her ring for a moment before letting out a small, disappointed noise. “How long have we slept?” she asked. Though she felt that her concept of time was much more solid than when she was first adjusting to the changes in her life and self, admittedly it was often still difficult for her to keep track of these things. </p><p>“Only a day,” he replied, extending an arm for her. Lily scooted up and allowed him to pull her into the cradle of his lap, her most favorite resting place. She leaned against his chest with a contented sigh.</p><p>“The magpie is still searching,” she said, a little put out. </p><p>“Patience, my love. If you want it done right, give it time.”</p><p>She nodded, attempting to steady her nerves. He was right, of course. These things couldn’t be rushed. “I'm sure I’ll just be restless until she’s back. I can’t help it.”</p><p>“Take my advice, do not look in on the bird again. It will only stretch the time further if you perseverate.” He slid his hands into her hair, fingers scraping up the back of her scalp and running down through her dark locks, coming back up to repeat the action. Sighing heavily, he told her, “I must leave you soon. The pit has been fruitful, there is much power to be put to use. I only meant to linger until you awoke.”</p><p>“Will you be long?” she asked, slightly disappointed. Lily's hands rested on his biceps, her fingers running softly back and forth across his skin, enjoying the firmness of him. She traced a bulging vein lightly, watching the subtle swell of it pulse with his heartbeat, steady under her own chest where she laid on him.</p><p>“Possibly. I will try not to be, I would be <em>devastated</em> to miss your drinking sacrificial blood.”</p><p>Lily laughed, squeezing his arms affectionately. “Don’t worry, I'll wait. I could not deprive you of such a thing.”</p><p>He made a happy, satisfied noise at that and ran his hands up and down her back, kneading the muscles sensuously. Lily pressed herself into him, arms moving up to encircle his neck. She raised her face for a kiss, moaning softly as she met his tongue, her hips shifting slightly. She felt him stir beneath her, felt his body begin to stiffen and the answering rush of moisture from her own and rubbed her slickness against him. </p><p>Groaning softly he pulled back from her, his hands coming to rest at her hips, stilling her movement. “Delaying my meditation now will only delay your preparations if your sacrifice arrives before I am through,” he pointed out.</p><p>Lily sighed. He was right again. She took a few deep, steadying breaths before kissing him lightly on the nose and slipping out of his lap and the bed. He turned, sitting at the edge of the mattress and pulled her to stand between his knees. With he sitting and she standing they were closer to eye level, though the height of the bed still left her looking up at him. </p><p>She leaned in for another kiss but he held himself upright, just out of her reach, teasing her. “So tiny,” he chuckled. “My delicate Lady.”</p><p>Lily scoffed and reached for his horns with both hands, only able to pull him down because he allowed it. As their lips met he stood and Lily held fast, lifted into the air, dangling. He laughed delightedly, rocking his head from side to side as her feet swayed. “Just because you are a <em>giant</em> doesn't mean that I am a dwarf,” she told him, giggling herself as she struggled to keep her hold, adjusting her grip a little as he swung her around with small movements of his neck.</p><p>“Not a dwarf,” he returned, his arms coming around finally to embrace her. “You are a little bird yourself, delicate and beautiful and mine. Only never fly away from me, sweet Lady.”</p><p>“<em>Never</em>,” she promised, her arms falling to his neck. Lily kissed him hard, holding him to her as he leaned forward and her feet met the ground. When they parted she took his hand, walking slowly towards the workroom, unbothered by their nudity. As they reached their destination she glanced back, seeing him already clothed. </p><p>Lily considered dressing also but decided against it for the moment. She was comfortable and did not really <em>feel</em> like putting clothes on. Very rarely did anyone disturb them in these rooms and her lord was never quick to encourage her to cover herself. </p><p>He sat at the workbench before his crystal globe, his eyes on her. “Keep busy while I tend the shadows,” he urged, “or you will drive yourself mad. You get very irritable when you are anxious and idle.”</p><p>Lily laughed, leaning on the table. “I'll try. I get so bored without you sometimes.”</p><p>He sighed, reaching for her. Lily stepped readily into his arms. “I know,” he said quietly, his hands resting lightly at her waist. “It is tiresome to be alone. I think on my life before you and am not sure, in retrospect, how I bore it so long.”</p><p>“Well,” she answered, placing a hand to his cheek, “you had to wait for me, didn't you? We're meant for each other. What a tragedy it would have been, if when we finally met you had a consort already. You may not have looked twice at me.”</p><p>“Impossible,” he told her. “The purity of your spirit drew me inexorably. I would have turned away from her to pursue you.”</p><p>Lily pulled a face, breathing a short, affronted laugh. “I don’t think that is as reassuring as you meant it to be.”</p><p>“Why?” He asked, “Do you worry that I will be unfaithful?”</p><p>“I didn’t until you said that,” she responded pointedly, raising a brow at him.</p><p>He shook his head at her, his hands roaming her naked skin. “Do not. There will never be another, I am devoted to you utterly.” Lily sighed as his palms swept down her sides, one hand coming to rest at the small of her back, holding her gently but steadily as his other played with the curls at the apex of her thighs. </p><p>A gasp escaped her as his middle finger slid through her folds, playing softly at her entrance, rounding the sensitive bundle of nerves and coming back to push gently inside of her, mindful of his claws. Another finger joined the first, his thumb coming down to rub at her flesh slowly. Lily gripped his arm just above the elbow, using him to stay standing as her legs trembled.</p><p>“I thought we didn't have time for this,” she chuckled, gasping again as he crooked his fingers.</p><p>“It won't take long,” he said, leaning down to claim her lips.</p><p>Yet again, he was right. He knew her body well, knew exactly what pressure to apply, how quickly to stroke her to leave her whimpering, melting in his hands. In a few short minutes she was falling, leaning against him as her knees buckled. His hand continued to work at her until her tremors subsided, his arm around her middle keeping her upright.</p><p>Panting, Lily clutched at him, moaned as he carefully withdrew his fingers. He held her tightly as she regained her breath and her legs steadied, rubbing soothing patterns into her skin where his hands rested. Once she had calmed he tilted her face up for another kiss, slow and sensual. </p><p>“And now,” he said, making her jump when one hand suddenly reached up to pinch her hardened nipple, “go entertain yourself. Do not stand in this room and pace while you wait or the next few days will feel like <em>weeks</em> as you wear a groove into the floor.” He turned her bodily, hands on her shoulders, and gave her bottom a sharp pat as she huffed indignantly.</p><p>“Tyrant,” she mumbled at him, to his great amusement. </p><p>“Kind of you to say so,” he told her as she walked towards the door, his laughter full and deep. Lily glanced back before she left, watched him light incense and meet her eyes fondly before he closed his own, hands snaking around the globe in front of him. His smile was still fixed when she shut the door behind her.</p><p>Walking back to their bed chamber slowly, Lily raised her arms above her head in a stretch, stopping for a spontaneous moment to turn a quick pirouette. She giggled to herself and spun again, lifting her leg in an elegant point, hopping to her other foot. Arms out, she danced down the hall, humming lightly. </p><p>Everything was perfect, beautiful, <em>wonderful</em>. Never would she have suspected this life for herself, but now she could scarcely imagine another. She took a moment in gratitude for her lord's persistence and the magic of dreams, still humming as she crossed the threshold of their room.</p><p>“Like a child feels, watching a rainbow… like a bird…” Lily sang absently, stopping short when she heard herself. She had not even thought of that song in years. “<em>Ugh</em>,” she scoffed, frowning. she shook her head, dismissing the path her thoughts had started down, thinking deliberately of her plans instead. Nothing would ruin this joyous mood she was in, she would not allow it.</p><p>Lily hummed a different song, skipping towards the bath. As she went she summoned a chalice, blowing into it and watching it fill with dark wine as she walked. She sipped at it before setting it on the rim of the pool, stepping gingerly over the side. Bathing was less fun without company, but still a pleasant way to distract herself for a while. She leaned back, lifting her hair over the ledge to keep dry and allowing the hot water to envelope her to the neck.</p><p>Closing her eyes, Lily tilted her head back and waited.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Almost made it through the chapter without sexy times, but... I'm not sure it's possible for these two to be in the same room for any length of time without some shenanigans taking place. It's just not *realistic,* damn it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Albin, Part One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lily sat, tearing a dark crust of bread into little pieces distractedly. Crumbs dropped messily to her lap but she took no notice. She had finished picking at her food some time ago but remained at the table, frustrated in her anticipation. </p><p>She had many things which she <em>could</em> be doing, like addressing the dozens of unfinished paintings and sculptures and needlepoint projects tucked into corners which had been started in moments like these and abandoned as soon as her lord had become available again. There were books that wanted reading and her own meditations to practice, even a modest garden to tend, space given to her some time back when her interest in herbalism had grown more direct. Lily could not concentrate on any of it.</p><p>Still she could not keep track of the hour. She had not slept, though the attempt was made more than once. It did not quite yet feel like <em>weeks</em> had gone by, but Lily was shocked by the strange way that the moments stretched before her, the way the world became distorted from time to time. </p><p>Her wine, for a start, seemed to be moving most oddly. When she tilted the glass it swirled to and fro as she expected, but seemed to do so just a bit too slowly, as though it were some type of syrup. Today of all days she understood why the king kept no clocks. She imagined herself watching the hands tick, driving herself mad waiting for each little movement. She imagined <em>him</em> watching them, day after day, year after year, no one to speak to… nothing to look <em>forward</em> to… just the endless seconds passing with no hope of escape from the torment he was forged from. </p><p>Lily’s heart ached for him, as it always did when she thought on his nature. He had no internal source of peace, <em>nothing</em> of his creation had a trace of joy or contentment, only the first pain that ever was, the first anger, the first need. To sit still with himself was to allow it all to roil unchecked. How could she not empathize with his pleasure-seeking ways, not forgive his pleasure in cruelty when the energy it fed him was what kept him thriving?</p><p>He could not help what he was made of, could not help that like drew power from like or that power was required to defend his own survival and that of all the dark brethren. His power was also required for the survival of all creatures between, which was most living things though they often refused to admit it. Lily had certainly not realized it before. She knew better now. </p><p>How he was scorned for his role in the universe, how he was shunned in favor of the light, though it held as much danger to the middle worlds as he did, though they were each equally as necessary as the other. Still, no one wanted to suffer, let alone admit that their life was not possible without suffering.</p><p>Lily picked up her wine glass, holding it aloft and tipping it fully upside down. She watched as the dark liquor shifted, though it was now slow enough that she had to lift her glass <em>up</em> to empty it before setting it back on the table. She watched the wine dribble slowly in amazement as seconds <em>seemed</em> to pass by. </p><p>Flapping in the distance started her. Lily jumped up, letting crumbs fall from her skirt carelessly. She noted only vaguely the quick splatter of wine hitting the floor, stepping over the puddle and running towards the sound of wings. </p><p>She found herself met half way by the magpie, though the bird seemed to be alone. Stopped short, Lily whistled an inquiry, to which the bird just circled around and began flying the way she came as her mistress followed eagerly. At first as they neared the tree's hollow Lily saw nothing, but as they came closer her familiar landed on a dark lump huddled by a protruding root. This she saw to be the hunched form of a young man.</p><p>Lily knelt near him, placing her hand on his bowed spine. He jumped violently and she did not pull back, instead only rubbing soothing circles into his neck, pushing back his matted blonde hair as he began to shake and she heard the wet breaths that only came with tears.</p><p>“Don’t be afraid, sweet boy. I'm here to care for you,” she said softly, trying to catch a glimpse of his face as the magpie jumped to her shoulder.</p><p>He began sobbing in earnest at her words, shaking his head. “I do not deserve anyone's care,” he moaned. “I have killed my wife. I killed her though she was my joy in this world. I deserve <em>nothing</em>.” </p><p>Lily wrapped her arms gently around him, pulling his upper body into the cradle of her lap. He fell limply, sobbing harder as she continued to hold him. “You are here so that I can take that pain from you,” she told him, swallowing hard. “I am in need of a life, one freely given. You were chosen for this.”</p><p>Though his sobs did not cease he quieted, enough to find his voice again. “Wh-why? What could you n-need from me?” he asked miserably. She sighed, looking him over. He was dirty as though he had wandered outdoors a while, slight of frame but strong of build, tanned, clothes the simple garb of working men. His shoes were gone. He was meant for her and all she could do now was be honest. </p><p>“I wish to have a child,” she explained, “but my lord and I need your help.” He looked up into her face for the first time at this, though he stayed silent while she continued. “Because of our natures we must make sacrifice to achieve it. I cast a spell in search of a life that would desire to give what I must take.” Lily gazed into his eyes, watery and bloodshot, yet the clearest of blues that reminded her of bright skies and cherished days gone by. “It brought me you.”</p><p>“You… must make sacrifice?” </p><p>She sighed, nodding. “We are immortal creatures. It is what's required of us.”</p><p>He thought, rubbing at his eyes, still sniffling. “And me? I am…” he gaped, trying to make sense of things.</p><p>“You are meant to be that sacrifice,” she said softly, continuing to stroke his back.</p><p>“I am meant to be that sacrifice,” he whispered, apparently to himself. “But I… where am I?” his eyes darted around the cavernous space, seemingly observing his surroundings for the first time. Lily's chest grew tight looking at him, disheveled and disoriented, tears wetting his face. </p><p>“You are in my home beneath the great tree. I sent my friend here,” she tilted her head towards the shoulder where the magpie rested quietly, watching, “out above to find you. I'm sorry if it was confusing. <em>Go to the library</em>,” she added to the magpie, she and the boy watching as the bird took off.</p><p>“I don't remember coming here.”</p><p>“I know,” Lily nodded, stroking the backs of her fingers across his jaw. “You were bespelled. Don't fret about it now, the important thing is that you are here, and that we will both have what we seek.”</p><p>“Sacrifice… you will take my life?” His eyes grew hazy as he spoke, looking inward.</p><p>“Yes,” Lily breathed, holding his cheek. </p><p>His face crumpled again and he reached for her wrist, gripping it tightly. “Alright,” he said, and no more.</p><p>“Alright?” Lily confirmed hopefully. He nodded. “What is your name?”</p><p>“Albin.” </p><p>“I'm Lily,” she told him, her thumb stroking across his cheekbone. “Will you tell me your story, Albin? I would be honored to understand your pain.”</p><p>“<em>Lily</em>,” he whispered, eyes closed. “Yes, if you care to hear it. I am a wretch and a murderer, and those I have cared for have not, in the end, cared for me.” Albin stopped at this, losing his voice to the sudden return of his tears.</p><p>Her own spilled over as she watched him struggle and she could not help her hands as they caressed his face and shoulders, soothed through his hair, brought him to lean against her again. “It is at an end,” Lily said. “In the next life you will be <em>loved</em>,” she promised fiercely.</p><p>His head shook against her shoulder as he sobbed. “You cannot know such a thing.”</p><p>“I <em>can</em>,” she insisted, holding him tightly. “The remnants of your soul will become my own child's. In the next life I will be your <em>mother</em>, Albin, and <em>I</em> will love you.” He gasped against her, gripping her arms as they held him. Several minutes he clung to her, wetting the bodice of her dress. She only held him tighter as they sat.</p><p>“I killed my mother, too,” he told her finally, crying harder still. Lily moaned, squeezing her arms around him. She held him until he calmed enough to speak again, lifting his head just a little. “I have killed the most important women in my life,” he ground out, swiping a hand across his nose.</p><p>“Tell me about her?” Lily asked.</p><p>Albin nodded, taking several long, deep breaths. “My birth took her. She and my father traveled that night, on their way to visit my nan. There was a terrible storm, unexpected and fierce… My father had to leave their cart on the road, take the horse and wade through the floodwaters to the nearest town, but it was too far. My mother went into her birthing pains early. She was young and strong, but the conditions and the shock… she died just as they found a farm on a hillside. I don't think he's ever forgiven me.”</p><p>Lily swiped her own cheek, her hand shaking. “Tell me of the storm,” she requested lowly, understanding suddenly why this man should be chosen for her, why this soul might need her to care for it now, to protect and nurture it in this particular way.</p><p>He looked up to her face finally, his despondent gaze meeting hers. “They tell many strange stories of that storm. It raged for many days. They say the lightning flashed strange colors and the thunder sounded like wailing, the most frightening and mournful noise you ever heard.” Lily closed her eyes, knowing already that she was right. “The land flooded terribly… Afterwards, blood lilies covered the hills for the first time. Some people will swear that they always bloomed after a flood.”</p><p>“They didn't,” Lily said tremulously. She swiped her cheek again. “That was the first time, most definitely. They are <em>my</em> lilies, created with <em>my</em> blood to correct <em>my</em> error.”</p><p>“You…?”</p><p>“The storm that night was of my own making, but I misjudged how much power I fed it. I was in distress and I was sloppy.” She sighed heavily, wondering how much sense this would make to him.</p><p>“You… Lily…” he pulled himself up, looking at her a time. A short, disbelieving laugh escaped him as he shook his head. “Do you mean that <em>you</em> are the evil Queen Lilith?”</p><p>Lily reared back, hurt and confused. “I'm not <em>evil</em>,” she countered indignantly. </p><p>“No, I'm sorry… of course not. It’s just… you are a <em>bedtime story</em>,” he claimed. She shook her head at him, rolling her watery eyes. “Then you are wed to the Lord of Darkness?”</p><p>“Yes. Do not let it distress you,” Lily pleaded.</p><p>“So he will be my father when all of this is done?” he asked, looking only slightly unnerved.</p><p>“He will, but do not worry. To be loved by him is a <em>great</em> gift. You will never want for <em>anything</em>.”</p><p>Albin seemed to pause in thought, his face slowly relaxing back into a sad neutrality. “I don't guess it really matters,” he said finally. “It's just so strange. My nan used to tell me tales about Queen Lilith before she died, but I always thought they were something like… like <em>bogeyman</em> stories, but sort of… meant to have something to blame for mother's death besides <em>me</em>. She used to say that Queen Lilith caused the storm to spite her, always blamed <em>her</em> for what happened. I was so little at the time, I’ve never thought that maybe they were anything more than stories…”</p><p>“Oh dear,” Lily sighed breathily, realizing that this was a much more layered gift than she had anticipated. “What was your grandmother's name?” she asked, convinced that she already knew the answer. </p><p>“I think it was Eleanor," he told her. “Nana Nell."</p><p>“And your mother was Anna,” she added sadly, nodding. “They were probably visiting because your grandfather had just died.”</p><p>“Yes,” Albin said slowly, looking at her in confused awe.</p><p>“I was told that… that she claimed I killed her child…” Lily whispered, shaken. “I didn't understand it then, but she was <em>right</em>… I am the same Queen Lilith that she spoke of, but I never meant harm to any of your kin.” She paused, her breath thick as she struggled for words. “I loved Nell dearly, as a daughter, but she denied my love and ousted me because of whom I chose to spend my life with,” she said carefully, sadly. “I was still learning to channel my power and I used my grief at her rejection in a spell which caused the storm. I did not realize that it killed your mother. You cannot know how sorry I am.”</p><p>“You knew her really? You <em>knew</em> my nan?”</p><p>“I did.”</p><p>“And you <em>did</em> cause the storm?” He gaped.</p><p>“I did,” Lily sobbed, a fresh wave of remorse hitting her for that event, this new depth of the hurt she had caused slicing through her. “I'm <em>so</em> sorry.”</p><p>Albin was shaking his head, taking her hands in his. “I feel no blame for you, Queen Lilith,” he started again after a brief silence, but Lily could not stand him calling her that after what he had just told her.</p><p>“Lily, <em>please</em>,” she asked of him, heartened when he smiled a little at her.</p><p>“I do not blame you, Queen Lily… and somehow, to share this burden with you, to know that you feel responsible also… I feel lighter and I do not know why,” he breathed deeply, his voice quavering. “You seem so gentle, so pure. I cannot believe that you would do such a thing in spite.”</p><p>Lily let out a shaky breath. “I <em>wouldn't</em>,” she declared.</p><p>“Nan was always too stern for her own good. She loved well, though it's also known that she could hold a fierce grudge,” he said, glancing up into her face for a moment before lowering his gaze again. “I won't hold any of her anger against you. Especially if you will help me now, I will consider all forgiven.” His voice broke near the end of his statement, tears returning. </p><p>Once again Lily found herself crying with him, feeling some weight lift from her heart that she had not realized was there.</p><p>He heaved a great sigh, staring at their clasped hands. “It is a very strange coincidence.”</p><p>“No,” she corrected, “It is magic.” He huffed a laugh through his tears, nodding. “When did your grandmother die?” Lily asked gently, suddenly needing to know.</p><p>“When I was small. Seven or eight. I was her only grandbaby before she went, lived with her until then.”</p><p>“And did your aunts and uncles care for you afterwards?”</p><p>“Moved back to town to live with my father after,” he sighed, his eyes flat. “He never looked at me if he could help it, though. Reminded him too much of my mother, I s'pose. Never liked to touch me, either. Drank a lot when he was home, just drank and slept so he didn’t have to talk to me.”</p><p>“That sounds lonely,” Lily said, squeezing his fingers.</p><p>He shrugged one shoulder, not looking up at her. “I met Deirdre,” he told her wistfully, “and I wasn't lonely anymore."</p><p>"Your wife?"</p><p>His eyes closed as he nodded, taking a deep breath to steady himself. "We were always together, since we were young. She was the only one who ever put me <em>first</em>, the only person who ever looked at me like they <em>needed</em> me…” he trailed off, his breath failing him.</p><p>“It's alright, Albin,” she said. “Go slowly."</p><p>He nodded, swallowing a choked breath, taking time to regain his voice. “We got married when we were still practically children. I found work fishing the river when I was thirteen and saved. By the time I was seventeen I got her a ring, bought us a place to live just outside of town. My father helped me. I think he was just glad to get me out, but I was happy. <em>We</em> were happy,” he sobbed abruptly.</p><p>“What happened?” Lily asked, one hand reaching up to stroke back a lock of wavy blond hair.</p><p>He closed his streaming eyes, looking pained. “We lived as man and wife for several years. Our only sorrow was that we had no children, but it was a deep sorrow. She grew cold with me, sad, always quiet no matter what I did… until one day, she brightened. Miracle of miracles, we had a baby on the way,” he scoffed. “She was suddenly my Deirdre again, cheerful and loving.” He pulled a hand away to swipe at his eyes. “One day soon after, the crew had a good morning and I came home early… and she was with another man. A friend of mine,” he said shakily.</p><p>“Not a good friend,” Lily commented softly, making him laugh through his tears.</p><p>“No, I didn't think so either. Oh, but I… Oh, heavens help me, the things I have <em>done</em>…”</p><p>“<em>I</em> will help you,” she insisted, watching as his eyes filled again. He nodded, letting her continued stroking of his hair soothe him. “Tell me,” she urged gently, watching him swallow.</p><p>“I killed him,” he confessed, gripping her hand tightly with both of his. “They didn't see me, so I left. I waited for him at his home one night days later and stabbed him to death with his own knife. It was easy, he lived alone and came home drunk. He had rivals, debts… weeks passed and no one suspected me. I thought… I thought that once Deirdre got over the shock, we would move on. There was the baby… though I… I knew of course that... so many years with nothing and then… but it didn't <em>matter</em>,” he blurted out to her. He stopped, breath heaving.</p><p>Lily waited, still caressing him soothingly. After a few moments he went on.</p><p>“I <em>loved</em> her. I knew she wanted children. I would have raised another man's child happily to keep her, to give her the life she deserved, but that was not to be, either. I hoped that she would keep pretending that the child was mine, let me raise it with her, but instead… I came home to find her hanging… strung from the ceiling with my fishing line. She had written me a… a <em>letter</em>,” he stuttered brokenly. “In it she told me that she did not love me, that she had spent too long <em>trying</em>. She said that she loved this other man, that she had wanted him and now couldn't bear the thought of living without him, of having his child but sleeping next to <em>me</em>.”</p><p>“<em>No</em>,” Lily breathed sadly, grieving for him. To love so deeply and go through such hardship for it, then learn after everything that you were alone after all... </p><p>“And so I left town, and I walked. Only walked and walked, through the valley and beyond, through swampland and marsh. I have wandered the wilds in search of beast or imp, anything that will make use of my flesh for food, a mud pit to trap me, <em>anything</em> to rid me of this treacherous life. You are right, I seek death. She was everything. I do not want a second chance, I do not want to try to <em>heal</em>. I just want to be <em>finished</em>.”</p><p>Lily sniffed, her eyes spilling over again. One hand cupped Albin's cheek, raising his watery gaze to meet hers. “You, whose mother I took unknowingly, whose pain I have caused… you, a heart that has sinned for love and now seeks reprieve from the torment of your every love <em>stolen</em>… you are what I did not know I needed. Absolution for a crime I did not realize I had committed, the only forgiveness that might help me release this grief that a part of me cannot help clinging to.” His tears wet her palm as she spoke, quiet but firm. “You are <em>home</em> now. I will relieve you of this pain. I will be your mother once you are reborn, and I will never leave you. I will cherish and protect you. You will <em>never</em> be alone or unloved again.”</p><p>His sobs, quiet at first, grew harsh as she finished. She opened her arms to him and he fell forward again, leaning his weight against her breast. Her embrace circled his slim back, hands smoothing over his shaking form as he cried. Lily held him several minutes, cradled him and rocked him, whispered soothing nonsense and brushed her fingers through his hair, damp with her own tears.</p><p>“When?” he gasped finally, not lifting his head. “Can we do it tonight?”</p><p>Lily sighed, knowing that she could not grant this request. Perhaps, though, she could still provide relief. “No, but I can put you in a deep sleep that you will never wake from. I can brew a potion that will lay you gently into oblivion and you will never know the moment of your death. This could be your last conscious hour,” she offered, still stroking his hair gently. He sobbed anew at this, clutching her desperately. </p><p>“<em>Please</em>,” he begged. ”I just want it to be <em>over</em>.”</p><p>She held him only a minute longer, guiding him to stand then with soothing, supportive gestures. “Come, my little love,” she encouraged consolingly, “let me care for you.” </p><p>Lily held out her hand for him and he took it immediately, allowing her to guide him, entrusting her with his life.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I have rewritten this chapter *so* many times and even ended up splitting it in two, but still can't get over it feeling really rushed to me. I apologize for it's clunkiness, I was struggling. Maybe I'll rewrite it again someday, but I have been staring at it MUCH too long and I'm just ready to move on at this point.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Albin, Part Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They walked hand in hand as Albin looked on with wonder at the sculptures on the walls, ornate and menacing and huge. He reached to touch detailed columns, stared open-mouthed at the size of fireplaces they passed. Lily tugged him through an arch that led to an ethereal terrace, the black sky identical to the one that hung over the pit. </p><p>This sky, though, was peaceful. In the pit the endless blackness closed in on you, made you feel trapped, tiny and eternally lost, but here it was quiet, serene. Here the sky was a comfort, cradling you in beauty that stretched infinitely, in the motherly embrace of the Night. Here she was always reminded of the dreams in which her lord had won her heart.</p><p>She led Albin past raised herb beds and benches, into the flowers she kept. Each one had their particular use, though many she grew for their beauty. All of the plants in her garden were black.</p><p>There was no light, the perfect lack being necessary to proper cultivation of these particular varieties. Nevertheless all was visible, a unique feature of this otherworldly night. The young man blinked hard several times as she watched, looking stunned.</p><p>“Never seen anything…” he mumbled, trailing off.</p><p>“The plants that grow here have special properties, “ she told him softly, unwilling to disturb the quietude around them. “They are unlike the plants that grow above.” Lily stopped them before a patch of wide, round blooms with gently cupped petals, crouching for a moment to pick one. “This poppy, for example. The way I will use it, it will put you into a sleep that only I can wake you from.”</p><p>“But you will not wake me, will you?”</p><p>“No,” she responded, watching him sigh in relief.</p><p>“What is this place?” he asked hesitantly as she stood.</p><p>“It is the lower realm. The Endless Night.” She took a deep breath through her nose, letting the fresh air go to her head, making her feel slightly dizzy. “It is a realm within yours, or under it. Something like that. I've never quite sorted it out myself. The dimensions can be confusing to consider.”</p><p>Albin nodded, though he still seemed perplexed. He stood quietly, looking exhausted as she offered her hand again.</p><p>“Come,” Lily said, pulling him back towards the arch and inside.</p><p>He held her hand tightly as she led him to the workroom, the way he shook tugging at her heart. Just before they went in she paused to mention the other occupant of the room they were about to enter. “My lord sits here, but he will not likely speak or hear us,” she began to his confusion. “He is in a sort of… <em>trance</em> at the moment.” </p><p>“I won't disturb him,” Albin said, but Lily shook her head.</p><p>“I am only trying to prepare you. I am also telling you not to fear him. Many would. His appearance is, ah, <em>startling</em>, if you do not know him.” The younger man gulped but nodded.</p><p>Lily took a deep breath and pulled the door opened slowly, stepping in before him. Her husband sat unmoved since the last time she had peeked in, as she expected, though she knew not how long ago it was. She turned to watch Albin enter, saw him freeze and his eyes widen as they landed on the meditating Dark Lord. “Do not fear,” she reiterated, tugging his hand again, pulling him to her own stool at the workbench. </p><p>He sat slowly, not taking his gaze from her lord. “You are <em>his</em> wife?” he asked, voice low and unsure, eyes wandering up the monstrous horns.</p><p>“Yes,” Lily confirmed, moving around the room to gather herbs and tools, laying them aside her earlier preparations. She smiled, stopping to run her fingers <em>ever</em> so gently over his scarlet cheek before beginning her brew. She had obtained a small pot of squat black iron and placed it on another nearby bench, more stone with a divot inlaid for burning. Methodically she lit the fire, filled the cauldron with herbs and water and kissed marked stones before tossing them in, ending with the black poppy. Lily stirred it lightly, letting everything come to a boil. </p><p>“What happened to your shoes?” she asked him softly, her wooden spoon still in motion.</p><p>Albin shrugged listlessly. “I took them off. Seemed pointless. Maybe I thought that If I cut my feet, the blood would draw the wolves.”</p><p>Lily nodded. She took a deep breath in and held it, a hand coming to cover her mouth as her eyes closed.</p><p>“Queen Lily?”</p><p>She released her breath with a stutter, the tears she was attempting to keep at bay spilling over. Leaving her pot for just a moment she turned, gripping his face with both hands, looking into his eyes. “You did <em>not</em> kill your mother,” she told him, staring a moment longer. He opened his mouth to speak but Lily saw the protest in his damp eyes, shushing him before he began. “<em>No</em>. There were forces at work <em>outside of your control.</em>”</p><p>He closed his eyes and leaned against her, taking a shaky breath and nodding. Lily got a hold of herself again, wiping her eyes before stepping back to the cauldron. She shook her hand into the pot, watching as the tears she had collected splashed into the brew.</p><p>“They always help,” she said in explanation when she noticed him watching her actions. </p><p>They sat quietly as she worked after that, though it only took a quick few minutes. She strained the steaming liquid into a mug, handing it off to Albin when she rounded the table to pull him to his feet. “Carefully,” she warned, “it's hot,” and led him slowly from the room, noticing the last nervous glance he threw to her lord.</p><p>She closed the door softly, both of their bare feet quiet as they walked through the hall. They passed the great double doors of the royal bedchamber, wandering towards the many unused rooms further down the corridor. At one of the doors Lily stopped, pushing it inward and leading them through. She brought him to a bed in the center of the dark room, lighting a single candle with a flick of her finger along the way, keeping his hand in hers to guide him.</p><p>“Sit,” she urged softly and he obeyed without protest, steaming mug still in hand. Lily leaned over and wrapped her own fingers around his, blowing softly. The steam dissipated a bit, the liquid in his cup cooling at once. “Drink,” she added, raising the mug to his lips.</p><p>Again he did as she bade, swallowing her potion in great, eager gulps. When he had drained the vessel he handed it back and she set it on a side table then turned to him, urging him to lie down. Lily sat next to him, holding his hand as he went. </p><p>“Sleep well, sweet boy. You will not dream,” she said, leaning to press a kiss to his forehead. “You can't know the gratitude I feel for you.”</p><p>“I am grateful as well. Thank you for this, Queen Lily.”</p><p>“Just Lily,” she insisted.</p><p>“Thank you, Lily.”</p><p>She smiled, running her fingers through his hair yet again as his eyes closed. “I love you,” she said assuredly, overcome with the need to tell him so before he slipped away.</p><p>“I love you, too,” he whispered, his breathing evening to a slow, peaceful rhythm.</p><p>Lily held his hand a while longer, watching him, running her fingers over his soft features. She kissed his knuckles and laid his arm to the bed carefully, collecting the mug and glancing back before slipping out and closing the door behind her.</p>
<hr/><p>Lily left the door of the workroom cracked to allow her familiar access, having sent the bird back above to collect the last few necessary herbs. She yawned widely, feeling drained as she tidied her space, putting the little cauldron back, replacing her herb pots. She picked up Albin's used mug, holding it a moment in both hands before placing it on the workbench before her.</p><p>Sighing, Lily leaned her upper body on the table, tracing the cup's handle with her fingers. She stared at it a while, warming the smooth earthenware with her palms, thinking. Finally she held it close to her face, bringing one finger to hover just over the surface. Her finger curved slowly, etching with small movements and simple magic a small, delicate <em>A</em> into the side near the rim. She laid it next to the preparations that awaited her next step and left it, approaching the figure at the end of the workbench who sat just as he did before.</p><p>“Almost time, love,” she said, reaching up to stroke his ruby jaw, not expectant that he stir. Another yawn overcame her and she swayed, leaning forward against him for a moment. His heat was soothing and she allowed herself to linger, resting her cheek against his corded arm. She sighed. He was the <em>best</em> pillow, all broad surfaces and smooth, warm skin, his flesh <em>just</em> yielding enough to sink into slightly when he was relaxed. “I don't want to go to bed without you,” Lily whispered softly, not lifting her head.</p><p>She was surprised when he moved, one hand taken from his crystal as only the arm she rested on was lifted. His eyes were still closed and his face did not twitch but Lily understood his invitation all the same, climbing eagerly onto his thigh and tucking her shoulder into the crook of his arm. She curled her legs, settling them atop his, sinking into the curve of his body as his arm lowered across her back and his hand took up its previous position on the crystal globe.</p><p>Lily rested her cheek against his chest, immediately feeling comforted and drowsy. She let her eyes drift closed and breathed deeply, leaning into his scent and letting go of her worries.</p>
<hr/><p>She woke later when he moved again, though only hazily as he shifted her. Blinking a little in the dim room, Lily noted blearily the small new pile of fresh plants on the tabletop, the magpie sleeping on her perch. She stayed relaxed as she was lifted, allowing him to snake an arm under her legs, leaning on him still while he cradled her in his embrace and stood.</p><p>“He's here,” she mumbled, only half conscious, still cozy in his warmth. </p><p>“I know, my love,” he responded lowly, his gait slow and smooth as he exited the room. </p><p>“…sleeping,” she added, feeling a soft kiss placed against her hairline.</p><p>He carried her to their bedchamber, laying her down before the bed dipped as he sat himself. She drifted as she felt his hands run soothingly over her, skimming under her clothing, peeling it carefully away. Another minute and he was settling beside her, shifting her body to fit tightly against his, only naked skin between them. His fingers skimmed her bare arms, ran through her hair, moving it to reach her neck so that his claws could scrape lightly down the full length of her spine.</p><p>Lily sighed, trying not to fall back to sleep just yet, basking in his nearness. It was no use however, the beloved tickle of his claws and her own fatigue pulling her under.</p>
<hr/><p>Lily's eyes snapped open as she woke abruptly. She attempted to sit up but was held down by a limp arm, long and heavy. Deciding to relax back into his embrace and wait until he woke she wriggled down again, noting that her legs were also trapped by a thick red limb. Silky fur nestled between her toes as the tops of her feet rested against the back of his calf and she rubbed at it a bit, enjoying the textures of his body drowsily.</p><p>Apparently her jostling disturbed him, his bicep twitching before his arm moved to pull her more snugly against him. Lily took a moment to press into his front, enjoying being caged by his warm body and the feeling of security it gave her.</p><p>“Are you awake?” she whispered excitedly, receiving only a short, sleepy grunt in response. “Did you eat before bed?” He was always hungry after coming out of his meditations. The noise he made then was longer and sounded like a negative, but only to her trained ear. Lily giggled softly to herself. It seemed that today food was not lure enough to rouse him. “I plan to drink blood after breakfast,” she mentioned nonchalantly. She had to wait only a single beat before he was rising behind her.</p><p>“I am <em>famished</em>,” he announced, his voice still thick. “We should dine <em>immediately</em>.”</p><p>“Yes, I thought perhaps you were,” she laughed, pushing herself slowly to sit even as he was on his feet, facing her expectantly with a hand extended. She allowed him to pull her to standing but turned away as he tugged her towards the door. “I need to <em>dress</em>,” she insisted, suppressing her amusement. </p><p>He flicked his wrist carelessly and Lily was startled as a flurry of silky dark fabric swirled around her, resolving itself into one of the gowns from her closet. When it was done she found him clothed also, again holding out his hand. Though he did not fidget Lily could see the impatience in his gaze, sense the urgency that his rigid posture did not hide. She smiled at him, taking his offered hand.</p><p>When they reached the dining hall and sat to their meal it was obvious that he <em>was</em> quite hungry, though it seemed that a good amount of his enthusiasm stemmed from excitement for things to come. He ate heartily as he asked after her time alone, asked her to relate the outcome of her spell with great interest.</p><p>“His name is Albin and he is perfect,” she said to him, her smile fond. Lily told him the boy's story as he listened avidly, quietly, his eyes considering. Though the meeting had been an emotional one she felt steady now, just distant enough from it not to threaten her sense of calm. He hummed thoughtfully as she disclosed the boy's origins and her place in his mother's death, not seeming a bit surprised. </p><p>“Strong ties to this one,” he commented, tapping the arm of his chair. “Heed the lessons he brings you.”</p><p>“Such as?” Lily tore a fig in half, watching as the lighter inner flesh flared outwards. She bit into it, enjoying the rich sweetness and the tender popping of the seeds. She could not imagine any food more delicious than this realm's fruit.</p><p>“He feels as though he is to blame for his mother's death.” </p><p>“Yes,” she sighed, putting down the remainder of her fig. She braced herself, already knowing exactly where he was leading her.</p><p>“But he is not,” He said plainly.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“As you were not responsible for the death of your own mother. Your recovery from an illness that she succumbed to was not within your control.” Lily <em>tsked</em> at him, unable to scold his presumptuousness properly, too aware that he knew her deepest anxieties to argue. “Or hers, for that matter.”</p><p>“I <em>know</em> that,” she snipped, though she wasn't as annoyed as she sounded. The way he prodded was very much the same as the first time he had asked her for this particular hurt, when she had raged at him in dreams for it. He was so very matter-of-fact about pain, would never allow her to hide it from him.</p><p>“But you are not <em>convinced</em>. You have blamed yourself for her death in strange and nonsensical ways, just as frequently as you have blamed her for abandoning you. Of course the truth is that there is not always blame to lay in death.”</p><p>She sighed, rubbing her eyes. “<em>Must</em> we speak of this again?” </p><p>He shrugged one shoulder. “As our first child, the event is significant. If there are connections they are important. It is a hurt that you cling deeply to, yet it has not served you in some time. I ask you- are you convinced that the boy holds no blame for his mother's death?”</p><p>“<em>Yes</em>,” she huffed.</p><p>“Then consider that perhaps his innocence parallels your own and allow it to <em>convince</em> you.”</p><p>Lily was quiet, staring at her breakfast, wondering why he always had to be <em>right</em> about everything. Truthfully these things had already occurred to her, but she did not care to address or even acknowledge the old, tired thoughts of self-recrimination and anger, the sharp, raw bits of her heart that only hurt these days when she poked at them. Or when <em>he</em> did, as he did now.</p><p>“I will think on it,” she conceded, willing to take his advice but not just at that moment. </p><p>He hummed, sliding a hand over hers on the table, leaning in. “Why do you eat so lightly?” he asked, deftly changing the subject as he glanced at her plate, sparsely filled with fruit and cheese.</p><p>“It is recommended not to take the blood on an empty stomach but I’m a bit nervous that I won’t keep it down. The thought of it makes me just a <em>little</em> nauseous.” Lily reached for her glass, swirling the dark liquid inside and watching it slosh against the crystal.</p><p>“Perhaps you will acquire a taste for it,” he suggested hopefully. </p><p>“Don't place any bets on that,” she advised, chuckling. </p><p>They finished their meal quickly, both of them rather eager for the next step on their journey. Stopping first at the workroom to collect a few tools, Lily led him down the hall past their chambers to the room in which she had left the boy sleeping peacefully. She placed one hand against the dark carved wood of the door for a moment, the other holding his. </p><p>“It is our future in this room,” she said, quiet but excited. He squeezed her fingers lightly before she pushed the door open.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. As You Are to Drink It</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lily pushed the door open quietly, though the young man in the room would not have stirred regardless. It felt appropriate to the moment, seeming to her that a sacred thing was taking place as she sat gently at the bedside. The candle she'd lit when she laid him to sleep still burned undiminished as the fires here tended to do. At her gesture the tools and the mug she had brought in, floating gently beside them, settled on her lap.</p><p>Her lord stood above them watching closely though he gave her space that she did not need. In that moment she needed <em>him</em>, needed his closeness as she performed this intimate act, needed his strength to steady her as she found her own. Lily held out her hand to him.</p><p>“Come close to us?” she requested, expecting him to sit or stand beside her. Instead he knelt as he took her hand, finally eye level with her as one of his thighs rested against her calf, the other raised alongside the mattress. She kissed him briefly as he wound an arm around her, effectively surrounding her entire body as his legs enclosed hers against the bedframe. As she pulled away he left his arm, curling his elbow around her waist, placing a hand firmly against her chest but following her movements rather than restricting them.</p><p>Lily was touched, taking a moment to place her hand against his and press it more tightly to her skin, slipping his fingers under the strap of her gown to feel him more completely. So many of his gestures of affection were just slightly foreign, just a <em>bit</em> strange to think of a human man performing, not only because no human man’s limbs would be long enough to hold such a stance so easily. This hand on her breast cradled her supportively in a way that lent her own movements surety, helped her calm the rapid beat of her heart and still her hands, feeling him a structural part of her more than a separate body which guessed her intent. </p><p>She reached for her bundle, arranging the mug, a few strips of linen and a small dagger on her skirt. Albin's arm was laid with care across her knees, his hand resting palm upwards on the raised thigh beside them. Lily leaned, placing a soft kiss on the boy's pulse point before she settled the cup into the gap between their legs, just below his wrist. She reached for her lord's free hand, indicating that he hold the mug. He grasped it reverently, eyes on her as she arranged the space.</p><p>With a last excited smile in his direction she picked up her knife, carefully tilting Albin's wrist towards the mug as she set the blade against it. She took a deep breath in and pierced him as she exhaled, only the barest nick required to start a steady, pulsing stream of red to begin flowing into the cup. It took a few minutes to fill, slowly tapering off a few times, requiring her to agitate the wound gently with a whisper to start it again.</p><p>When Lily felt she had enough she pressed a rolled section of the linen against the cut, wrapping another around Albin's wrist tightly enough to stem the bleeding. She tied it neatly, transferring his arm back to the bed softly and touching a hand to his cheek.</p><p>The kneeling figure beside her stood smoothly, full cup undisturbed in his grip. As he went the hand on her chest ran along her body, rounding her ribs slowly enough that she did not feel suddenly off balance. His fingers trailed across her back and down her arm until he gripped her hand, helping her up as she followed him to her feet. He let her lead him again into the hall, not spilling a drop of the precious liquid in his care as he closed the door behind them.</p><p>Once in the workroom she took the mug from him and placed it near the little fire pit she had used to brew Albin's death sleep, lighting it again. She pulled the same little cauldron out, collecting waiting ingredients from the workbench, fresh and dried herbs, ash and liquor, baubles already set aside for this moment. She finished with the blood, pouring it slowly, carefully, treating it as preciously as anything that had ever been important to her.</p><p>Her lord stood leaning against the table quietly, watching her with a slight smile. “You look natural to the dark arts,” he told her once she had paused to let her pot bubble slowly. “So graceful, so wild. You have not even glanced at a book.”</p><p>“It is simple and I was already prepared,“ she said modestly, fidgeting with an empty clay bowl.</p><p>He shook his head once, a reproachful noise in his throat. “Let your accomplishments stir your pride. You rarely look at the books anymore. You have learned well and your skill can only grow from here. My lady is talented.”</p><p>Lily laughed quietly, squinting at him. “And my lord is ever the flatterer,” she responded.</p><p>“Should I not exalt my queen, dwell in adoration upon her every charm?” He reached for her, leaning in to speak quietly near her face. “There is <em>so much</em> for me to adore. I am entranced by your beauty, dazzled by your wisdom…” Lily winced, rubbing her temple. “What is that?” he asked, “A vision?”</p><p>She shook her head, for she'd had none. “Just a pain. It's gone now.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“I… don’t <em>know</em> why,” she said slowly, unsure even how to answer him.</p><p>“It is always something,” he shrugged. “Perhaps something small. Your blood is frothing,” he informed her, looking down to her cauldron. Lily jumped, grinning.</p><p>“It's ready!” she exclaimed quietly, tapping his shoulder with her spoon before taking the pot from the fire, stirring it once and dumping the contents altogether into the mug. With the added ingredients it was full to the brim, steaming, topped in a bright, festive-looking foam that made her giggle in happy anticipation.</p><p>“You are a witch if I ever saw one,” he commented as he stood back to watch her.</p><p>“<em>Thank you</em>,” she crooned back, feeling light of spirit.</p><p>She gripped the mug where it sat and blew carefully, trying not to disrupt the foam. It cooled too slowly for her liking even with a magical push and she began sipping it before she should’ve, pulling back when she scorched her tongue a little yet returning for a tiny sip more. He laughed breathily at her, bending to apply a finger to the outside of the vessel and cooling it more effectively than she was able.</p><p>“So eager to drink hot blood,” he murmured, almost to himself as he watched her intently, eyes fixed on her mouth as she took a long draft, swallowing several times before pulling away.</p><p>“Still rather warm,” she commented before raising the cup to her lips again. He watched her eyes now as he nodded.</p><p>“As it should be,” was his distracted reply. </p><p>Lily understood why he said so. The liquid in her mouth was rich and full-bodied, smooth and comforting sliding down her throat, satisfying as it filled her belly. The herbs added a vegetal depth that was slightly bitter but pleasant to itself. She had not expected it to be quite so lovely an experience, though she was always admitting to herself in small ways that she was less attached to convention than she'd thought and that <em>many</em> things which she might’ve found repugnant were actually quite pleasurable in her immortal state.</p><p>She thought of the many little tastes that had left her smiling over the years. Lily had enjoyed the flavor of <em>his</em> blood a time or two, certainly. She considered a moment which she recalled as him convincing her to take a bite of raw meat and upon reflection realized that he had only held it to her lips as she sat across his knee, staring at his own plate. To find blood in his kiss never motivated her to pull away from him, though she protested if she could <em>see</em> it. The flavor had long been appealing, what had kept her resistant was the idea.</p><p>Lily finished her cup, careful of the sediment and stones at the bottom. When she looked down into it she paused, squinting at a definite pattern in the ground herbs, falling like tea leaves for her to interpret. Scoffing, she swirled the mug quickly between her palms a few times before slamming it upside down on the bench near her fire. She lifted the mug tentatively, peeking under at the herbs on the table and then at those left at the bottom of the cup. She scoffed again, rolling her eyes.</p><p>“What do the leaves say?” he asked, eyes fixated on her lips as he licked his own.</p><p>”I don’t want to talk about it,” she told him, wiping the tabletop with a cloth before he could see the splatter then shoving the cloth into the mug. He looked up, raising his brows at her. “I don’t want to talk about it <em>right now</em>,” she amended.</p><p>He hummed, leaning over her. “Perhaps there are more pertinent matters to discuss just at the moment.” </p><p>Lily set the mug aside, lifting her face to look at him towering above her. “Are there, now?”</p><p>In another moment he was kissing her ravenously, tongue delving deeply into her mouth. His breath was heavy already, uneven as he groaned at the flavors he found. Lily gripped his shoulders as he lifted her, finding a clear surface to set her upon without breaking from her lips. His hands found their way under her skirt quickly, fingers kneading at her, drawing out her nectar for him.</p><p>He shifted his clothing so that he could coax her moisture with his own sex instead, sliding the head along her slit, bumping her tender bundle of nerves with it as he continued to kiss her. As he ran through her folds the slickness of her soon led to him just <em>barely</em> dipping inside with each pass, the wet sounds of their bodies straining towards each other adding to their tension. He paused long enough on occasion to feel her try to draw him in, the reflexive way her flesh yearned for his creating suction when he approached.</p><p>Lily whimpered into his mouth as he stopped at her entrance, thrusting shallowly at first, allowing her body almost to swallow him of its own accord, fluttering and clenching around him hungrily. Once he was sheathed tightly inside of her he paused, leaning over to swipe his hand along the side of her pot to collect some of the remaining film of blood, lifting it to her lips. Lily licked it from his fingers, lingering to allow him to see it on her tongue.</p><p>He watched with hooded eyes, sinking both hands into her hair when she’d finished, using the grip of it between his fingers to tilt her head back. Bending, he swiped his tongue over her lips before kissing her deeply, stuttering out an uneven breath as he tasted the blood afresh in her mouth. At this he began to move inside of her again in short strokes, withdrawing a bare few inches before pressing forward to meet her hips. He kept a steady, sensual pace, drinking the soft stream of sighs and moans straight from her mouth.</p><p>As she lifted her legs to secure her ankles around his hips he reached to drag them further, crossing them behind his back high enough that her pelvis tilted up, allowing him to sink more deeply inside of her. Lily clung to him, hands on the back of his neck while he shifted her thighs and held them tightly, a slight sting at the tip of each of his fingers telling her that she might find shallow punctures later.</p><p>It was so beautifully easy to forget everything but his touch when they were joined, so wonderfully natural to fall into these perfect moments that stretched and floated like dreams. It was a decadent thing to make love with him, full of voluptuous abundance of sensation. What trouble could she ever know but the lack of him when he made her feel like this?</p><p>Her legs stayed locked where he'd put them as his arms wrapped around her back, enclosing her in his heat. His pace remained steady while he embraced her tightly, mouth breaking from her only to press his face into the hair at her crown. Lily’s cheek nuzzled against his chest as her arms found his waist, fingers dipping into the deep groove of his spine, nails scraping slowly outwards and running in circles along his ribs. </p><p>She closed her eyes and let go of the time, thoroughly unworried about how long they lingered, unbothered by the indulgent way they engaged in carnal activities wherever they happened to be and whenever the whim took them, which was often. Lily felt like she was floating though he held her close, kept her against him as he urged her ever higher with steady nudges of his hips. </p><p>He slowed as he felt her grow tense and restless and heard her breath become ragged, held her even more tightly as she squirmed. Her fingers curled and her nails bit into the skin of his back as he kept her on edge, now grinding slowly against her while her legs shifted and tried to bring him closer. Lily moaned helplessly, concerned with nothing but the hope that he would allow her release soon.</p><p>Her hope was answered as he slid against her firmly, sunken deeply and squeezing her body shoulder to hip. Lily’s stuttered sound of relief was muffled as she pressed her lips to his skin, burying her face against his chest. He continued to hold her just as tightly and grind in the same manner until he found his own peak, the sensation of his throbbing heat as comforting as his arms around her.</p><p>They stayed still then, keeping themselves pressed together with their arms around each other, lingering in closeness. Lily relaxed her thighs just a little, muscles twitching with fatigue.</p><p>“Have you anything in particular that you wish to accomplish soon?” he asked her after some time, to which she shook her head. </p><p>“That’s everything. Now we wait,” she mumbled against him. </p><p>“Then we shall return to bed,” he decreed, pulling himself slowly from her body. Lily groaned, not ready to lose the pressure inside of her, not ready to lose his solid frame to lean on. He chuckled lowly at her as she leaned towards him, not letting go of his middle as he stepped away. “Shall I convey you to the bedchamber on my back like a stallion?” </p><p>“<em>Ooh</em>,” she giggled, “<em>yes</em>. Come let me ride you like the <em>beast</em> that you are.” He laughed, turning around and crouching by bovine ankle and knee. She watched his legs fold, fascinated still by the strange, inhuman ways that his body sometimes moved though he did this every time he kissed her as they stood, otherwise having to bend near in half to reach her lips. His stature was mostly due to those beastly legs and when he did this he was <em>almost</em> the height of a human man, if one discounted the horns. </p><p>Lily slipped onto his back and wrapped her limbs around him neck and waist as he reached back to hold her up. She leaned heavily on him, depended on his arms to support her as her limbs still felt clumsy and loose. Her lips found the back of his neck as he bore her down the hall and she laughed softly in pure joy, considering this endless cycle of sometimes indolent sensualism and esoteric arts that her life had become. They spent every moment seeking either pleasure or power and Lily could not think of a single thing that she'd rather do with eternity.</p><p>“We will need a midwife,” she said suddenly, it having just occurred to her.</p><p>“A <em>midwife</em>,” he repeated thoughtfully, his gait slowing just a bit. “Hm. You may wish to search above. Ask your meddlesome little banshee friend, perhaps. It is said that the fairies have a way for midwifery.”</p><p>“That's a good idea, I'm sure Gump could find someone for us,” she said distractedly, lips back on his neck. “Did you know that <em>this</em>,” she commented, sinking her teeth briefly into one of his highly developed trapezius muscles before she continued, satisfied when he grunted a little, “is my very favorite thing to bite?”</p><p>He growled at her as they crossed into the chamber, moving to the bed where he dropped her gently before following, both discarding clothing carelessly. Lily flopped onto a pile of furs stacked on a bottom corner, pulling them out to form a little nest. She leaned back into it as he watched, kneeling above her while she wriggled into the softness. They were kept on the bed like the silk sheet for the sake of rich sensation, the lushness of the texture heightening the eroticism of his touch as his hands roamed over her skin. He had laid her on these furs the very first time they’d come together and they had stayed on the bed since, providing an occasional stimulating backdrop to their love play and a constant reminder of nights pleasurably spent.<br/>
 <br/>
Lily turned her face into the fur as he descended upon her, remembering their first night together as his mouth left a wet trail across her chest. She had been so full of nerves, so frightened and unsure of what would become of her, and yet so needful of him that she had she had been willing to toss away every other possibility of her life to find out what he offered.</p><p>“You are the very best decision I’ve <em>ever</em> made,” she told him dreamily as he settled himself between her parted thighs.</p><p>“A sound conclusion to draw,” he answered, making her laugh breathlessly. “I am gladdened to hear you say it,” he added softly.</p><p>Lily sighed, looking forward to spending this next little slice of forever in lascivious pursuits, to lazing about in debauched bliss as long as they liked without a single thought for shame. She let go once more as he kissed her, floated away with him as soon as they were whole again, connected as one flesh in rapture. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Did you know that Mia Sara has gotten buck-ass nekkid on film before? Not sure what the movie(s?) was(were?), but I sure did watch a little compilation video of all the scenes. Very inspiring! :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. To Accept Pleasures Once Shunned</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Somewhere between bouts of passionate exchange, amidst moments of quiet discussion Lily had contemplated aloud how best to keep track of the days passing. She needed regularity with her herbs but her sense of time was absolutely hopeless. He had conjured up an hourglass which now sat on a nearby table, a day's worth of deep red sand enclosed in the ebony frame and crystal.</p><p>Lily watched it dwindle while they rested, seeing that it would soon run through as she sat against the headboard with her lord’s head heavy in her lap. His arm laid under her knees and the opposite hand stretched over both of her shins as he slept lightly, her fingers running softly over his face and neck. One sleek horn curved into the crease of her thigh and ended resting on a pillow, the other shot into the air by her shoulder.</p><p>A twinge in her lower abdomen made her grimace but then gasp excitedly, closing her eyes to concentrate on what her body was doing. She felt a sharp pinch and a dull, radiating ache which were at once familiar and almost blessedly forgotten. Shifting her hips a little and finding the wetness she expected, Lily reached a hand between her legs to confirm her suspicions. As she pulled away to find red at her fingertips the body curled around her stirred, apparently jostled from his doze by her movement. </p><p>He shifted his head to look at her, mindful of his horns. Lily turned her fingers towards him and his eyes widened a bit in delight, the hand on her shins reaching out quickly to snatch them up. He immediately brought them to his lips and placed them inside of his mouth, sucking and laving at them as she watched with amusement and a touch of arousal which built despite the discomfort that increased within her by the second.</p><p>“Let me do it this time,” he groaned, kissing her palm before nuzzling his face into the juncture of her legs, still pressed together over his arm.</p><p>Lily giggled then winced.</p><p>“You remember what you <em>did</em> let me do?” She nodded. “You said it helped the pains. This will help <em>more</em>,” he insisted, his tongue wriggling between the tops of her closed thighs. </p><p>“So sure of that?” she asked with laughter.</p><p>“It is worth the attempt,” he declared with certainty, sliding his arms into a better position to grip both of her knees and gently pry them apart. Lily saw that he was resolved to argue his case further, could tell that he thought to meet resistance and was prepared to break her protests with the claws that tickled the seam between her legs and the gentle drag of his fangs against her skin. He was mistaken.</p><p>As soon as her legs were free she dropped her knees to the bed, allowing him full access to her body. He took no time to press his mouth against her, a low moan running from his lips to her center as he plunged his long tongue deep. Lily gasped, startled by how sensitive she was as he sealed his mouth to her flesh, hands anchoring her hips at the angle he desired.</p><p>He still laid somewhat sideways on the bed tilting her towards him and paused for a moment to move them both until they were diagonal on the mattress. Once they were far enough from the headboard to accommodate his bony crown he returned, swirling and flicking his tongue before delving back inside. Her hands went to grip his horns as they settled around her, a gesture of long habit. </p><p>The pleasures of his mouth were thoroughly distracting, completely drowning out her discomfort as she gave herself over to his ministrations. Lily closed her eyes and let him do as he liked, planned to let him stay down there for <em>hours</em> if it pleased him. It certainly pleased her.</p><p>His attention was back on the most tender bud of her sex, lapping at it steadily until she shook, until she tensed and came apart with a high, stuttering whimper as she pressed up against his face. Once her hips stilled a little he moved back to her entrance, lewd noises from the suction of his mouth causing her muscles to clench again. </p><p>He kept this up Lily could not guess at how long, lips and tongue moving from one engorged area to the other with leisurely persistence, coaxing her to ever more breathtaking peaks. Each time he pushed her over the edge she grew more sensitive still, until his eager mouth became too much, until the sweetness of his kiss became sharp by her own reactivity. </p><p>“Hold on,” she entreated softly and then louder, her voice unsteady. “Wait, I need… I need… <em>ah</em>…” Lily’s thighs tensed and twitched as he sucked at her once more before finally looking up. He rested his lips against the crease of her thigh, granting her reprieve in which to speak. “I think I need a little while.”</p><p>A slight smear of red was left behind on her skin as he raised his head to confirm, “You will allow it again?”</p><p>“Oh <em>yes</em>,” she laughed lightly, feeling pleasantly dazed. The cramping in her abdomen was completely gone.</p><p>“<em>Excellent</em>,” he declared. “You were so shy of it before.”</p><p>“I was, but I suppose blood doesn’t bother me as much as it used to.”</p><p>He sighed, licking the smear from her thigh before kissing the skin there. “I am awed at the way you become ever more exquisitely suited to me as you blossom. My lady drinks blood with a purity of soul that I have never witnessed. It is a marvelous, unheard of thing. Your keeping it through human sacrifice will be <em>sublime</em> to behold.”</p><p>Lily smiled lazily at him, not particularly concerned with his making assumptions. She thought it likely that he was right, as ever. He had explained before that this purity he was drawn to in her was not a purity of goodness but of self, the irrepressible surety of a child's intention that was often diminished by experience with life's more poignant lessons, sometimes lost entirely alongside innocence. He was pure himself in this way and Lily had eventually understood why it lured him to another. She could not imagine herself truly happy with anyone whose soul did not call to her so directly as his, did not reach out with such guileless need.</p><p>“It <em>did</em> help more,” she told him softly, eyes hooded. His laugh was low and satisfied, cheek on her thigh as he rested against her. Lily glanced at her hour glass, noting that it was nearly through its first turn. “I should go take my herbs. We can get back to things later, after we eat something.”</p><p>He made an approving noise and moved to get up, a contented smile tugging at his lips and a certain happy flamboyance to his movements as he stood and offered a hand. Lily grunted, an inconvenient thought having just occurred to her. “I don’t want to waddle around with a napkin between my legs,” she proclaimed. </p><p>“Then don't,” he replied easily. “What, you think I care if you drip blood onto the floor? Walk naked, leave it where you like. Sit on my lap while we sup and bleed on <em>me</em>. We will bathe after and I will thoroughly enjoy our evening until then,” he said jovially, gesturing again for her to stand with him. She rolled towards him and took his hand finally, laughing a little again, unsurprised truly that he would encourage such a thing. </p><p>They entered the workroom nude, Lily noting that his own arousal had only <em>mostly</em> calmed by the time he sat in his chair. He took a moment to lay a few fingers against his crystal with closed eyes before sitting back to watch her. </p><p>“All is well?” she asked conversationally as she gathered her things, cleaning the pot that had been left earlier with a gesture.</p><p>“All is very well indeed,” he returned, gazing at her bare form as she filled her cauldron with water and herbs before lighting her fire. </p><p>As Lily sat it to boil she gathered the mug that was also left, staring at the cloth inside. She sighed lightly, eyes darting up to make contact with his before she cleaned her vessel like she had the pot, swirling the linen and cleaning it also. He raised his brows, apparently knowing what she thought of. </p><p>“Would you like the symbols or the narrative?” she asked, his piercing gaze the only thing compelling her to offer the information.</p><p>“The narrative,” he decided, “I trust your readings.” It made her smile slightly, though she did not particularly want to make this admission. </p><p>“Twin paths, requiring acceptance and release leading to completion of a circle via a shift in rolls.”</p><p>“Ah <em>hah</em>,” he said. “And what is your interpretation?”</p><p>“I must use this spell to let go of my mother as I step into her role.”</p><p>“The leaves said that?” he asked mildly.</p><p>“<em>Yes</em>,” she admitted slowly. </p><p>He hummed thoughtfully. “Who else said that?” </p><p>“Don't be smug,” she told him, narrowing her eyes at his smirk. Lily sighed. “Every time I exorcise it in some spell it comes back again.”</p><p>“I know,” he said, smile dropping.</p><p>“It doesn’t even give me the strength it used to. The last time I tried to use it the spell failed and I was just left <em>holding</em> it.”</p><p>“When was this?” he asked, face serious.</p><p>“A few years back. You were occupied with the shadows and I was having a frustrating day,” she shrugged, dismissive of the incident. </p><p>“Why did you not tell me?”</p><p>“It didn’t seem important. It’s just gotten too… slippery, full of holes… It's like I can only <em>almost</em> remember why it hurts most of the time, but it <em>does</em> and it won’t just <em>go away</em>. I just want to stop thinking about it. It makes me tired to think about more than anything, and I can’t think of her and not this odd, fuzzy pain. It’s frustrating.”</p><p>“<em>There</em> is why your spell failed. It drains your energy instead of feeding it now. It is just time,” he declared. “A spell of this import is often the catalyst of some greater exchange of energy than intended. It is usually best to just let things happen as they do, fighting is generally futile and apt to be unpleasant until you ultimately yield.”</p><p>“Well I don’t plan to fight it,” she told him with certainty. “I will give this spell whatever it likes. I don’t want to cling to this feeling anymore, I am ready to remember her without it.” Lily sighed again as she stirred her pot, nervous about the piece she had yet to give him. “There’s something else,” she blurted.</p><p>“What else?” he asked patiently, eyes on her mouth as she bit her lip.</p><p>“It's strange. A crooked archway with the exact same curve, the same shape, in the same place on all three layers.”</p><p>He frowned, looking into her eyes again. “What did it intersect?”</p><p>“Nothing. It was unconnected to any other symbols. Just an arduous, unavoidable journey.” Lily’s brow furrowed, the anxiety that had made her avoidant until now showing through. “Do you think it means that my pregnancy will be difficult?”</p><p>He shook his head slowly, though he did not look completely sure. “It is the primary goal of the spell. It would touch the most intimate narrative… this is something separate that cannot be avoided but is contingent upon the spell. I do not know, but it <em>must</em> be something separate.”</p><p>“You truly think so?” she asked, hoping that he was more certain than he seemed.</p><p>“It is more than likely. Any child I sire will be strong from conception,” he answered, and Lily realized that he was more convinced of his last statement than anything else he had said. Though she knew that there was more male pride than experience in it, she could not argue his virility and was comforted by the thought that his strength and potency were to their advantage in the hope for a healthy child.</p><p>“I’ll try not to worry too much,” she decided, watching as little bubbles agitated the herbs that floated and swirled in the water. “If you think the baby will be fine I can deal with anything else as it comes.”</p><p>“I do,” he said firmly, extending an arm in her direction. Lily took a moment to let him pull her to his chest and kiss her, his hands swiping over her skin. When his fingers dipped between her legs and he pulled away from her lips to raise them to his own she giggled and returned to her pot, pulling it from the flame and straining her infusion into the mug.</p><p>“Alright,” she announced. “I'm done here. I'll just take this with.”</p><p>They walked slowly to the dining hall as she guarded her cup, she rounding the table to find her chair once they crossed the room. “I believe that seating arrangements were discussed earlier,” he remarked before she sat, gesturing to his bare thighs. </p><p>“So they were,” Lily laughed, setting her cup by his plate. It seemed that he took just about any excuse to keep her on his lap through any possible activity, meals being a prime opportunity. She frequently found herself sharing his setting but she did not mind. It was gratifying that he wanted her close and she could readily admit to desiring his nearness just as constantly. </p><p>It was also gratifying to walk naked with him wherever they pleased. She had grown used to it, comfortable with it, partial to it, even. Lazy days like this were pleasurable, days when there was joy in just not bothering, in doing simply as their bodies liked. Other days held other pleasures, days when they dressed each other in jewels and performed one sensual tableaux after another wherein there were no goals save exploring what heights they could achieve together, days when they spent hours drinking ceremonial wine and building power with joint ritual, often using the fervor of their shared lust. </p><p>Lily climbed onto him, leaning back and resting while he filled his plate for them both though she reached for more bread when he was done. “You see that there is bread on the plate,” he pointed out.</p><p>“Yes, and I will eat that too,” she informed him, ripping off an overlarge piece and shoving it into her mouth. “I want bread, wine, more bread, and… this, actually,” she said, mouth full, pointing to a thick, glistening slab of meat which oozed deep red.</p><p>“That is cockatrice,” he mentioned, watching intently as she broke off another piece of bread and used it to collect the dark liquid. </p><p>“I know, I’m craving the salt.” Lily made an appreciative noise as she chewed. He had witnessed her shy away from it often in the past as <em>cooking</em> cockatrice was quite an unusual method of preparation, common opinion being that the flame destroyed its highly prized texture. “It's better than I remember,” she concluded aloud.</p><p>A smile crept across his face as he watched her speculatively. “How did you enjoy the sacrificial blood, my Lily? I believe that I asked quite some time earlier but you did something very <em>distracting</em> rather than answer… ”</p><p>Lily smiled back at him, a mischievous squint to her eye as she trailed another crust through the blood on the plate. “It was… <em>delicious</em>,” she confided at length, popping the bread into her mouth. He stuttered out a breathless, ecstatic laugh, eyes bright as his arms tightened around her middle. His arousal was suddenly apparent but he seemed content to ignore it as they continued their dinner conversation, allowing her to push the next sopping piece of bread past his own lips.</p><p>“You should probably eat heavily in the days leading up to our ritual,” she told him, reaching for a wine glass which required both of her hands but only one of his to lift. She sipped carefully at it before he gripped the stem to steady the heavy vessel, tilting it a little higher so that she could drink deeply. When he pulled away she giggled and kissed him in thanks, the wine already going to her head after such a hearty draft. </p><p>“Should I?” he asked finally, taking a drink himself before returning the large chalice to the table.</p><p>She nodded, ignoring the utensils within her reach to tear off a chunk of the cockatrice steak with her own fingers, her long nails slicing through the tender, buttery flesh with ease. “It will take a good amount of energy from you, best to be prepared.” He watched closely as she ate it with obvious relish, laughing happily at this previously snubbed pleasure.</p><p>“I will do that,” he said, eyes not leaving her as she continued to eat with her hands, using her fingernails like claws to tear at raw meat, sucking blood from her skin with satisfaction. “You are…<em> so beautiful</em>,” he breathed, leaning to lick the corner of her mouth.</p><p>Lily sighed contentedly, enjoying the swipe of his tongue and the press of his lips that followed. She felt herself slip against his leg just a little, liberated in knowing that the slickness there did not disturb him in the least. She was grateful for her feminine blood, felt powerful in its celebration and in what it meant for her, in the fact that she took her destiny now into her own hands with this sacred fluid as proof of her capabilities. </p><p>She gulped down her herbs before eating anything else, reminded to do it by the sensation.  “Will you rub oils on me in the bath?” she asked hopefully. </p><p>“Of <em>course</em>,” he replied immediately. Running his hands over her oil-slicked skin was a favored activity of his, as she well knew.</p><p>“And massage my belly?”</p><p>“I will knead every inch of your flesh and linger anywhere you like,” he said, pulling off a sizable bit of cockatrice for himself.</p><p>“And then we can continue where we left off earlier,” she added.</p><p>His face lit up in bliss and he grinned, a gleeful noise escaping him. “It is my two favorite things in any world. You do not know how I love it,” he groaned.</p><p>Lily laughed and kissed him again. “I know a bit,” she asserted, reaching towards the plate, very much looking forward to their evening.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>One: Is *anyone* surprised? Really?</p><p>Two: I added a teratophilia tag to this story after clicking a google image of our leading man/demon led me to a teratophilia blog and I realized that this guy was prime monster bae (duh!). Hopefully someone searching the tag will enjoy it. I don't know, I don't tag well. I need help with these things.</p><p>Three: MoD is shaping up to be significantly longer than Lilith Rising. I'm never really sure, but I'm obviously not too worried about being concise and even though we're just a few thousand words shy of LR's completed length I suspect that we're not even half way through with MoD. Just a heads up.</p><p>As always, comments are appreciated and fed upon hungrily for motivation.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Tribute</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Remind me to put that thing in a sack whenever I don’t need it,” Lily commented, distracted again by the slow drain of sand in her hourglass. Since having once missed its lapse by a few hours she'd watched it obsessively, transporting it with her from room to room and growing frustrated with her own inability to let time pass unobserved. It had even disturbed her sleep and she'd had no choice but to keep it on the bedside table, a check of its progress necessary before she could relax when she woke herself all too frequently.  </p><p>“I should have charmed it to alert you at the end of its cycle,” he mused as his curved knife sliced through a black peach. He bit the fruit in his hand, tossing the remainder into a growing pile outside of the space they occupied. Lily felt quite enjoyably inebriated, though not solely by the wine they shared. </p><p>A plethora of strange sensation ran through and around her, familiar and foreign at once. She was full of pulsing, effervescent energy that swirled along her skin and across every nerve, positively vibrating with it as they sat at their task. It made her feel light and heavy at once, gave her glimpses of odd perception beyond her ken, distorted yet clarified her vision while everywhere was the absolute, encompassing sense of <em>him</em>.</p><p>“That would have been <em>very</em> helpful.” She slurred a little as she watched him spit the chewed peach into the large silver bowl between them, slicing a dark berry with her own dagger. He drank from their chalice before selecting a plum from a bowl large enough for her to lie in- and bathe, probably, she thought with a giggle- slicing it neatly while she repeated his gestures. Lily chewed a part of the berry and discarded the rest as he had the peach, spat the chewed flesh into the bowl, drank sweet wine from the cup and then reached for a pear. “Hopefully I'll only need it a few more days, but we should do that before next time.”</p><p>“Already planning for <em>next</em> time,” he said with amusement after he'd spat his plum and reached for the wine. “You are determined that we should have an army of children. We’ve hardly started making the first one.” His laughter was pleased and a little drunken, though not as drunken as hers. The shadows which swirled around her caressed her lips, a phantom kiss that he had given her many times.</p><p>“I said it and I meant it,” Lily told him with her mouth full, spitting and sipping, reaching for more fruit. “I want at least a hundred tiny… tiny <em>yous</em>,” she hiccupped once, reaching for the wine out of turn. “to come out of me. I mean,” she paused, rethinking her words, looking a touch confused. “Yes. No, I meant that. How it sounded, I meant it that way, I think,” she broke into giggles and he fell in with her laughter, though he placed his hand over the rim of the cup to encourage her to set it back on the floor, raising her other hand to bring attention to the fig she was holding. </p><p>“Let us do one thing at a time,” he said as she cut the fig, her focus back on their ritual. Lily nodded.</p><p>“But without the horns,” she said suddenly, pausing. “At least at first. They can grow in. Bulls don’t have horns when they’re born, do they? They grow in. They must. They <em>must</em>. I don’t know these things, I lived in a castle before I came here. The cow would never let the bull near her again.”</p><p>“Bull calves do not have horns at birth,” he laughed.</p><p>“But you did,” she insisted. </p><p>“But you are not a cow and I am not a bull any more than I am a man. It is not the same in any case. It is unprecedented, we cannot know what form they will have. I am unique and have never produced offspring, nor was I ever a calf,” he reasoned.</p><p>“A <em>baby</em>.”</p><p>“I was never an <em>infant</em>.”</p><p>“Just because you were never little doesn’t mean you were never new,” she pointed out.</p><p>“Perhaps, but you were speaking of my horns.”</p><p>“I… I was, that's true,” Lily stuttered with amusement. She'd forgotten.</p><p>“I have never <em>not</em> had them, but our child will develop in your womb, not spring fully formed from the womb of the cosmic Night. <em>Ooh</em>,” though he’d been momentarily distracted his hand snatched up another peach, large and magnificently deformed. “Someone did something <em>scrumptious</em> for this one,” he remarked, slicing it and taking a large bite of the pitless half.</p><p>Some time ago quite by accident they had discovered that what they did now was possible, that he could fill her with his shadows and bring her into rites which had always by their nature been his alone. What they did now was a simple thing, trading energy for favor. These fruits grew on the far side of the great tree, each of them reflecting offerings made by devotees to the Dark Lord at altars bearing his symbols, each drink of ritual wine an answer to a request. He traded his skill as a sorcerer and the privileges of his singular position for small direct offerings of power, knowing that the strength in it was the anchor it kept in humanity, the devotion of mortals who aided him in small ways when he felt the need, the boundaries that they pressed against in his name. There was also a unique pleasure to the flavor of worship, she now understood.</p><p>Lily giggled again, spitting and sipping and reaching into the bowl only to pull out a mass of small conjoined apples which grouped in a lovely, surreal star-like pattern. “Look, a coven! Haven't seen one of these in a while,” she said, eagerly taking a tiny, careful slice from each fruit in the bunch and nibbling it. When she was done she counted them before tossing them away, grabbing for the wine and taking a swallow for each in their number. He took it directly from her when she’d finished, already having chewed a second bite of the knobby, bulbous peach.</p><p>“Whatever tribute produced this peach deserves reward,” he decreed as he drank deeply, pausing to bite it a third time before tossing it to the pile, chewing purposefully and spitting, taking one more mighty gulp of the wine. Though they had been doing this for some time, the chalice never drained.</p><p>The bowl to their side was nearly empty, the one between them half full. Lily grabbed a dark strawberry and cut it, yawning widely. As enjoyable as this was, it took quite a bit out of them both though he was adamant that it was a less tiring task when she shared it. She chewed the berry slowly, mashing the sweet flesh between her teeth before discarding it. </p><p>“I wish we could <em>eat</em> the fruit,” she commented, sipping the wine again, swaying where she sat.</p><p>“Almost through,” he said, biting a halved pear.</p><p>Lily dipped her hand into the bowl while her eyes were on him, watching juice glisten on his lips. The firm, waxy skin of the fruit in her hand gave her pause and she glanced down at a dusky lemon.</p><p>“Ugh, <em>why</em>?” She asked rhetorically, taking her blade to it anyhow. He chuckled and held out his hand. “No no, I’ll do it,” she said, making a face before it even touched her lips. Lily scraped her teeth across the surface, gathering the sour flesh and grazing the pith. She tossed the remainder away and chewed quickly, spitting with a smack to her lips. “Not so bad,” she decided finally, fingers clumsy as she grabbed for the cup again.</p><p>When she reached into the bowl the next time it was empty. He uttered a satisfied grunt when he noticed, casting his blade aside and plunging his hands into the bowl of macerated fruit that sat between them. Lily followed suit, mushing the syrupy mess between her fingers. This bit always made her squirm a little, but she didn’t have to do much. She watched the shadows curl around her hands like smoke, seemingly absorbing the mashed pulp hungrily. Shadows coated his skin as well though they darkened it to pitch black rather than caressing it like they did hers. </p><p>It was a strange thing to see him this way, skin the same ebony as his horns, eyes and claws glowing the vibrant peridot of his spirit gaze in the dim room. He only ever absorbed himself in shadow for certain tasks, though he had admitted to her before that he had sat in such a sate frequently prior to their meeting. What he had not told her was why, though she thought she knew by the way he had described the feeling of disassociation, how his senses spread outwards from his physical body and dispersed into the more ephemeral awareness of spirit, like living in a dream, more intoxicating than drink.</p><p>Lily knew something of what churned inside of him, understood as best as she was able the incredible burden of holding such a vast well of suffering that knew no resolution, could <em>almost</em> comprehend the struggle of unquenchable rage in cosmic proportion. When he had described spending hours, nights on end in the pit only sitting, listening to the moans as he drifted in shadow he had smiled fondly, but something in his eyes had looked sad.</p><p>They spent so much time together in leisure, time that she knew he'd lived alone before. She had wondered at points how desperate she might be to feel something <em>else</em> if she were him, if she were alone for so long. His reminiscence certainly made it sound like a comfort. Lily very much hoped that she was a greater one.</p><p>The volume of fruit in the bowl lessened gradually as they agitated it, dissolved completely into the dark essence of his spirit until the silver was clean and dry. He sighed deeply when it was done, blinking contentedly, if a bit unevenly. “Not what it once was, but quite satisfying nonetheless.” The largest bowl which they had just emptied he lifted with one hand, setting it aside carelessly before reaching further behind him. And <em>now</em>,” he said, bringing forth yet another vessel, this one covered in cloth as the big one had been before they’d started.</p><p>“Oh!” Lily gasped, excited at this still somewhat new, somewhat rare treat. “I'd almost forgotten!” </p><p>He chuckled a little, placing the bowl where the other had been previously. “Are you too tired? Would you like to wait until after you've slept?”</p><p>“No, I want to. As long as you catch me if I fall over,” she laughed breathlessly, eager and lightheaded. </p><p>“Your head shan’t touch the floor.”</p><p>“Then let's,” Lily reached for the cloth and lifted it, gasping at what she found. “There's so many!” she told him in amazement. Flowers sat in the bowl, lilies as black as the fruits. It was truthfully no more than she could fit in her own lap and did not seem impressive next to the venerable mountain of his offerings, but that she had any at <em>all</em> astonished and moved her. This tribute had started to appear a few years after Gump had first made the lilies and though her lord was not, she had been shocked that <em>anyone</em> would make tribute to her. This was more shocking still as there had not been a flood in some time and that so many people had discovered how to preserve the flowers so as to offer them out of season was remarkable.</p><p>“I know,” he said proudly. “My queen's name spreads in whispers, is acknowledged by those devoted to the Night. It is only fitting.” His hands swirled in the air and his spine arched a brief, celebratory dance that compelled her to writhe in accompaniment without thought, elated and having <em>such</em> fun with him. “Reap your tribute, Queen Lilith.” </p><p>She laughed again as his shadows pulled away from her hands to the elbow, reaching towards the bowl of lilies. The color returned to the skin of his hands and forearms as well, the appearance of the deep ruby that was so dear to her softening her smile. He exchanged the bowl between them for one that she could reasonably lift and one by one they plucked petals from the blooms and squeezed their nectar into it, black liquid collecting plentifully as they went. </p><p>They got through the bowl quickly and her lord sat back to watch her as she poured wine in with the juice from the flowers. Lily raised the vessel to her lips and drank it down in great, greedy swallows, careful not to spill. It had taken them some trial and guesswork to figure out how best for her to accept tribute, not quite having his same abilities, but this method did seem to do the trick.</p><p>Lily let out a shaky moan as she dropped the bowl, not noticing as it clattered away and small droplets of dark nectar splashed the stone. Euphoria hit her in a dizzying wave and she felt strong arms steady her as the room spun and turned slightly sideways, feeling the rush of movement as her body was made briefly weightless before settling somewhere that felt <em>very</em> nice indeed.</p><p>Blinking, she saw his face though at first in double. He was closer than before. Lily glanced down and saw that she was on his lap facing him, sighing happily at the turn of events. She looked back up to his face, strangely dark, and noticed that this close she could see how dilated his luminous green eyes were as they watched at her, could observe the flare of his nostrils as he breathed more heavily with every moment that passed.</p><p>“I feel <em>wonderful</em>,” she declared, clumsily wrapping her arms around his neck. “Does this happen to <em>you</em>?” she asked earnestly, making him laugh, for she had asked the same question nearly every time she'd partaken.</p><p>“Yes,” he responded with humor, stretching his neck for her access when she leaned forward to kiss it.</p><p>“Make me feel <em>better</em>,” she whispered huskily against him, hips suddenly rocking. “I'll make <em>you</em> feel better.” </p><p>He chuffed in his particular way which she found so endearing, his knees shifting behind her, hands tightening on her waist. As she leaned in to kiss his neck again he raised a hand to perform a series of somewhat sloppy gestures which brought several objects flying towards them, settling in their correct places with his minor direction. Candles lit with tall flames and chalk lifted itself to draw intricate patterns, herbs caught fire without touching spark. Everything around them was pushed back as they sat in the center clutching at each other, growing heated with small movements. </p><p>His hand returned to remove her gown and toss it away, the thick, dangling lariat necklace and shimmering bangles all encrusted with emeralds which he had placed on her earlier brilliant against her alabaster skin. His hand moved to her core but teased her only briefly as they both made soft, needy sounds. He did not linger long and she knew it was because he found her slick and ready for him, already saturated with need. </p><p>Lily felt him shift but did not notice when he disrobed also, only noticed when he lifted her and probed her quivering sex, the deliciously firm tip of him hot and smooth and bearing the most <em>delectable</em> sensations as he sank slowly, deeply inside of her. Both of them gasped, this beautiful intensity shared in bliss and in love, in reverence for the forces of the universe which had brought them to each other. </p><p>As her eyes drifted he stroked her cheek, reminding her to keep them opened, to keep eye contact with him. She blinked up hazily, focusing this chaotic, primal energy which pulsed through her on him, directed it to the place where they were joined. Lily let it meet the pleasure of his flesh, let it mingle and swell and take her all the higher as she gazed into his spirit eyes and ran her hands across his skin, blacker than deepest midnight. </p><p>“<em>Ilt lequ nasi hatnut</em>,” he whispered, prompting her to repeat it with him before continuing the incantation, this simple ritual oft repeated after consuming tribute while energies and sensations ran high. They asked Mother Night to bless their union, dedicated their pleasures to her and were granted deeper connection, deeper satisfaction for their offering. They would both be drained by the end of it all, but it was <em>spectacularly</em> worth it.</p><p>It was also timely to ask for such a blessing, for in a few short days they would ask for a much greater one. Lily had been watching her body closely, knowing that very soon their window would present itself. Tomorrow perhaps, or the day after, or the day after… she had been praying to the Mother in quiet moments that the time would pass swiftly.</p><p>Lily's head spun as he rocked her, hands on her hips. She could feel herself already climbing to a dizzying peak but did not want it to end so soon and whimpered, gripping his arms fiercely just below the shoulders. He understood her need well and she knew he faced the same predicament, slowing his movements though neither of them could have borne his stopping at that moment. </p><p>Too soon she was coming undone though she tried her best to stifle it, to relax the pressure inside of her so that she could enjoy him a little longer. When she could no longer hold back she made a strangled noise, nails digging into his skin, teeth clenched as her eyes stayed locked with his even while her vision blurred. The desperate sound he made at the same time felt like it seeped into her chest and wrapped around her heart, the way his body pulsated rhythmically along with hers as they found ecstasy in each other echoing the beating of their hearts in tandem. </p><p>Panting hard and tingling scalp to toe Lily leaned forward onto him, sparks of pleasure radiating through her from their every point of contact, tremors and jolts of heat shooting through her limbs. She was absolutely <em>exhausted</em> as she knew he must be, ready to fall with him onto a soft surface and find oblivion for a few hours. She felt him pull the shadows from her slowly and despaired for a moment at losing him, the retreat of the pulsing energy under her skin leaving her bereft.</p><p>“<em>Bed</em>,” she groaned, and he hummed in agreement. He helped her stand though she was wobbly and held her arm as they began to slowly make their way from the room, not bothering to clear the space just yet. “Oh bugger, wait,” she slurred, turning back to the table so quickly that she stumbled and he had to catch her, laughing lowly.</p><p>He helped steady her as she retrieved the hourglass, swinging her up into his arms once she had it.</p><p>“I can walk,” she informed him sleepily, keeping the glass upright though it was spelled to continue its progression anyhow.</p><p>“No you can’t,“ he responded cheerfully, to which she only scoffed. “I <em>like</em> carrying you,” he added, slurring a bit himself.</p><p>“I like it when you carry me,” she mumbled, head on his shoulder. She had not really been protesting to begin with. He chuckled, stepping over the many objects scattered across the floor, opening the door with a flick of his fingers and carrying her to bed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>During this little ritual Darkness speaks my own personal bastardization of Akkadian, an ancient Mesopotamian language. I'll probably use it here and there but none of it is *good* translation, I promise. I'm dropping letters (all words seem to end in u's for some reason?), cutting words in half and doing silly things to it to make it flow how I want. </p><p>So, ya know, sorry to anyone who speaks it as a first language. (No one, Barbara. No one does.)</p><p>(My name is not Barbara.)</p><p>If the translation *had* been good, he would've said, roughly, : "Goddess bless our marriage."</p><p>Also: Is it not just the most fun to get drunk with your partner and have sexy time? It definitely is.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. A Ritual of Conception</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lily awoke for the second time since they had retired much less groggy than the first, though still not of her own volition. The first time her bedmate had woken her as the hourglass elapsed, joining her as she had gratefully risen, gulped down her herbs and then gratefully fallen back to bed again. He awoke her now also, though she glanced back to find his own eyes still closed.</p><p>Another stiff poke to the back of her thighs made her jump slightly, holding her breath to stifle her laughter. She listened to his breathing a moment and judged him still asleep, the arm around her limp. She tested her mobility and attempted to scoot down a little, just enough to rub herself against him carefully, lifting her knee and arching her back slowly.</p><p>This wasn't a <em>terribly</em> uncommon awakening and during moments like these she enjoyed making a game of how far she could push before he woke, how much of him she could take in before his arms would tighten and he would press his hips up and steal her breath from her. Sometimes she teased herself beforehand, her goals being much easier to accomplish if she could glide along his skin at first touch, but she was feeling particularly amorous as she woke and did not think there would be issue. </p><p>She rolled her shoulders forward to compress her body and shimmied a little further downwards, stopping at intervals if his breath changed. Pushing back again, feeling him slip against her as she guessed that he would, Lily rolled her hips towards him and felt his tip push inside more easily than she expected. She turned her face to the bed to stifle a whimper and struggled not to tense around him. </p><p>This was usually the moment that he woke, if not earlier, and though he did not seem to wake now Lily felt him shift as his head angled down and his hips made small movements towards her. She met his gentle thrusts until she had taken a few inches more than she had ever managed before and looked back at his face, watching as he breathed more and more heavily through his nose, seeming to catch her scent just before his eyes began to flutter open.</p><p>His voice was thick with sleep as he groaned, arm tightening around her, pinning her bent arms to her chest and her back to his ribs while he met her with his pelvis. Lily stuttered out a breathy moan as he filled her, the pleasure even sharper than usual. He curved forward to reach her head, nose sinking into her hair as he inhaled her deeply, over and over. He let go of her arms and pushed her upwards with pressure from his hips, prompting another soft noise from her as he moved his nose down her temple and cheek, hand now stretched across her ribs.</p><p>At every exhale he chuffed, the sounds he made as he ran his nose along her skin and pressed deeper inside of her more beast than man. Lily reached an arm behind her to touch his flesh, finding the curve of his hip as it sloped back, enjoying the firm play of his muscle as he rolled against her. His hand migrated upwards to grasp her breast, the hardened peak protesting sharply as he pinched it.</p><p>Lily jumped, shrieking a little though even to her own ears it sounded like a request for more and he did it again, only startled into stillness when she physically grabbed his hand away.</p><p>“Too much, too much,” she whimpered, covering her abused breast with her own hand.</p><p>“You… what?” he asked, appearing dazed. “It was not… ah...” The hand she had pulled from her made a vague gesture. He did not seem able to concentrate, breathing her in like an animal scenting its mate, hips still making short, grinding strokes that he seemed almost unaware of when he spoke.</p><p>“Not hard?” she asked, getting swept up again herself as the sting dissipated. He jostled his head in something like a nod but Lily understood as she rolled her own palm over the sore nipple. Testing the other found it just as oversensitive, a jolt of pain surprising her when she pinched it gently.</p><p>“Oh!” she exclaimed, squirming away from him, struggling to sit up. “<em>Oh, oh, oh</em>!”</p><p>His hand grasped reflexively at her hip as if to forestall her escape, though when she lifted it as she had from her breast he let her. “Another minute and neither of us will be able to stop, but we should,” she told him, insistent though her body was screaming at her.</p><p>“I am <em>already</em> unable,” he groaned, lifting up on his forearm and reaching for her again, though his fingers remained splayed tensely against her thigh in such a way that usually meant he was overwhelmed somehow, attempting not to do her harm as he touched her. “Why should… I do not…” he snorted out a few more heavy breaths, never having seemed less human as he struggled to find words in a way she had never witnessed. “Come <em>back</em> here,” he ground out, half demand and half plea.</p><p>“Be still, beloved, <em>please.</em> I yearn for you as well,” Lily said, reaching a hand to his cheek. He let out a short moan and raised his own hand to press it more firmly, turning his face to her palm, scenting her skin again, kissing her wrist, drawing his tongue along her pulse. “But don't you see?” she asked excitedly, dipping her other fingers to her center as he watched intently. The slickness there was of a particularly viscous consistency as she expected and she raised her fingers to show him, though he did not seem to comprehend the significance, only breathing harder as he caught the scent she presented more strongly to him. “It's today,” she whispered, “<em>now</em>.”</p><p>“Yes, now,” he said with relief, aiming to grab her, a frustrated grunt escaping him when she caught up his hand once more.</p><p>“No, I mean that today we conceive our child! We must prepare now, I am <em>fertile</em>, it is <em>now</em>!” she squeaked out. </p><p>Lily watched his entire body shudder, a strange, rough noise rumbling in his chest as he rolled shakily inward, his frame curling on the bed. Finally he nodded, though his hand remained aloft where she blocked his grasp. “Then this frustration is beneficial, but I am having <em>great</em> difficulty,” he admitted, jaw hanging as he took a few breaths through his mouth. “You smell like something I must <em>consume</em>, I am sure it is your estrus. It did not affect me this profoundly before it ceased to begin with.”</p><p>“Then I’ve done something right,” she said breathily, watching his eyes close as he finally retracted his hand, running it over his face instead. “And we need to save all of <em>this</em> for the ritual.”</p><p>“Yes,” he nodded, hand dropping from his eyes, face finally relaxing. “And the moment of sacrifice will be all the sweeter for this <em>torturous</em> wait.”</p><p>“It will,” she laughed, hopping from the bed ecstatically. After coming to a point of reason he moved quickly, rising and following her out of the bedchamber. He lingered at a distance as she gathered items from the workroom, trailing them in the air after her, though he caught a lock of her hair as she passed. She touched his hand, waiting for him to gather himself before they moved on.</p><p>They came to the door of the room where their sacrifice slept, slowing as she pushed it open. She looked back at her lord and found him calmer, though he still seemed to be attempting to angle his breath in a direction away from her. She let him walk ahead and approach the bed, watching as he dipped and lifted the young man carefully. Albin seemed so slight in his arms that she wondered just how tiny her own form actually looked against him. He hung limply, the same as he was when she had last checked in on him, breath even and face serene. </p><p>“This should be their room,” she said quietly, thinking also of the sheer number of empty rooms further down this hall, only some furnished, their purposes having varied over the millennia but all long fallen to disuse. “Once they’re old enough," she added.</p><p>“Then it shall be,” he said softly. She smiled up at him, taking Albin's arm which dangled a bit oddly, tucking it safely back over his chest.</p><p>Lily started for the throne room, the mood around them suddenly solemn. The sound of his hooves against the stonework was comforting as they marched on, her heart beating so quickly, so fiercely it seemed like a bird flapping its wings anxiously in her chest. Eventually they entered the space and she rushed to the largest altar, the very same one on which she had stood falsely poised to kill a unicorn so long ago. </p><p>She cleared the space with a swipe of her hand, blood and debris removed and clean, smooth stone left behind. Dropping her tools, she looked up a moment to stare out into the universe which peeked through an arched cutout above them, sending a silent prayer to the Mother that all would go smoothly tonight. </p><p>In little time her circle was cast, her tools set on a low slab which had been arranged earlier in wait for this moment. He laid her sacrifice on a similar one to the side, rising again to watch as she filled a chalice with wine, lit candles and herbs, placed her knife on the sleeping man’s chest, arranged things <em>just so</em>. Finally she turned to him, simply holing her hand out as he stepped up to her. She picked up a bottle of anointing oil, pouring a generous amount into her palm before setting it down again.</p><p>Lily knelt and his hooves were anointed, oil massaged into the heavy keratin one after the other. “Hear me, powers of the Night,” she said, her voice sure. She reached up to rub the oil into his knees, the silky fur matting and taking on a more pronounced sheen as she continued. “We offer this sacrifice in honor of you, sanctified with blood…” She stood and slid her oil from his lower belly to his manhood, already stiffening again as he watched her, “and with fire.” His breast was next, heaving as Lily's hand rested a moment over his thundering heart. “I pray, Mother, accept my sacrifice.” He knelt when she took her hand away, bending to allow her to smear the oil onto his brow and rub it in well, his eyes never leaving her. “Grant us conception of a child.” </p><p>His breath rushed out when she took her hand away and he looked at her in the same manner as he had when she’d asked him for binding promises of love, honor and commitment years ago. She did not have to use these words but there was still a sourness to the memory that she wanted to replace, a sense of betrayal inside of herself that she intended to trade for devotion. He seemed moved by her choices and Lily hoped that perhaps she could give him something more valuable than what he sought before. She hoped now to give him the world in a different way entirely. </p><p>“I would have taken you to wife that very night,” he murmured softly to her.</p><p>“I know,” she said back, fingers running down his cheek.</p><p>He picked up the bottle of oil and began to repeat her gestures, though the incantation was for her alone. His hand caressed the tops of her feet and knees, slid from her womb to her sex before he stood again to anoint her breast and brow, watching afterwards as she picked up the wine. </p><p>Lily drank several deep swallows, for ritual's sake and for courage. He did the same when she passed it to him, draining the vessel before setting it aside. She took his hand again and he followed as she lowered herself to the floor, allowing him to lay her back as he knelt staring at her and she tried to look at nothing in the room but him. Lily tried not to look in Albin's direction or think about her blade piercing human skin as her husband leaned down briefly and pressed his lips to her throat, sure that he would be able to make her forget what she was about to do, forget the boy asleep so near and help her focus only on him, only on the life that they intended to create. </p><p>“Trust me now to care for you, give yourself to me entirely and let me <em>worship</em> you. I will bring you such pleasure,” he implored lowly, his swirling fingers producing a length of black silk. </p><p>“I trust you,” she whispered, allowing him to wrap it around her head, covering her eyes and tying it carefully.</p><p>“Always,” he whispered back, finishing with a soft kiss to her lips.</p><p>Without her sight she was hyperaware of his touch as he scraped his claws across her skin, trailing circles which preceded his palms as he went. Lily sighed and raised her hands above her head, arms limply falling to the warm stone. She dropped her knees invitingly, opening herself to him and then letting her muscles go slack, welcoming whatever he had in store. </p><p>He teased the skin of her thighs, dragging sharp claw tips from their backs to fronts, dipping occasionally to tickle behind her knees and trace her calves. Lily's toes curled and uncurled as he moved up, playing at her hip bones and waist. His claws scraped her ribs lightly, the pads of his fingers following. She shivered as he traced the creases under her breasts, felt a shocking rush of tingles as five points circled each one and scratched them to the tip just hard enough that she wondered if she would have marks later, imagining the faint red stripes that may well have been developing on her skin then. </p><p>Pulling <em>very</em> gently at each oversensitive nipple as he drew away caused her to arch upwards, a whimper escaping her even as he ran his palms soothingly over her stinging flesh. One warm hand moved upwards over her sternum as the other remained over her breast, fingers softly stroking her ribs. The tops of his knees were pressed to the backs of her thighs, heating her skin further as his fingers crawled up her neck. He laid his hand against her face, fingers sinking into her hair as he cupped nearly half of her skull jaw to scalp. Lily turned towards his hand, catching it in hers as he began to lower it and pressing an ardent kiss to the band of his ring before he moved down to trace her clavicle. </p><p>Heat followed his every touch, building in intensity as he went, slowly turning her blood to molten steel. Her hips shifted a little while he moved, urged on by the gentle scrape as he smoothed his fingers over her arms. Once palm to palm he enclosed her hands in his, his lips on hers again, tongue slipping into her mouth and meeting hers with a slow caress that filled her head with memories of every night that she had spent in tender connubial bliss with him and her heart with sentimental joy for it.</p><p>When his mouth left hers it found her anointed forehead, the simple kiss he placed there filled with such emotion that it nearly brought tears to her covered eyes before he moved on, skimming her neck, scorching breath sending shivers down her spine as it puffed against her. His sharp teeth pricked at her clavicle before his lips returned to nuzzle her shoulder and follow up her arm, nipping at her fingers. He moved from one hand to the other and paused at length to kiss the bands of her ring as she had done to him, holding her fingers against his lips. This time her tears did well, leaving the smallest of splotches on the dark silk that blinded her. </p><p>He traveled over the skin of her other arm, continuing downwards and stopping to lay the same unhurried kiss over her heart that he had on her brow. Lily arched her back as he moved lower, dragging his lips between her breasts slowly, tongue darting out to run along the bottom rim of her ribcage and circle her navel. His lips paused over her womb, another kiss tenderly bestowed before he moved again.</p><p>A continuous string of soft, reedy noises had started from her throat at some point but Lily choked as she felt his breath on her mound, legs tensing though she kept them open before him. She whimpered as his lips touched her, the wet kiss he gave her most sensitive flesh sending sparks to her extremities. His hot tongue circled her sensitive pearl a few times before he pulled back, her hips following as she moaned. </p><p>After a moment he descended again, sucking at her softly, tongue swirling, coming to flick her gently as though he kissed her lips. He lingered there a few minutes as she writhed, kissing her sensuously as her moans grew louder. She pushed herself into him, lifting her hips from the stone to add more pressure but he pulled away again, leaving her needy as his lips touched her thigh.</p><p>Lily whimpered plaintively as he scraped the skin towards her knee, placing another kiss here and then tending to her other thigh, kissing the opposite knee as well. One of her feet was lifted and Lily felt the softness of his lips as he kissed the pad of her big toe, coming down on the top of her foot next, the reverence in his touch stealing her breath. Her other foot received the same treatment before his hands slid all the way up her legs and stopped as they gripped her hips.</p><p>She was tingling all over as he found her center again, still kissing her with loving gentleness though his breath was heavy against her and the sounds he made as his tongue flicked between her folds were vaguely inhuman as they had been just after waking. For just an instant she could have sworn that his hands shook and Lily wondered how much he was restraining himself, the thought of his arousal sending a rush of warmth towards his mouth from her belly. </p><p>Lost to the sensations he evoked she began to tense, moaning sharply when he pulled her swollen bud between his lips and sucked hard, nearly pushing her over the edge but pulling away just before she fell. He held her thighs as they jumped, kissing at her engorged lips and sucking on them gently as her muscles slowly relaxed again, pausing to dip his tongue inside of her for a quick moment before resuming his more delicate attentions. </p><p>As her breathing slowed he returned to her entrance, licking at her opening which squeezed and twitched against his tongue. She tensed again as he worked it in and out of her, the length of it allowing him to press and rub against the soft spot that set her whole body alight. Lily felt a quick build of the hot pressure that preceded the fluid burst of release which came from that spot and resisted bearing down as instinct demanded, gasped in near panic as she tried not to lean into the need to let go. He pulled away from her just in time, leaving her restless with a whine in her throat.</p><p>Once she had calmed a little he moved one hand to her belly and the other to her core, slipping two fingers inside of her carefully. She moaned and arched her spine but the hand on her abdomen kept her down, preventing her from scratching herself on his claws as she wriggled. He waited until she was mostly still again and pumped his fingers in and out of her slowly, leaning in to lap at her sensitive bead again, edging her steadily back towards her peak as her head shifted and the noises she made became needier, more urgent.</p><p>Lily clenched around his fingers, enjoying the thickness of them, the heat of his hand, the drag of his knuckles against her insides while his tongue sent tremors through her whole body. Once again as she tensed he slowed, his fingers stilling and his mouth disappearing as she cried out in shock at his retreat. </p><p>His lips reappeared for a moment just above the crease of her thigh as his hand moved up her ribs from her belly and then left her as she felt him shift, his fingers still deep and motionless inside of her. Lily tried not to squirm as he laid beside her, his hot skin along her side setting hers aflame, breath ragged as his nose traced her hairline and temple. She lowered her arms to touch him, gripping his solid bicep with both hands as he kissed and then left his lips on her shoulder, slowly starting to move his fingers again.</p><p>She stuttered a gasp as her muscles fluttered immediately though he stilled his hand once more, palm tight against her mound. It seemed at this point that he held her together rather than coaxing her to pieces, prevented her release with pressure and his will as her body strained towards the inevitable consequence of his touch. Lily remembered for a moment that she had been worried and wondered whatever for.</p><p>When he took his fingers away entirely she nearly cried, straining, lifting to follow his retreating hand. He pressed his face to her neck an inhaled deeply, his low moan vibrating down her spine as he moved over her, settling himself into the cradle of her hips. She arched up with a whimper as she felt the hard length of his sex between them, rubbing herself against his heat eagerly and wrapping her limbs around him. He kissed her, hands roaming her body, kneading at her softness as he began to allow his own agitation to express itself, his fingers eager and a low snarl in every breath he took.</p><p>As his skin pressed to hers Lily noticed a subtle energy that pulsed everywhere they touched, growing as they writhed together on the floor. She turned her face a little and took a deep breath through her mouth to find the air sharp with the flavor of power as it gathered around them, accumulating as their passions built. His hand moved to her cheek and he turned her face back to his as he shifted to probe her entrance, so slick and needy that he began slipping inside easily as soon as his head found her.</p><p>Lily gasped and cried out shakily while he pulled the silk from her eyes, meeting her gaze nose to nose as he penetrated her deeply, watching his own eyes hood though they stared intently into hers as he let out a gravelly moan at finally being sheathed inside of her. She could feel his heartbeat in her belly and grew lightheaded as it spread through the rest of her body in a steady, comforting wave. </p><p>“Don’t look away from me,” he breathed against her mouth, though his voice dropped and halted as he pulled slowly from her and sank back in again. She nodded as he raised himself up on one hand, staring down as the other reached to caress her body, tracing a path down her chest and between her ribs. His eyes were glued to her lower abdomen, watching the slight distortion of her skin, the definite bulge in her flat belly that rose and disappeared as he continued to thrust. His wandering hand rested upon it, pressing gently even as his strokes became firm.</p><p>Lily observed his face as some thought or feeling overwhelmed him for a moment, noticed his shudder right before his eyes flicked back up to hers and her breath caught at the love in his gaze. He lowered himself again and slid his arms under her back, cradling her head in his hands and buffering her from the stone as he grew harsh pushing into her. She moaned sharply, that pulsing energy that tingled along her nerves and jumped between them amplifying every sensation his body stirred, every animalistic noise that spilled from him sending shivers through her bones.</p><p>Shadows began to curl away from his body as though smoke seeped from his very pores, crawling towards her as if blown by a gentle breeze. Lily was surprised for a moment when his eyes rolled back in his head but forgot it as the shadows seeped into her own skin, inundating her with more sensation, more movement as the energy building between them buzzed through her veins and his sex filled her rhythmically. </p><p>She made a long, helplessness noise, her arms tightening around his neck. He felt <em>amazing</em> inside of her, better than he had <em>ever</em> felt before, the most wonderful feeling she'd ever known. She felt like she had been riding her peak since he had entered her, as though she topped some incredible precipice that belonged to another world entirely, finding each time he pressed back in that there was further still to climb, further than she'd thought possible. </p><p>The fluid heat started just inside of her, just at that special point that only he could reach, filling her up from there. It burst behind her eyes right after, exploded across her chest and licked at her toes, streaked up her spine to arch it towards him. Her nails dug into his skin but she did not notice, eyes locking with his as she let out a high pitched sound that choked her, legs tensing around his hips. She clenched around him over and over, sobbing into his mouth once he caught her lips. </p><p>He was still working inside of her and making bestial sounds as the room came back in soft definition and her muscles slackened. In another moment he rolled them, steadying her as she gained her balance. Lily looked at him hazily as his hips rocked below her and he sat up just enough to reach her mouth.</p><p>“I love you, my Lily,” he breathed before he kissed her fervently, his lips and tongue expressing more sentiment in their caress than their words. Her heart swelled and she felt like her whole being reached for him as she lifted her hands to his face, kissing him back hard before his head drifted again to the floor.</p><p>Lily glanced to the side, for he had rolled them right next to the slab on which Albin still slept peacefully. Hand shaking slightly, grinding against her husband below her she reached for the dagger she had left on the boy's chest, using her other hand to move his head until it hung off of the stone with his neck stretched before her. His throat looked smooth and pale, the blond stubble that had not grown as he slept sparse on his chin. His skin almost seemed to glow by the flame, reminding her for a moment of a gently sloping hillside covered in pristine, glittering snow. </p><p>She did not hesitate. Lily glanced once more into her lord's eyes, fixed on her with such burning intensity that her chest grew tight with emotion before she turned again to her sacrifice, blade swift and sure as it found his throat. One hand cupped his head tenderly as cold steel sliced neatly through his flesh, the hot crimson spray of his blood hitting her face and chest.</p><p>The rippling body under her tensed and throbbed and Lily glanced down to watch as her lord was overcome, locked gazes with him as he began shuddering in bliss. The noise that came out of him was savage and desperate, his hands clutching at her hips bruisingly. Her dagger clattered to the floor as she was overtaken herself with another wave of sensation, nearly collapsing atop him as she whimpered and twitched.</p><p>All of the whirling energies in her body swelled and contracted as blood pooled around them, pulsed through her like lightning flashing beneath her skin to leave her nerves alight with profound pleasure. A strange gurgle came from beside them and she glanced over to find Albin’s breath persisting, bubbling from his slit throat as blood seeped from his mouth and nose, flooding from the laceration now in a slow wave rather than a forceful gush.</p><p>Lily could do nothing else to speed his death, knowing that she must make one cut only and allow the spill of his lifeblood to do the rest. Though the wound was grotesque his face was still peaceful and there was something oddly beautiful about the sight, something that held her gaze for just another moment before her eyes lowered again.</p><p>Beneath her was another striking image, glistening red on glistening red as the blood filled their circle and her husband's skin rose from the pool. His hands came to her face as he sat up, the look on his so fierce that she whimpered and clenched around him as their eyes met. His breath was still heavy as he clutched at her forcefully, slowly dipping his head to swipe his tongue across her cheek, eyes fluttering closed. </p><p>He moaned loudly as he tasted the blood on her skin and Lily could not wonder now if his hands really shook, her own body jarred by his tremors as he licked her again and his breath stuttered against her. Chaos and lightning still raged inside of her and her body still gripped at his hardness in need. She smiled brightly as she met his eyes, stared deeply at him as she was overcome with sensation, overcome with such joy and love for him at the thought of what they were doing that she sobbed once through her grin.</p><p>He gasped as he looked back at her, pulling her close again until their noses touched. Slowly, not moving his face from hers he turned them, laid her on the floor so that he was poised above her. He drew back then, lifting himself and taking in the sight of her with awe on his face.</p><p>Lily’s hair was spread loose around her, dark and slowly growing wet at the ends. Her skin seemed to shine brightly as the moon with the deep scarlet behind it, liberally splashed and smeared across her chest and face. Her breasts swayed as she gulped down air, flushed pink across her cheeks and chest as she gazed up at him with devotion and want, her slick, engorged lips still stretched around him.</p><p>He took one hand and laid it into the blood on the floor, raising it and letting it drip a moment before setting it firmly on her belly, holding it there while he looked into her face and thrust his hips. Lily moaned, still needing him to settle the energy that raged and pulled at him from within her, just as it seemed he needed her to calm something that filled him now as his jaw hung open and his entire body subtly shook. </p><p>His hand pulled away and he looked again to observe the large handprint that he had left over her womb in blood. It started from the heel at her mound and stretched with fingertips past her navel, past both hip bones with pinky and thumb. With a chuff he descended upon her, gathering her up in his arms and staring into her blood-spattered face as he began slamming into her harshly.</p><p>She shrieked in frenzied passion, the pulsating power within her vibrating and bubbling eagerly. He was making those animal noises again as he drove into her, accompanied now by the slight sloshing of the warm liquid around them. His tongue dipped again, now to her neck, his growl low and lustful as he pulled up to find her lips.</p><p>She whimpered into his kiss, metallic and sweet. The pleasure of him plunging into her hungry flesh was even more acute than before and soon she felt herself climb that peak again, dizzy and burning as each harsh snap of his hips pushed her higher still, churned the energies inside of her body as they roiled and danced and pressed up against her skin until she felt like she would explode, until she did, taking him with her.</p><p>The fluid heat was back, stronger, stinging her eyes with tears as it took her. She tensed and convulsed as he did above her, his arms tight, tightening still as he pressed himself deep and held her. She could feel his rounded head putting pressure against the mouth of her womb as his seed pulsed from him, strong waves of wet heat filling her over and over as she clenched, muscles squeezing and pulling as though swallowing great gulps of his essence as he gave it to her.</p><p>Lily's perception narrowed and focused as everything fell away to this moment of perfect pleasure and him, her entire body singing and melting into his. Constant tremors ran through her limbs and she felt as though she floated, as though the boundaries of their bodies dissolved and they were of one heaving flesh which spasmed and twisted in rapture. </p><p>Their voices rang out in a primal song of ecstasy as the energy inside of her coalesced, tightened slowly, pulling in from her fingers, toes and scalp. It compacted as it traveled up her limbs and down her spine, converged into a tight ball in her belly that faded to dull warmth and congestion as they throbbed and rocked together.</p><p>She did not know how long they stayed like that, how long it took both of their bodies to calm, for their contractions to cease. They were left in a haze, clouded by the most glorious togetherness as they laid twitching in the pool of blood, kissing softly, breath gradually evening. At a point she could see that his eyelids were heavy with more than a sensuous weight, that exhaustion was finding him swiftly in the aftermath of their rite as it was her, though he did seem more profoundly drained.</p><p>Lily looked to her sacrifice to find no movement, no blood left flowing from his wound, no wet breath creating bubbles at his throat. His skin was whiter than before, eyes still closed peacefully. It was done.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter is really long and also almost entirely sex even though it is one of the most important chapters in the story. I have come to accept that I write porn with a plot, it just can't be anything else with this pair. I hope this event lived up to the anticipation.</p><p>Also. Honestly, I'm in trouble and none of you are going to have any sympathy for me. I really, really thought that after this I might squeeze out a few more one shots and leave well enough alone, but... *sigh* </p><p>An idea for a sequel popped into my head with a very particular image for a scene that would require something really epic to justify it, which means it would have to be long... ugh.</p><p>One of these days I'm going to have to go back to work and will have less free time. Then again, the authors notes on my first couple of stories are like, "Yeah I dunno about sequels maybe a oneshot I'm real busy and shit."</p><p>...80k words later here we are. We'll see.</p><p>Xx</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Consequences Unforeseen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When the blood began to cool they stood in silence, steadying each other as they gained their feet. Lily was woozy but more concerned for her lord beside her, her arm around his waist. She felt somehow as though she were the one that supported him even as he held her upright against his side, her legs weak. She had never known him to shake so, had never seen him slump with such weariness before.</p><p>“I don’t want them to touch him,” she said suddenly, looking at the boy who had gifted his life to her. It had been agreed upon already where they would lay his body, he was to be buried in the field beyond her garden. He did not belong with the remains of her lord's oblations to his progenitors in the depression below his throne, nor did she want him tossed into the pit to decay as most bodies were left to do amongst the brethren. She wanted to visit him, plant a flowering tree over him for the sake of her own sentiment, sit beneath it with their child once they were born. </p><p>Lily had agreed to let others take him away once their rite had ended, had felt content to allow his burial by imps who could follow instruction and take care. For some reason now as she looked at his form, delicate and broken and looking so much younger than he had before, she could not bear the thought.</p><p>“He will decay if we leave him, I doubt we will wake for several nights,” he said quietly. “It is only death now, Lily. He is not there anymore.”</p><p>She sighed, knowing it was true but unable to dismiss the feeling. They were silent a beat before he seemed to come to a resolution, his posture straightening a little and hand lifting towards Albin's body. Lily watched his face tense, watched him strain for just a moment before placing her own hand against his arm to lower it, shocked by the effort it looked like he had been readying himself to expend. He was weaker than she realized and she suddenly felt guilty for her insistence. They both needed to rest.</p><p>“It's alright,” she said softly. “I'm sorry, let them do it.”</p><p>“Don't apologize,” he told her immediately, making her smile. It was a litany that he kept up whenever the words escaped her lips. He hated for her to apologize to anyone for anything, least of all him. She suspected it was reflex by now. </p><p>He raised his hand again and spoke a few words, the simplest of tasks to call his attendants. In moments a small contingent of monstrous creatures arrived, a familiar brute slinking in at the head. Ascaroth was trailed by two other imps, all with eyes stuck to the floor as they sank down into low crouching postures while passing their monarchs. She was gladdened to see him, relieved, suddenly feeling more at ease about Albin's care. She was aware that he was here at her lord's command, knowing as he did her favor.</p><p>Lily did not feel shy of their nudity in the presence of others today, had no thought to cover herself as she watched the imps lift the corpse gently, all three carrying it jointly over their heads in a strange but reverent way that seemed utterly appropriate to the moment. They all crouched again as they moved him out of the throne room, the smooth, uncanny reptile shuffle a sight native to this world that had never grown less foreign to witness.</p><p>The walk back to their private wing seemed longer than usual in their fatigue but the exertion of teleportation was not even suggested and Lily grew more concerned still as she witnessed him stumble more than once, a thing she had <em>never</em> seen in their years together, pausing to lay a hand against the wall as he steadied himself. She waited silently, keeping her arm around him just as his still pressed her tightly to his side. Though she did not feel his weight he did seem to anchor himself on her and she wondered truly if he might fall were she to step away.</p><p>Eventually they reached the bedchamber and Lily was glad to see that he had left the heavy doors open on their departure. She let him guide them towards the bed slowly, falling on it in a heap together without regard to the blood that covered them both. Limbs were shuffled and dragged fully to the mattress with effort, though Lily sat and watched in amazement as he struggled to lift his legs from the floor, assisting with the second one cautiously, leaning over him to grip his calf and help his hoof make it over the edge. Once they had settled, breath heavy, she leaned across his chest to look him over. </p><p>“Are you alright?” She asked quietly, observing his glazed eyes and the shaking that had yet to cease.</p><p>He hesitated to answer her, which filled her with an unease that she had not expected today. “I am unsure,” he rasped finally. “I have never felt such a thing. I am… emptier.”</p><p>“Emptier?” she whispered back, trying not to panic.</p><p>“<em>Mm</em>,” he groaned, shaking his head minutely. “Not emptier. Less… something. Less. Something is <em>gone</em>.” His eyes were closed now, breath slowing.</p><p>“Did you intend your shadows to enter the rite?” she asked, remembering that strange moment. They had moved most oddly, like smoke caught in a wind that rushed towards her rather than curling slowly in their usual pattern as they crept into her. </p><p>He shook his head again, eyes cracking open to meet her gaze. “I did not even realize it was happening until they were inside of you. We did not discuss it. Are you disturbed?”</p><p>“No, of course not, not a bit,” she was quick to assure him, placing a hand against his neck, thumb skimming his jaw, “but now I'm worried. You did say there may be a greater exchange of energy than what was planned for. I did not expect this.”</p><p>“Nor did I. They did not return. That is this sensation, it must be. The shadows that were pulled inside of you remain,” he said, his hand brushing her abdomen. She trapped his hand against her skin, clutching it tightly against her. </p><p>“You seem unwell,” she told him anxiously.</p><p>“It is very strange,” he said lowly, his eyes still hazy on her, “and it is frightening,” he admitted. </p><p>“Do you regret it?” Lily asked him, some invisible fist clenching around her heart as she awaited his answer.</p><p>“<em>Nay</em>,” he insisted fiercely, his hand pressing itself firmly to her belly now, eyes more alert than they had been since their ritual's end. The immediacy of his response eased her breath, relief causing her to gasp. “I give you <em>all</em> of myself, Lily. You may <em>have</em> my spirit, my soul, my flesh. You may have <em>all</em> of my shadows. I would give to you every last drop of the blood in my body, cut off my own arm if you required it, rend the very heart from my chest if you wished for a bite. <em>Never</em> question that you may take what you will from me and I will surrender it gladly.”</p><p>She gasped again, pressing her face against him. She did not know what to say back and so settled on climbing atop him, nuzzling her face into his neck while she stretched herself over his hulking frame and curled her limbs about him. He enfolded her in his own arms, eyes closing once more while she clung as tightly as she could.</p><p>“I would not ask such things of you,” she whispered finally.</p><p>“And yet I would give them,” he replied quietly, drifting off as he spoke.</p><p>He was asleep in a short few minutes but it took her a little longer, exhausted as she was. She prayed as her awareness dimmed that he would be alright once they awoke.</p>
<hr/><p>When she found consciousness again he was still sleeping, not having moved that she could tell. Lily sighed and touched his cheek, ran her fingers over the ridges on his brow affectionately. She watched him a long while though he did not stir, eventually just laying against him with her eyes closed. </p><p>It seemed to her that several hours passed before there was movement, but not from below her. A beating sound heralded the arrival of her familiar and Lily looked up to see the magpie swoop through the open door towards her. She smiled at the bird as she approached, dropping something shiny on the bed next to her before hopping to a free pillow.</p><p>“Thank you,” she whispered, picking up the single earring that was offered. The magpie often found little trinkets for her, scavenged or pilfered from here and there. Lily cherished the little gifts, kept them in a special dish on her vanity to appreciate. This one was a simple gold hook with a little dropped moonstone, dainty but in need of cleaning. She flicked her fingers and it found itself amongst the others, safely in the crystal dish.</p><p>The magpie chittered and hopped to the footboard, seemingly about to take off again. It was her habit to wander a bit, explore the many entrances and exits of the great tree, spend nights flying above or in one of the smaller and more peculiar worlds that could be found through less obvious hollows. She always came when called and often returned for short times but only stayed by Lily's side occasionally. </p><p>“Wait,” she said, “I have a task for you.” The bird stopped, her head turned towards her mistress. “Find Gump, request his presence for me. I must speak with him.” </p><p>The magpie squawked quietly and flapped a wing, blinking at Lily. </p><p>“Can you see it?” she asked her friend, wondering if the bird's eye would perceive this truth. “We completed the ritual. There is every indication that it was successful,” she said, hoping to find confirmation, though by what she had experienced and the state of her husband it did not seem likely that their rite had failed.</p><p>Another chitter was her answer and Lily grinned, hand on her belly again. “Go now, get Gump. I'll see you after.” Her familiar took off, exiting with a soft flutter.</p><p>Her smile dropped as she looked to her still sleeping lord, worry for him dampening her joy. She saw dried blood crusted on his skin, glancing down and swiping a hand over her own to find it quite covered as well. Her hair was crunchy too and moving her legs made her aware that they stuck to the sheets uncomfortably. They needed a bath when he woke and she hoped that it was soon, because she would not go without him and because she was desperate to see his eyes open clear and alert, hear him tell her that he was alright.</p><p>It was some time more before she got her wish, the change in his breathing prompting her to lift her head. His eyes opened slowly and he took a deep breath, looking at her sleepily but with a smile. “Such dreams to wake to,” he said groggily, a hand coming up to brush her matted hair aside.</p><p>Lily let out the breath she was holding unevenly. “How do you feel?” she asked him. </p><p>It took him a moment to answer, though all he said was, “Unusual.”</p><p>She nodded, willing to give him time. “We should bathe. Can you stand easily?”</p><p>He hummed, moving to make the attempt. Though he stood gingerly he did not seem to have difficulty, only looking slightly off balance for a moment before regaining his equilibrium. Lily stood with him, holding his arm though she doubted she could catch him if he fell.</p><p>It did not seem to be a concern. “My strength is undiminished,” he proclaimed, though he clenched and unclenched his fists a few times and shook his hands. “My limbs still feel…” he grunted a little as he flicked his fingers, shrugging. He stared for the bathing chamber, holding his arm out for her.</p><p>They entered the bathing pool slowly, settling against each other to allow the hot water to soak the flaking skin of dried blood which coated them. Lily dipped to wet her hair and face and then climbed into his lap as was their custom, turning to mount him face to face.</p><p>“I sent for Gump,” she told him, hand stroking down his chest just for the sake of touching him. “The magpie can see that the rite was successful.”</p><p>He chuckled, arm tightening around her under the water. “I had no doubts,” he declared.</p><p>“Neither did I,” she said honestly, “but I'm glad to have it confirmed.” </p><p>“And you?” he asked. “How do you feel now?”</p><p>“Fine. No different really, I think. Still a little worried for you.”</p><p>He sighed, leaning to kiss her. His lips were warm and gentle, swift reassurance that she very much needed. “I do still feel odd, but I believe I am well.”</p><p>“I hope so,” she said against his cheek, resting her lips there.</p><p>“There is something in the feeling that seems like… relief.” He said quietly. Lily looked up at him, waiting for him to go on. After a minute of thought he did. “Like there is less pressure inside of me, just by the most <em>miniscule</em> degree. It is disorienting, but it is not unpleasant.”</p><p>She stroked his face softly, taking note of the clear calm in his eyes. “I'm glad,” she whispered to him.</p><p>“I think,” he began again, hesitantly, unsure, “that I do not comprehend the sensation of being in <em>less</em> pain than I have always known. I think… that perhaps… today I am in… less… pain.”</p><p>Lily drew a hand to her mouth, her chest tightening and tears springing to her eyes immediately. She laughed, gasping, grabbing his face and tracing his sharp cheekbones with her thumbs. “Truly?” she asked hopefully. She did not ever think to hear him say such a thing. </p><p>He nodded though he still looked unsure and her arms wrapped around his neck tightly as she took several shaky breaths, overwhelmed at the thought that she might have done this for him. She knew well that any increment of relief had seemed a hopeless goal to him since time immemorial. </p><p>“And we are going to have a baby,” she choked out, astounded at their fortune, at the abundance of their joys.</p><p>His arms tightened around her as he made a contented noise in the back of his throat. “Impregnating you was the single most pleasurable experience of my lengthy existence,” he decided aloud. “Absolutely exceptional.”</p><p>She laughed, falling into giggles that she could not stem even as she spoke, all of her tensions and worries dissolving into happiness and excitement for things to come. “I cannot disagree,” she told him, thinking of the power that had flowed through her, the absolute bliss of their union in that moment. “It was quite a night.”</p><p>“It is a shame you did not want an audience. Our people would have enjoyed witnessing such an auspicious event. Perhaps next time.”</p><p>“I'm sure,” she laughed again, though it died down in a moment. “Maybe we should wait. Make sure you truly are fine before we consider a next time.”</p><p>He touched her face, trailing his fingers along the blood that had softened and liquefied in the humidity, smeared and diluted when she had risen from her dip. “I will give you what I have promised to give you,” he said simply. </p><p>“I don't want them at your expense. I just want to be sure.”</p><p>His eyes closed and he pulled his arms up, took a few moments to stretch out his limbs, roll his neck and spine before settling his grip back on her. They sat in silence a minute as Lily watched him slip into the same state that he occupied when he sat before his crystal. He did this to examine himself as she might glance at a foot if she caught something sharp or run her fingers along her scalp to find a bump or bruise, except that he examined the whole of Darkness in the worlds, stretched his shadows to observe his own spirit body for the dark energy that it was, the collective want and feeling that fed and comprised him.</p><p>“I have never looked inside of myself and found peace before,” he said softly, his eyes still closed though he was mostly back with her. “Not even this smallest of grains. It is scarcely more than a breath of quietude but it is so much more than I have ever hoped for. I have felt hope so few times. I feel it now, and that frightens me more than this change.” He looked at her finally, more starkly vulnerable than she had ever seen him though she had caught many glimpses of it in the past. “You bequeath to me the peace of the Mother. Though I have no right to it I desire more. Badly.”</p><p>Lily held his face and kissed him, pouring every bit of her love for him into it as he met her with the same ardor. She broke from him to speak only to return to his lips, unable to bring herself to pull away again, only nodding instead, pressing herself more tightly against his wet skin. </p><p>She could not say who moved or how their bodies shifted together, barely considered the sudden increase in sensation as they joined as anything more than the natural state of her flesh in that moment, barely considered that they became one as though they had never been separate to begin with. As they swayed and rocked in the water and basked in the pleasure of their love she let the world fall away, allowed him to be everything that existed as they reveled in their blessings.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I literally wrote an outline for another multi-chapter story. I can't freaking deal with myself omfg we're not even close to done with this one and I'm working like 500 chapters ahead on the next one wtf am I doing UGH.</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. In the Details</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lily sat at her dressing table, holding an opulently gilded comb. The gems set into the handle winked brightly at her from the mirror as she worked the mats carefully from her hair, growing frustrated. Sleeping as the blood had dried in her thick curls had tangled them horribly and washing them once she and her lord had finally separated had done little to help. </p><p>“Sometimes I feel like I should take a blade to this mop,” she mumbled as she caught a particularly difficult snarl.</p><p>He was behind her immediately, pulling the comb gently from her unresisting hands and setting it down on the table. She sighed as his fingers tickled her scalp for a moment, running downwards to the ends of her hair. A shiver ran down her spine as she felt the soft pull of him working tangles free with his claws. She <em>loved</em> it when he did this.</p><p>“If you absolutely must, give it to me after,” he requested, voice low.</p><p>“Alright,” she laughed a little. “Any particular reason?”</p><p>“Need I have a reason to keep your discarded body parts?” he asked. Lily laughed harder. </p><p>“I'd say it's a reasonable requirement,” she returned, though she had only been curious.</p><p>He leaned down to press his cheek to hers, meeting her eyes in the mirror. “It pleases me to touch it.” His lips left a slow kiss which she leaned into on her temple before he rose again. “And perhaps I will use it in a binding spell,” he teased. “Plait it ‘round my wrist and keep you in my clutches evermore, beholden to my carnal whims and helpless to resist me.” His claws were back to their task, delicately pulling the knots apart.</p><p>“Well now that just sounds like our life,” she giggled, leaning back in her chair and enjoying his touch. </p><p>“Yes, but in this version of it you cannot move farther than my own arm span away from me.”</p><p>“How about I just promise to always stay close instead?” Lily asked, tipping her head back to look at him.</p><p>He sighed, one hand sweeping across her brow and smoothing over her crown, staring down at her. “We are even further bound than we were before,” he murmured softly. “Spirit, flesh. Now in blood.”</p><p>Lily reached behind her to touch his hand, squeezing it before allowing him to continue combing through her hair. “You can’t escape me now,” she warned him with a fond smile, “you’ve got <em>responsibilities</em>.”</p><p>His chuckle was full and warm, sending heat through her as the gentle drag of his claws made her shudder. “Precious weight to bear,” he avowed. Within a few minutes his fingers were working more freely through her curls, his claws running along her scalp before he pulled them downwards though it took him another few minutes before he decided he was finished. </p><p>When his hands finally moved away he leaned past her to open a chest which was gilded like the comb and housed some of her jewels, sets and more delicate pieces that she liked to keep together. He pulled up a tray inside and she could guess what he reached below it to find. As she expected his hand emerged holding a diadem, finely wrought silver which came to a slight downward point at her brow and displayed a dangling ruby, pear shaped and large as her thumb nail. More rubies dripped from the metal around it, smaller and decreasing in size towards her temples. </p><p>Lily watched him part and lift her hair so that he could slip the band under it, settling it in the exact spot that best fit her, tugging her curls into elegant disarray around the dainty crown. The stones glistened like fresh blood streaking down her skin and she suspected that it was the exact reason he favored this piece, the reason he chose it today.</p><p>It pleased him to dress her occasionally. There were gowns and accoutrements that he especially liked to look at her in, gems that he had given her that he delighted to see against her skin. She treasured the way he doted upon her, the same sensual care that he took when he undressed her in his hands as he costumed her in finery, fingers lingering on her flesh teasingly before it was covered.</p><p>He dug into the chest again and pulled out two cuffs which matched the diadem, rubies dripping from the bands that he settled carefully above each of her elbows. When he finished she stood, looking at him appraisingly as she made a quick gesture, calling items from amongst his own possessions to her hands. Cuffs of a different sort appeared, though they matched as well. He bent at a crook of her finger, allowing her to snap them around his horns just above their curves. Rubies like her own dropped from the base of the cuffs, matching his skin precisely as the metal shone brilliantly against deep, gleaming ebony.</p><p>Next was an intricately crafted chain which she slung low around his hips over the furs that he wore- furs which emphasized his animal nature rather than detracting from it in conspicuous and intriguing contrast to the regal ornamentation. She fastened the ruby encrusted clasp, allowing the rest of the chain to dangle at his thigh, glinting as he moved. Lily placed a gentle kiss to his chest before he stood to his full height and she stepped back just to look at him, let herself admire his imposing presence in all of his strangeness and outlandish beauty, thrilling at the thought that she was mated to this wild and majestic creature, held a piece of him inside of her now to care for as it grew. </p><p>He offered his elbow and she took it, her hand sliding up the contoured muscles of his arm which bunched and hardened to steel as he felt her roving fingers. Lily chuckled lightly, squeezing at him more firmly and enjoying his little display. That she found his form pleasing was a source of <em>great</em> satisfaction to him and her wandering look or touch was often met with subtle flaunting of his strength or captivating but likely unnecessary stretching of his limbs and spine. She could not claim to mind it as she turned on impulse and stood on her toes to run her tongue across the deep groove in his bicep.</p><p>“My dear, you made quite a strong point earlier that you were hungry for <em>pastry</em>.”</p><p>“I am,” she answered jovially. “I only wanted a taste.” He laughed with her, the mood around them light and intimate as they traveled the corridor towards the dining hall. </p><p>Lily had no expectation that she would take her own seat today and was not surprised when he pulled her to his lap. Now of all moments she desired to share his space, keep this charmed togetherness that cocooned them whole and undisturbed. She glanced down at the gown he had dressed her in, a splendid profusion of sheer scarlet lace which mirrored his skin as exactly as the rubies, fitted from the deep plunge of the neckline to just below her hips where it flared across his knees, growing full around her legs and trailing several feet behind her when she walked. The matching slippers sat forgotten under her vanity.</p><p>“<em>That</em>,” Lily pointed to a savory pie which sat out of her reach. “Do you think anything in that had fingers once?” He leaned over it and pierced the crust with a claw, sniffing at the steam. He seemed ready to answer in the negative and then stopped to consider it a second time. “Never mind,” she dismissed quickly. “Just let me have it, I'm too hungry and too happy to care.”</p><p>He wasted no time in retrieving it for her and she wasted no time picking at the flaky top, wriggling cheerfully as she popped it into her mouth. The pie was hot and messy so she ate with a spoon, remembering when utensils were not <em>optional</em> at the table and etiquette would have demanded that she keep her fingers clean and occupy a lonely chair, allowing servants to serve as she sat upright under their watchful eyes, too aware of and all too accustomed to their assessment of her courtly manners.</p><p>This was <em>much</em> more fun. They preferred to be alone together and so they were, at liberty to have any discussion or behave in any manner they liked without listening ears and watching eyes. She did not imagine that another court would find it appropriate for her to eat with her fingers <em>or</em> for her to sweep a plate to the floor, climb to the tabletop and demand that her husband gorge himself upon her body instead. Here it was standard fare for luncheon. </p><p>Today, however, they were both in need of food. She was ravenous in her own right but he ate so heavily that at a point he outright traded their plate for the entire gargantuan pie dish.</p><p>“Do you plan to eat this entire thing?” She asked, picking at more of the buttery pastry. </p><p>“Of course not,” he answered, “you are also eating it.”</p><p>“This tin is a small bathtub,” she pointed out.</p><p>“And I am <em>extremely</em> hungry.”</p><p>She sighed contentedly, stabbing her spoon right into the middle of the remaining crust and leaving it there to touch his face a moment. “So am I,” she told him with a smile, tipping her face upwards for a brief kiss. She turned back to their meal and retrieved a bite from where her spoon had landed, eating directly from the serving dish. Lily doubted another court would have considered <em>this</em> appropriate, either. She laughed at the thought, laughed just because it was in her chest and felt nice bubbling out.</p><p>“When we're done here what would you like to do?” she asked him.</p><p>“I should sit at my crystal, get a better sense of things. I still cannot place what exactly is missing. There are places that are… numb, perhaps. Dim. Points that I cannot see or feel clearly. Something physical with a great deal of movement which makes it difficult to assess, and something else, dapples of energy which touch envy and resentment.” He grunted, dismissing it for the time being.  “I care not for the moment, all I wish now is to sit with you and enjoy its absence.” </p><p>She watched him devour the pie, thinking aloud. “Perhaps I'll conjure up a little storm while you do. Just a small thing, play a bit with the lightning and get rid of the last of this worry.”</p><p>“Why such trouble dismissing it?” he asked her, reaching for a glass of dark wine.</p><p>“I was terrified for you,” she said quietly, a little surprised that he would even ask. “I can't even remember the last time I was so scared.” </p><p>He took a moment to kiss the top of her head consolingly before he spoke against her hair. “Was it when you were still terrified <em>of</em> me?” he asked hopefully.</p><p>She laughed a bit, but it was less cheerful than it had been. “Not even then.”</p><p>There was silence a moment between them. “I suppose it is a trauma of sorts,” he said lowly. “A piece of my body was removed unexpectedly. Had I expected it to happen I might have expected it to have some physical repercussion, though I have certainly never lost a piece of my spirit before.”</p><p>“<em>Exactly</em>. That's why the worry is so hard to dismiss.”</p><p>He kissed her head again before he spoke, the suddenly somber note to their mood lifting slowly. “Well storm away, my Witch Queen, my Dark Lady who wields such tantalizing power,” he nuzzled her hair, finding her temple across which the diadem sat and kissing the band and the skin surrounding it. “You are quite magnificent in <em>every</em> way,” he breathed against her.</p><p>“So hungry for my pride,” she observed, her spoon back to searching out bits of tender marinated flesh of <em>some</em> kind.</p><p>“Always,” he promised. “I will ever be desirous that you are prideful of your talents and your <em>exquisite</em> beauty. I want you gluttonous for every pleasure so that I might feed your appetites, greedy for everything anyone has <em>ever</em> told you that you should not want so that I may be the one to give it to you. You are entitled to all of it, entitled to worship and possessed of grander charms than I can extol before the universe crumbles around us. When you accept that fact I will rejoice.”</p><p>Her laughter now was more relaxed, taking pleasure in his praises. When he offered her his glass she hesitated. “I was always told women with child should water their wine,” she said consideringly.</p><p>“Told by mortals, to be observed by mortal women who carry mortal children. It is very unlikely that anything you do will harm the fetus,” he postulated.</p><p>“Well, unlikely isn't good enough for me. I’ll wait until the midwife tells us for sure.”</p><p>“A mother's prerogative,” he said lightly, finding her a glass of clear water instead. </p><p>He did clear the pie dish, and a tray or two of succulent fruit besides. Lily herself pulled at a few grapes and a red jelly that was a favorite of his and as such always seemed to grace their table, though she had never pinned their flavor and never asked him, determined to suss it out herself at some point. They were sweet and tangy with an undercurrent of something warm that she had been at a loss to identify until recently. </p><p>“Are these made with blood? Have I been eating blood this <em>entire</em> time?” She asked incredulously.</p><p>“And pomegranate,” he responded, leaning to take a bite directly from her dessert. </p><p>”You never thought to say so?” she asked, though she wasn’t terribly concerned now.</p><p>“It is only lamb's blood, I did not think you would fret,” he leaned back in the chair, appetite finally sated for the time being. She decided that it truly didn’t matter and finished her little confection quietly as he watched.</p><p>When they were both through they meandered to the workroom, settling into their respective routines. Lily brought out a bowl and filled it with water to scry, setting it on the floor inside of the space where she would cast her circle. After much time and practice she had honed this particular spell and it had become one of her favorites, creating the storm now simple enough that she could do it with ease and direct the crash of thunder, paint the sky in vibrant colors as lightning struck at her will. It was a favorite for many reasons- the heady rush of power at doing something so grandiose as manipulating the very weather, the pleasure in her well-learned skill and control over the ritual, the sheer playful joy of creative expression, the look in her lord's eye as he watched her and considered all of these things with pride of his own and the lust that she ever provoked.</p><p>Before she began she was interested in his more detailed evaluation of the changes in his spirit and told him so, waiting as he sank into himself while holding the globe.</p><p>“Firstly, whatever the physical element, it is something in the waters. A fish... trout. The shadows of trout are less visible, but when I focus I can still feel them.” His eyes opened and fixed upon her, his look dry as he considered the information. “<em>Trout</em>, of all things?”</p><p>Lily giggled, clapping her hands excitedly. “Albin was a fisherman!” She told him through her mirth, immediately alert to connections as she had learned that magic tended to make. “I know the river which runs past his hometown, it's the largest in the province. I'm sure he fished trout. Perhaps only trout, they are very abundant there.”</p><p>He hummed in thought as his eyes slipped closed again and Lily waited calmly though she was anxious to hear what else he would find, only a light tapping on her lace clad thigh exposing her nerves. Finally he emerged again, this time with a chuckle of his own. </p><p>“Considering the trout as a hallmark of the boy's life, the rest of it makes a good deal of sense. There is detachment from a very particular despair which provokes sins motivated by love. Again I can see it with focus, but I am numb to the grief of many humans whose lovers have been unfaithful. I am sure of it now. This is all so very strange,” he concluded as he met her eyes again. “Perhaps the sacrifice of trout will bring power to our child, just as it would to me, as the blood lily does to you.”</p><p>“Oddly specific,” she commented.</p><p>He shrugged. “It is only a symbol with energy to direct. The key in the tribute is not in the sacrifice but in what it means to the practitioner. If our progeny were ever to amass a cult the trout might become an honored symbol and generate a goodly amount of power in sacrifice.” He paused a moment as he seemed to think on the possibility. “It would make me <em>very</em> proud,” he declared, lopsided grin turning a bit devious as he ruminated on it. </p><p>Lily laughed again, delighted, returning to her own task, considering what kinds of liberties she felt like taking today. “I wonder who the last person was to use the phrase, ‘may lightning strike me down,’ and then tell a fib. My father's chamberlain used to say it all the time because people would accuse him of lying. I'm sure at least half the time he was,” she said distractedly, squinting into her bowl. “He also used to stare at me in a manner that made me <em>very</em> uncomfortable when I was quite young,” she added. </p><p>He grunted. “He may well be in the pit if he has not already been harvested.”</p><p>“You think he was that bad?” she asked, a little shocked.</p><p>“I hear a story between your words that tells me so.”</p><p>“I have no other story that concerns him.”</p><p>“Not yours, another's. I shall see if I can find him, for the sake of your curiosity.”</p><p>“You don't need to do that,” she laughed, amused and touched by his eagerness to anticipate her whims.</p><p>“I <em>do</em>,” he insisted. “If I do not, watch, you will think back on it again and again until you beg me to do it anyway.”</p><p>“<em>Fine</em>,” she huffed, grinning, gratified at the way he knew all of her little idiosyncrasies. </p><p>Lily returned to her storm, content.</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. A Friendly Request</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Gump came several nights later they lounged together on a large divan before the central fireplace of the great hall speaking quietly as she picked through a dish of cherries. Her lord's appetite had tapered to normalcy but hers had only seemed to grow.</p><p>She was not bothered by Gump's slowness to appear, though her husband had very little patience for anyone but herself and growled in annoyance when the elven head popped into view from around the massive door. In fact Lily made special point of <em>not</em> demanding his immediate attention, her relationship with the fay was kept deliberately casual so that no lines of authority were perceived to be tempted. She held a great deal of power these days and did not want him to think that she sought to overextend it.</p><p>Gump did still show deference out of respect to her position and bowed before approaching though the Dark Lord was not used to being made to wait and sat glowering behind her. Lily subtly elbowed him but his expression only softened marginally. He was not overly fond of Gump under any circumstances.</p><p>“Hello, Gump,” she said pleasantly once she had swallowed her mouthful of cherry flesh. She spat the pit away from them, tilting her head upwards to send it soaring. It bounced against the stone until it settled among a scattered patch of its fellows as they watched. “Cherry?” she offered when his eyes returned to her, holding out her bowl.</p><p>His face brightened as he skipped forward to claim one, huge and plump, black skin gleaming. “A rare and marvelous treat indeed, fruit of the Endless Night,” he said before tossing it into the air and catching it in his mouth. It bulged in his cheek as he spoke again. “Your generosity is met with gratitude, Night Lily.” She was quiet a moment, watching him look her over as he chewed, unable to completely suppress her grin. Gump had instinctual knowledge of many things and she had not yet found a truth which her familiar could detect and he could not. “And it is a time of celebration. One and one make three,” he spat his own pit into the air and caught it with a cheerful snap to his movement, tucking it carefully into his little purse.</p><p>“Something like that,” she said brightly. “Have another.” Again she extended the bowl and he accepted, this time popping it into his mouth directly.</p><p>He shrugged playfully, batting his eyes at her. It looked like he knew the requirements of this act and was not terribly surprised by her willingness to meet them. Lily was aware that Gump himself had executed more than one human for crimes as he saw them, upsetting the trees or stumbling into toadstool rings. He was law in the wood and fairies could be cruel, indeed.</p><p>“A formal congratulations from me and the forest, to you and His Lordship,” he said, bowing his head for a moment in her husbands direction, eyes still on her. Gump rarely seemed nervous when he faced them both anymore but he still tended to only address and look at her. Lily was not surprised that he did so now as she glanced up to find her lord unmoved, his scowl fixed and his eyes burning into the diminutive sprite. She sighed with a touch of exasperation. </p><p>“<em>Thank you</em>, Gump,” she said emphatically, elbowing the ribs behind her a second time. He growled again but it was less menace, more concession. His face relaxed but the intensity of his gaze did not waver and she patted his thigh. She could not generally ask for more unless he ignored their guest entirely. He was not overly fond of <em>most</em> people under any circumstances.</p><p>“In the spirit of celebration I wonder, might you be feeling generous enough to part with those pits?” He asked, tilting his head towards the scattered pile she had made a few yards away.</p><p>She laughed. “You may have every last one. Whatever do you want them for? They will not grow above.”</p><p>“Useful things, in craft and trade. I know many a witch and fay who'd pay a high price for a pit from a cherry grown beneath the great tree. They do with it what they like,” he said, already scooping them up in handfuls and dropping them into his purse.</p><p>“Then my refuse is your coin. Consider it payment for the favor you are about to do me,” she told him with a sly smile, watching as he froze, his eyes suddenly large on her. Another tenant of their careful friendship was reciprocity, given but not demanded. Trades were negotiated up front. “Relax, Gump. It is a glad thing and you can have the pits even if you refuse it.” His relief as he finished gathering the pits caused her to chuckle.</p><p>“But of course the Gump lends his service when he can,” he said, his mirth quickly recovered. “What boon does the Lily of the Night seek?”</p><p>“Help finding a midwife. Someone trustworthy and experienced with children of Night.”</p><p>“Ah,” he nodded, “something my kin are called upon for frequently. I know that midwives are not common below, even my own dark cousins nest like goblins and imps and drop their broods in isolation. I can do this favor for you, but I don't know many a midwife who has catered to dark creatures. It will take some searching and many inquiring whisperers.”</p><p>“Let them whisper. I am glad for <em>anyone</em> to know and I must have this. I will not do with a midwife who cannot answer my questions.”</p><p>“A fair demand. I'll see to it,” he winked, flicking his nose. “Have all requests and conditions been exchanged betwixt friends?” he queried, brows raised and head tilted.</p><p>“I do believe so,” she responded, tossing him another cherry. He ducked and caught it in his mouth, keeping it for a moment between his lips as he held an amusingly awkward pose, tipped in such a way that it looked as though he should fall over. Lily giggled at him and he reanimated, sucking the cherry into his mouth and sweeping himself into a twirling bow before he bounded quickly away.</p><p>“Thank you for being pleasant to him,” she said, dropping a kiss to her lord's shoulder.</p><p>“<em>Pleasant</em>?” </p><p>“For being not too <em>un</em>pleasant. Don’t worry, no one besides me could ever accuse you of being anything so disquieting as <em>congenial</em>.”</p><p>“First I am pleasant, now you find me congenial?” he asked her, a disgusted curl to his lip.</p><p>“<em>I know your secrets</em>,” she answered sotto voce, her conspiratorial tone ruined by the laughter in it. </p><p>“The sheer <em>insolence</em>,” he muttered, rolling his eyes and relaxing his neck. </p><p>A few more minutes she ate her cherries happily draped across him before he tensed. When she looked up his face was deceivingly neutral and Lily was immediately suspicious. She watched him closely as he sat unmoving until his eyes hooded briefly, almost a slow blink, and a muscle jumped in his upper lip. He shifted on the cushion just a touch as though uncomfortable, hands tightening on her a fraction as he moved. As soon as she reached back and laid a hand against him he settled and relaxed as though nothing had occurred. His control was immense and it had taken her many years to realize that every once in a while these little moments of discomfort were not precisely <em>physical</em>. </p><p>He most often described it to her as pressure. How much pressure built inside of him had much to do with his borders, both how much room he had to stretch before the light found the edges of his shadows and how strongly they pushed against one another. He pressed against his boundaries restlessly, the scald of each point of contact with the light lingering against him like a wound that he could not dress, a burn that he could not remove from the fire to tend, the very same wound his father bore preceding his own birth. If driven too far back his shadows had little place to go and all of the desperation and rage that were the contents of his spirit just built up unpleasantly in the space to which he was relegated. He could do nothing for it but continue to fight, continue collect power and feed his shadows, strengthen them to seek more room for himself in the middle worlds. </p><p>There was relief in the touch of her soft fingers and the crowding of his senses with pleasures to drown out the wild need and the endless searing pain, but she was no outlet for his rage. He held it stoically with rare exception, very keen not to display his temper to her but exceedingly quick to anger with others, reactions to small irritation often extreme and disproportionate. Particularly violent fits of passion would pacify him for a time but could only stave off his bloodlust so long.</p><p>“You're neglecting the pit,” she said. Lily had learned to watch him for these little behaviors, finding as she came to know his habits and how they had changed since meeting her that he did not always go down as frequently as he should for his own comfort. For some time his wrath had been his only outlet and though the pit was an ideal place to express it and he was always much refreshed when he returned he sometimes now seemed to avoid it.  “You should go down.”</p><p>“Nay,” he sighed, “I would not leave you today. Your lips are balm enough to sooth me.” He leaned down, claiming a long, languid kiss.</p><p>“But that new peace is not,” she added after, a little disappointed.</p><p>He looked into her eyes, still close. “It is too much to ask on behalf of such a heavy burden.” His fingers stroked down her face to end tucked under her chin. “But it is easier to let it pass.” Another kiss was placed on her open lips, sweet as ripe berries and fresh honey.</p><p>“Perhaps that is enough for now.”</p><p>“It is an unexpected gift. More than enough,” he returned.</p><p>“Why do you resist it?”</p><p>His sigh was heavy as his head tipped back onto a plush, elaborately embroidered cushion. “I do crave to rip flesh from bone, but occasionally it is a struggle to leave you. It is a struggle now.” His hand came up to trace her jaw and touch her bottom lip softly. “I cannot help feeling that I will turn my back and find you gone when I return. I still cannot dismiss the idea of our entire life together as just a figment of my own tortured fabrication as I drive myself mad in the emptiness that I did not notice was so deep until I saw that you could fill it.” </p><p>Lily laid her head against him, savoring his warmth. “But I am here and I am not a figment, and I will be here still when you come back.” He only grunted at her. “As much as I would prefer to sew myself to your hip, it will do us no harm to spend a few hours in separate rooms.” Lily winced. She really wouldn’t <em>like</em> to, but needs must.</p><p>“Were our bodies physically attached I doubt it would be at the <em>hip</em>,” he postulated and she snorted while retaining her laughter.</p><p>“Too true,” she agreed, heaving a long, amused sigh. “You should go now,” she suggested again, met only with another grunt. “Alright, but you will go <em>soon</em>,” she insisted.</p><p>“I will go <em>soon</em>,” he conceded. “Insolent wench.”</p><p>“Wicked brute,” she tossed back, considering the ways in which she <em>could</em> relieve him. She was rewarded with a lopsided grin that pleased her but when she laid her bowl aside and turned towards him, hands to his chest, the tilt to his lips turned salacious and that pleased her more. </p><p>She kissed his dark mouth only briefly, keeping him down with a gentle hand when he began to follow as she rose. Lily straddled one of his thighs, taking his hands from her ribs and directing them to grip the frame above his shoulders instead. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment as his fingers curled around the finely carved wood, knowing that this was her request for him to keep them out of her way. </p><p>A muscle in his jaw jumped as he gritted his teeth, already straining to keep still. His natural temperament was profoundly dominant but there were times that he very much seemed to desire relinquishing control to her, and times like now when <em>she</em> felt that he needed to do it. Regardless of his need, his want, it was not an easy thing for him. It was her thought that the difficulty of it was especially distracting, this struggle a sweet one to help distance him from the bitter. </p><p>Lily undid a heavy buckle which rested over one of his hips, a curiously lovely thing made from the skull of a large snake, bronze finishing the head and lining fangs which hooked and served as a clasp and faceted jet in its eyes. Two more rested on his shoulders where they met a fringed cape, same as the material that she peeled away from him now. His other leg was bowed out, knee bent and creating the comfortable little spot in which she had been resting through Gump's visit. He remained as he was, watching quietly as she exposed him.</p><p>She did not waste any time in taking him between her lips, her first goal only something that she could accomplish if she caught him before he was fully aroused, the earlier the better. Lily collected the wetness in her mouth and saturated him with it immediately then took as much of him as she could, much more than she would be able to if she waited any longer. She relaxed her throat and swallowed softly, pressing herself down onto him, listening to his raspy breath as she swallowed more of him, almost, <em>almost</em> taking his full length. </p><p>The wood groaned as he tightened his grip in his effort and she clenched at the jump of his thigh beneath her, wriggling around until she could rub herself against him firmly through their clothing. He stiffened quickly as she held him, forcing her jaw wider while she pressed just that <em>little</em> bit further down, swallowing around him again, this time with more difficulty. He moaned low in his chest and his hips shifted in short, rocking thrusts as she held still, enjoying his slight loss of control and the sensation of his thick heat sliding down her throat, the fullness of her mouth, the satisfaction of taking so much of him and pleasing him in this way.</p><p>She began moving with him, lifting and stroking in opposing direction, gripping his hips tightly, digging her nails into his skin. The noises he made as she continued to swallow him were as restrained as his movements, strangled, groaning breaths and low moans. As managing her breathing became more difficult and her throat began to ache she took him as deeply as she could, holding him steady while he twitched and rocked, desperate to keep him just a little longer. </p><p>Finally she could manage no more and pulled up, gasping, eyes stinging. His hands left the frame and he reached for her but she smacked one away, just pointing behind him again as she still could not speak. He let out a frustrated breath but reached back up, staring at her impatiently. Lily removed her dress and tossed it somewhere behind her before returning to him, her breath calmer. She pulled the material from his legs as well, carelessly letting it join her gown.</p><p>On her knees she bent slowly, arching her back and watching as his eyes flicked first towards her chest and then behind her as she lowered herself further and the curve of her backside came into his view. She rested her cheek against his inner thigh, nuzzling at his hot skin and taking in his masculine scent, watching the gleam of his slick sex as it jumped when she nipped the flesh just beside it. She mouthed his base, hand moving to grip him lightly and he was looking again at her face, watching her lips press against his crimson skin in a loving kiss.</p><p>She moved again so that she could grind her own eager womanhood against his smooth thigh, still kissing him. Her tongue began darting out to wrap around him, her wet mouth moving upwards as she held his eyes, hoping that he saw her desire to pleasure him, to care for him, to meet any need she could. He watched intently as she flicked her tongue against his head and wrapped her lips gently around him, sucking as she pulled up and released him, returning to do it over and over again, slowly, teasingly. </p><p>There was a thrilling surge as he hardened further, her hand around his base and her lips around his head tingling with the heat as his blood rushed towards her. She was met with a sudden salty flavor that told her she was closing in on her prize, could find it with a bit of persistence. </p><p>Both hands moved to grip him one over the other as she began stroking him slowly but firmly, her mouth following, sucking and letting his tip dip to the back of her throat on each downward plunge. He moaned loudly and his hips rolled, the frame of the divan creaking again as he watched her and fought to keep still while she pumped him more quickly, sucking harder as she pulled up.</p><p>All at once he groaned and his body went taught, strung tight as his hips lifted an inch and his hot desire shot into her waiting mouth, thick and sweet, pulsating on her tongue as she struggled to consume him, swallow him in desperate gulps while he melted down her throat. When the flood of his seed came more quickly than she could accept it and it spilled from her lips to drip down the sides of his shaft he groaned again and she looked up, meeting his bleary gaze as the last of his bliss spurted from him.</p><p>His breath was harsh as she saw him relax, head dropping back though his eyes remained on her. Unhurriedly Lily swiped her tongue upwards to collect the stray drips, treating him with tenderness as he came down, feeling rather proud of herself. When he finally closed his eyes, sighing deeply and contentedly, she remained where she was lavishing him with soft touches and kisses, both of them enjoying the closeness. His hands lowered, one resting across his belly and the other stroking her hair as gently as she still stroked him.</p><p>“Do you know what I've been considering?” she asked him quietly, tongue swiping the side of his shaft lightly, lips pressing against him after.</p><p>“Hmm?” he managed, seeming quite distracted by her gentle attentions.</p><p>“I think I am ready to partake in <em>your</em> offerings,” Lily told him slowly. “At least I'd like to be present for one to see how I feel about it.”</p><p>He became more alert then, eyes lighting up at her words, a slow grin stretching itself across his face. “But you think you will <em>partake</em>?” he confirmed, hanging on her response.</p><p>She nodded, thinking over her conclusions. “I really, <em>really</em> thought that human sacrifice was a line that I could not cross, that it would be unbearable in one way or another.” She shrugged. “It is not so. I might object if you were sacrificing infants, but I have little sympathy for those in the pit and I have seen you kill many times now. Perhaps it is time. And maybe… <em>maybe</em>… one of these days I will feel comfortable enough to go to the pit <em>with</em> you.”</p><p>He stared at her, his breath picking up again. He knew that she had no appetite for torture. The thing that he wanted most from <em>her</em> in the pit was the intersection of all of his lusts, to spill blood and then take her in it like she had so recently done to him except amidst the chaos and gore of his own personal playground, surrounded by accumulating power and their subjects who would undoubtedly look on and hiss in acknowledgement of their king's conquests and glory. Carnal indulgence was certainly not uncommonly seen in the pit, but Lily had never allowed it. </p><p>“My queen,” he breathed in awe, shaking his head slightly. “Is there no yearning I can put forth that you will not meet?”</p><p>He moved and Lily was on her back, wrapping her arms around his neck as he settled between her thighs. She considered his question, wondering if there was anything that she would not do for him now. Perhaps there wasn't.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. To Sit in Pleasant Suspense</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lily turned into her pillow, breathing deeply, settling back into a light doze. Though it had taken a few more days- or at least she <em>thought</em> so, now that she no longer needed her hourglass she was back to not keeping track and not particularly caring- her lord had finally wandered down to the pit and she had decided that a nap sounded like the most prudent way to pass time in his absence. She had been very tired recently, tired enough that sleeping without him wasn't too much difficulty, especially when the linens smelled like his skin.</p><p>A noise from the slightly open door of the bathing chamber distracted her as she was about the drift off again and she lifted her head, listening and finding the faint movement of water. She smiled in anticipation, knowing the mood that her husband would likely present once he was through with his bath. Through her recent fatigue she had also been feeling rather needy for him, more so than usual which was surprising to herself as she did not realize it was possible. A tantalizing thought occurred to her and she sat up, crawling to the far side of the bed and flopping onto her belly, reaching down to grope for something beneath it. </p><p>Triumphantly she pulled up a length of thick silken rope, one of many tied to various supportive pieces of the frame below. Lily dropped it onto the mattress and pulled one from the opposite side which faced the door of the bathing chamber, kneeling in the middle of the large bed and reaching behind her to tie her ankles into a neat bow with quick, practiced movements. A touch of magic helped bind her wrists in the same manner as she stretched her arms in front of her, resting her face against them with her back arched, hips raised in thoroughly unsubtle offering.</p><p>Lily took a deep breath and let her eyes fall closed, wondering how long she might wait, listening to him move about unawares in the next room. Her toes wriggled as she sat thinking of the moment his hands would touch her, considering how her heart might jump at the dip of the bed or a tug on the rope. She wondered if he would speak when he saw her, if he would make some rough noise that made her shiver or stay silent, wondered if his skin would still be wet when she finally felt the brush of his thighs.</p><p>He would appreciate her presentation, was very fond of her binding <em>herself</em> for his enjoyment and displaying such enthusiastic submission. In this moment as he was surely riding the highs of his more violent indulgences she guessed that he might be in a mood to revel in his own sense of power and she was <em>thoroughly</em> excited to let him indulge this also. Indeed as she sat in this pose and thought on all of these things she found her thighs pressing together, rubbing, hips shifting just a little as her inner muscles twitched. </p><p>She moaned quietly, imagining his tongue on her, thinking of his hands in her hair and the way his lips felt at her throat, thinking of the sheen of his skin by a low flame and his claws on her legs and the sound of his voice every time she sank her teeth into his shoulder, the heat and movement of him inside of her. Her thighs tensed and as she moved her hips again she felt the moisture that gathered, felt how open she was, realized how her flesh was throbbing.</p><p>It seemed like he was taking a <em>very</em> long time in the bath.</p><p>As she thought it she heard a different noise, a soft <em>clomp</em> like hoof and stone and a last splash before the sounds of water ceased. She readjusted herself, lifted and stretched her back a moment before settling with happy impatience. After another long minute she heard the soft rush of the door widening and his steps which grew louder before he seemed to stop abruptly. Lily smiled and bit her lip, keeping her eyes closed.</p><p>“My lady offers the sweetest gifts ever laid before me, one after another,” he murmured, closer than she had expected. Though she had not heard him move again he was at the bedside and her heart <em>did</em> speed quite dramatically as she felt a gentle tug from the rope at her ankles. “All prettily wrapped in tidy bows, and <em>this</em>…” her sex clenched at movement on the bed and he made a smug, lustful noise as she felt the soft brush of a knuckle at her exposed core, “so thoughtfully prepared for me also.”</p><p>Lily was shocked and delighted when he took hold of her, hands wrapped around her tense upper thighs as his thumbs reached to spread her lips and his stiff heat entered her all at once. She cried out as he took her with long, quick strokes, the slap of their skin loud in the room. In just a few minutes he pressed against her and she felt the pulse of his completion, aware that she was close behind and would only require the slightest pressure from his hand or a few firmer thrusts of his hips before she joined him, eagerly anticipating his next movement. </p><p>She cried out again but now in protest as he pulled out of her, her twitching flesh reaching hungrily for him as her hips tried to rock back to follow but his hands kept her in place. Her eyes squeezed tighter as she struggled to keep still when he moved, crawling across the bed to the other side and taking hold of her face, raising her up for a slow kiss. She sighed and kept her eyes closed as he pulled away and kept moving, seating himself before her with his legs bent. </p><p>He held down the rope on her wrists with his shin and helped her rise, hands slipping into her hair as she looked at him, her first sight his rigid sex and her second his burning gaze as he pulled at her hair, angling her head to find her eyes. He stayed a moment like this and so she smiled and then opened her mouth wide in invitation, stretching her tongue as though she might reach him. He let out a harsh breath and slipped himself into her mouth, his eager rhythm and the taste of their mingled passion leaving her breathless though his thrusts were shallow. </p><p>When he pulled away she panted heavily, the wetness of her mouth clinging to him in strands. She moaned as he bent to kiss her again, her hands still trapped against the bed and his still tickling against her scalp as his tongue now stole her breath. His kisses began fiercely and slowed to tender nips and licks to her soft lips as she whimpered. As he pulled away to look at her with dilated eyes her brow furrowed and her hips raised and lowered a little, swayed restlessly as she shifted in place, tense and shaking.</p><p>“How many times do you suppose I can do that before you can no longer retain your ecstasy, my love?” he asked and she moaned loudly, her core clenching emptily. “I'd say not many, by the look of you. Shall we find out?” Lily moaned again more pitifully and nodded, willing to do whatever he liked and eager for every sweet torture he could devise. “Sweet lady, hold yourself together for me. Do not let go until I wrench it from you.” He kissed her once more softly before pulling back to position himself behind her again.</p><p>He reached down and slapped his fingers gently against her swollen bud a few times, chuckling lowly as she jumped and squeaked, waiting with his hands on her lower back until she stilled again. Once her squirming had mostly calmed he pressed back inside of her, moaning with her as he started his quick thrusts again, working himself steadily towards another peak as she struggled to withhold hers. Just as she started to feel her hold slipping his hips stuttered and he held her close again, filling her a second time with his fluid heat. </p><p>Lily gasped as the sensation tempted her body to clench and tighten and fly apart, gasped again and sobbed once when he left and she felt the hot spill of his essence from her, felt it drip down her thighs. She moaned at that and tightened her muscles, thought to keep it and cherish it while he occupied other areas of her body and her aching sex waited longingly for his attention. </p><p>Again he was at her mouth, slick and hot as he pressed inside, removing himself completely every time he pulled back before plunging in again, watching her lips stretch around his girth. Lily blinked hazily, leaning forward at his retreat, wishing he would stay inside of her body <em>somehow</em>, trying to use suction to keep him. </p><p>When he stopped just to stare at her holding him in her mouth she pushed forward, tried to take more of him but he pulled away when she did, running his hands down her back and grabbing at her smooth skin. When he finally made his way behind her again and pressed inside of her slowly, pausing as their hips met she whimpered, “<em>Please</em>,” softly, but he <em>tsked</em> at her and snapped his hips before answering.</p><p>“Not yet.”</p><p>She made a loud stuttering noise as he kept up his steady pace, fast but not fast <em>enough</em>, hard but <em>not hard enough</em> as she cried out and her body shuddered, straining towards and against the bliss that he held so maddeningly out of reach. He sped just a bit and then held her as he groaned and released inside of her again and she heaved great breaths and keened as though weeping, her entire body tingling and begging for him to take pity. </p><p>“Please, <em>please</em>, oh <em>please</em>,” she chanted into the seam of her arms, shaking her head, her toes curled tightly.</p><p>He sighed, hands drifting lightly over her hips and back, tracing her quivering shoulder blades. One moved to her belly and then lower, making her cry out sharply as he pinched her needy pearl, keeping it between his fingers as he stroked her in firm circles, driving into her suddenly and fiercely and making her shriek as she melted and fell apart, pulling at both ropes as she seized. </p><p>It was blinding, dizzying, burning through all of her muscles as they tightened and convulsed, beautiful, ecstatic insensibility. He held her to him tightly and continued to stroke her with his hand until she was still again, limp in front of him with only his hands keeping her up, breathing heavily. Her body felt light and loose and pleasantly warm, her head fuzzy and dim. </p><p>Lily relaxed as he moved her about, closed her eyes again and enjoyed his care as he leaned forward and her back met his chest until her hands were freed, whimpered sadly but incoherently as he pulled out of her to untie her ankles, tickling her toes first and making her jump with a whiny laugh. As she lost his support she toppled to the bed and he chuckled, arranging her limbs until he could wrap her around him as he laid his cheek to her ribs, horn dipping at her side. She put a hand to his forehead, her legs weakly settled around his torso.</p><p>“I can barely feel my toes,” she mentioned drowsily.</p><p>“<em>Precisely</em> the idea,” he purred at her contentedly, one large hand skimming up her side. </p><p>Lily almost fell back to sleep, so very comfortable and thoroughly sated, but he moved to sit and she watched him. She slowly came back to the room feeling more energized after her nap and now that this flood of release had dissipated into a warm afterglow, leaving her with a smile and a sudden craving for something sweet to drink.</p><p>“Dearest?” she said softly, a slightly cajoling note to her voice.</p><p>“<em>Yes</em>?” he asked, staring at her expectantly with a raised brow, familiar with this tone of hers.</p><p>“You've made me very thirsty and now the baby wants <em>blueberry juice</em>.”</p><p>“<em>Ah</em>,” he responded. The tone she used was not new, in fact she had learned quite early that he would leap to fulfill requests made in this soft voice that was only for him, the same voice with which she asked for his kisses. The recent difference in these requests of course was that she had taken to speaking for both herself and the tiny life that did not yet make itself known in many ways other than it's persistent fatigue and hunger.</p><p>He twirled his fingers to summon a goblet and she sat and reached for it but he held up a finger and stared into the cup a minute. She waited patiently and watched him close his left eye briefly, a habit of concentration that popped up when he was doing something small that required detail, then blew at the goblet before he handed it over.</p><p>Lily gulped at the juice, cool and refreshing, downing nearly the whole glass before stopping to take a breath and make a satisfied noise. She finished it off and held it out again, hopeful that he would refill it. She might do these things herself if she <em>knew</em> how to get any blueberry juice, but she didn't and he did. Besides that they both took pleasure in these simple requests made and fulfilled between them, a give and take of willingness to please the other, to desire and accept the responsibility of each other’s comfort and gratification. </p><p>He chuckled and took the cup, performing the same short series of actions and pauses before handing it back. “What is that?” she asked as she took another sip, less urgent in her thirst.</p><p>“I had to squeeze the blueberries,” he said matter-of-factly and she laughed and cooed at him affectionately, climbing to rest her upper body in his lap, still holding her cup.</p><p>“Let’s go do something, I’ve been lying down the entire time you've been gone,” she said, scooting towards the edge of the bed.</p><p>They rose and dressed while Lily hummed a happy tune, practically dancing in her movements as she led them down the hall to the workroom. He settled quickly in front of a large copper bowl left on the workbench which she guessed that he'd brought up with him from the pit earlier as it was quite heavily smeared with red. He grabbed two smaller bowls to set to the side, eyes bright as he dipped his hands in and started doing something in the large one.</p><p>Lily puttered, checking on her herb jars and making note of what needed replenishing, tidying her odds and ends, considering what she wanted to do. She pulled a book from a shelf with a twitched finger to flip through for inspiration, thinking of amusing ways to tweak the spells on the pages.</p><p>“Beloved?” Lily asked distractedly, hearing him grunt in response, occupied. “If my formula requires the eyes of a blind man, will the spell be as effective if I blind him myself before taking his eyes, or must he be blind from birth?”</p><p>He hummed thoughtfully, answering without looking up from his own task which she saw now was stripping the meat efficiently from a large collection of severed fingers with his own claws, dropping flesh into one bowl and bone into another. Lily considered the gruesome sight for a moment and then dismissed the reflexive hint of useless unease. If he needed more phalanxes for his spells, whatever did she <em>expect</em> him to do?</p><p>Though as she glanced up to a high shelf where sat a nearly-full jar of ground bone and then back to his enthused, intent face and watched him discreetly place some small morsel into his mouth before he answered, she thought that he might have been doing it for <em>fun</em>, which gladdened her immensely. She didn’t much care what he enjoyed doing so long as she got to watch him smile while he did it.</p><p>“It depends upon what you wish to accomplish. You look for something unseen?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Then it is whether what you seek is unseen due to distance or time. If you cannot find it or it is just elsewhere out of sight, any blind eyes will do. If you cast for a vision of the past or future, only eyes that have never seen the physical plane will provide a clear view.”</p><p>Lily huffed, closing the book in front of her. “Damn,” she mumbled, setting it aside, sitting on her stool and turning her attention to observing him, chin in hand.</p><p>“What?” he asked, raising a brow at her.</p><p>“Oh, nothing really. It was just a whim.”</p><p>“My lady's whims are law here. Tell me,” he encouraged. </p><p>She rolled her eyes at herself, leaning heavily on the table. “I wanted to see what the baby will look like,” she admitted. “Now that it's happened we could <em>see</em> them, see if it's a boy or a girl, what kind of little feet they'll have, whose eyes…” she trailed off, biting her lip.</p><p>“I thought that you wanted to be surprised,” he commented lightly, face mild.</p><p>“<em>Mm</em>, I don’t recall saying that,” she said slowly, squinting at him.</p><p>“Did you not?” </p><p>“I feel quite sure.” He shrugged dismissively, looking back at his task. “Do <em>you</em> want to be surprised?” she asked, a grin tugging at her lips.</p><p>“I claim no preference,” he responded immediately, tossing a few small bones to rattle into a bowl. </p><p>“<em>Well</em>,” she said, sitting straight and slapping the table lightly, “I’ve changed my mind. I won't look. I want to be surprised.”</p><p>He nodded slowly and her heart fluttered at the smile that he suppressed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Blueberries do not have a consistency that lends well to juicing. Blueberry juice is *effort.*</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Through Crooked Archways</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>
It was subtle. So subtle that she wasn't sure if it was just wishful thinking or even perhaps the copious amounts of soft cheeses and pears she'd been consuming, but her slim belly had been growing firm quite quickly and this gentle roundness was a shape she had never seen her body take before. Lily pressed her palms below her navel and smiled at the feeling of fullness, the new little <em>something</em> that sat just there compelling her hands to linger protectively over it whenever they were free.</p><p>“Do you think I'm imagining things?” She asked him, turning sideways and watching in the mirror as he examined her naked body. “It seems a little soon.”</p><p>He shook his head slowly, bending to press his own hand to the slight curve. “There is a definite change, I see it also. Our child has grown.” </p><p>Lily grinned at him in the mirror, one hand moving up to her tender breast. “These, too. They're a little swollen now but they'll keep swelling,” she commented, testing their new fullness. “They feel heavy. I'm excited about that, I've always wished they were a <em>little</em> bigger.”</p><p>“<em>Yes</em>,” he murmured, distracted by the reflected movement of her hand.</p><p>“<em>You</em> wish that my breasts were bigger?” She asked quickly, drawing his startled eyes back to her face.</p><p>"I… what?” he blinked, looking confused and a little alarmed.</p><p>“Do you think I have small breasts?”</p><p>His brow furrowed and his head shook once before he answered, “You <em>do</em> have small breasts,” and she made an affronted noise which seemed to confuse him even further. “You are a very small woman,” he added. “They are proportionate. Dainty.” At her look he continued, though he would never have admitted to doing anything so undignified as rambling. “<em>Pert</em>. Delightful. The most luscious and satisfying mouthful ever put to my lips. I enjoy them <em>immensely</em>.”</p><p>“Will you enjoy them <em>more</em> when they’re bigger?”</p><p>He was absolutely still for a few seconds. “I feel <em>very</em> strongly that I should not answer that question,” he declared finally.</p><p>“Hmm.”</p><p>He was still for a moment more before bringing his hands in front of him and performing a smooth gesture, pulling something shimmering from the air. A long band of diamonds emerged, her finger's width and fringed with more of the perfectly clear jewels, full of sparkling movement. One end he wrapped closely around her neck and clasped behind her before allowing it to fall down her back and around the left side of her waist, attaching the other end just above the notch between her clavicles. It was pleasantly heavy against her, an opulent sensation which only came from large and ornate decoration.</p><p>Though he was always fond of giving her gifts, the recent pattern to them had been difficult to miss. She was rather impulsive and emotional by her nature anyhow but had been having little moments which seemed baffling even to herself in hindsight and those were the moments during which he tended to produce flowers and sweets and shiny things that distracted her unusually narrow attention span. Maybe she was overreacting. </p><p>When his hands moved away from the chain and gripped her waist she noticed the largest stone on the band, a thing which dragons might duel and bleed for. It was large as her palm and cut in a long marquise, settling exactly over the forceful beating in her chest. The otherworldly depth of the color was powerfully enthralling, the hue of everything in this world that she truly loved. He did enjoy seeing her in rubies.</p><p>Many, indeed most of the pieces he gave her had a particular look, a texture that told her he had arranged them himself out of raw metals and gems sourced from treasures amassed over the millennia, or perhaps even pulled from the very ether. Some came straight from his vaults but others, like this, held a strong note of his gaze, his image of her, his desires. She felt quite sure that he had conjured every last one of her crowns.</p><p>“It is beyond compare,” she told him, swiping the edge of it with her fingertips. </p><p>“As are you. As are your <em>breasts</em>,” he emphasized, making her laugh softly, mostly at herself, “which are most dear to me because they hold my heart between them. Just here.” His hand took hers and covered it, placed it over the ruby which sat over her own heart growing warm with their body heat as he ducked to pull her back to his chest. </p><p>She felt a bit overly emotional now in a different way and leaned back against him with her eyes closed until he spoke again. “And because they have such <em>responsive</em> nipples,” he added, brushing one with the pad of his thumb gently, just enough that it peaked and hardened under his reflection's avid gaze. </p><p>Lily inhaled sharply and chuckled at him, pulling away to dress in something delicate and simple to highlight his gift's grand beauty. She sang distractedly under her breath as she searched her gowns, emerging from her closet vaguely annoyed, sighing heavily, rubbing her temple. He caught her up as she passed him, tilting her face to meet his eyes.</p><p>“What?” He asked, holding her still. Lily blinked at him, uncomprehending. “You keep making that face and then you say it is nothing.”</p><p>Lily rolled her eyes. “I have a tune that won’t leave my head and it is very irritating,” she informed him.</p><p>“Who taught it to you?” he asked her shrewdly, seeming to always be searching for reasons behind any little quirk or tick.</p><p>“My mother, I think.”</p><p>He made a low satisfied noise in the back of his throat and it put a smile back on her face as she dressed, carefully laying her jewelry over her gown. She followed him into the workroom though she was not particularly in the mood for spellwork, only wishing to spend as many seconds as possible with him before he retreated to his meditations. </p><p>“You usually leave me for so much longer when you pull at your shadows than when you tend the pit,” she commented as she sat on her stool, watching him select a few items from shelves and place them nearby. “Why is it so much easier?”</p><p>“Proximity I suppose,” he replied. “I am not deafened in meditation, just concentrating quite spectacularly. If you called out from the bedchamber or the library I would hear you, any shout from the dining hall I should think would echo well enough. I am more at ease when you are nearby. The workroom is not several levels farther below.”</p><p>Lily nodded and looked down at her very slightly rounded belly, her face suddenly crumpling, tears spilling past her dark lashes in heavy drops. Her lord bent and placed a hand to her cheek, looking closely at her. He did not directly ask her why she cried, but this particular close observance with that particular flare of his left nostril generally meant that he was trying to suss it out and would begin asking questions if he could not guess or if she did not tell him.</p><p>“Our baby is <em>so small</em>,” she choked. He paused, glancing downward also.</p><p>“It is still a fetus in early gestation,” he stated factually, as though if he told her <em>why</em> it would stem her tears.</p><p>“Only this big,” she sniffed, holding up one hand in a little cup, the other over the small bump in question.</p><p>“Yes, roughly,” he responded, seeming at a loss then, still staring. After a few seconds of looking into her cupped hand he blinked and stood again. “Would you like a…” his fingers twitched and a small cake appeared in his palm, dark sponge swirled with jam. He looked at it a moment, sniffing at it before continuing. “…blackcurrant jellyroll?”</p><p>“<em>Ooh</em>, yes I would,” Lily said, her tears immediately ceasing as she reached for it. </p><p>He stood to lean on the workbench beside her, watching her nibble at the cake happily. “You are easy to distract with food under regular circumstances, but it has grown <em>quite</em> astonishing.”</p><p>“I can’t help that your child is hungry all the time,” she told him, licking jam from the edge of her lip. “There wouldn't happen to be any cockatrice in the kitchens, would there?”</p><p>He stared at her eating her cake. “Not likely, but I will bring you one.”</p><p>“No, no. Don't go to the trouble. I'd settle for a boiled egg…”</p><p>He laughed, raising a brow. “A cockatrice egg, presumably?”</p><p>“If there happens to be one about,” she qualified hopefully.</p><p>As she stuffed the last of the cake into her mouth he twisted his wrist and a heavily speckled emerald egg twice as large as her fist rolled towards her over the table. She caught it and tapped it on the stone edge of the workbench, beginning to remove the surprisingly frail shell and place it on the tabletop, exposing deep orange albumin. She bit into it happily, pleased by the salty, complex flavor, waving a hand and sending the shell away.</p><p>“I was under the impression that I'd be nauseated at some point,” she commented, moaning softly as she reached the thick, vibrantly red and mostly liquid yolk, “but I just want to eat everything. Including <em>you</em>. I have never felt so in need of your husbandly services,” she told him, licking her lip as he narrowed his eyes at her. </p><p>“Are you making a request?” </p><p>She giggled, taking another messy nibble. “No, I know you have things to do and I'm going to go find something else to nosh on.”</p><p>“<em>Not</em> me,” he confirmed, just to be sure.</p><p>“You <em>later</em>,” she corrected as he sat, smiling at her quick disposal of the egg. “What do you suppose would happen if you gave me your shadows and then pulled me into this?” Lily asked, tapping his globe with a nail. “Do you think that I could experience your meditations with you?”</p><p>He went still, hesitating. After a moment his head shook slowly. “That seems <em>very</em> unwise.”</p><p>“But possible?”</p><p>“In theory,” he offered reluctantly.</p><p>“The thought of seeing what you see…”</p><p>His head continued shaking as he looked at her. “It is much more than sight. Lily, when I touch you with them as I do, it is something the same as this,” he said, grabbing her hand. “But <em>this</em>,” his other went to the globe, “this is focus of a different kind. I would not want you to see through the eyes of my spirit. <em>In theory</em> you would feel what I feel.”</p><p>“Perhaps then I would better understand,” she suggested softly, laying her free hand over his on the crystal.</p><p>“My very being was created specifically to withstand what it does. I am strong because I must be to hold it. You were <em>human</em> once.” </p><p>“Not now before the baby is born, but perhaps someday? Just for a <em>moment</em>,” she pleaded, intent on the thought now that she'd had it.</p><p>He shook his head again, the look on his face grim. “Nay, Lily. Do not ask me again, I beg this.”</p><p>She gazed at him seriously, taking a deep breath. It was the first thing that he had <em>ever</em> truly denied her. Separation, just temporary, was the only other request that he had fought against and when she had finally convinced him it had ended in regret, though after everything it did seem that the long ago decision had found a way to circle back into a gift.</p><p>“Alright,” she agreed softly.</p><p>“Swear it,” he requested, his voice even lower than hers.</p><p>“I swear,” she breathed, taken aback.</p><p>He sighed, his relief palpable though he moved little. “It pains me greatly to refuse you <em>anything</em>,” he whispered. </p><p>Lily squeezed his fingers. “You won't need to, I won't ask again.” She let out a sigh herself, a memory tugging at her. “The willful heart invites despair, like blind men creeping in a dragon's lair,” she recited distractedly.</p><p>“What utter rot,” he scoffed, making her laugh.</p><p>“Yes, perhaps.” She watched as he lit a candle with a touch of his finger, placing it on the opposite side of the crystal to himself, arranging a few other small objects which aligned with his goals. “Maybe it's time for me to find a large one of my own. I could make more nasty weather for you.”</p><p>At that he smiled, his mood light again. “<em>That</em> is an excellent idea,” he held out an arm for her and she stood to accept his embrace and the kiss he offered before beginning his work. “Your storms are such shelter for me. Splendidly dark clouds to block the sun and fill men's hearts with gloom, the sweetest gifts of love.”</p><p>“Are they?” she asked. Lily did so want to be his shelter.</p><p>He nodded slightly, keeping her eyes as their noses brushed. “Yes,” he breathed against her, lips soft and tongue gentle as they touched hers. His hand crept up and pressed the enormous ruby against her chest again and she held it there, savoring his taste and the feel of his fingers. </p><p>Lily finally pulled away to let him set upon his task, glancing back before she crossed the threshold, like always. She hung on the edge of the frame a moment and kissed the air at him to catch his smile before she slipped around the door, leaving it open and heading down the corridor. </p><p>There was a shuffle which startled her before she reached the portal to the dining hall, an unexpected dart of movement that made her jump. Lily gasped as an imp slithered into her view from high on the wall, one of the smaller breed with wings and the somewhat unsettling habit of traveling on all fours, sharp claws hooked into walls and ceilings as they made use of every surface but the floor.</p><p>“Why are you in this hall, imp?” she said sternly up at him, watching with amusement as <em>she</em> startled <em>him</em> and caused him to scramble as he lost his grip.</p><p>The imp chittered nervously at her and pointed farther away at another speck of movement which she <em>just</em> caught racing along the bottom of the wall. A rat. She looked to her feral subject, watching his eyes focus on the rodent like the honed predator that he was. These small imps were deceivingly child-sized, vicious on their own and rather terrifying in packs, but this particular one did seem to be young, even smaller than most and visibly struggling between paying proper respects and chasing his quarry.</p><p>Lily sighed. “Go get it and then leave the royal halls,” she commanded sharply, feeling rather lenient in her good mood but still undesirous that the private space she shared with her husband should be intruded upon. The imp made an oddly shrill but excited yapping noise before scurrying off and she could not hold back the quiet giggle that followed him. </p><p>She found her way to their table and decided against sitting, instead wishing to stretch her legs and wander up and down the perpetually replenished spread. The kitchens never stopped producing and if one sat long enough they might see the occasional dish replace itself, sometimes the same contents, sometimes new. Plentiful fruit sat and was brought in as it was eaten, never a worry to be had for decay. </p><p>Of course the fruit was what she was drawn to, always her favorite but lately a ravenous, unceasing craving no matter what else she wanted with it and she could not seem to eat enough no matter how heroic an effort she made. Lily picked up a few large grapes with one hand and a fig with the other, leaning her arms over the high table. She saw something that looked like a <em>very</em> large turkey leg and pulled a bit of it off with her fingers, eating it with a nibble of the fig. It was rather tasty that way so she took a larger piece and a larger bite of the fruit, pleased to follow this urge as her body asked without worrying over manners.</p><p>“Lily?”</p><p>Lily startled badly, coughing, struggling to swallow though she had barely chewed the unreasonable amount of food in her mouth. She startled again as she spotted the owner of the voice, the face familiar, exactly who she'd first thought though she could scarcely believe it, the very last person she expected to see.</p><p>She stared. </p><p>And chewed, sputtering, then finally swallowed her food and coughed again.</p><p>“<em>Jack</em>?”</p><p>He laughed a breathy, watery laugh, nodding, his gaze warm and relieved. She looked him over disbelievingly, noting the things that had changed and the things that <em>hadn't</em>. He wore clothes like she remembered villagers wearing, fabrics like Albin had worn in greys and soft browns, soft leather boots made by a human cobbler on his feet. His hair was still long though he seemed to tie it a little differently and he stood straighter, was just a little taller, a little fuller, a little sadder, but still young.</p><p>He had to be several years older now than her father had been before she’d left him and yet she would not believe he had aged a spare decade. His hair was dark and his tanned skin unlined, though it had taken on more of the masculine texture which came with maturity.  His features seemed stronger, cheeks and jaw sharper, eyes still kind as they finally looked her over though they sobered and crinkled in worry.</p><p>“You're alive,” he whispered simply, concentrating on her face as she stood straighter.</p><p>“Yes,” she responded, stunned, not knowing what else to say.</p><p>“It's you. The Queen of Darkness. Queen Lilith. It's <em>you</em>.” </p><p>Lily nodded slowly, looking towards the portal to the hall down which her husband sat. She did not want him to kill Jack and was <em>extremely</em> uncertain that she could convince him. He was more than a bit of the jealous type and none too forgiving of rivals and intruders.</p><p>“Will he come soon?” Jack asked nervously, having followed her eyes and been reminded of the dangers here. “I came out because you were alone.”</p><p>“He is distracted,” she assured him, “but you may not wish to speak loudly.”</p><p>He nodded and suddenly his kind eyes were crying tears that bore no relief as he looked to the floor and back up at her. “So <em>long</em>. I'm so sorry. I would have come sooner, but I didn't… or I <em>hoped</em>, didn't <em>want</em> to think it. I heard a strange story from a florist once, but the name wasn't quite right and by then Gump had told me…” he stopped, his face taking on a hard edge that was strange held against her memory of him. “Gump is a liar.”</p><p>“Gump does not lie,” she said softly, having a very difficult time thinking of what she <em>really</em> needed to say to him.</p><p>“Gump lies in his way. Believe me, I know him well.”</p><p>“I know him well enough myself, <em>and</em> enough about the fay,” she responded, a bit of annoyance breaking through her daze. “You just have to learn to listen closely.”</p><p>He sighed, seeming to release at least a bit of whatever he was holding. “Gump makes no difference now. I'm here to get you <em>out</em> of this place. However he's keeping you here I'm sure I can remove his hold. I can <em>try</em>. I went to a witch, she gave me…” he reached into a bag that she had not noticed before and she also caught a glimpse of a large dagger behind him. When his hands emerged he held a thin rope which was tied in a loop, strung with charms that she recognized. A few painted sticks came next, some small candles with carvings, more bits of string, a variety of pieces of spells all meant to do the same thing- break magical ties to a person or place, remove spells which would keep her from leaving, bound to him like a plait of her hair around his wrist.</p><p>“Jack, I'm… afraid that you misunderstand the situation quite gravely,” she said quietly, watching him freeze and his eyes snap up to her. The look in them was stricken and she could see that he had some expectation of what he would hear next. “Do you know what I will say?” she asked, wondering if it would be easier for him to just acknowledge truths instead of listening to them spoken aloud.</p><p>He shook his head, growing tense, his breath uneven. Jack took a single step towards her and stared hard into her eyes, searching, the anxious sadness there edged with such heartbreaking hope that she knew he needed to hear her say it, needed badly for her to kill that hope before he could leave. She looked down at the objects he still held, taking note now of his hand with a stab of some pain that felt a bit like regret. He still wore her ring.</p><p>“I am not trapped. I love him, Jack.” She met his eye directly as he flinched, opened her gaze to him with pure honesty. She felt she owed him that much. “I chose him. I’m sorry that I hurt you but I am not sorry that I did it. I would do it again. He is my lord and I am his lady. This is my home now.” </p><p>He still stared at her, that hope fading to something more frantic, something mournful. She decided not to mention her more recent anchor to this world, a hand swiping down her front. If he had heard one story of Queen Lilith he may well hear of this anyhow, one day later when his grief had calmed. </p><p>His forlorn eyes raked her again, taking in her hair which had grown long and wild and her face which had stayed much the same. They ran down the jewels that she wore and lingered at the neck and the ruby, flicked towards and away from areas of her body which she realized suddenly would not commonly be displayed above in a gown such as this, sheer and sleeveless and slit on both sides to the upward curves of her hips. She had not felt shy of standing before anyone in her gowns before, each as provocative as the last, though suddenly now she felt a little too exposed under his eyes, a little less comfortable than she had grown used to feeling even with her nudity.</p><p>“I was so hopeful that I wouldn't hear you say something like that,” he said, now seeming quite unable to look at her at all. She did not know what else to tell him. “Can I give you something, Lily?” he asked the floor quietly, voice and hands trembling. She did not answer immediately and he added even more softly, “Before I go?” His eyes seemed despairing now though they still did not meet hers. It was obviously important to him. “I have always trusted you. Trust me now? Just one last time?”</p><p>Lily sighed, thinking of how she might feel if her lord accepted a gift from some woman that he had once professed to love. It did not please her and she hesitated to accept anything Jack might give but he had been dear to her once, had been there for her in her youth when she needed someone and she would always be grateful to him for that. Now he sat before her obviously in great distress but willing to take it with him, only seeming to want to leave her with a token. </p><p>“Alright,” she said softly, stepping close enough to take whatever it was. She watched him fumble to put his freeing charms away first, his shaking hands clumsy.</p><p>“I'm sorry, Lily,” he whispered, pulling a small drawstring pouch from his bag. She sighed again, not wanting him to apologize for good intentions though it was like him to do with a heart as kind as his eyes. He had hoped to save her from what he'd assumed was a coerced fate.</p><p>“It's alright, Jack. I wish you <em>every</em> happiness.”</p><p>“I know that you don't understand, but you will thank me for this,” he whispered more quietly, so quietly that she barely heard him and it took her a moment to comprehend his words.</p><p>“Jack, wha-" she asked in horror just before his hand flew out and her body went numb, a cloud like heavy ash around her, stealing her awareness from the room as she filled with sinking panic. Lily felt consciousness slip away, wishing desperately that she had screamed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*Author peeks out from behind screen, looks around nervously and disappears again.*</p><p>Meep!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. The Sear and the Rot</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lily woke slowly, becoming aware of a series of rather unpleasant sensations as she realized that she was conscious and then belatedly realized that she had been <em>un</em>conscious. She whimpered and turned her face with difficulty into whatever surface she was laying on because something quite <em>excruciatingly</em> bright was assaulting her skull from beyond her closed eyelids, but the cushion beneath her was wrong in so many ways and the relief from the light was accompanied by confusion and dismay as she felt cloth that seemed rough and abrasive on her skin, inhaled looking for some scent that she could not find, pressed against padding with unfamiliar texture and resistance.</p><p>What was going <em>on</em>? Her head throbbed and her eyes stung and her skin itched and she was cold and hungry and she could not think straight at <em>all</em>. Lily moaned and struggled to put her hands over her head, pressing her hair down around her face to more completely block the light.</p><p>“Lily? Are you awake?”</p><p>She was immediately irritated by the soft voice but pushed it down, squeezing her eyes shut and tilting her head out to groan, “Why is it so bright?”</p><p>She heard a heavy sigh and felt movement as someone sat near her. A soft hand landed on her shoulder but she flinched away and it pulled back. “Please don't touch me,” she said sharply, head still tilted. There was precious little that she could remember just at the moment, flashes of imagery and slippery thoughts that only confused her more but in her distress she held tight to a comforting ache inside that came with vague memories of feeling safe with strong limbs wrapped around her, intense heat instead of this chill making her shiver. She did not know who this person sitting here was but she knew that the hand that touched her was even more wrong than the pillow, too small and too cold and too soft and that made her want to cry.</p><p>“I'm sorry, I know this is confusing and probably uncomfortable. You’re under a spell, you have been for a very long time. We need to break it but it might not be easy. The witch said that when someone is enthralled long enough it can get deep, make you <em>really</em> believe it. Then it's even harder to root out, makes you fight to keep it.” He took a deep breath and she heard a fierce determination in his voice, though it seemed he may have held back tears himself. “But we'll figure this out. I promise, I won't let him take you again. You’re safe now.”</p><p>“That’s not<em> right</em>,” she insisted, but he only sighed again.</p><p>Lily shook her head, trying to remember <em>anything</em>. Goblins were annoying. Her favorite book had a dark blue cover and lots of interesting symbols in it. She didn't like putting things on her feet because she couldn't stretch her toes and it made her feel constricted, reminded her of something that she didn't like. She caught a flash of dark furs next to her cheek in her mind’s eye, felt the phantom slip of silk and sweat-slicked skin, caught the echo of a deep voice whispering to her in the dark. There was life growing inside of her.</p><p>“I want to go <em>home</em>,” she said pitifully, overwhelmed. </p><p>“I know, but that place is <em>not</em> your home. Once you’re no longer in his thrall things will be clearer.”</p><p>She moaned again. None of this was right. This man did not understand. There was something familiar about him that made her want to trust him but something in her said not to and he obviously was not in agreement with her assessment of things. She wanted to go <em>home</em>, a word which conjured thoughts of heavy stonework and fire and those same limbs that she was clinging to the memory of for solace in this terrifying situation. If she was in thrall to whoever owned those strong arms she didn't much care to break it. She wanted to get <em>back</em> there. </p><p>“What is your name?” she asked the man next to her, sure that he could not be a stranger to her.</p><p>He paused a long moment before he answered. “Jack. I'm a friend. I… I care for you, Lily, very much. You don’t remember me?”</p><p><em>Jack</em>, yes, that sounded right for that voice. “I'm very confused,” she told him, turning her face just a bit further outwards. As time passed it seemed a little easier to withstand the brightness though not by much and her body still felt slow, almost like she was moving under water. She covered her eyes with a hand and sat weakly, unsteadily, hoping to look at her surroundings and her companion, cracking her fingers by tiny increments until the sting of her eyes was not so intense that she could not grit her teeth and push through it. </p><p>“I'm sure that taking you away from him did something. It invades your memory, this magic, takes your reason from you.”</p><p>“Where am I?” she asked, unable to puzzle out what exactly he was talking about, too dizzy to focus on it.</p><p>“My home. I built it after you… you've never been here before.” There was a pause. “It's about as safe as anywhere can be. We're in a tall oak, closer to the sun than a house.”</p><p>Lily peeked through her fingers at a cramped room, rough and full of simple things but neat. Outside of a window there were colors which hurt her eyes too badly to stare at for long but she saw verdant green leaves close by and a hint of rolling hills peeking from between them. It was disorienting even to catch a glimpse of, the sight of the unsettlingly blue sky causing a sharp stab of pain through her head. </p><p>Across the room was a small table with two stools tucked beneath it and a strange looking little stove in the opposite corner. Simple cupboards and shelves sat between them but Lily did not observe them long enough to identify the contents as looking up was <em>terribly</em> difficult, being that the corners above and below it all were lined with <em>horrible, searing light</em> in clusters that she could not even attempt to glance at.</p><p>She looked to her seat instead, finding herself on a low, narrow bed and covered in a rough wool blanket. She lifted her eyes again just enough to see that beside her sat a young man whom she opened her fingers a bit wider to examine, face familiar like his voice.</p><p>“<em>Why is it so bright</em>?” she asked him again, wrapping the blanket she’d spotted more tightly about herself before closing her eyes and pressing her hands back against them.</p><p>“The lanterns are full of sunlight,” he said gently. “So that dark creatures cannot scry here. I'm hiding us.”</p><p>“I <em>hate</em> it. Please put them out, <em>please</em>,” she begged, near tears again. </p><p>“I can't, Lily, I'm sorry. It's probably been a long time since you’ve seen sunlight. It can hurt your eyes when you aren't used to it, but it gets better. I’m sure once we break this curse it will trouble you no more.”</p><p>She huffed, feeling stuck again. “I'm cold and I'm hungry,” she announced, trying to keep her breath even and deciding to focus on discomforts that he might be more amenable to addressing. Lily felt him leave the bed and was relieved by the distance, listening to him shuffle around. She was startled when he gently laid another piece of cloth across her shoulders and then another across her front, wrapping them around her before he left again.</p><p>Lily adjusted, finding that there was a cloak behind her with a hood that she raised and another blanket to her front. The hood made it just a <em>little</em> easier to open her eyes for brief glimpses of her surroundings and she was starting to feel slightly less chilled, but her stomach gnawed with hunger and she placed her hands over it beneath the cover of the blanket as though she could soothe the little thing inside, feeling guilty even though she had very little idea what was going on.</p><p>“Is there anything in particular that you want? I have a great deal of fruit.”</p><p>She sighed in relief, for that was <em>exactly</em> what she wanted though a craving for something else niggled at her, too. Suddenly the urge to cry was a bit easier to control. “Berries. Or… cockatrice. Actually, I'm craving cockatrice rather badly right now. With something tangy. Probably the berries.”</p><p>“Oh,” Jack said, “I, ah, don't have cockatrice.” Lily heard his unease and peeked up at him briefly. She didn’t know why he looked so uncomfortable, why he should stare at her so.</p><p>“Basilisk is tougher but tastes much the same. I feel like someone told me once that they’re easier to catch. No wings,” she told him, rubbing her temple. These little facts kept drifting in and out, everything in her head obscured as though by fog, bits and pieces solidifying and dissolving again strangely.</p><p>Jack was quiet for a moment, searching for words. It made her imagine him as a slightly younger man, wilder, dressed all in green.</p><p>“Here,” Jack said finally, smiling weakly as he retrieved a bundle of cloth from a shelf near the table on the other side of the room, “Blackberries. Your favorite. I picked them earlier this morning. They’re sweetest this time of year.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Lily said quietly, dropping the blanket in her lap and taking the cloth from him, immediately opening it and shoving several berries into her mouth at once. She chewed once and gagged, spitting them back into her hand as he looked on in surprise.</p><p>“They're <em>rotten</em>,” she complained, spitting into a corner of the cloth, wiping her tongue on it and placing the partially chewed fruit in the same spot. “Water?” she asked, just holding out a hand with her eyes closed again. After a moment a cup was pressed to her palm and she drank heartily, trying to ignore the way his fingers had steadied hers as he handed it off. Jack crouched and looked into the cloth inquisitively, picking one from the pile she had yet to touch. </p><p>“I don't understand,” he said, confused. “I ate from the bush.” He ate the berry, then another. “These are very good.”</p><p>“They taste spoilt,” she declared, firm in her assessment. </p><p>Jack shook his head and took the cloth from her. She squinted again and watched him set it aside on his little table then reach into a rough burlap sack which hung from the wall, returning with an apple and holding it out to her in offering. </p><p>“It's <em>pink</em>,” she told him, the expression on her face vaguely unnerved. </p><p>“Yes,” Jack said slowly. “Most of the apples that grow here are pink. I have a green one if you… want that?” he pointed in the direction of his sack, ready to exchange it.</p><p>Lily made a face. “That <em>isn’t</em> better.” He stood still before her, silent. “It looks <em>wrong</em>,” she insisted.</p><p>Jack ran a hand through his hair, looking rather befuddled. “What color should it be?” </p><p>“Black,” Lily told him immediately, sounding as though she might have thought he was a bit slow. </p><p>“Of course it should,” he sighed, suddenly weary.</p><p>“Like the berries. At least they look right. The color of that apple is <em>alarming</em>.”</p><p>“Lily,” Jack started, “look. I swear, the apple is fine.” He took a bite of it himself, chewing for a few seconds and nodding before trying to hand it to her again. She took it from him cautiously, holding it as though it might bite <em>her</em>. After a few tense seconds she sighed, wiping the fruit on her skirt as Jack watched, his eyes sad. She turned it to hesitantly bite the side his mouth had not touched, face souring as soon as the juice hit her tongue, spitting the small chunk she had dared back into her palm.</p><p>“This is <em>also</em> terrible,” she said, cringing. “It is bitter and fermenting in a very unpleasant manner.”</p><p>“It's sweet, Lily. Sweet and ripe and a little tart. It isn't even bruised.”</p><p>“It tastes rancid. I’m sorry, I cannot eat this. Even if I could stomach it I would fear for my child.” She held her hands out to hand him the apple as he gaped, suddenly breathless. Jack fell to one knee before her, taking her wrists in both hands. Uncomfortable, she pulled them away, watching the hurt in his eyes as she did. She dropped the fruit and the bite she had taken of it into his outstretched hands instead, watching him stare at it for a long minute. </p><p>“<em>His</em> child?” he whispered shakily, eyes suddenly on her middle.</p><p>“If by <em>his</em> you mean whatever man has left this hole in my heart then <em>yes</em>, I'm sure it is,” she huffed miserably, finally closing her eyes again and wrapping her arms protectively around the subtle bulge in her belly. As soon as he had said it her tears had started pushing at the back of her eyelids again and she knew that this life she guarded and the strong arms belonged to the same person even as they both belonged to <em>her</em>. “I <em>miss</em> him. I cannot even remember his face but I miss him so <em>very</em> much,” she said, unable to hold her weeping in any longer. </p><p>Jack dropped the apple, sitting heavily on the floor. His hands fisted in his hair while he looked at her, horror and sadness clouding his own eyes with tears. “Are there others?” he asked, just as quiet as before. </p><p>“I don't know,” she admitted dejectedly. “I can’t remember.” She rubbed the firm, budding curve slowly, still hiding it from him with her hands. “It feels like my first.”</p><p>He sighed, covering his mouth, eyes still fixed. “It doesn't look like you’re very far along,” he commented hesitantly after a minute. She narrowed her eyes at him.</p><p>“Why does <em>that</em> matter?” she asked sharply, tightening her arms again, not liking his tone. </p><p>Jack looked up finally, his eyes widening. “No, it doesn’t. It <em>doesn’t</em>. I just mean that I didn’t notice, you don’t look…”</p><p>Lily sniffed, still on her guard. She had a sudden thought and gasped. “When you carried me up, did you put me over your shoulder? On my belly?”</p><p>“Yes,” he told her as Lily groaned, distressed. “I'm sorry,” he apologized softly.</p><p>“Well there’s nothing to be done about it now,” she told him coldly, wiping at her sore eyes, ”but I'm still hungry. What about meat? Honestly I don't care what it is as long as it doesn't make me ill.”</p><p>“I… have hunted before during very harsh winters, but…”</p><p>“Please… what… what is your name?” she asked dazedly, even recent memory difficult to hold on to.</p><p>“…<em>Jack</em>,” he said slowly.</p><p>“<em>Please</em>, Jack,” she sighed. “You claim to care for me. I am with child and I am very, <em>very</em> hungry and I cannot eat the fruit. I need <em>something</em>.” She cracked her eyes to look at him again, seeing him nod a little.</p><p>“I'll find something,” he said quietly, standing. </p><p>“Thank you,” Lily breathed out with relief. She did not know what to do next but needed food and very much hoped that he would find some quickly. She squinted again to watch him collect a few things, picking up a bag which he slung over one shoulder and a bow and small quiver which he put over the other, placing a dagger on his belt.</p><p>Jack paused in front of a cupboard and she looked on curiously as he opened it and pulled something bright out that drew her eye, something else familiar. A bunch of red flowers, large and vibrant, stems tied together with braided and knotted twine. At the end of each stem was a little piece of cloth, tied and stained red.</p><p>He did not directly try to hide his action as the size of the room and where she was sitting made it virtually impossible, but he seemed to do it self consciously as though hoping that she would not notice. When the flowers had disappeared into his bag he looked back and met her eyes, the shame in his telling. Lily took a deep breath and stared back at him, understanding that those flowers were <em>hers</em> and that he should not have them, should not have tied them so.</p><p>“I'm sorry, but I need you to stay here while I’m gone. Please try to understand that I’m <em>protecting</em> you right now even though it doesn't feel like it,” he told her earnestly.</p><p>“You say that we are <em>friends</em>, Jack?” she asked him, suddenly feeling bitter and not quite understanding why. </p><p>“Yes,” he whispered back.</p><p>“Well I am <em>very</em> angry with you,” she hissed out breathlessly, dissolving immediately into sobs that she tried her hardest to stifle, breathing shakily through her mouth and hunching into herself. His hand touched her shoulder but she shrugged him violently away and in another moment she heard him silently leave, his footsteps and the soft movement and latch of a carefully carved door the only sound in the room besides her own tears.</p><p>As soon as he was gone she struggled to stand, dropping the blankets and stumbling towards the door herself. Her legs failed her and she fell to the floor, only now realizing just <em>how</em> restricted and fatigued she felt. She crawled to the door and tried to lift herself to open it but could not touch the latch, bumping her head against the wood in frustration.</p><p>Once she gave up on the door she crawled instead to one of the bright spots on the floor, shielding her face as her tears continued to blur her vision anyhow. Maybe she could figure out how to put these damned lanterns out, at least those that she could reach. She groped for one blindly in the direction she knew it sat and her fingers bumped into it, searing pain streaking up her arm from her hand. She screamed, cradling her burnt fingers and sobbing harder.</p><p>Lily fell limply to the floor, pulling the hood over her face and sitting in despair. She had no idea what to <em>do</em>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I feel fairly certain that MoD is now the longest Legend fanfic on the entire internet, moreso of course this series as a whole. As of this chapter MoD is more than 50k words and my Lilith series is over 100k.</p><p>This fic is now officially twice the length of LR and I have NO idea how much longer it will be. I didn't even know it would take anywhere near this long to get where we are as it is. I'm a very verbose human, obviously.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Attempts and Awakenings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lily was still in a heap on the floor when Jack returned, crying quiet, exhausted tears. The pain in her hand would not lessen, nor would the ache in her head. This time when he approached her he did not touch her, crouching nearby and speaking quietly instead.</p><p>“Will you let me help you back to the bed?” he asked, and Lily was <em>very</em> glad that he did.</p><p>“<em>No</em>,” she responded vehemently. If he just <em>touched</em> her again she would scratch him and aim to draw blood. </p><p>He was quiet and still just another few seconds before he rose, walking away to set his things down. “I have a rabbit. It won't take very long to cook,” he told her evenly, though his tone was a bit dejected. </p><p>“Just <em>give</em> it to me,” she demanded, sniffing, gathering her breath. </p><p>He went silent again and she pushed herself up to look at him with one arm, still cradling her burnt hand to her chest. He was staring at the dead rabbit with his dagger in hand. “With the skin?” he asked eventually, seemingly otherwise at a loss.</p><p>“Take its skin first or give me a knife but then just <em>put it in my hands.</em> I don't have patience for this nonsense,” she snapped, hissing when her fingers brushed cloth and the contact sent a fresh wave of pain through her. Jack looked up, immediately hovering back at her side.</p><p>“What happened to your hand?” he asked, concerned.</p><p>“The rabbit <em>first</em>,” she insisted.</p><p>He huffed in frustration and got up again while she slowly made her way back to the bed, scooting and pulling herself the few feet and then resting a moment before rising to her knees. She struggled to make it the rest of the way and heard Jack pause and begin to speak, stopping himself short when she make an irritated noise at him.</p><p>Eventually she accomplished her task, panting and lightheaded. She glanced up and found him neatly skinning the rabbit over a bowl, though he looked pained to be doing it. In a minute he handed the bowl to her and she wasted no time grabbing up the rabbit with her uninjured hand, letting the shallow earthenware dish drop to the floor and roll away. Lily took a large bite straight from the hind leg of the carcass as he watched, not seeing the shock in his eyes as she closed hers and moaned. </p><p>It was still warm, still wet, and she felt half starved. The heat of the body was welcome in her belly and as she continued to take large, eager mouthfuls she felt increasingly steadier, less dizzy, more able to focus for short times. When she finally slit her eyes open to look at Jack she did not much care for the way he was looking back at her.</p><p>“Honey,” she said, still chewing, taking another bite even just before she continued, “and marigolds, and something <em>else</em>.” Lily trailed off, unable to remember the bushy flower's name, or the names of the others that might help her hand.</p><p>“I have honey,” he said, seeming almost relieved to look away from her though he had not been able to until then. He retrieved a clay pot from a shelf along with a piece of cloth, stopping to pour a little bit of water on it from a nearby pitcher then brought them both to her warily. He held out the cloth to her but she did not take it. “You have…” he gestured to his own face and then to her bloody hand and she realized that she must be getting quite messy.</p><p>With that thought another slip of a memory flitted through her mind and she braced herself before wiping her burnt fingers against the dripping rabbit, coating the injury in blood. Jack gasped but she ignored him as she continued to smear it as evenly as she could.</p><p>“What are you <em>doing</em>?” he asked, sounding a bit horrified. Lily laid the partially eaten rabbit in her lap and reached for the pot he held, snatching it from his unresisting hand as he stared on. She settled the pot in the crook of her elbow, opened it and ignored the wooden spoon inside, instead dipping her bloody fingers directly into the honey and scooping it out to spread over her burn, gritting her teeth as she gingerly mixed it with the layer of blood. Jack was silent, gaping.</p><p>When she'd finished she handed him back the pot without the lid, instead letting him retrieve it himself from the bed beside her. “I need something to wrap it with,” she told him before she licked her fingers, honey and blood mingling pleasantly on her tongue. He found her another cloth, smaller, and she accepted it to wrap her wound, breathing deeply through the pain as she tied her bandage.</p><p>Lily went back to her rabbit, stripping the flesh with her teeth. It was a fair sized animal but she consumed it quickly as she ignored the other occupant of the room who was silent anyhow. The intestines were discarded on the floor but the other organs were devoured eagerly, heart and liver and kidneys tender and satisfying.</p><p>Bones were dropped as she continued to dismantle the body until she had finished it, licking the blood from her fingers. She held her hand out for the wet cloth that Jack still held, finding him staring at her again, cautious in his movements. He handed it to her and she wiped her face first, the rough ivory linen coming away red. She set it in her lap and wiped her hand as well before handing it back again.</p><p>Jack took the cloth and stared down at what she had left on his floorboards. Lily looked as well, flicking her hand towards the mess and expecting it to disappear. When it didn’t she was confused because it very much seemed to her that when you pushed something it should slide, when you dropped something it should fall, and when you <em>vanished</em> something it should <em>vanish</em>, yet the entrails she had left did not. </p><p>“I can't move it,” Lily said absently, trying to work out in her head why that should be, remembering the flowers in his bag. Patchy bits of memory were solidifying and she <em>knew</em> what the twine around them was for.</p><p>Jack knelt and began gathering the remnants of her meal gently. “It's alright,” he said softly, though she did not think that he even knew what she meant.</p><p>“My legs won't hold me either,” she told him, her voice quiet. </p><p>He continued cleaning the floor silently, eyes on his task. </p><p>“You've bound me,” she stated, more than just an accusation. She had seen the lilies, there was no way for him to deny it.</p><p>Jack did stop then, looking up at her. “I didn't want to.”</p><p>Lily cupped her hands around her eyes so that she could better see him and when she did her head cleared just a <em>little</em> bit more. As they looked at each other she realized that he truly was familiar to her- more than familiar. Jack. This was <em>Jack</em>, dear, sweet Jack who was her childhood sweetheart and beloved friend, Jack who had <em>saved</em> her from her very first taste of despair, Jack who had loved her enough to break laws of the forest in order to show her the greatest magic he knew, Jack who had risen to save the very world with her when the consequence of that discretion turned catastrophic.</p><p>“Jack,” she breathed out, finally <em>knowing</em> him. He seemed to realize it, looking at her with a touch of hope. “What have you <em>done</em>?”</p><p>“I have <em>rescued</em> you,” he insisted, that hope turning sad again.</p><p>Lily shook her head slowly, keeping eye contact with him. “No,” she said simply. Not much was settled in her head, but she was absolutely certain of <em>that</em>.</p><p>He took a deep breath, wiping the last of the blood from the floor and setting the small bundle of gore aside. “If you were yourself you would not want to be where you have been.”</p><p>“I have been <em>exactly</em> where I want to be.” </p><p>Jack's eyes lingered around the right side of her face where her bandaged fingers shielded her from the light. “You hurt your hand, Lily. What happened?”</p><p>“I burnt it on one of the lanterns,” she said.</p><p>He was quiet for a few seconds. “They shouldn’t be hot enough to burn you, definitely not that badly.”</p><p>“Well they <em>did</em>.”</p><p>“I'm sorry,” he sighed out gently, uncertainly, “but also please don’t <em>do</em> that. I told you that we need them lit.”</p><p>“They <em>hurt</em>, Jack,“ she told him, looking as steadily at him as she could and hoping that she could convince him somehow, “and the more I look at them the less I can remember.”</p><p>Her statement seemed to make him waver though he shook his head and it gave her the impression that he truly <em>was</em> sensitive to her discomfort but sure of his purpose, sure that he would do her a disservice by allowing her to convince him. Jack's intentions had <em>always</em> been good and he had always cared for her, always had her best interests at heart though he was not always correct about what that entailed. </p><p>“It’s very important that they stay lit, especially while we’re trying to break the spell. Which we should do soon.”</p><p>“Since when did you become a sorcerer?” She asked once it was clear that he would not meet her request. A sharp pain ran through her head after looking up so long and her palms closed again over her eyes. This was all still terribly confusing. She did not remember Jack practicing magic. Why was she here again? </p><p>He laughed quietly and she was reminded of sitting against sun-warmed trees with him, laying sleepily in tall grass. “I'm not. I don't really know much about these things, I just got a lot of advice from someone who does.”</p><p>“I think I should go,” she said, and he was quiet. “I'm sure it's been a lovely visit, but this is not… I don’t know why I would do this again. I don’t feel well,” she said, moving to rise. Her legs were weak and she almost slid to the floor but he reflexively steadied her and she gripped his arm, sitting back down. When he let go of her she looked to his face and he seemed wary, as though he expected her ire.</p><p>“Thank you,” she said. “I feel so dizzy.”</p><p>“You're welcome,” he whispered back. Lily moaned a little, rubbing her forehead. “Can I give you something that might help you feel better?” he asked her hesitantly.</p><p>“Yes please,” she said gratefully. “Do you have any blueberry juice?” she asked. “I want it so badly.”</p><p>“Lily, you cannot… juice a blueberry.”</p><p>She huffed. “No I can’t, that's why I'm <em>asking</em>,” she said with a touch of exasperation. </p><p>“No, I mean that <em>no one</em> can. Blueberries aren’t <em>juicy</em>.”</p><p>“Nevermind,” she huffed again. This man was wrong but obviously couldn’t do what she asked anyway. As he stood and turned to retrieve something from a shelf she shivered. “It's so cold here,” she said when he returned with a small bottle and what seemed like a beaded bracelet.</p><p>“It's hot down there. It's late in the summer now and it's been very warm, but every time I've been below the great tree it's hotter than the hottest summer day. And you’re… not wearing much,” he added haltingly.</p><p>Lily glanced down at herself, noting that her dress was completely transparent in the light, high slits exposing both legs, arms bare. She pulled up the blanket that she found next to her uncomfortably, feeling like she was missing something from her brief inventory of her clothing. She yelped as she jostled her hand but wrapped the blanket in front of her and the cloak still on her shoulders tighter around her and he cringed as he held out the little bottle and string of beads to her.</p><p>“Hold this,” he instructed, putting the beads in her uninjured hand, “and drink this.” He uncorked the bottle, holding it out. She grabbed it with the same hand, curious about what he expected this to do for her.</p><p>“What is it?” she asked him, sniffing the contents. It was herbal and spicy, not at all unpleasant.</p><p>“Hopefully something that will help you think more clearly,” he said cautiously. </p><p>Lily nodded, grateful for that. “Thank you for helping me. I don't know what happened,” she told him, squeezing her eyes shut again. “Can you help me get home too?” she asked hopefully. She missed someone <em>terribly</em>.</p><p>“I… yes,” he said slowly, “but drink this first, and then pull this apart,” he told her, tugging a little on the string of beads. “I know that your hand hurts, but you have to do it yourself. It shouldn't be difficult, it's made to snap. Use your thumb.”</p><p>“How did I hurt my hand?” she asked, a bit woozy.</p><p>“You burnt it.”</p><p>“How…”</p><p>“Lily, please. If you drink your memory might come back,” he urged, seeming quite eager for her to complete this task.</p><p>Lily sighed. She <em>did</em> want that. She tipped the bottle against her lips, drinking down the entire contents when she found the first sip sweet. Handing it back to the man in front of her she addressed the breads, pulling the string apart with her thumbs as he suggested. It was indeed easy to snap, dropping and spilling the beads onto her lap and the floor.</p><p>He looked at her eagerly and she rubbed her temple, disappointed. “I don't feel better,” she said.</p><p>“Do you know where your real home is, Lily?” he asked, which did not make much sense to her.</p><p>“Do you mean our private halls?” she ventured, trying to organize the thoughts his question conjured. “they are beyond… beyond the…”</p><p>She heard him sigh. “No, that's not what I mean. It didn't work, we'll have to try something else.” </p><p>“Where is my husband?” she asked, sure that if she could only find him everything would be alright again. The man was silent a long time so she shielded her face and looked at him, observed his miserable expression and the way he could not look back at her. It made her angry in spite of the fact that he seemed to want to help her and she wondered what she could not remember that made him so sullen. “What is your name?” </p><p>He closed his eyes and took another deep breath. “Jack,” he responded calmly.</p><p>Lily looked out the window, noticing with a deep sense of gratitude that twilight was upon them. “It's almost night,” she mumbled, watching the twinkle of the first stars in the dusky grey-blue for the briefest moment, resisting the watering of her eyes. Again she looked to the young man, expecting him to be excited. Night meant <em>safety</em>. He did not look pleased, but he did look resolved.</p><p>“It doesn’t matter. The lanterns will hold.”</p><p>She paused. Did he mean to say that these dreadful lights assaulting them were set <em>purposefully</em>? “<em>Why</em>?”</p><p>“Because I am <em>protecting</em> you, Lily,” he responded patiently.</p><p>“From <em>what</em>?”</p><p>“From <em>Darkness</em>!” he snapped. </p><p>Lily was speechless as her heart sank. That word meant <em>home</em>. “Please don't do that,” she begged. “I need to get <em>back</em> to him.” She thought again of his embrace, the only thing that had not fled her mind once since her arrival, carved too deeply into her soul to slip away. </p><p>Jack scoffed and stood, taking the rabbit's remains with him. He picked up the carelessly discarded bowl and dropped the towel into it, laying it on the table before walking to a shelf, grabbing a few items and returning to her. He had string in his hands and a small knife with a familiar shape, two small candles, a leather pouch and another little bowl. Lily watched warily as he approached her again, unsure that she wanted him nearer.</p><p>“I have something else to try,” he said softly.</p><p>“I don't want to,” she said. “I don't trust you. You're keeping me away from him and you have <em>no right</em>. He <em>will</em> find me. It is almost night,” she pointed to the small window at the head of the little bed, pointed to the dusk falling. </p><p>“The lanterns will keep us safe,” he said patiently.</p><p>“I am <em>safest</em> sleeping between the wolf's paws,” she told him tearfully. “He will find me. He would not let me go and I am glad because I would not leave him. I love him dearly. We shall walk <em>eternity</em> together,” Lily said fervently. She needed him to <em>know</em>. </p><p>Jack closed his eyes a moment. “The enchantment is making you say those things,” he claimed.</p><p>“There is no enchantment except for <em>yours</em>,” she spat, certain that she was right. “You are a fool.” Lily was certain that she was right about that, too.</p><p>He sighed, laying the items he held on the table, picking up the bowl he’d left. “I'm going to go bury this under a tree that needs some help. I'll only be a few minutes.” Jack slung his bag over his shoulder and Lily remembered the flowers, sitting resentfully but saying nothing. He left quietly and she scooted up to the little window, climbing to her knees and popping her arms and head out of it, leaning her chest against the rough sill, letting the blankets drop.</p><p>It was slightly less bright outside than inside and she took a deep breath in relief though she covered her eyes, only peeking out to see how much farther the night had risen. Jack returned quite shortly and Lily pulled herself inside as she heard him climbing up, settling the blankets around her again.</p><p>As he walked in she made the mistake of quickly looking up into the room again, pain assaulting her head and her hand as it flew to protect her eyes. Again she was disoriented and sat moaning quietly.</p><p>The door closed and the bed dipped before the soft voice came. “Are you alright?” he asked, not touching her.</p><p>“Not really,” she sighed. “What was your name again?”</p><p>“Jack,” he said, seeming almost relieved. “Can I try the other spell now?” He asked cautiously. “It may help you feel better.”</p><p><em>Oh</em>. A spell that might help this headache, might clear her thoughts, might make her feel less ill? “Yes, that sounds wonderful,” she said gratefully.</p><p>He stood and she kept her eyes closed, hoping that Jack could help her get home also. When he came back he sat and she squinted to watch him pour the contents of a pouch into a bowl, some mix of dried herbs. He picked up a string and she noticed something dangling from it and leaned in a little, seeing a tiny piece of rolled parchment tied to it. “Hold your hands out?” he requested and she did so, letting him tie it around them both in a loop. He made a series of knots and then reached to the bedside table to retrieve a match, lighting the herbs and the black and red candles he’d brought, holding them one by one over the knots to coat them with drops of the wax.</p><p>Lily sniffed, noting the familiar scent of the herbs. “Is this meant to break an unwelcome love spell?” she asked, noting the number of knots and the color of the candles.</p><p>“Yes,” he admitted slowly, glancing up at her and back down again as he set the candles down in the dish and retrieved the knife. “How do you know that?” </p><p>“I have books,” she told him, as though that was more than enough explanation. She thought that it was.</p><p>He was quiet but held out his hand for hers and she held them aloft, ready to be through with this. He cut the string with the little knife and looked at her oddly, as though she had something to say to him now.</p><p>“Do you feel any different?” he asked, and she wondered what he had expected to happen. </p><p>“No.” She still felt ill.</p><p>He seemed discouraged as he got up to put his things away but she looked to the window again, delighted to find the sky finally darkening. Lily looked down at her left hand and flexed her fingers just a tiny bit. Why was her hand wrong? It it was too <em>light</em>.</p><p>Her ring.</p><p>“Where is my ring?” she asked in a sudden panic. She needed it, she <em>needed</em> it.</p><p>“Lily, sometimes <em>objects</em> can carry enchantment. Large pieces of jewelry are often used for this,” he explained, but she was shaking her head.</p><p>“No, that was <em>mine</em>. I want it <em>back</em>. Where is it? <em>Where is it</em>?”</p><p>“I got rid of it. Buried, along with that other… thing.”</p><p>She gasped, her hand flying to her chest in remembrance. “His <em>heart</em>,” she whimpered sadly, eyes welling. Jack did not seem to understand.</p><p>There was a sudden disturbance outside, a ripple that was not quite movement and not quite sound though it swept over them in a tangible wave. Lily looked outside as the trees shook and the grass bowed over, closed her eyes and inhaled deeply as the faint vibration that carried an echo reached them, a bellow of furious rage just under hearing but felt deeply in her gut. The very oak that they sat in shook as she smiled, her tears now turning to joy.</p><p>“He's awake,” she whispered. Jack did not respond, but his breath quickened as the aftershocks rang through his home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Nobody's on Jack's side, here? Really? Zero votes for Jack so far? Nobody thinks he'll survive this? Mkay. </p><p>I'm so amused.</p><p>Announcement: I will be... returning to work soon. I will have significantly less free time. This means that updates might be a little slower, but I am VERY much hoping not *too* much slower. I'm actually hopeful that my obsessive mania will allow me to update with exremely little delay, but we'll see.</p><p>Please know if there are any delays that there is ZERO danger of this story everEVERever being discontinued or put on extended "hiatus." Just wait a couple of days. If it doesn't come I'm dead or critically injured.</p><p>Fun fact: author is 100% a vegetarian. XD</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Through Dreams</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Outside the air was thick though the rage that had swept over them in rippling waves had stilled. Dark menace hung heavy around the trees but the light inside was so bright even spilling from the windows that she could not reach it when she leaned out while ignoring Jack's protests.</p><p>“He's very angry,” Lily stated unnecessarily once she was fully inside again, settling with a hand over her eyes.</p><p>“I'm sure he is,” Jack responded, the venom in his voice sounding quite foreign to it, or at least it seemed so to her.</p><p>“He doesn't like it when I'm away.” Jack was silent and she was really having a difficult time not being overwhelmed by tears every few seconds. “I don't like <em>being</em> away.”</p><p>He looked at her, his expression turning sympathetic as he observed her distress. “I truly <em>am</em> sorry that this hurts you, Lily,” he said softly. She did not respond. “Would you be willing to drink something?” he asked her, composed again.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>He sighed. “It's something different than the others. The others were for if he put something <em>on</em> you, but this would be for if he put something… <em>in</em> you.”</p><p>Lily inhaled sharply and covered her belly with her hands over the blanket. “<em>Absolutely not</em>,” she snapped immediately. </p><p>“No,” he said calmly, “I mean like a poison, but one that lingers, holds on like barbs from a nettle but on the inside.”</p><p>“I don't want it. I'm tired and I'm hungry and just want to wait for him to come for me. If there’s anything wrong he'll help me once I'm home.”</p><p>“You're hungry <em>again</em>?” </p><p>“Yes, <em>and</em>?” she asked irritably.</p><p>“Nothing, it's just that you ate a lot more than I could at once less than an hour ago.”</p><p>“Well it's not my fault the baby is hungry all the time,” she sobbed out. “My beloved would have just given me something to <em>eat</em> by now,” she moaned. “You don't understand. I wake up just <em>famished</em> and have to eat three, four times every single time we sleep. Even now, I'm <em>so tired</em> but I don't think I could sleep without eating something. Do you have any fruit?” she asked and he sighed. </p><p>“No. I really, <em>really</em> wish that I did, because if I <em>did</em> I probably would have spent three days gathering it to make sure that I had enough for both of us, then gone out again just after dawn to pick berries because they're your favorite and I wanted them to be fresh and perfect, but that is <em>not</em> what happened. Instead I have nothing.”</p><p>Lily grunted in frustration, squeezing her eyes shut, fingers kneading at her temples. She couldn't figure out what he was on about and didn’t much care. “Anything else? Cheese?”</p><p>He sighed again but it was less agitated, bringing him back to the mild temper that suited him. “I'm sorry, Lily. I'm frustrated but it’s not your fault, none of this is. I don't have any cheese and I don’t think that I should hunt at night. I promise I will go at first light. Would you like the rest of my honey? I don't have anything for you to eat it with, but-"</p><p>“Yes, I want that.”</p><p>He nodded, finding the honey pot again. “Do you want a spoon?” He asked, opening it up to lift the little wooden thing and let it drip.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p> “You got blood in it.”</p><p> “I truly don't care,” she insisted and he breathed deeply, nodding.</p><p>“I see that.” Lily huffed.</p><p>“Can I have it please? And… some water?”</p><p>Jack handed over the honey pot with the spoon inside and she started scooping out sticky, satisfyingly sweet dips, chasing little streaks of red with the spoon. After a minute he retuned to hand her a cup which she sipped at but as soon as the liquid inside passed her lips her tongue caught on fire, painful and startling. She spat it to the floor and kept spitting, taking another spoon of honey and swirling it in her mouth until the burn had calmed, spitting that too.</p><p>“What the name of <em>everything</em> unholy did you give to me?” she demanded, looking up at him. The roof of her mouth and tongue were sore still and she made an angry noise and threw the cup at him hard. It might have hit him were his reflexes less sharp but he neatly turned, ducking a bit, and it broke against a shelf behind him, pottery shards scattering with a splash of clear liquid. “You injure me,” she spat once he faced her again. His demeanor remained gentle despite her outburst. “My mouth is burnt, what if I had swallowed?”</p><p>“I'm sorry, I didn't think it would hurt you. I won't do that again.”</p><p>“Oh good, he won't continue to <em>poison</em> me,” Lily grumbled sarcastically.</p><p>Jack was quiet, moving to clean up. Lily continued to consume the honey until it was gone and she was scraping the pot with the little spoon, then swiping her fingers against the inside and licking them clean. She looked around the room for something shiny, for some reason sure that she needed to handle it for a moment. The only thing she could spot was his dagger but she doubted he'd allow her to use it. She couldn’t quite remember what to do with it anyway.</p><p>Outside there was a bright flash and a deafening roll of thunder, followed immediately by heavy rain that fell in forceful sheets. Jack jumped but Lily did not, smiling softly instead. </p><p>“It didn't look like rain was coming,” Jack said, staring out of a window, watching the drops blow in and collect, seeping back out through slight cracks in his floorboards. From the pattern of their warping it did not seem like he ever took much care to keep it out.</p><p>“He's looking for me,” Lily told him, taking a deep calming breath, comforted by the scent of the rain. She suspected there would be a small flood soon.</p><p>She could not figure out her next course of action but yawned widely. “I'm very tired,” she told Jack, “But I want you to promise not to do anything to me while I rest. No charms, no spells. Don't <em>touch</em> me. Will you promise?”</p><p>He sighed and hesitated but she stared hard at him and he relented. “Yes, I promise.”</p><p>Lily nodded, hoping quite fervently that his word was enough. She had no choice but to accept it unless she thought that she could just stay awake, which she <em>didn't</em>. “Do you have a heavier blanket? And maybe something to shield my eyes from this light?” Lily ran her fingertips softly over her cheeks, the skin sensitive and tight. She'd been so concerned with her head and her hand that she had not tended to this ever increasing itch. Perhaps she should have saved some of the honey for it.</p><p>Jack opened a trunk that she had not noticed at the foot of the bed, emerging with a long cloak made from silver wolf fur. He placed it over her and she settled it eagerly, reminded again of <em>something.</em> She took that moment as he walked back to the trunk to bury her face in the fur, feeling soothed by the texture. Jack returned to her side with a scrap of white cloth, much finer than anything else he seemed to own. Delicate lace edged the richly woven linen handkerchief that he unfolded and rolled into what she knew was meant to be a makeshift blindfold.</p><p>“Do you remember this?” he asked, eyes on his hands as he straightened the cloth. “You gave it to me.”</p><p>Lily looked at the handkerchief. Seeing it rolled in that way felt bittersweet, reminding her of magic and beautiful things but also of a strangely disappointing moment in which she realized that the word <em>trust</em> did not mean the same thing to everyone. That thought brought her to the memory of a different cloth placed over her eyes, a darker one, this image coming with fierce notes of longing and no bitterness but the bitter need to return. Trust did mean the same thing to <em>someone</em>.</p><p>She did not answer him, instead holding out her hand silently. He handed the handkerchief to her also without speaking, watching her struggle to tie it with her sore, bandaged hand without comment. Finally she managed it but the pale fabric only partially blocked the light. The addition of the cloak's hood as she turned her face to the pillow worked well enough that she could relax once she felt him leave the bed.</p><p>Peeking out from her covered little nest showed her Jack settling against the door with his bag, closing his eyes as he sat. “Did I take all of your blankets in addition to your bed?” she asked him.</p><p>He looked at her, shrugging. “I used to sleep in old fox dens and tree hollows. I'm fine.”</p><p>“I was curious, not concerned.” She rolled her eyes before covering them. He said nothing.</p><p>Lily snuggled back down, finally feeling cozy and warmed through under the fur though the bed was harder and the sheet scratchier than she would’ve liked. In spite of less than ideal conditions her fatigue was rather intense and the sound of heavy rain and thunder helped ease her nerves, sending her drifting as she clung to the memory of those arms wrapped around her as she slept, pulling the fur tighter and rocking in the bed to pin it under her weight and keep it snug. It was a poor substitute for the warm skin and solid muscle that she craved but it was enough to drive the subtlest of fantasies, just a thought, an echoed sensation of security that helped her find her dreams.</p>
<hr/><p>Before Lily even realized that she was present in this nostalgic blackness she was made aware of someone <em>else</em>. The very same limbs that she had been craving wrapped around her tightly and she was held to his chest as his lips pressed to hers, lifted as her legs found his waist. The moment after she felt his kiss she remembered herself, though her head was still fuzzy in the milder way of dreams. She moaned but he was speaking, not breaking contact as he hissed lowly into her mouth, voice more frantic than she had ever heard it.</p><p>“Where <em>are</em> you?”</p><p>“In the forest somewhere,” she gasped.</p><p>“<em>Where</em>?!”</p><p>“I don't know, it's a house in an oak.” She hated to even have to say this to him but it was true and she badly needed him to find her <em>soon</em>. “It's Jack's house. Jack took me.”</p><p>“Ja-<em>ck</em>?” he spat the name as though it were a sour taste on his tongue, the sharp click of it a predatory and inhuman sound. His grip on her tightened even further and she only squeezed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck to better savor his nearness though he was showing his agitation. He knew that name, knew <em>exactly</em> who the owner of it was and who he was to <em>her</em>. </p><p>“I want to come home. I <em>miss</em> you,” she whimpered, her emotions getting the better of her as she could not seem to prevent them from doing lately. “I'm sorry. I didn't leave, I didn’t <em>leave</em>,” she babbled against his lips while leaving small, frenzied little kisses behind.</p><p>He moaned low in his throat, unable to keep enough separation for words any longer, lips sealing themselves firmly to hers though she noticed the slightest distance of sensation. The pressure and heat of his lips and arms were not quite what they usually were and it frustrated her though she was glad for every bit of contact with him. It felt like <em>forever</em> since he had been wrapped around her, since she had been wrapped around <em>him</em>, since she had been <em>whole</em> and she couldn’t help holding him as closely as she could, tightening her thighs and rocking her hips against his delightfully textured abdomen with a small lustful noise of her own.</p><p>It was like their first kiss- their <em>very</em> first kiss before their lips had touched truly, yet this time all the more temping because she knew his flesh, knew the fullest sensations of his lips and the true heat of his body which seemed now <em>just</em> out of reach. This time differed also in that as he curled his tongue into her mouth she pulled back with a less expected moan, startled and pained.</p><p>“What's happened?” he asked, pulling back only slightly to observe her, embrace still unyielding. </p><p>“He has all of these spells and charms, he's collected all manner of things to try to break bonds and love spells, now he tries to drive your influence <em>out</em> of me. He thinks that I am enthralled to you and seeks to break your hold. The last one hurt but I spat it out before it got past my tongue. My mouth feels burnt now.”</p><p>“My love, you <em>must not</em> let him,” he hissed, entire body immediately growing tense. “The dark is not contained inside of you, it is your flesh and spirit now. We are connected at the very soul. Making too strong of an attempt would have dire consequences. He could <em>kill</em> you, Lily.”</p><p>“What?” She gasped, stricken. “He cannot. I am… I am like you now, I am immortal.”</p><p>“You are <em>not</em> like me,” he snarled at her harshly, hands moving to grip her arms as he shook her once. Though he did not mean it the way it sounded, she could not help but flinch. “You were mortal once. You are susceptible to no natural death, no injury, no disease, but if he rips the very force that sustains your life <em>out of you,</em> you will <em>perish</em>. We <em>cannot</em> allow him to do it. If he takes you from me truly I will not only rip his heart from his chest as he still lives, I will wage war on humanity the like of which has never been seen. I will raze their cities to the ground, burn their idols, create new oceans with the blood of their children, utterly <em>decimate</em> everything that man has <em>ever</em> sought to build. They will not know peace again until their <em>extinction</em>,” he promised, his voice low and sharp. </p><p>The rage in his eyes had built steadily as he spoke and Lily laid her hands to his face, stroked his cheeks to try to calm him. “Do not, beloved. He is one man,” she whispered shakily, frightened more at the prospect of being taken from him than the consequences he described. “I won't let him, I swear. I <em>will</em> come home to you.”</p><p>He blew out a harsh breath, looking gravely into her eyes. “There is an even greater chance that he will kill our child,” he told her bluntly. </p><p>Lily grabbed his cheeks, eyes misting over at the thought. The bandage on her hand was gone and her fingers hurt but his suggestion hurt more and she took no notice. “Don't say so,” she pleaded, though she knew it wouldn’t take away the terrifying possibility. </p><p>He shook his head, hand slipping into her hair and gripping it firmly as he held her close. “Strong the babe may be but I cannot predict the limits of what they might withstand and I cannot protect you when I cannot even <em>find</em> you.” His eyes closed a moment as he took a breath, quick and deep, focusing again. “Why can I not see you? I have been searching to no avail. Even now that night has risen you are hidden from me.”</p><p>“Lanterns full of sunlight, lining every corner. I tried to put one out, but…” she pulled back to present her hand to him, noting the severity of the injury which looked quite a bit worse than she'd thought. He hissed at the sight. Not as she might with a pained inhale, but as a cat would with his lips pulled back to bare his teeth, fangs on display as he exhaled angrily from the back of his throat.</p><p>His hand was around her wrist as he examined it, body taught with fury. He looked back to her face, leaning in more closely and inspecting her skin. “Your face is burnt. I thought that you were flushed, but your <em>skin</em> is <em>burnt</em>. That boy will <em>suffer</em> for this,” he declared, a strangled rasp in his voice.</p><p>“My love, <em>please</em> try to see that he has no ill intent. He does not understand. He thinks that you keep me against my will.” Lily was angry with Jack but a great deal less so than she might’ve expected, aware as she was that his actions truly came from a place of love, from a desire to see her out of harm. As much as she wanted to be away from him and <em>never</em> see him again, as angry and hurt and scared as she felt now she still did not want Jack's life in payment. </p><p>“If I did I would still have his heart for stealing mine away.” He raised her hand and pressed his lips firmly to the back of it, struggling to control his breath as she watched.</p><p>“If only I can make him understand I'm sure he'll let me go.”</p><p>“And then I will hunt him and flay him once you are with me again,” he ground out through clenched teeth, opening his eyes to stare intently at her without moving his lips away. </p><p>“I would have you spare him,” she whispered reluctantly. He only made an angry, bestial noise in response as his intense gaze stayed fixed. “I'm <em>asking</em> you to show him mercy for my sake,” she said, her other hand still on his cheek.</p><p>“Mercy is <em>not</em> my domain,” he returned. “The only mercy that has ever been shown to me is the touch of these sweet fingers which he has ripped out of mine and burnt. How could you even ask it of me?”</p><p>Lily tried hard not to care for Jack's life, knowing that his place in her heart, however insignificant when compared against her lord's claim was a pain to him, an affront to his purest devotion. Her love for Jack was a memory now and a juvenile one at that, but the thought of him meeting his end for misguided deeds done for love of her made her angry, an anger that she did not want to feel directed at her beloved but knew that she would be unable to prevent. Her protection of Jack may hurt him but she suspected that should she find herself upset with him for Jack's death and struggling with forgiveness the wound to them both would be deeper and more lasting. </p><p>“I wish that I did not need to. I'm sorry.”</p><p>His face was pained as his eyes closed and his hand gripped her wrist just a little tighter. “Then plead for his life later, I cannot hear it now while you are still with him,” he said quietly.</p><p>Lily could give him that much, and what's more she was certain of something else that might ease him. “You should know that it is only revenge for which I would not see his death. If holding a blade to his throat is what I must do to free myself I will not hesitate to kill him so that I might crawl over his body and back to your arms.” She would regret doing it, but that would <em>not</em> stop her.</p><p>He let out a stuttering breath and pressed his face into her neck, his arm around her pulling her in again. “You must find a way to put yourself in shadow,” he said urgently. “Hide your face beneath something even for the briefest moment and I should be able to see you, but it must be dark enough. Call to me, I will be listening, waiting.”</p><p>“He took my ring,” she told him miserably. “I could have called you that way or called the magpie and had her lead you to me, but there’s nothing at <em>all</em> for me to scry with.”</p><p>“A glass of water?” </p><p>Lily grunted in frustration at herself, though she then remembered why she hadn't thought of it. “My memory is gone,” she said suddenly. “I remember everything here but there it’s all just bits and pieces. He's told me his name so many times now. He thinks it's some spell but it's his lanterns.”</p><p>“It is,” he said, tense again, head lifting to look at her. “Sunlight has taken your memory in addition to leaving you scorched. It is only here in dark dreams that you are whole again,” he said in a rushed murmur. </p><p>“It has been only with you that I am whole since my very first dream in this world of shadows,” she said, touching her nose to his cheek, running up the sharp bones there. </p><p>“Even when I find you I cannot touch you in the sun. I will send my creatures who can walk between but you must attempt also to escape the lights. They are certainly enchanted and if they are so very disorienting the brethren may not be able to approach. Once I find you I will send your bird with something for your memory. Try to hold on to this clarity until then, <em>do not</em> open your eyes.”</p><p>“Where is Gump in all of this? I’m sure that he knows where this house sits. He can't have known that Jack was planning this or he would have done something, but there's no way he did not feel <em>you</em>...” she broke off tearfully, looking at him and thinking of that moment when the forest had shaken, when she had felt his heart bleed to beat next to hers and his soul bellow out her name from a world away.</p><p>“Oh, I have already sent for him but he seems to have quite neatly <em>disappeared</em>.”</p><p>“I am also hungry,” she admitted quietly as he went still. “He prepared to house me with fruit that I cannot eat. He gave me a rabbit but you know my appetite these days.” He said nothing to this but could not suppress a growl. “He says he will hunt at dawn.”</p><p>He lifted his legs to cradle her, both of them floating in the inky blackness that stretched forever just like the sky of the Endless Night, only this blackness was crowded with shadows that swirled in a manner she recognized, visible to her in a way that she didn’t remember them being in long ago dreams. All of the smoky Darkness that swirled around their bodies shifted and dissipated between them as they touched, obscuring to the eye but not the fingers.</p><p>It was not a complete surprise when he lifted the arm from around her back to sink a fang into his own wrist and wipe the blood that seeped from the wound onto hers but she did gasp in pain at the sight, hating to see him injured though she knew that something so small fazed him little. Blood was a common ingredient in healing ointments for dark immortals, key but only so effective on its own. She did have to admit that it made it feel better.</p><p>“I put rabbit's blood and honey on it,” she said wearily, watching him bleed on her carefully.</p><p>He shook his head lightly. “This is no ordinary wound. You have been burnt by <em>sunlight</em>.” He stopped, frustrated. “When you wake my blood will not go with you. I can only do so much here, which is very little.” He held his wrist up to her mouth and she obediently put her lips to it, taking some of his blood to coat her sore tongue, trying to keep it in her mouth as long as she could before swallowing. “<em>Starve my expectant queen</em>,” he muttered bitterly. Lily sighed.</p><p>“I tried to wake my father, ask him for counsel, but he answers me not. I know that he hears my pleas and chooses to ignore them. He has forsaken me at this desperate hour.” He wrapped both arms around her heedless of his still bleeding wrist, his gaze more tormented than enraged as he described this abandonment that he must feel as a betrayal. “I was <em>never</em> content before you, I understand that now. I had grown resigned, used to the silence. I am <em>not</em> used to it anymore. Now that I have tasted the sanctuary of your love the lack of it is unbearable and the seconds are stretching to hours.”</p><p>“You do <em>not</em> lack it,” she insisted, gripping his face tightly, mindful of her bloody fingers, “You <em>always</em> have my love. <em>Always.”</em></p><p>“But without you by my side I am torn and incomplete, bereft of all joy and comfort. I had almost forgotten what it was like. I cannot even find that breath of peace you have gifted me. I am alone with myself again, and there is <em>nothing</em> inside of me that is not rage and pain. Nothing except my love for you.” His grip was tight about her ribs but Lily did not think it was the reason she had such trouble breathing as he spoke, his face so near. “This separation cannot be borne, I <em>do not</em> wish to return to being alone. I am damned to suffer, for I am made of nothing else. You are my <em>only</em> shelter. You must find a way to escape the lights so that I can bring you home. You <em>must</em>.”</p><p>“I will, I swear to you,” Lily breathed, her mouth sealing against his. His lips were fierce but his tongue was gentle as it touched her in the barest caress and she could not stand his holding back, pursuing his kiss aggressively and pouring every bit of this longing for him that she could barely contain into his mouth with her own. She did not care that it still hurt, could not pass up this opportunity to taste him now that they had said what needed saying and he was still within reach. </p><p>“You first kissed me in dreams,” she said softly as she pulled away to look at him again.</p><p>It was the first time he’d smiled since this dream had begun- just the tiniest twitch of his lip, the slightest playful squint to his eye, but exactly what Lily had hoped to see. She knew what would come next. “I think you'll find that <em>you</em> kissed <em>me,”</em> he corrected warmly. </p><p>“Did I?” she asked breathily, staring into his eyes and resting her lips just against his. It was one of his very <em>favorite</em> facts in the entire compendium of the universe's collective knowledge and she knew it.</p><p>He did not say anything back, only kissed her again with more fervor. Lily clung tightly to him, thinking of long ago dreams in which he had stirred her first real rush of lust, awoken her to foreign and adult delights that frightened as much as they pleased, terrifying and thrilling at once just like him. This time she kissed him with no fear and no guilt in her heart, only an abiding love that shook her to her very soul and the absolute certainty that they <em>belonged</em> to one another.</p><p>His hands moved to her thighs and the shadows curled away from her, lifting and dissipating darkly as they tended to do. When his kisses moved to her throat her head drifted back and she said to him dazedly, “Do you know that right after the first time we kissed, I woke up and I was so… so… I couldn't stop <em>thinking</em> about you…”</p><p>“<em>Yes</em>,” he purred out encouragingly, nipping at her, making her whimper. </p><p>“And I tried not to do it but I couldn't help myself. It was too much, it almost <em>hurt</em>.” Her grip traveled down his arms and she took one of his hands and dragged it inward, looking at him as she brushed his fingers against her slickness. “I thought of you and I did <em>this</em>,” she whispered, rocking her hips, pushing his fingers through her folds. “I’d done it before but it was the very… very first time I ever… <em>oh</em>,” she moaned as his fingers began pressing more firmly against her, making the little circles that he knew better than she did.</p><p>“The very first?” he asked, his breath labored. Lily nodded, gripping his hardness between them. He bore his teeth at her in a different way than he had done earlier, swiping them against her throat and making her shiver. “I watched you pleasure yourself after that dream but I did not realize it was your first true taste of ecstasy,” he groaned, biting her neck gently. Lily paused.</p><p>“You <em>watched</em> me?” she asked. He did <em>not</em> pause, continuing to tease her with tongue and teeth, nodding. “Lecher,” she mumbled, deciding to scold him for it properly once she was home and <em>truly</em> in his arms. The better to bite his nose and then kiss it and forget it all as he caught her up in sensual distraction. </p><p>“Undoubtedly,” he responded, seeking her lips once more. All she really wanted at that moment was what he gave her next, to be close to him and feel his skin, feel him press inside of her, lifting her gently and holding her close. Lily moaned loudly as he sank himself deep, thankful for this time with him though they were not <em>really</em> together as they should be and though each sensation seemed just a bit muted.</p><p>Muted though it was, Lily was <em>ravenous</em> for him. Though it had been perhaps something like a day it seemed a small eternity since they were last joined, not only an undesirable but also an <em>unnatural</em> length of time, especially now that her body was hungrier than ever for absolutely everything. She met his tongue with hers and steadied herself on his shoulders while he ground her in his lap, drawing soft sighs and mewling whimpers from her throat.</p><p>She wanted him <em>so badly,</em> wanted to be home with him safe in their bed, away from the horrid, torturous sun and this other man whom she no longer loved, had not loved since she was a child. She wanted to let him feed her and run his fingers through her hair, wanted to wrap her arms and legs around his powerful body and welcome him into hers <em>outside</em> of her dreams, somewhere where she could sleep and wake with him and then do it all over again. </p><p>He held her up and pushed in and out of her in long, slow strokes, keeping her eyes and savoring her skin under his fingers. One of his hands moved protectively over her belly while he bumped her nose with his, nipping and pulling at her lips. It reached up to pinch her nipples gently before moving back down again, his thumb rubbing around her tender bud until she was uttering quiet, halting cries, the slight numbness of the atmosphere keeping her from finding her release though she was already overdue.</p><p>Her hands on his shoulders dug in, nails anchoring into his skin and rewarding her with a deep groan, less sharp than it might have been were sensation more keen. She moved her fingers a little and scratched him again, always willing to give him a touch of the sting which pushed him just <em>that</em> much higher. His moan was followed by a shudder this time which vibrated through her as it brought her a little closer to bliss, muscles clenching as he drove into her faster, working his thumb harder against her.</p><p>Lily cried out shakily as she felt her crest <em>just</em> within in reach, holding desperately to him as she rocked forwards involuntarily to meet his thrusts. His breath and the tension of his body told her that he was as close as she was and she looked at him and forgot their distance, forgot that she was not really in his arms and that these were not really his lips moving to kiss her, forgot that this was only a dream.</p><p><em>But it isn’t</em>, she thought gratefully, knowing that these dreams were so much more, had <em>always</em> been. <em>It isn’t just a dream. He's here with me. We're together,</em> and this she repeated to herself, comforted by the thought. <em>We're together now. Together.</em></p><p>
  <em>Together.</em>
</p><p>Just before she could find rapture with him she was ripped away, pulled back to consciousness like a current pulling her back to a lonely shore.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter took longer to write than I thought (being already mostly written long ago) but it just kept getting longer and now you guys basically got a twofer.</p><p>It's also very roughly edited and will be better edited later because I am very tired now but wanted to get it up for you all before I conked out. &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Human Hearts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lily groaned as she awoke, <em>thoroughly</em> frustrated. Remembering her lord's advice in time she did not remove the hood or handkerchief to find what had woken her but her curiosity at the very least was satisfied when Jack's voice came tentatively again.</p><p>“Lily? <em>Lily</em>,” he called louder, sounding a bit jumpy.</p><p>“<em>What</em>?” She said irritably, not at <em>all</em> pleased with his intrusion. </p><p>“I have something for you to eat. I got you a deer. It's a lot, but I thought that if a rabbit didn't hold you an hour maybe it was for the best.” </p><p>“Oh,” she sighed, still tired and irritable but glad to have food and also a bit pleasantly surprised by his considerate choice and his willingness to make it. “Thank you, Jack. I’m sure that wasn't easy for you.” Jack was not a killer by his nature and held onto friendships with each animal he came across. His willingness to hunt didn’t likely take away his pain in doing it and though she thought that it was the <em>very least</em> he could do for her now she recognized his effort.</p><p>He was silent a time before continuing. “I really don't want you to be uncomfortable here, Lily. I hope you know that.” She did know. “I, ah… I cut up her body outside and brought it up,” he said quietly. “I already buried her head and her intestines but I saved her other organs because you ate those… and… do you want any of this cooked?”</p><p>“I do prefer cooked meat, generally,” she told him, “but I just don't care as much as I used to and I’m so damned <em>hungry</em> all the time.” Lily heard him get up and move around, recognizing the sound of wood and metal and flame. She remembered something else her lord had said during her dream and took the moment to duck herself completely under the fur, tenting it a little then pulling the edges tightly around her head. </p><p>Blessed darkness surrounded her and she sighed in pleasure and relief, pushing the handkerchief down past her chin. She opened her eyes to the blackness and whispered softly, anxiously, “Beloved?” just once before luminous peridot winked open before her. Lily gasped in excitement and joy, staring into his eyes so close to her, wishing that she could hold him. A familiar sensation ghosted across her lips, that soft kiss that he loved to touch her with during unexpected moments when she was not in arm's reach. It filled her with such longing to be with him that her chest felt tight and her eyes ached again, but now Jack was speaking to her and she didn't want him to know what she was doing.</p><p>Lily inhaled and kissed the shadow back softly though her lips landed only on a wisp of feeling, a slight tingling energy. Still the eyes within it hooded and stared at her with the same longing she felt, such that she deeply regretted tugging the handkerchief back into place and emerging from the fur.</p><p>“What did you say?” she asked, having been too distracted to catch Jack's muffled words.</p><p>“I have this for you,” he repeated softly, close enough that she thought he must be crouching by the bedside. Lily sat up, the fall of the hood letting just the tiniest bit of light reach her eyes. She felt something hard touch her hand, finding as she grasped it that it was a large bowl, perhaps the same one he'd given her the rabbit in. It was hot and something else gently touched her injured hand which turned out to be the handle of a spoon. “There’s plenty more if you eat that and you’re still hungry. All of it is for you.”</p><p>She thanked him softly, thinking of what to do next while blindly scooping hot chunks of gamey meat into her mouth. It was a bit bland as it seemed he'd done little to it, not knowing what besides plain flesh she'd be able to stomach, for which she was grateful. She'd eaten no crop grown above for who <em>knew</em> how long, had used no herb that was not already bitter and medicinal. When she had eaten enough to settle her stomach and think more easily she paused to speak with him.</p><p>“Jack, my memory is much clearer right now than it has been and I'd really like to discuss all of this with you,” she said, hoping to have a reasonable conversation. His first gesture of the day had helped her tuck her anger away as best as she could and she was very hopeful that she could somehow help him realize his mistake, truly sure that he would respect her wishes if he only understood that they <em>were</em> hers. </p><p>“Of course,” he said, and she heard the brief scrape of furniture legs as she assumed he took a seat at his little table.</p><p>She thought a moment on how to approach the subject, tricky as it was for the very reason that he seemed to have gotten very <em>good</em> advice from someone. “Jack, I can see why you think that I am not myself. I gave you no reason to believe that I would make this choice and to suddenly disappear and turn up later in the arms of someone you cannot fathom as anything but an enemy, yes, binding or enthrallment does indeed sound likely. I happen to know something about magical enthrallment also, and you’re right. It can be very difficult to tell the difference between genuine devotion and a skillfully applied spell, especially if you don’t know what to look for.” Such spells came to know their captives, twisted their thoughts and memories, tried to convince the <em>bespelled</em> though sometimes one might catch signs of struggle if they fought against it. She had seen it before.</p><p>“Yes, and I know that you will tell me just about anything to get back to your captor,” he said gently. </p><p>Lily sighed deeply. That would <em>also</em> be true, were he correct. “And I would also say about anything to return to the man that I love, my lord and husband of nearly half a century, the father of my child. Wouldn’t you think so?”</p><p>“He's not a <em>man,</em> Lily. This is not just some man that you met and fell in love with. That <em>monster</em> cannot love you.”</p><p>“I understand why you think so, Jack. I truly do. I thought the same thing once, but I know more about the nature of the universe than I used to,” she said, ignoring the rest of his comment. Her lord <em>wasn’t</em> a man but it did not matter to her in the least. “Everything living is endowed with the love of the Mother. Her love is the very essence of creation and her love is <em>all</em> love. It is not possible to <em>live</em> without it inside of you. Nothing alive that can feel anything at all is incapable. Does he not live? Do you not believe that he feels anything? You have seen his rage but I tell you that I have seen much more.”</p><p>“Lily…” Jack tried to interject but did not seem to know what to say.</p><p>“He has no natural joys, but I have made him smile. I have <em>brought</em> him joy. He is inclined towards violence and cruelty because wrath is what does live within him, and yet he can be gentle. You think it is impossible but I tell you that I have known his gentleness. He is capable. He <em>does</em> love me.”</p><p>“You are blinded right now, Lily,” he said quietly, though there was the slightest undercurrent of hesitance which gave her hope.</p><p>“Only by your lanterns, Jack,” she told him, unable to leave the irony of his statement uncommented upon. She sighed when he remained silent. “I do not know if I will be able to convince him not to kill you,” she said gravely. “He is eager to keep me happy but he is very, <em>very</em> angry. I’d like to claim that his love is greater than his wrath, but what you have done conflates the issue. I fear that his rage will overwhelm him.”</p><p>“I'll just have to take that chance,” he declared.</p><p>Lily shook her head and pressed one hand over the hood, closing off the minimal light that it let through. “You tempt your life for nothing. I will return to him one way or another. I would prefer it not to be at your expense but the odds of your survival will be significantly greater if you just <em>let me go</em>.”</p><p>“I can't do that,” he insisted.</p><p>“Not in <em>any</em> manner, it appears,” she huffed, remembering her ring on his finger, her frustration returning.</p><p>“No, I suppose not,” he admitted, voice thick with such resentment that she almost peeked out at him. The man before her was a great deal heavier of spirit than the one she remembered, gentle as ever but without the carefree air that had always clung to him before. He was more articulate as well but still a little quiet, now in a more thoughtful, less shy, less childlike way.</p><p>“Where is Gump? He cannot have thought any of this was a good idea. He's aware that I am under no spell.”</p><p>“Gump is not <em>welcome</em> here anymore. <em>None</em> of them are. I’ve had wards against the fay in and around this tree for years now, at least the last four constantly, on and off before that when I wanted them to leave me be. They are a selfish, cruel people who care nothing for the rest of us except the entertainment we provide them,” he said quietly but harshly.</p><p>“What has he done to earn such contempt from you?” she asked, hearing him take a deep breath.</p><p>“It's not only him. Each and every one of them is self-serving and fickle. No one visits without swiping something, though they’re sure to leave a token in it's place that you absolutely don't want. They never give straight answers just because our confusion is amusing, they overstay, they scatter when it suits them and they will turn on you at a moment's notice because the wind changed direction. Sometimes they do worse things, too. Dance your entire <em>life</em> away if you let them.”</p><p>Lily was quiet a moment, taking in his words and his tone, the sharp way he'd bitten out his last statement. “Sounds like you put them up for <em>someone</em> specific, if not Gump.”</p><p>He made a strangely annoyed sound that almost made her laugh as the legs of his stool shifted just a little on the floor. “Maybe I did,” he conceded. It did not seem like he would say more and she did not feel inclined to pursue it until he added, “The same one who finally told me where you were, but not out of <em>kindness.”</em></p><p>Lily was still and quiet, suddenly <em>much</em> more interested. “Why, then?”</p><p>“Because she is a cruel and wicked sprite and she understands how to hurt people. She has been using you to hurt me for a <em>long</em> time now and I'm sure that this was supposed to just be the grandest blow she could have dealt me, to show me where you really were, except that she didn’t expect me to get you <em>out.”</em></p><p>“How was she using me to hurt you?” Lily asked, unable to stifle her curiosity and her growing unease. The sound of wings came from nearby and she grew excited, hoping that this was already her familiar. A slight scuffling pressure on her knee and a short peck confirmed it for her as she felt something fall against her hand and into her lap before the bird flew off again. </p><p>“That was odd,” Jack said after a time, sounding suspicious but unsure of what to ask her. It seemed that he hadn’t seen whatever her magpie had dropped and Lily was glad.</p><p>“What was it? I just felt something on my knee.” She swiped her hand along her leg, discreetly finding the small bundle that was doubtless from her lord. Lily chanced looking down through the bottom of her blindfold, knowing that this was her memory charm. A tiny, delicate silver hoop with a clear stone strung on it, polished quartz rather than diamond and an equally tiny black flower were tied with thread in a simple knot, easy to pull apart. Together small enough for her little bird to carry, the single earring a thing of function rather than ornament, subtle to hide from watchful eyes and the less likely to be taken. The little flower had five petals which she carefully plucked, placing them into her bowl, <em>just</em> glancing up to make sure that Jack didn't watch her though it hurt her eyes again and made her dizzy.</p><p>“A magpie. She just came, touched you, sat in the window sill staring at me and then left. She didn't say anything.” </p><p>Lily hummed dismissively, reaching to covertly place the earring on her ear. It was a thoughtfully easy clasp to manage with one hand, only a flick of her thumb required to close it. “Oh well,” she said. “Never mind the magpie. Will you answer my question?” Lily looked into her bowl, finding the forget-me-not petals and scooping them out with another bite of deer meat, swallowing it down quickly. As soon as she managed it her head cleared a bit more and when she peeked up again at Jack her eyes stung but she did not feel woozy or like she might forget his name at any moment so she pulled the hood and blindfold up just enough to watch him.</p><p>He took a long time to answer, finally shifting again in his seat before starting quietly. “I built this house, Lily, about two years after you disappeared. I was not… I was not <em>well</em> and so I did something. I moved and I changed things until moving was easier and then I went to find people and being with them made me less sad that I couldn't be with you. I even almost got married once,” he let out a short breath, a sound of frustration, “but apparently I'm not good at telling people what I want,” he said a little bitterly and Lily was slightly shocked. </p><p>“Is <em>that</em> so?” she asked, perhaps with a touch of sarcasm. So someone <em>else</em> had noticed.</p><p>He rolled his eyes before continuing. “The thing of it is, it wasn't just that. She got frustrated with me because I couldn’t take off this ring,” he said, holding up his left hand, “and I couldn’t explain why. Now I guess it's because I never knew what happened to you and because I didn't know I couldn’t ever stop thinking about it. About you. I don't blame her. I couldn’t blame her then. I wasn’t always <em>with</em> her and she didn't deserve that.”</p><p>Lily was silent, watching him sit a moment in memory. This was not a story she expected and it made her sad that he had tried to move past her and was hampered by the consequences of her choices. She regretted now her inability to be candid with him then, perhaps should have foreseen his struggle to let her go when she vanished so soon after saying goodbye to him. </p><p>“Oona came to visit me from time to time, has ever since we met,” he started again, and though it was the first time he'd said the name she did not stop him. She recognized it from the long ago conversation with Gump, the one and only time she'd ever asked after Jack's welfare. “She always made advances that I refused, until one night she came and it was maybe a week after Gump had led me to believe that you were dead. I hadn't ever <em>grieved</em> for you and it was all a little overwhelming. I'm not proud to admit that I was drinking, sitting here by myself with those flowers that smell like you.”</p><p>“It's hard for me to imagine you drunk,” she said quietly.</p><p>“I’m not very much fun,” he admitted. “Unless it's some elven spirit. Then I'm usually alright, more playful than maudlin or irritable.”</p><p>“I get quite vulgar when I'm drunk,” she added.</p><p>“And I believe that about you <em>fully,”</em> he laughed, and she could not help laughing with him. If circumstances were different perhaps they could have still been friends. She at least had always <em>liked</em> him. His humor died as he continued his story. “Well. That night she came and she put on a glamour and she looked like <em>you.</em> I was sitting there missing you, trying to get it <em>out</em> and she comes with your face on while your scent is in my nose and I swear that after everything something in me just broke. I felt like I spent that night with you and in the morning when I woke up alone for just a second as I still lay half-dreaming I was only alone because you'd snuck out to make it to your father's castle before daybreak and I had not felt so content in years. It was terrible.”</p><p>Lily sat, a bit horrified for a number of reasons. She was disturbed by the situation as a whole but again felt sadness for him, finally allowed to grieve and then taken advantage of for it, held back again despite his best efforts. </p><p>“The next few days were terrible too, and then she came with your face again. I got angry with her but she just waited until my anger turned to sadness and then kissed me with your lips. Because it kept working she kept doing it, and I'm weak and started looking forward to seeing you and pretending that things were fine for a while.” He paused, rubbing his eyes and shaking his head a bit. “But after so long it started hurting too much and I wanted so badly to just stop being <em>reminded</em> and so I asked her to just be herself for me. She was completely overjoyed, but the problem is that I have never loved Oona. I have never <em>wanted</em> Oona, and I could only convince her so long before she went back to her glamour. After a while I stopped letting it sway me and told her to leave, but she has <em>never</em> left me alone. She stays away for months, years at a time and then finds me at my weakest moments and does it all again and I can't always resist her. I don't drink anymore unless I have wards up because she's sure to make an attempt. She's been waiting for <em>years</em> to find a way to really spite me, I guarantee it. At this point she's only tormenting me and if she could have told me where you’d gone sooner I'm sure she would have just to cause me pain. So yes, It's been a little hard to let go of you.”</p><p>“That really is terrible, Jack. I'm sorry,” she whispered, in disbelief at this fairy girl's cruelty. “Why could she not tell you sooner?”</p><p>He was shaking his head, not seeming to want her consoling words. “A promise to Gump, no doubt. He has always wanted to keep me from the truth.”</p><p>At that comment Lily was quite sure of what had changed, of why his timing had been so suddenly aligned with her pregnancy. Her need for a midwife had prompted this series of events. She wondered what request Gump had made of his “many inquiring whisperers" and what loophole Oona had found in it.</p><p>“What did she say to you that made you come searching for me?” Lily knew that in this situation Oona could not have been straightforward with any information.</p><p>He bumped his head against the wall gently, grimacing. “She found me while I was out one evening and said nothing but, ‘The Queen of Darkness is in need of aid, Jack. Can you help her?’ and then she put your face back on for just a few seconds before she flew away despite my calls. I could not mistake her meaning, especially because she looked like you in that… that <em>other</em> dress he put you in, with the…” he gestured vaguely at his face, huffing, “and when she did it she looked <em>scared</em> and I know that it was her and not you but the fear staring back at me from your eyes terrified me anyway."</p><p>“I need help finding a <em>midwife,</em> Jack,” Lily said simply.</p><p>He shook his head again, looking rather distressed. “Before I saw the witch, before I did anything else I snuck below the great tree just to see if you were there, just to see if maybe she was only sending me out chasing ghosts. I know that she thought it was a fool's errand, just wanted me to <em>see,</em> and what I <em>saw…”</em> He had trouble continuing and Lily felt her stomach drop. What <em>had</em> he seen?</p><p>“You were at that table with him, in the hall where I found you. You were sitting <em>on</em> him, naked except for this blue… necklace…” he sounded unsure when he said the word and Lily knew the piece he probably referred to, one she'd worn sometime recently. “Necklace" was an inadequate word. It was an ostentatious, loose web of sapphires which dripped from her neck to her knees, clinging and clasping in ways which did not allow for any clothing to be worn with it though most of her was left bare, a fact which they had taken full advantage of that suppertime. She nearly felt herself blush at the implications but stubbornly refused to be ashamed of being seen making love to her husband in her own home by someone uninvited to be there.</p><p>“He started touching you and I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t bear to stay and <em>watch,</em> and what could I do to free you then? Nothing, so I left though it was difficult. I left and searched for someone to help me, who told me about the ways that he could be keeping you there.” He started speaking but stopped, started over again. “The fairies have their own manner of enthrallment. They really have to trick you into it but they can make you do and say <em>whatever</em> they like for a time, all the while with you watching yourself do it from the inside, no matter how you fight. It's terrifying and disturbing and it’ll take your sanity in all sorts of ways.”</p><p>“Is Oona really so cruel?” Lily asked softly, less anxious about what he'd witnessed and disappointed that this was what life had given him.</p><p>“She has been once or twice over the years, when she gets the opportunity,” he responded, looking out of a window. It seemed later in the day than she expected and she wondered how long she'd slept. A single night seemed like only a moderate nap and she was still tired. “After that I couldn’t stop thinking about you, there, for all those years just watching yourself do those things to <em>him,”</em> he stopped a moment, choked.</p><p>“I thought you didn’t watch us,” she said tiredly. </p><p>He shook his head again. “I saw more than I needed to.”</p><p>“That's for certain.” Lily took a moment to imagine the situation he described, imagine that she had been trapped inside of her own body all these years, captive to a man that she did not love, did not want, yet compelled to touch him anyway, compelled to let him have his way as he liked for years on end, no hope of escape and no voice for her protests. Jack had glimpsed something of that feeling and wanted to keep her from such a desperate fate. She closed her eyes, feeling heartsick. “What you saw, Jack, was two people who love one another, not him exerting his will upon me. He brings me joy just as I do to him. I am never forced to do things that I do not wish to do.” </p><p>“But I <em>know</em> you, Lily. I know that under your own power you would not want to be with him. I don't want to think of you being tortured so long and would love nothing better than to truly know that you have been safe and happy all this time instead but I don't see how it's possible and by my own conscience I can’t let you go back there. If I allow you to convince me and then send you back to him, will I have let your only chance slip away? Will it kill your spirit entirely?” He looked at her like the thought broke his heart and she rubbed at her sore eyes, not wanting to meet his any longer.</p><p>“Perhaps you don't know me as well as you have always thought,” she suggested gently. He did not respond. “I’m not sure what else to say to you, Jack. I am not bespelled to love him. I love him truly. We are similar in many ways, complimentary in others.”</p><p>Jack was still and silent so Lily started eating again quietly, thinking, hoping that more help would come soon. The magpie was much faster than any goblin and who <em>knew</em> how far behind her lord's minions were. Jack sat at the table pensively until she finished and asked him for more, refilling her bowl silently also.</p><p>“We need to do something else,” he said once he sat back down. “I have more charms but I don’t want to hurt you again, especially when I don’t really know that it will help anything.” His knee started jumping as he thought. “I think I should get the witch,” he decided.</p><p>Lily put her spoon down again, more than a little curious, filled with more than a little trepidation at Jack receiving <em>additional</em> help from this witch. Then again, perhaps she knew something about practitioners of this type of magic that he did not.</p><p>“Did you tell her who I was, Jack? Does she know who you've stolen me from?”</p><p>He was silent another long minute, though now his look held more anxiety. “I thought maybe she'd be too afraid to help me. I told her that it was dark magic and she seemed to know what to do. I don't think it's enough.”</p><p>Lily nodded slowly, raising the spoon to her lips, unsure of whether to fear or hope.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So when this is finished (we've got a bit though so this is for very later) I'm sure that I'm going to need a minute to regroup and work out the details of the sequel. I have at least a single oneshot (already partially written of course, another Darkness POV) but was considering doing a couple of other things too. </p><p>The first is a short side piece to this series that goes further into this Jack and Oona mess. *Let me clarify that this will not be smut because NOPE.</p><p>The second is separate from this series, a reworking of the ending of the movie BUT LIKE CORRECT, ya know? In a predictable but satisfying kind of way, YA KNOW?</p><p>Thoughts?</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Blacker Than</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lily stared out of a window for a few moments, catching a hint of red through the greenery. Excitedly she put her bowl onto the floor and went to stand but forgot that her legs were weak and sat back down again, grunting in frustration. “You and those damned flowers, Jack,” she grumbled, crawling to the window by the bed. </p><p>”Sorry,” he offered quietly.</p><p>She scoffed before she finally saw the ground outside, blanketed in deep scarlet. “Oh, they're <em>lovely</em> up close,” she said fondly, wishing that she saw them in moonlight instead. Her lilies were everywhere, on every patch of land she saw. It was a spectacular sight but the true sun high above was not kind to her vision.</p><p>When she turned back she was shocked to see Jack out of his seat and across the room adjusting the lantern that had burnt her, with his <em>hand,</em> as though it was of no unusual temperature. Her own hand hurt less than before but still stung and throbbed quite harshly.</p><p>“It doesn't feel hot to you at <em>all?”</em> She asked, making him jump with her sudden volume. </p><p>“It's like a rock that's been sitting in the sun,” he responded with a shrug, standing again.</p><p>“It has burned me because of the nature of my immortality,” she told him, deciding that perhaps the more information she gave him the more likely he was to understand the situation, to understand what he was truly doing. “My life is sustained by the dark now, like every other creature from below. The sun scorches me just as it would many a creature native to the Endless Night. That is why your lanterns burn me, that is why your potion meant to drive out a dark creature's hold scalded me. I <em>am</em> a dark creature, Jack.”</p><p>Jack stood still, not saying much. Lily examined his youthful face and wondered if Oona had something to do with it, or perhaps Gump. “Why are you so young?” She asked him abruptly.</p><p>He heaved a great sigh and leaned on the wall before answering with as much affection as he had spoken of the fay earlier, <em>“Fairy</em> blood.”</p><p>“Oh,” she uttered, and nothing more. Lily cast her eyes about his home again, practically grown into the tree around it. She supposed that it made a certain amount of sense.</p><p><em>“Oh,”</em> he repeated sullenly, for a moment seeming even younger than he looked. “Gump told me so after I asked him if he knew why I wasn't ageing. You’d think he might have told me earlier, <em>knowing</em> that I didn't know, but he thought that dropping little hints was quite enough. Apparently he even knew my father. Or knows, maybe. I’ve never met him and Gump talks about him in past tense but never says what happened to him. Just more of his games.” His arms crossed and he added, muttering, “Greatest shame of my life.”</p><p>“And your mother?” Lily asked him. She had never know anything about his parents and it was surreal to finally hear any story at all.</p><p>Jack's face turned pained as he hesitated to answer. “I almost took you to her house. It's closer to the witch, less than an hour past her, but I would've had to carry you for nearly three more hours than I already did… and her things are still there. I looked.”</p><p>Lily shook her head, confused. “What happened to her?”</p><p>“I'm not sure.” </p><p>“Then what happened to <em>you?”</em></p><p>He hesitated again, looking reluctant to tell the story. Jack had never been very forthcoming with information about his past. “I ran off all the time, made friends with the animals. No brothers or sisters. She let me. I'm sure she knew what my father was and why I needed the forest but she never spoke of him that I can remember. After a while I spent more time with the deer and the foxes and was <em>visiting</em> her. She got fed up and tried to make me sleep inside so I climbed out a window one night and didn't return.”</p><p>“How old were you?”</p><p>He shrugged. “Little. Four or five, I don't really remember.”</p><p>Lily gasped, tears building in her eyes at the thought, picturing her little one doing something like that, just <em>disappearing</em> on her with no trace while they were still practically a baby, how she would fear, how she would grieve. “I can only imagine how that must have broken her heart.”</p><p>“A few years later I went back,” he said haltingly, “but she wasn't there. All of her things were, but she was gone. I came back a few times and nothing had moved, just sat and gathered dust. I don't know where she went.”</p><p>She shook her head again, staring at him. “I can only guess. Did you check the bottom of any steep cliffs?” she asked unkindly, stung for this poor woman that she did not know. If Jack hadn't met his father then <em>he</em> was not with his mother either. She had been alone, and by the sound of the distance to her home, isolated.</p><p>“No,” he said quietly, sadly, and she knew that it was exactly because he'd had the same thought.</p><p>“Do you regret it?”</p><p>“Sometimes. It makes me feel like one of <em>them."</em> The heel of his boot made a soft sound against the wall as he tapped it slowly. “Did you ever see your father before he died?”</p><p>Lily closed her eyes and took a deep breath herself. She wasn't too sore about this but it didn't feel <em>nice.</em> “No. I sent him a letter once but when he sent one back he tried to have my messenger followed so I stopped. I know that he was happy.”</p><p>"<em>He</em> let you do that?"</p><p>"Of course he did. I'm not a prisoner," she sighed, and Jack was quiet a moment.</p><p>“Your brother is king now.” </p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“I saw portraits of your brothers and sisters. You look nothing alike.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>They were quiet a while before he moved to put on his bag and attach his weapons. “If I go now I should be back with the witch before dark, if she helps us.”</p><p>“How did you find this witch?” Lily asked, hoping to better prepare herself.</p><p>“There's a florist in town that I visited a long time ago with the lilies when Gump wouldn’t tell me anything about them. She’s the one that told me that they stayed alive if you kept their stems in blood. I asked if she knew where they came from and she called them Lilith's flowers and told me that they grew after a flood because Queen Lilith was cut and the flowers were sown and fertilized with the blood from the wound and the rains that would not cease were her tears which watered them. It didn't make much sense and when I asked what Lilith was queen of she didn't answer. It was like I was supposed to have already known and if I didn’t she wasn’t going to tell me.”</p><p>“If <em>she</em> was a witch she probably would not want to reveal herself to you,” Lily pointed out. “That you did not know the name meant that you were not likely to run in approving circles. People do tend to get quite hostile.”</p><p>He nodded, looking a bit disgruntled. “Why <em>didn't</em> I know your name, Lily?”</p><p>“It's a matter of public record,” she shrugged, not much wanting to address this point.</p><p>“But you never <em>told</em> me that your given name was Lilith. I didn't even know until a few years after that, and I learned it from <em>public record.”</em></p><p>“Well I didn't want you to ever <em>call</em> me Lilith,” she said a bit sharply. “My father only called me Lilith before my mother died and she only <em>ever</em> called me Lily. Afterwards he started calling me Lily, too. Always. I just didn't ever want to hear you say it. You were a distraction from my grief and that name was a reminder of it.”</p><p>Jack snorted a quick, irritated breath through his nose and shook his head, continuing on as if they'd not had the little aside. “After my visit to the great tree I remembered her story and went back because by then I <em>did</em> know who she was talking about. I didn't tell her that I was looking for you but I thought that if I wanted to find someone human who knew about these things she might be a good place to start. I said that I needed help fighting dark magic and asked if she knew where I could go and she told me she would make a request. I came back the next day and she sent me out with her cat, told me to follow him. He led me to a house I'd never seen though I know the spot well, the house of the witch.”</p><p>Lily hoped that the whispers of her name were a good sign, hoped that no more ill would come of this. She placed her hand against her belly, rubbing the bump that seemed maybe even a little larger since yesterday. Jack noticed.</p><p><em>“Is</em> it your first?” he asked softly. She nodded and he let out a sigh that had a little too much relief in it for her liking.</p><p>“And they’re craving blueberry juice again,” she muttered, missing her husband as she said it.</p><p>“You cannot juice a blueberry,” he said, rubbing his eyes tiredly with breathless, perhaps slightly pressured laughter.</p><p>“Just because <em>you</em> can't doesn’t mean that no one can. I'm quite sure that if I told my lord I craved turnip blood he would manage it. Probably just glare frightfully at the turnip until it slit its own stem and bled neatly into a cup for him to prevent whatever fate he had planned.” She laughed at the image. Jack’s laughter ceased.</p><p>“I'll be back as soon as I can. Just… just wait here,” he said, unlatching and slipping out the door quickly.</p><p>“Oh, <em>wait here,</em> he says. Wait here, as though he weren’t holding me <em>captive!”</em> She shouted after him, listening to the soft click as he secured the door. Lily rolled her eyes though he could not see her. The tied lilies had gone with him in that bag again, what could she do?</p><p><em>Well.</em> What she could do was sink under the fur and be as close to her lover as possible, savor this opportunity to speak to him without Jack listening. Lily did just that, tenting the cloak and calling out to him, finding his eyes staring at her immediately like before. She let out a giddy laugh that turned to tears as she looked at him, so close and yet too far for her to touch. His whispered kiss swept her all over, on her lips and along every piece of her skin that she could fit under her cover.</p><p>“He'll be gone for hours,” she told him, though it came out in a shaky sob. “He's gone to get the witch who helped him with these charms. She doesn't know who he's taken, I'm hopeful that I might be able to convince her to aid me.” There was a swipe along her jaw and she felt his approval, felt him melt around her in teasing wisps that made her ache for him. </p><p>“I didn't say before but he has my lilies bound, too. I cannot move much, cannot perform any manipulations.” The eyes in the shadows narrowed and there was an angry vibration but Lily did not get the sense that he was surprised. He had probably already guessed as much, having made many a comment over the years on the decision that had originated them, forewarning her that something exactly like this could happen. “Thank you for my memory. It is restored,” she whispered, and his eyes softened. “I want to feel you so <em>badly.</em> Would you… do you think..?” she gasped, too suddenly overcome with want to even express her desire. </p><p>Luckily it seemed that he understood and those green spirit eyes narrowed again as the light, tingling sensations around her intensified and she whimpered, pleasure and yearning tearing at her as the shadows infiltrated her skin. It was <em>wonderful</em> after so long away from him to be filled with his spirit and holding him in any manner at all but she longed for his flesh fiercely and clenched her fists, ignoring the pain in her hand as she did it. It was irritating how easily her tears came now but in this moment she cared little and let them overtake her as his presence comforted her, almost as though she were in his arms this minute crying out her frustrations and her fears at being away from him. <em>Almost.</em></p><p>Suddenly he was gone and she panicked, starved of his presence. She opened her eyes and did not find his, calling out, “Beloved? <em>Beloved?”</em> frantically as her heart sped for an excruciatingly long minute.</p><p>Then he was back and he was under her skin but she could <em>feel</em> him now in a way that she had never felt the shadows, feel his hands all over her body and his lips against hers. The beautiful shock of it halted her weeping and she kissed him, moving instinctively to grab his neck, hands meeting air. Lily moaned and dropped her arms, readjusting the fur, letting him touch her instead and imagining that she lay in their bed with him over her. She thought of the sound of his voice, imagined that she heard his breath in the dark.</p><p>Incorporeal yet somehow solid fingers swiped under her clothing to tickle the insides of her elbows and tease at her nipples, caress her ribs and smooth down her sides. Lily's breath sped and gooseflesh rose all along her body, soft moans escaping her at the scrape of ghostly claws. She squeezed her eyes shut <em>tight</em> and willed herself there with him, kissing his shadow with all of the considerable want inside of her.</p><p>His phantom lips slid down her jaw which surprised her as they also still occupied hers. She continued kissing him as his kisses kept <em>spreading</em> rather than moving, as though he had many mouths that touched her one after another and lingered, nipping at her neck, her clavicles, her breasts, her belly, until she felt like he was kissing her everywhere but where she wanted most.</p><p>Realizing why that might be Lily reached down, finding that the fur cloak had ridden up her legs as she shifted and tugging it eagerly back down. Under the cover of the fur the sensations of his lips continued spreading, crawling in a wave over and between her thighs. She cried out loudly, the sound not muffled by the lips pressed against hers.</p><p>That long tongue of his was <em>everywhere</em> at once, in her mouth and circling the tips of each breast, caressing their undersides and flicking into her navel, lapping at her tender bud and delving inside of her, making her squirm restlessly as they followed. She clenched her legs together mindlessly at the incredible feeling and they met without him settled between but the sensations did not cease and her knees fell sideways while she wriggled around under the fur.</p><p>There were teeth on her thighs and neck, claws running down her arms. Lily shivered, her body always responsive to him and more so in this moment after awakening all too soon from her dream and now being inundated with his spectral caresses. She moaned again and remembered briefly the nervousness in Jack's voice as he’d woken her. He'd let her sleep in until that particular moment and Lily wondered if she had started making noises that were uncomfortable for him to listen to. She didn’t tend to be <em>quiet.</em> </p><p>She was <em>so</em> close to her bliss when he disappeared again and she let out a startled shriek, almost ready to cry but more quickly this time he was back with all of his mouths and hands and now there was more heat where before there had been mostly pressure. Lily tensed and sobbed out an ecstatic moan as she flew apart and suddenly she felt that heat and pressure all around as though his arms had come to embrace her, circling her tightly just the way she loved most. </p><p>At almost the same moment these sensations pressed inside of her body like that piece of him that shattered her most thoroughly, the familiar hardness that filled her so completely in flesh, as completely as he filled her heart and spirit. Her thighs were still pressed together yet his steely length was moving within her, his ethereal lips and fingers still all over her skin. The mouth at her sex now sucked greedily while his strokes grew quickly impatient, driving her rapidly to another, more intense peak. </p><p>Lily’s head grew light and her muscles clenched fiercely as she cried out again, carried away long enough to forget where she was, absorbed in his presence and the pleasures he gave her. She felt him press deeply into her and pause, felt the swell and release of his own flesh though it lacked the liquid rush that made her feel so connected to him, to keep his very essence within her even when he pulled away.</p><p>He moved more slowly everywhere now, over her skin and inside of her. Now that some of her tensions were resolved it was a comfort just to be with him like this and she wondered what his body was doing, whether he was in front of his crystal or somewhere else, if he was feeling her the same way that she felt him, if that liquid heat that she missed was splashed across his taught belly instead. She hoped so quite desperately, the idea that they sat in such togetherness now and shared this pleasure was a soothing one.</p><p>She lost track of time writhing there with the shadows, moaning softly and crying shakily as the energy under her skin pulsated and the sensations of his body covered and filled her. She was tingling and still twitching in her joy, quite thoroughly unaware of anything outside of the bounds of the fur when the door opened again. </p><p>“Lily?”</p><p>Lily jumped, disrupting her little tent and letting in a streak of light, all sensation of her beloved ceasing and a sharp pain assaulting her eyes and head. She moaned again but it was completely devoid of pleasure. Clumsily, flustered, she found the cape just above her and pulled it down to use the hood, leaving the handkerchief dangling at her neck as she slowly sat, holding the fur in front of her, clutching it to calm herself.</p><p>Her breath grew less labored with effort and she squinted to look up, shielding her face and finding Jack standing in the middle of the room, looking unsettled. Lily stared at him a long moment before another sound distracted her and she glanced at the still open door, another figure emerging, climbing the ladder just beyond the threshold.</p><p>Lily heard a quiet chitter and noticed her magpie sitting in a shady branch outside, watching them all. When she glanced back to the newcomer she found strange eyes, eerily amber in a way common to the fay and the brethren as well as night dwelling animals, though the face surrounding them looked entirely human.</p><p>The witch had come to <em>someone’s</em> aid and she hoped that in the end it would not be Jack's.</p>
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<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Gains and Losses</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lily’s gaze was locked to the witch's face as she took stock of the room and then of Lily herself, pausing with a speculative look. She glanced sideways at Jack before walking slowly and silently to his little table and setting down the large bag that she carried. </p><p>“Were you… sleeping?” He asked reluctantly. The witch let out a loud, high laugh that startled both of the other two and put a rather sour look on Jack's face. “Have you been in contact with him?” He asked warily instead. Lily stayed quiet.</p><p>Jack sighed, glancing behind him and walking quickly to the bedside while the witch faced away and bending to whisper to Lily. “She's a little odd,” he said in warning, so quietly that she almost didn't catch it. </p><p>He moved to put his things away but as he passed the witch she jerked towards him, making him flinch as she said, <em>“You’re</em> a little odd, Green <em>Jack,”</em> quite close to his nose, they being of a height. She sucked her teeth at him and he blinked, pulling back and glancing at Lily with an uneasy look before setting down his bow.</p><p>This woman had deeply bronzed skin and sandy curls that frizzed out more wildly than her own, cut above her shoulders and falling in front of her sharp face. Thick, expressive brows topped her strange eyes which seemed to have the largest, roundest irises she'd ever seen, one of her pupils dilating and contracting strangely as she stared at Lily while the other stayed fixed. Her face had only a few delicate lines but her age was difficult to pin, light streaks that could’ve been white or blonde running through her hair.</p><p>“There are goblins in the wood,” the witch announced, her voice lightly accented. It gave Lily pause, familiar and not, but then she registered her words and let out a short, delighted laugh. The witch raised a brow and then looked at Jack again who had rushed to the window, frantic. </p><p>Goblins were a first attempt. They weren't terribly capable creatures but it was still light out and there were not many from below that could walk in the sun. It had taken them all day to get here and she was not hopeful that they would be much use to her, but come nightfall there were quicker things that could emerge. Goblins outside meant that they had made a path, goblins outside meant that <em>actions</em> were being taken.</p><p>“I can see them now, but they aren't approaching,” Jack said. </p><p>The witch made an exasperated noise and looked at Lily, rolling her eyes. “Fool boy has wards up and he's surprised that goblins can't climb his little tree,” she told her, tipping her head at Jack and speaking of him like he wasn't there. Lily felt a touch of frustration at that. She wasn't <em>counting</em> on the goblins but did not realize that Jack's wards would keep them away. She wondered with a touch of nerves what else they would keep away.</p><p>Jack did not look back at the witch but Lily caught his face in profile as it tensed and his eyes closed a moment. He turned back to the room, looking at Lily before moving to retrieve items from his bag. He handed the bundle to the witch, telling her, “I used everything but these. She wasn't bound and this one hurt her,” he said as he handed her a half empty bottle, “So I didn’t even try this. The others didn't do anything. I also… um,” he quieted a little, looking at Lily as he said, “I kissed her.”</p><p>“How dare you,” Lily gaped at him, outraged. “You <em>kissed</em> me? While I was <em>unconscious?”</em></p><p>“I had to,” he insisted. “It worked before. Last time I broke his spell with a kiss,” he told her urgently. “This time it did nothing.”</p><p><em>“What</em> before?” She demanded sharply. “He did not enchant me <em>before</em> either. He <em>danced</em> with me. He tried to seduce me with words and gifts, painted my face and dressed me formally because he thought to <em>marry</em> me that night and then I manipulated and betrayed him because he had <em>not</em> taken my will from me as you suggest.”</p><p>“Gump said that you were under a powerful spell. You would not wake until I kissed you.”</p><p>“A <em>sleeping</em> spell,” she huffed. “He put me to <em>sleep</em> because I proved myself a hindrance to him but he did not wish to kill me. <em>He</em> probably planned to wake me with a kiss.”</p><p>There was silence in the room a moment except for Lily’s heavy, agitated breathing. The thought that her lord's lips were not the last ones to touch hers spiked her anger at Jack sharply. She covered her mouth with a hand, a sudden loud sob escaping her.</p><p>“Oh dear me,” the witch sighed finally. Jack did not move from his spot as she walked to the bedside an knelt, her manner soft as she sat at Lily's feet. “Lily?” Lily nodded, unable to say anything even though she needed badly to speak to this woman, to be wary of her and find out her intentions as soon as possible. “Lily, I have something in common with the owl. These eyes see in the dark,” she said, tapping Lily's knee to prompt her to raise her own eyes. As they met Lily felt the witch looking <em>into</em> her, searching for something in a way that only certain types of creatures searched, creatures with a particular perception. “There was a magpie following us here. I have something in common with her, too. Do you know what that is?”</p><p>The witch's left pupil contracted as she asked her question, shrunk down to a pinpoint as the other remained large. “I think I do,” Lily said softly, still struggling with her breath. The witch nodded.</p><p>“Because she is your friend, the magpie? Perhaps you even gave her the eye that she and I share?”</p><p>“Yes,” Lily sighed, staring into the witch's evaluating gaze. Hopefully she would be able to see the lack of enchantment here. </p><p>“Because you have been practicing sorcery. What captor lets their captive practice sorcery, keep a familiar, especially when sorcery is what binds them?” She shook her head and looked at Lily a second longer. </p><p>“That is just the problem,” Jack said behind them. Though he looked taken aback by her words he did not comment on Lily's practicing magic, a thing which must seem as strange to him as he doing so seemed to her. “He is no ordinary captor. He is <em>very</em> powerful and none of this seems to be enough.”</p><p>Lily laughed a little, but there was very little humor in it. “Jack, did you not tell her before you came back? How would you even expect her to bring appropriate tools if she doesn't know?” She asked, baffled, though it meant that if this woman reacted badly she might be less prepared.</p><p>“I didn't want her to refuse,” he said quietly. The witch's brows rose dramatically and Lily huffed in great irritation.</p><p>“Do you realize how often you lie to people, Jack?” He stared at her, saying nothing back. </p><p>“Oh, he hasn't lied to me,” the witch said. “Halfling boy omits the truth, just like all the fairy. That why you're so quiet, Jack?” Still he did not speak and the witch sucked her teeth at him again. “This girl is not enthralled. What happened is this: some pretty dark fay lord steals the heart of your lady love, you get sore, eh? Like men do. Full fay, dark fay, too strong for you, important enough to have others who work for him,” she tilted her head towards the window, indicating the goblins. “You think it must be magic but she left because you don't tell all your truths.”</p><p>Jack was shaking his head, the look on his face pained. “You're wrong.”</p><p>“I have the Sight, Jack,” she said, pulling down the lower lid of the eye with the strangely moving pupil. “I see enchantments. I see truths, and untruths. I know you believe it, but you're a little stupid.”</p><p>He scoffed, looking affronted as he dug into his bag again, pulling out the tied lilies. “He is no dark <em>fay</em> lord,” Jack snapped, holding out the bundle. </p><p>The witch's eyes went wide as she saw what he held, saw the twine that she had presumably given him. “I told you something of her body, like a lock of hair or a scrap of cloth with her <em>blood</em> on it,” she whispered shakily. </p><p>“And those flowers are made from my blood,” Lily said softly, holding her breath after. This moment would tell her whether this woman was ally or enemy, she was certain. A tense beat passed before she spoke.</p><p>“You are Queen Lilith,” the witch gasped, hands flying to her open mouth. She threw herself to the ground, leaning on her forearms, reaching forward to hold tense, shaking fingers over Lily's bare feet. Her head bowed so low that Lily could not see her face, her forehead nearly touching the floor. “My <em>sincerest</em> apologies, Mistress,” she whispered so that Lily strained to hear her. Her voice shook as heavily as her hands did, sounding as though she fought back mortified tears. “The bones told me to help him. I did not know, I swear it, I <em>did not</em> know! A dark creature, he said, only that a dark creature had stolen away the woman he loved. Not that he coveted the wife of <em>Ekletu himself!”</em> </p><p>Lily let out her breath, relief filling her.</p><p><em>“No,”</em> Jack cut in angrily, his eyes wide and panicked. “He has her <em>under a spell</em>, it does not matter who he is! I will deal with the consequences,” he insisted.</p><p>“He is <em>Ekletu,”</em> she shrieked at him in response. “<em>He is the Darkness</em>.”</p><p>“I <em>know</em> who he is!” Jack shouted. “I have defeated him once before!”</p><p>Another shocked gasp came from the witch whose face whipped up to stare furiously at Jack, even as she remained prostrate at Lily's feet. <em>“You dare,”</em> she hissed shrilly, her hands shaking yet more violently where they hovered. “He is the patron of my tradition, he has <em>given</em> us our greatest blessings! The strength of the power I wield, the length of my life I <em>owe</em> to him!” Her head dipped and her voice softened again as she addressed Lily. “Many generations ago, a matriarch of my clan performed the <em>epuštu kar rihûtalpi</em> with him. We have been devoted since.”</p><p>“What is that?” Jack asked through his panic, though his voice still edged on hysterical.</p><p>The witch turned her face to answer, but stopped immediately as an irritated sigh escaped Lily. “It is <em>nothing</em> that we need discuss,” she snapped before taking a calming breath, realizing with her words that this woman's accent held the flavor of the old language though perhaps a dialect of it, maybe a more recent one than her husband spoke.</p><p>“Of course, Mistress, apologies,” the other woman whispered, “I meant no insult to my queen.” She rose only enough to pull a medallion from the front of her dress, displaying it to her reverently. “I only wish to declare my loyalties.” The medallion was etched with a familiar sigil, one that she recognized as his. A blessing, a portal for exchange of energies. Lily had seen similar pieces. It told her that this woman practiced dark magic, generated power for her lord's benefit in exchange for uncommon gifts.</p><p>“What is your name?” Lily asked, calmer, her voice kind again though the note of command remained. </p><p>“I was named Ardat upon my induction, Majesty,” she replied, still quiet. </p><p><em>“Ardat?”</em> Lily repeated, brows raised.</p><p>The witch’s nod was short and sharp, her voice stronger as she explained. “The women of my line were spat upon with that word once, now we claim it each generation, use the hatred it carries to take power for ourselves. It makes me strong, Mistress, and I am <em>proud.</em> I was grateful to receive it.” Lily heard Jack sigh harshly, saw him pacing from the corner of her eye. “And you carry his <em>child!”</em> She exclaimed suddenly, looking up at Lily for the first time since she had realized whom she spoke to, though only at her nearly flat belly. “A <em>true</em> child of Ekletu! And he- and <em>you!”</em> She shouted, head snapping towards Jack again. Lily saw him jump, saw him take a step back at the murderous look in Ardat's eyes. </p><p>She stood, rushing angrily not towards Jack but towards the leather pack she had brought in. She opened it and searched through its contents briefly with quick, jerky motions, pulling out small bags and pouches, collecting them in her arms before stumbling to a window, opening each one and tossing the contents into the breeze. Once she had emptied half of them as the other occupants of the room watched, her agitated silence turned again to repentant deference as she confessed, “I thought it was reasonable, that a girl bespelled to a creature and held captive, impregnated by him against her will, once the spell was lifted may not want to keep the child.” Her eyes welled with tears as Lily watched, horrified at what she heard. “The boy asked me and I brought herbs that would end a pregnancy,” she said quietly, emptying the last of her pouches. “I beg your forgiveness, Mistress. I would not have done <em>any</em> of this had I known. The gallu have been known to overstep and I have helped more than one young woman in such a predicament.”</p><p>Lily breathed deep, shaky breaths, trying to keep her composure. “Jack, please listen to this woman. She knows the truth and right about now I am very much debating whether I really want to try to convince my husband not to take your heart.”</p><p>“I was not going to <em>force</em> you to do it, Lily. I just wanted you to be able to. This is madness. She just said that she was <em>devoted</em> to him, how can we trust her?” he nearly shouted. “You’re right, I should’ve told her. That way I would have known not to bring her.” He groaned and started pacing over the few feet available to him, staring at the witch. “But now she might help him. Maybe I <em>am</em> a little stupid,” he muttered, rubbing his eyes.</p><p>“Yes, <em>stupid,”</em> Ardat hissed at him, jumping towards him again as she passed to take down a lantern. Jack blocked her and shoved her back just hard enough to throw her a little off balance. She shouted inarticulately in his face and then raised her left hand, snapping her fingers by his cheek. When he looked at it, startled, she raised her right one to smack him sharply upside his head. Jack ducked away and shoved her again and she made a face at him before turning to kneel once more at Lily's feet, lowering her head and raising her hands as she asked, “May I meet your eyes, Mistress?”</p><p>“Yes,” Lily granted, needing every connection and assurance that this woman could give her. She looked up at Jack who rubbed his head, making a face at him herself before returning her attention to Ardat in front of her.</p><p>That uncanny stare found hers again, something almost pleading in it. “There is a woman I know who has a gift for prophecy. She had a vision of you and he as <em>epēqu libbu…</em> embracing hearts. It is like when two trees stand close to one another and grow together, make one trunk, one tree. It will damage the trees to separate them, you should not be apart. <em>Ever.</em> It is a matter of destiny. You are on paths that run side by side, you must <em>stay</em> on them.”</p><p>“Well tell <em>him,”</em> Lily said, pointing at Jack who stared on, her tears back again. She wiped at her face, frustrated with herself. He was still pacing, seemingly trying to decide his next move. There was goblin laughter outside and all three of them looked up. It was late afternoon now and soon evening would herald more dangerous things. She wished that it would <em>come</em> already.</p><p>“You do a terrible wrong, Jack, and we may all suffer for it,” the witch told him. “This was the disturbance in the forest recently, yes?” </p><p>“Yes,” Lily answered when Jack did not. </p><p>“Oh yes,” she whispered, “we will suffer dearly indeed if you do not let her go.”</p><p>At that comment Jack grew more agitated still and walked to Ardat's pack, opening it for himself. She uttered startled cry and ran at him, pulling on his arm ineffectually only for him to shake her off harshly. She stumbled back, looking at Lily who had her eyes on the dagger at his belt. She saw it herself and lunged, grabbing it from him swiftly.</p><p>Jack turned and saw his dagger in the witch's hand, his face tense and alert. “Leave my bag,” she demanded, her voice shaking. “There is nothing in it for you.”</p><p>They were still for a tense few seconds before Ardat swiped at him, slicing into his arm as he raised it to block her. Jack hissed and she swiped again before he caught her wrist, taking the blade from her as Lily watched, breathless, unable to <em>stand</em> let alone help her. </p><p>“You are a fool!” She shouted at him, struggling. “You are a stupid, <em>stupid</em> boy! You should release her now and pray, pray to the shadows for his forgiveness!”</p><p>Jack only made an angry noise in response and as they tusseled the witch shoved him against a wall but he was stronger and pushed her off again. Still she scrambled for the dagger and clung to him fiercely, throwing him off balance and nearly toppling him out of a window. For a moment Lily held her breath, hopeful.</p><p>Her hope was shattered as Jack regained his feet and Ardat shrieked, gasping as she looked at Lily before she fell back, her amber eyes as she slipped from the window full of pain and panic. Past the thundering of her heart and the raucous shouting of goblins nearby Lily heard a few heavy beats, closing her own eyes and letting a few desperate tears escape. This was a <em>very</em> tall tree.</p><p>Jack stood, shocked, staring at his bloody dagger. He looked at Lily and then stumbled to the table, throwing the blade down on it before placing his hands on the leather pack, looking back at her a with wide, tearful eyes. </p><p>“Please don't, Jack,” Lily pleaded.</p><p>He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, opening the witch's bag.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>My story passing 1,000 hits tickles me to *pieces*!</p><p>(Sort of) badly translated words:</p><p>Ekletu- Darkness<br/>Epuštu kar rihûtalpi- Basically means "rite of the blessed bull semen." I crack myself up.<br/>Ardat- A word which means both "young, unmarried woman," and "prostitute," has a history of derogatory use.<br/>Gallu- A class of demons from the underworld in Mesopotamian myth, often depicted dragging humans down violently when the time comes. In this case she uses it to refer to the brethren as a group.<br/>Epēqu- Denotes both plants which grow together or on top of each other and an affectionate embrace, as between lovers.<br/>Libbu- Heart, as in both the anatomical heart and the center of an object.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Closure</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Jack, nothing she owns will help you. <em>Nothing</em> will help you. There is no spell to break,” Lily insisted, not knowing what else to do. A few minutes ago she had thought that she could be patient until nightfall but Ardat's reaction to Jack approaching her bag had her very worried. </p><p>The goblins outside grew louder as he began pulling items out that she couldn't see and she started panicking, her breath picking up into frantic tears. She needed to distract him, buy time, slow him from finding anything useful in that bag before she or the gathering creatures of Night could act. All she could do was talk to him but she was so damned angry and frightened that she could think of nothing to say, wondering if somehow just shouting obscenities at him would improve the situation. She doubted it.</p><p>“I don't know how to use any of these things,” he said in frustration, holding up cloth, string, straw, pouches, stones, carved bone figures, chains with dangling medallions, a dozen scraps and talismans that <em>she</em> knew the purpose of. More attempts, materials for effigies, charms that repelled specific creatures, trinkets meant to focus a lost sense of self, clouded thoughts, stolen memories. All of them good choices for the situation as told to Ardat, all of them perfectly useless to Jack now. Lily hoped that he found nothing more sinister, biting her lip to attempt to slow her tears.</p><p>Jack set down what he was holding and turned to her, looking distressed by her sobbing. He knew that she would not allow him to comfort her and hesitated a long time before swiping his hands over his cheeks and speaking again. “Earlier. Was he <em>here</em> somehow?” </p><p>It made Lily laugh through her tears, equally bitter and mocking. “Tell me, Jack. Are you more afraid that he will kill you, or that you will see his eyes and know that you haven’t saved anyone, just abducted another man's wife?” </p><p>“<em>Of course I'm afraid that he'll kill me</em>,” he snapped at her. “I had an elven blade and an <em>alicorn</em> the last time we were face to face.”</p><p>“I am as tall as his ribs. You would meet him face to <em>nipple,”</em> she spat. To say that she was furious with him was a <em>gross</em> understatement and she’d always had just a bit of a mean streak, even since her youth. Jack had never seen it, though.</p><p>“This is only further reason why I cannot believe that you are yourself. You’re speaking so strangely.”</p><p>“Yes,” she said with an annoyed curtness to her tone, “I'm an adult woman now. I use adult words like <em>acrimony</em> and <em>cock.”</em></p><p>“I mean because you would not say such spiteful things.”</p><p>“You really don't know me as well as you think that you do. You never have. I was <em>thirteen</em> when we met, Jack. Thirteen years old, and my very favorite person in the whole world had just died.” She huffed a deep breath to collect herself, continuing on more calmly, finally getting a hold of her tears. “I have always hidden pieces of myself from you. I started running off to the forest because everyone around me was looking at me in this sad way that made me even more sad, which made me <em>angry,</em> and you gave me respite. That was what I needed then, to get away from those feelings. I didn't want you to look at me the way that they did, and then I realized that you <em>liked</em> me better when you only saw my happiness. I get spiteful when I'm angry sometimes. I always have. You don't think that there’s spite in me only because I never showed it to you.” </p><p>Lily sniffed miserably, curling her burnt hand into her chest and cupping the other over her abdomen. <em>“He</em> wants my anger also. I have never felt a need to hide it from him. You helped me to escape my pain, he pushes me to embrace it because he knows that it is the only way to live with it, to use it. I was grateful to you for helping me to still myself when I was in very great need of stillness, but you were a bandage to my wounds. He helps me to heal them and draw power from the scars.”</p><p>Jack sat as she spoke and seemed to be listening quite intently to her, face solemn. Lily paused a moment, knowing that she was likely about to hurt him and really, <em>truly</em> not caring. He needed to hear all of it. There was still the possibility of him coming to realize his error and maybe she needed to say it, to finally tell him the reasons that she had made her choice. She <em>wanted</em> him to know. “There are things he gives me that you could not. <em>Can</em> not. When you and I met we were children and at that moment I rather specifically did not want to speak on anything very seriously, but the way he speaks to me… I did not realize that I wanted someone to talk to so badly until I found someone who wanted to talk to <em>me.”</em> </p><p>“You <em>always</em> could have talked to me,” Jack insisted.</p><p>She shook her head, looking him in the eye again, though the pain in her head gnawed at her. “You never wanted to talk seriously about <em>anything.</em> Probably because you would not have understood me,” she said bluntly, watching him wince. “I'm not being unkind, it is true. Certain things were always a little difficult to get through to you. We have never really come from the same place.”</p><p>He scoffed, picking up a length of black cloth only to toss it back down, not really examining it, just looking at something that wasn't her. “And you and <em>he</em> do?” Jack hissed, grabbing his forearm. Now that the rush of his struggle with Ardat was subsiding it seemed that he finally noticed the injury she'd given him, rolling up his wet sleeve gingerly.</p><p>“Not in origin, but our souls meet in a very particular way that is hard to explain. We <em>understand</em> things about one another,” she told him as he somewhat sloppily cleaned his wound, a scowl on his lips as he listened to her and tended it. “It is not only that though, and you and I both know it. He and I spend <em>many</em> hours in easy conversation and you would not believe his vocabulary, he speaks dead languages that would hurt your ears. In our early days, Jack, it was endearing to explain words to you, honestly it was. It was distracting and <em>adorable,</em> but then as we grew older and I needed to stop ignoring my heartache I did not want to either simplify my speech or stop to define words like <em>delirium</em> as I described my mother's last days and how much of a hole she left in my heart.” Her voice had gained a touch of rancor by the end, but she took a breath and smoothed her brow before she went on, looking at his grim face as he wiped blood from his skin. “If it had not been him it would have been someone else. There came a point at which I needed more than you could give.”</p><p>He remained silent, wrapping his arm with some difficulty. When he finished he sat again, staring at the cloth which was already splotched with red, the bleeding not yet having come to a stop. </p><p>“Besides that, there were many things that I desired which you could have given me but <em>didn’t.”</em> Jack's eyes closed, his face stern but still. “It took you so long to even kiss me. I practically had to force the issue.” Lily tilted her head down wearily, rubbing her temple.</p><p>“And you did break my heart in the end,” he said finally, fussing with his bandage.</p><p>“Because where I wanted to go you <em>never</em> had the courage to follow.”</p><p>“Except when it mattered most,” he countered.</p><p>“But always when it mattered most <em>between us,”</em> she snapped back. He did not have an answer for her. “I became a woman and even after you became the hero somehow in many ways you were still a <em>boy.”</em></p><p>“Well I am not a boy <em>now,”</em> he grumbled resentfully, staring with malice at his arm.</p><p>“Perhaps, but you grew up quite a few decades too late.” She sniffed, shaking her head. “No, it would not have mattered. Our love was a childish love. The love I share with him is something altogether different. I am strong standing beside him in a way that I was not before. I am more <em>myself</em> when he and I are together than when we are apart because he desires every single piece of me without exception and demands that I give it to him.”</p><p>“Sounds controlling,” Jack said wearily, grinding his palms into his eyes a moment.</p><p>Lily closed her own eyes, taking a calming breath. “And yet my entire point is that he most desires the woman that I am when I do not hide, when I am unconstrained, when I do whatever and <em>only</em> what pleases me. He is insistent that I exert my own will at all times, insistent that I never feel shame. It is very well true that he has a domineering character but he does not treat me so. I am his spouse, not his subject. I rule with him as queen and he treats me accordingly. I answer to no one but myself. I am free below.”</p><p>“You could have been free in the forest,” he claimed dejectedly. </p><p>“Not in the same manner.” Lily responded. “I live a decadent life. He is indulgent, eager to see my every whim tended to, encouraging of my boldness in the extreme. Anything that I wish to do I may do without his judgement cast upon me. There is <em>nothing</em> that I want that I may not have, nothing that I want <em>from him</em> that he will not give me. You may not have tried to restrict me but I’ve always been just a bit too bold for your comfort, haven’t I? Be honest.”</p><p>“Like you said, Lily, we were children then.”</p><p>“Up until a point. Until we <em>weren’t</em> and you still jumped every time my hands wandered too far. He has <em>never</em> been skittish in the face of my desires.”</p><p>Jack looked at her finally, the pain and longing in his eyes so encompassing that through her anger she pitied him, so deep that she nearly started weeping again herself. “I would not be skittish with you anymore,” he whispered hesitantly, as though he had nearly thought better of speaking the thought. Lily wished that he had.</p><p>“Why would you even say such a thing?” She asked him, narrowing her eyes. It almost angered her more than his original offence. He had stolen her from her home while under the impression that she was kept against her will, but now he propositioned her after all of this? “You really are one of the fay. I will not step outside of my marriage.”</p><p>Her mention of his heritage seemed to be the thing that stuck him, making him grimace when she said it. “I only meant that things have changed, Lily. I never had any expectation that you would fall into my arms once you were freed. Really I didn't, though I would welcome you. I'm just telling you that these things that you say I could not give you-” Jack opened his mouth to continue, but she did not truly want to hear it and cut him off.</p><p><em>“Don’t,</em> Jack. I have grown accustomed to fiercer things in this life and my lord is a <em>bull,”</em> Lily said quietly but harshly. She sought to sting him sharply enough that he ceased considering any similar advances, uncaring whether it was petty. Her tolerance had been pushed <em>well</em> past its limits. “If you made love to me now I would not even <em>feel</em> it.”</p><p>He stilled at that, staring at her. She glared back, pulling the hood of the cloak to shade her eyes. After a minute he looked down, back to searching through the items from the bag.</p><p>“What <em>would</em> convince you? Hm? I have been hoping to find a way, in order to <em>prevent your death</em>, but I have no plan. You have too little experience with magic to tell for yourself, you don't trust the fay, you <em>killed</em> the witch that helped you because she told you a truth that you didn’t want to hear. What can I do to prove to you that I love him? What can I say?”</p><p>“Honestly, Lily? Probably nothing,” he said, sounding tired. “I have always trusted you too much to believe that you could truly love such a villain.”</p><p>Lily could not help the pressured, frustrated groan that escaped her at his words. “You have always trusted me to be the person that you <em>want</em> me to be. I love him because he trusts me to be the person that I am, bothers to know me well enough that he can.”</p><p>That apparently hit Jack harder than any of her other words and he stopped what he was doing, throwing up his hands as he turned back towards her. “You talk about him like a man, as though he is a <em>reasonable</em> choice, but he is not. He is <em>evil,</em> Lily!”</p><p>“Do you even know what you speak of?” She asked sharply, harshly, eyes blazing at him. “Men say he is evil because they fear him, but he does not pray on innocence. It is a novel thing that he has little use for, can draw no power from. <em>Men</em> pray on innocence. He prays on the wicked, for they are full of the energies that feed him. Those evil men are rife with desperation and rage and lusts and sorrows that fester, and when they are harvested the bounty is rich. That is what he wants, what he <em>is.</em> Darkness is not the evil, he is feeling, the raw struggle and hunger of it. The evil is what you do with it. He is blamed for much, but evil lives in the hearts of men, not in the shadows that haunt them.”</p><p>“But you admit that he does the haunting, that he drives men to suffer. He is not blameless for strife, he chases men with shadows for his own gain. <em>That</em> is the evil of it.”</p><p>“He tends the shadows because they are his, they are <em>him.</em> Can you decide, Jack, where your hair grows?” He gave her a <em>look.</em> “Well, it is his body. He needs dark energy syphoned back to him the same way any of us need food and water. He feeds, he stretches, he tests the barriers of his mobility, grows uncomfortable if he does not… move about, take <em>exercise</em> occasionally. You make your judgements with very little understanding. You think that he is <em>responsible</em> for the suffering in the world, but all he can do is exist.”</p><p>Jack inhaled deeply, again with his eyes on the table. He seemed a lot less certain of himself than when they had started this accursed journey but still unwilling to budge. </p><p>“It’s a bit baffling to me, you know, how most of the world sees him. All as I was growing up I heard people say that the Lord of Darkness culls the wicked, that his realm can be avoided if you avoid sin, and in actuality this is true yet they <em>still</em> call him evil. What nonsense is that? Those with goodness and light in their hearts have little to fear from him. They have nothing that he wants, nothing that he can use. All he wants barring the total retreat of the light is to be left alone by it. Not to be pushed at, invaded and challenged by self-righteous <em>heroes</em> who think that they will do a good deed by vanquishing <em>balance in the universe.</em>”</p><p>There was a strange smell wafting in from outside, like scorched oil and wet goblin. The two of them were startled as a shrill battle cry sounded and an ugly, squat creature rose into the air near a window holding a torch which seemed to smoke but not burn, attempting to toss it inside. His aim failed and it hit the outer wall of the house, clattering and then falling back down just after the goblin to an uproar of piercing shouts and expletives. Lily looked at the sky, noting the creeping twilight with relief.</p><p>“It is very well that so many view him as punishment for misdeed,” she continued, choosing not to comment on the interruption. Jack stared out of the window in silence. “They misconstrue his motivation, but the facts remain. Those who let him into their hearts sustain him in one way or another. Some directly, in worship and offering, like Ardat. They <em>appreciate</em> the Darkness and feed him in return because they know that it's a source of power. Others express the passions of his spirit through the sins of their own hearts, and those are the ones who get caught up in <em>excruciating</em> ways.”</p><p>“I saw some of it, when we went down for the unicorns,” he said quietly. “Even if they <em>are</em> wicked men, I don't know how you can find anything to love behind such cruelty.”</p><p><em>“Yes,</em> there is cruelty in the dark,” she responded, agitated again, fists clenched tightly at her sides, “there are things to terrify the <em>bravest</em> of men.” she struggled a moment to even her breath as he watched her. “But there is also beauty. Comfort. <em>Pleasure,”</em> Jack winced at that. “Tell me that you have never been stricken by the beauty of a still night,” she implored sadly.</p><p>“The night has stars to keep the dark at bay,” he said.</p><p>Lily's eyes turned stormy once more as she responded. “When the very first star appeared in the Void, suffering came to exist,” she hissed at him, all of her anger returning at that comment, so innocuous to him and yet <em>deeply</em> offensive to her. “Did you know that, Jack? <em>Suffering did not exist</em>, and then the light appeared in the Void and <em>hurt</em> it, made it <em>angry.</em> Darkness was made from that pain, for the Void had nothing else, had <em>required</em> nothing else in the midst of eternity. He is a barrier. The Night has <em>Darkness</em> to keep the <em>light</em> at bay. Light is an aberration, truly. The Mother is supremely neutral, all of her children may curry her favor and she is mother to all life, but she has <em>always</em> been the Night. The sun is much smaller than you think and beyond it, beyond that blue sky the cosmic Night continues. It is always Night out in the universe.”</p><p>Jack sat saying nothing, turning to look through the witch's things yet again, emptying the bag and tipping it out but pausing as she continued to speak.</p><p>“And now, with the universe so changed he is needed, for life in the middle planes would be snuffed out in his absence just as surely as in the absence of light,” Jack did move to speak then, but she silenced him. “No, it is true. Mankind would perish quickly when left in the sun, they are not creatures of light alone. Even the crops would die. And, in the end, where do you think your pain would go?” she asked, to his confusion. “When the light was waning above, there was peace. There was death but no pain, for the Darkness eats it quickly, draws power from it and does so with great skill, great efficiency. The light does not need it and so leaves it to its bearer. Death in the light, I’m sure of it, would <em>hurt.”</em></p><p>“Lily...” he began but trailed off, unsettled. </p><p>“He is ambitious, it is true, and has gained and lost control of your world many times since the battle began,” Lily said, speaking more softly, not looking at him anymore.</p><p><em>“My</em> world?” Jack questioned, sounding slightly disbelieving that he had heard her. Lily continued as though he had not spoken.</p><p>“-but the struggle is a futile one, they will forever be fighting for the middle ground. He knows this, but to cease the struggle is to be overtaken, invaded. The result would be dire. For us <em>and</em> for you.”</p><p>“You speak as though you are <em>of</em> that realm,” Jack said resentfully, his hands searching the lining of the bag for pockets.</p><p>“Because I <em>am!”</em> Lily shouted at him, making him jump. “I made the decision to be with him, <em>before</em> I disappeared, after spending every night with him for <em>months</em> in dreams. I sit before you now a woman long married, I <em>carry his child</em> and you have no idea, would not <em>believe</em> the things I did to make it possible. This child was no accident and I am the one who asked him to give it to me, because I <em>wanted</em> it. I took a <em>human life</em> to achieve it, Jack, in ritual sacrifice. It is not a thing that he has ever asked me to do, but I pursued it. I planned the rite and carried it through myself <em>without</em> his guidance because that is what I am willing to do in order to have his children, because I <em>love</em> him. I plan to do it again.” </p><p>His face took on a look of panic at her comments but he did not seem to know what to say and continued what he was doing. He started pulling out more small pieces, little cases that he opened and discarded, bundles with things inside that he discounted but which hurt her eyes to look at.</p><p>“I have discovered that I am better suited to the dark. It is a different kind of love that dwells in Darkness, a deeper kind, a desperate kind. The kind that you can <em>never</em> recover from. I ask you, if you have no Darkness inside of you at all, if you sit in perfect contentment and joy by your very nature, why ever would you need to love someone? You would never know loneliness or the yearning for peace that love answers if you know no struggle. His yearning is deep, and it fills me with such joy to meet it. To be needed by someone whose need is so great is a profound thing. It makes me <em>more.</em> Sometimes the way he <em>looks</em> at me, like he is <em>suffocating</em> and I am his only hope for air…” Lily shook her head, meeting Jack's eyes as he glanced up for just a minute. “You <em>never</em> looked at me that way. And<em> I</em> have more need than even I realized. I have discovered a deep hunger within myself for many things that no human man could give me. Whether it was always there in wait or it has grown to meet him I could not say, but as things stand I could find joy with no creature less grand. I could never find joy with you.”</p><p>Jack stopped, looking searchingly into her face but was distracted as his hand found something in the bag's lining. Outside the sky had quickly darkened and Lily said a silent thanks as Jack struggled with it, pulling hard and tearing the cloth inside. </p><p>“This was sewn in,” he breathed quietly as he examined the bundle, cloth tied with string and then wrapped in chain. “The chain has no clasp…”</p><p>“Because she did not want anyone to undo it and touch whatever is inside, Jack. Perhaps you should leave it,” Lily told him, nervous. </p><p>He stared up at her, his eyes wet and bleary, looking overwhelmed and more than a little lost.</p><p>“She gave me something to break locks in case you were chained,” he said abruptly, wiping his eyes briefly before searching the pile, looking for the items he’d returned to Ardat earlier. Lily almost cried again as he found what he was looking for and easily removed the safeguard.</p><p>The same torch which had been thrown <em>near</em> the window earlier came <em>through</em> the window suddenly, the smoke emanating from it acrid and thick. Coughing and shielding his face Jack ducked to retrieve it, throwing it right back out. More goblin shouting was heard, rude language and yowling. Lily groaned and buried her face in a blanket, growing a little lightheaded as he picked up a cloth and started fanning the room to clear the smoke. At least they were doing <em>something.</em></p><p>She took a few seconds to breathe and calm herself and when she raised her head there was a different scent on the wind, unpleasant but thoroughly welcome. Sulfur. </p><p>“Oh, thank the Mother,” she sobbed, catching Jack's attention. He scented the breeze himself, running to each window and searching the landscape tensely.</p><p>“I don’t see anything but the goblins,” he said, though he returned to the previously chained bundle with urgency. </p><p>“Their scent precedes them,” she told him with satisfaction. Real help would be along soon.</p><p>
  <em>“Whose?”</em>
</p><p>Lily did not answer as he unwrapped the item, rolled in layer after layer of thin fabric. She could see why one might keep it in such a way. It was a very effective stall, might provide time to stop someone from finishing the unrolling. Ardat seemed to very much <em>not</em> want anyone to touch this.</p><p>That thought brought with it a fresh wave of wild fear and Lily threw herself from the bed, crawling as quickly as she could towards him, grabbing his leg before he reacted. He backed away from her but the space was small and he disrupted a shelf, knocking it to the floor, stumbling but regaining his feet.</p><p>She clutched at his clothing and did her best to drag him downwards, hoping to get whatever it was away from him and maybe fling it from a window but under the best of circumstances she could not match his strength and she still felt heavy and sluggish, maddeningly clumsy. Lily made a frantic sound as he stepped away from her, trying to keep out of her grip rather than fight her off, still unwrapping whatever he had found.</p><p>“Lily, <em>stop.</em> Lily,” he repeated as she grabbed at him, striking at his knees and shins weakly. There was a moment in which she almost succeeded in elbowing his groin but he turned in time and in her frustration she crawled to the table instead to find his dagger, having every intention of doing him as much harm as possible. When he saw her move for it he stumbled over her legs to retrieve it first but as he caught himself on the table she snatched it, nearly cutting the palm of her good hand as the blade was turned towards her.</p><p>Jack stood and she turned the dagger, sinking it deeply into his thigh. He cried out and crumpled over her and for a moment Lily felt triumphant, giddy, until he was scrambling to get away and she was overcome with a <em>magnificently</em> horrible pain which emanated from her own side, streaking white hot through the rest of her body.</p><p>Lily let out a shattering scream, curling in on herself and seizing as Jack pulled away, dragging the leg which the hilt of his dagger protruded from. She tried to turn and cover her wound but could not touch it, shrieking and writhing on the floor in agony, unable to even <em>look</em> at whatever was lodged inside of her. Her eyes slipped away from the spot disconcertingly when she tried like water from an oilskin, making her even more dizzy and causing bile to rise in her throat. Sobbing, Lily retched onto the floor, eyes burning as fiercely as her blood, as fiercely as the gash below her ribs. She was still bawling and moaning, spitting as her tears and the lights blinded her when she felt his hands on her again. </p><p>“Get <em>off</em> of me,” she sobbed, too weak to fight him. </p><p>“I'm sorry… I'm sorry…. I'm sorry, Lily…” he chanted, and she could hear that he was crying himself. “Let me take it out. I'm only trying to take it out, <em>please…”</em> </p><p>She hid her face against the floor, unable to keep still though she tried mightily. Her legs shifted as the pain continued to shoot through her, arms clenched in front of her as she tore at her hair. Jack held her down and she let him, bracing herself as well as she could before there was another excruciating stab and finally the worst of the sharpness retreated, the unbearable heat and the screaming of her nerves calming to an ache that throbbed and stung but felt positively euphoric after what she had just experienced. </p><p>Clutching her head and sobbing, Lily noticed that Jack held a hand against her side, likely to try to stop her bleeding. He moved it a moment and let out a panicked moan, finding a discarded blanket to hold against it.</p><p>“Why is your blood <em>black?”</em> he asked hysterically, placing his hands over whatever he had found. She only kept weeping, barely listening to him, but when his words registered she felt a new fear. Her blood was <em>not</em> black, had not been black the last time she'd seen it. “I'm so sorry, Lily… I fell, and I just… it was in my hand, I didn't mean…”</p><p><em>“Shut up,”</em> she hissed at him, voice thick with her tears. He went silent and she felt her stomach lurch again, pain streaking like lightning from her injury. When finally she lifted herself with difficulty, shifting Jack's hand and moving the blanket to look at it she was amazed at it's size, which seemed a great deal smaller than she expected. Dark blood oozed from it and she pressed the blanket to the wound again, shoving Jack's hovering hand away, going limp once more.</p><p>She huddled on the floor miserably, opening her eyes as she noticed sounds outside that made her laugh a tearful, exhausted laugh. A familiar chittering, a chorus of hisses that signaled pack hunting but only so close and no further. There were imps on the tree surrounding but not approaching the windows, the little ones that climbed, but they could not enter. Jack's wards did not keep them back but the lanterns did, yet they sat just beyond each threshold in wait for an opportunity. </p><p>The dagger was still in Jack's thigh and he only stared at her, sobbing himself while the creatures of Night sat waiting and the woman he had sought to save bled and cried in his care.</p><p>“I want to go <em>home,</em> Jack,” she told him, looking into his eyes as hers overflowed. Her voice broke as she said it, his name barely an anguished whisper on her lips.</p><p>He nodded, looking back at her for a long moment. “I've really made a terrible mistake, haven’t I?” he whispered finally. </p><p><em>“Yes,”</em> she gasped, hopeful and trying not to be sick again.</p><p>Jack looked like he might be sick too, only in part due to the blade in his leg. “Oh, god,” he mumbled, looking around him. He saw his bag underneath the overturned shelf and stretched to reach it, fighting to unhook the strap from a corner. Shakily he reached in to remove the lilies, bruised and wilted after all they’d been through. </p><p>“I'll cut them free, but I need my… I need my knife…” he gestured to his leg, not touching the blade still embedded, blinking slowly, looking briefly as though he might lose consciousness. He took a breath and shook his head, searching the things scattered on the floor and finding a soft bag, turning out whatever it held and rolling it up sloppily. He placed the bundle next to the dagger and took a couple of deep breaths with his fingers trembling just over the handle before yanking it out quickly with a sharp grunt and covering the wound, applying pressure unsteadily. The cloth was quickly soaking but he just held it down more firmly, leaning his weight against it. With one hand he fumbled with the knife, just able to cut through the twine wrapped around the stems of the lilies, hand moving back to his wound as soon as they were free.</p><p>All at once Lily felt lighter, more alert. It was easier to move and breathe, though the effects of her injury remained. She moaned a little and tried to summon a different cloth to dress it but nothing came. The gathering energy of it was perceivable to her just beyond her fingertips, the little space in the air where the matter would have slid into the room, but she could not pull it through, unbound but exhausted and dealing with a strange wound.</p><p>“What did you cut me with?” she asked Jack, her voice halting, hiccupping. </p><p>He searched the floor for a moment before reaching for something small and holding it out for her examination, but again whatever it was she could not see. Jack's skin seemed odd and distorted <em>around</em> it as she tried to look, her eyes feeling almost physically repelled from the spot in an extremely disorienting manner. Her stomach rolled and she was overcome very suddenly again with nausea, turning and heaving bile onto the floor. </p><p>“Put it away, cover it u-" she told him urgently before gagging again, nothing left in her stomach but unable to cease. Lily squeezed her eyes shut tightly as the deep unease the thing had produced retreated when Jack presumably hid it away. </p><p>“I’m sorry, Lily… for everything. I'll take you back,” he said quietly, stuttering. She looked up and saw him begin searching his things, still holding his leg.</p><p><em>“They</em> will take me back,” she said, pointing to a window. Jack stilled, seeming to hear the low, constant hissing of the imps for the first time. He nodded slowly. “I'm not sorry for stabbing you,” she added.</p><p>“That's alright,” he told her, looking at the blood-soaked cloth he still held.</p><p>“Maybe you shouldn't try to be such a damned hero from now on,” she suggested, her voice raspy.</p><p>“Maybe,” he agreed.</p><p>Lily stared at him, still in pain, still nauseous, still afraid for herself and trying desperately not to think yet of the consequences of all this for her child but finally allowing relief to creep in. She could not stop another flood of tears, watching as Jack also fell back to weeping at the sight. They sat for a minute looking at one another before he adjusted his grip on his leg and raised his left hand, holding it in front of her. </p><p>“Will you take the ring?” he asked. His hand shook where he held it, paler than usual and smeared with red. “I can never seem to take it off. I've tried so many times, but I just… will you please just take it?” </p><p>She looked at her ring and his blood on it, deciding that reclaiming it was a very good idea indeed. Her own hand shook as she reached to slide it off, her fingers slipping around it. The ring stuck on his pinky and she twisted, using the blood on his hand to help wriggle it off as he pulled in the opposite direction. It came loose with some force, jarring them both backwards a bit. There was a pale line across his finger and a small indentation which he rubbed with his thumb, eyes slipping closed as she watched him fairly deflate in some kind of release, far too long in coming. Lily slipped it onto her right hand, sighing as something inside of her eased also.</p><p>Pulling the blanket away from her side she found her skin streaked with alarmingly dark blood, though the flow of it had slowed. The gash was only perhaps an inch in length but burned and ached like no other wound she had ever sustained. She touched it gingerly, hoping that it would not start bleeding afresh on the journey home.</p><p>Out of the corner of her eye Lily saw movement, a tawny flutter against the ceiling. She went still as she noticed the bird, clinging to the supportive planks of wood that lined the walls and carefully, quietly opening a lantern with its beak. Lily struggled to watch, closing one eye to try to catch the shape of the bird in the light, but as soon as the lantern was opened the light leaked out of it and it was empty glass. </p><p>The owl hopped carefully to the next lantern, opening that one as well. As it moved Lily noticed that the room was less blinding than it had been and looked about to see nearly half of the corners lined with unlit glass, silently opened as they had been distracted. Each of the lanterns along the floor was already out and she wondered if she should tell Jack. He was poised to release her and perhaps what she was sure would come next was unnecessary. </p><p>She had been right, in the end. It had been <em>spectacularly</em> difficult to convince him and neither of them had come out unscathed but here they were. Lily decided to at least warn him.</p><p>“It's about to happen, Jack.”</p><p>He stopped, eyes opening to fix on her. By his stricken look she got the sense that he knew exactly what she meant but it took him another moment to notice the light level in the room and then the owl, gasping and jumping up as best as he was able, keeping off of his hurt leg. He chased the bird as it flew from one side of the room to the other, no longer being discreet, opening lanterns quickly and noisily while easily keeping out of his reach as he limped and stumbled.</p><p><em>“No,</em> leave those,” he shouted. Lily could certainly guess why he might like to keep them after this incident.</p><p>She sat calmly, watching as the owl opened the last few lanterns, watching as Jack watched, frantic. As the last one went out and sweet, beautiful Darkness surrounded them she smiled, glad tears emerging now as the spirit eyes of her husband opened from every corner and little imps started flooding in from the windows, crawling rapidly over every inch of every frame.</p><p>She closed her eyes and let the imps pick her up, felt herself lifted and moved, surrendering gratefully as she heard Jack shouting and struggling. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter is two actual chapter lengths because I couldn't split it up but it just kept getting longer and also because I could NOT let another chapter go by without getting to this point. Believe me, I'm as sick of Jack as you are but the plan has ALWAYS been the plan and everything has its reasons. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯</p><p>My workplace has reopened and I am now officially back at my job. Please note that I am moving from working zero hours a week directly to forty, so though I will do my utmost I apologize in advance for any delays in posting. We're in the home stretch for this fic now (sort of, like at least the last third I'm POSITIVE, mostly), and I don't want to start lagging now of all times.</p><p>Anyway, I hope you're all as relieved as I am to get out of that damned treehouse.</p><p>Xx</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Reunion, Retribution and Ties That Bind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lily tried not to hold her breath as she was heaved smoothly through a window frame by dozens of grasping hands and slithering tails which clung to her limbs at all angles. She felt disoriented as she was turned and tilted and the air rushed by her first in one direction and then another but went limp, knowing that she would not be allowed to fall even as she was tipped and carried headlong downwards.</p><p>The scent of sulfur grew more pungent as they neared the ground and the imps leapt onto the backs of the great, hulking beasts which waited snarling below. Lily felt silky fur against her face and wrapped her arms around the neck of the hound, feeling the imps keeping their hold on her so that she stayed mounted securely despite her weakness and fatigue. They clung to the sides of the brute as it started swiftly away and she opened her eyes for just a moment to watch the silhouetted trees passing quickly by her, dark blurs moving alongside them that she assumed were the rest of the packs.</p><p>She turned her face outwards to let the air run over it, taking deep, deliberate breaths, anticipation and impatience making her head light and their travels long. The hounds ran with preternatural speed and smoothness, covering miles of hilly forest with ease in minutes though the span of every heartbeat stretched and lingered as they raced towards the reckoning of each one that she had spent out of her lord’s embrace.</p><p>The minutes stretched on as they ran, apparently farther away than she'd thought, making her wonder how long Jack had carried her. Too tired to give it much thought, too excited to finally be headed home Lily just breathed her love to the shadows on the wind that whipped around her. No matter how quickly they ran he would hear her, no doubt keeping his perception closely trained on their movement through the dark wood. She felt the wisps of his ghostly touch in return as they rode on, allowing the sensations to lull her into a peaceful daze as the rest of the journey passed.</p><p>When finally there was a leap which jostled her and immediately she felt warmer and inhaled to find familiar scents, dry minerals and lingering dark magic and smoke from fires and incense she shuddered in relief. The imps jumped away as the hound slid to a stop and she was lifted without delay into her husband’s strong arms, the true, intense heat of his body pleasurably shocking after so long without it. His kiss was frantic, hungry, so full of all of his desire and tenderness for her that she could practically taste the loneliness of her absence on his tongue.</p><p>Lily kissed him back just as fiercely, forgetting all of the pains of her body as his nearness overtook everything else. For a few blissful moments there was nothing but the two of them without distance, nothing but his arms around her and his eager lips and the hard line of his chest against hers but soon they were distracted, a stifled groan and low hissing turning her lord's head sharply away from her. Lily's followed and she saw Jack on the floor held down by imps, apparently trying to struggle away, eyes on the two of them while the hounds lingered nearby.</p><p>She felt his entire body stiffen and begin to tremble around her as he caught sight of Jack and his gaze fixed intently, the growl in his throat bestial and the snarl that curled his lip fearsome. Through his tension he remained gentle with her, bending slowly to place her on her feet.</p><p>“Wait,” Lily said belatedly, but he was already standing again and striding quickly towards Jack who uselessly fought harder against the imps at the sight. She followed him but her breath was short and his legs were <em>exceptionally</em> long and by the time she caught his arm he already had Jack by the throat and had lifted him so that they were nose to nose, there being no contest between them in brute strength. “Please,” she gasped, watching as Jack choked. His hands tore at her lord’s wrists while his legs kicked ineffectually at his knees, eyes panicked as they locked with the infuriated gaze that seared into him. She pulled at his elbow, pressing her face against his arm and kissing his skin over and over, not knowing what else might calm him.</p><p>“I will hurt him and then he will die,” he spat, hands tightening marginally.</p><p><em>“Please,</em> beloved. If you kill him I will <em>think</em> about him,” she said desperately. It stilled him, relaxed his hands again though not enough to free the man in his grip, halted his growl though it did not slow his breath or uncurl his lip. “Look at me, my love. Please. <em>Please,”</em> she begged, reaching one hand up to stroke his cheek. Slowly his head turned, angled down to meet her eyes as her palm slid against his face, fingers tracing his ear in a way that tended to put him to sleep in quiet moments. “I don’t ever want to think about him again but if you kill him I will not be able to help it. He was about to let me go. I will dwell on that, won't I?” she asked him, searching his eyes deeply to reach him past the savage ire that seethed within them. “Isn’t it in my nature? Don't I cling to these things when I feel unsure whether something is <em>right?</em> Don’t I cling to the ghosts of people I once cared for? Have you not seen me linger in sentiment because I cannot let people go even when they have not been important to me in <em>years?</em> Worry for them even when they have hurt me? I have never been able to change that about myself. You know, don’t you? You <em>know.”</em></p><p>She nodded at him, still holding his face, watching as he slowly nodded also, eyes still on her. “And I will think to myself, ‘we should have let him go,’ and I'll think it over and over, won't I?” she continued and he blinked and nodded once more. “I'll regret it. It will make me angry and I will feel that anger while looking at <em>you.”</em> With those words she saw his eyes change, saw his body shudder with something other than rage. “I don't want to be angry with you, especially not over <em>him.</em> I don’t ever want to look at you and see his face for <em>any</em> reason. I just want to forget him and if you kill him now I don’t know how long that will take. Help me to <em>forget</em> him. Don’t you want that?”</p><p>His arms had slowly lowered and Jack's feet just barely touched the ground. He had wisely ceased his struggle as Lily spoke, loose enough under the monstrous red hands to breathe shallowly but evenly.</p><p><em>“Yes,”</em> her lord gasped out, the rough, low timbre of his voice turning the word into a harsh rumble which was more felt in the tense air than heard. He did not like her thoughts to be anywhere but with him, a thing she knew not by his words but by the careful way that he tried and failed to not sulk when he suspected she might be thinking of <em>anyone</em> else. He was deeply covetous of her every affection and frequently sought her attention jealously if he felt that anything else had caught it. Neither of them would enjoy the regret that she was so certain would come for her, stealing moments here and there which should have been joy between them, but if she grew distracted by this he would probably end up regretting it himself.</p><p>“He understands now,” she said, kissing his arm again softly while still holding his eyes. “He won’t come back.”</p><p>There was a beat of silence between them, agitated breathing the only sound in the cavernous hall. “He must pay for his crimes,” he argued shakily, reining in his temper with obvious effort. “I <em>will not</em> be left unsatisfied in this. He has done us an injury which cannot be left unacknowledged. He has done <em>me</em> an injury which<em> I</em> refuse to leave unanswered.” Lily thought on this, deciding that she was in agreement. Jack deserved a <em>lesson</em> and her husband surely deserved something for his anguish, inflicted by this mortal man half his size and comparatively infinitesimal in power. She could not deny him some token of vengeance or it would eat at him as surely as Jack's death would eat at her.</p><p>“Then take something from him,” she offered, “only not his life.”</p><p>Jack's breath regained its panicked edge even as she watched her lord's frame soften in relief and his eyes slip closed a moment. He looked back to the man in his grip and lifted him again, just enough to stare <em>directly</em> down at him. With torturous slowness he raised one hand, sliding it up Jack's jaw and cheek, claws scraping menacingly but not piercing skin while the smaller hands still clutched at his wrists. As long ruby fingers covered half of Jack’s face and slit pupils dilated in anticipation he paused, his scowl fierce again.</p><p>“Your third insult will be your last, boy. She will not sway me again.”</p><p>Lily watched as they looked at each other, something passing between them which was more than that threat. After a minute her lord's thumb raised to Jack's scalp, the wicked point of its claw sinking brutally into his hairline. Throat still constricted, Jack's scream was strangled but loud as the claw crept down his brow, unhurriedly carving a viscious gash into his flesh. Blood dripped down his face as the claw crested his eye socket and dug into it, his screams growing louder and even more pained as Lily listened calmly, kissing her husband's arm yet again even as Jack's eye was slowly, agonizingly pierced and destroyed. The jagged line was continued below the ravaged eye, down his cheek and around his jaw, all the way down until the hand was back at his throat, bloodied and steadier than before. Jack was dropped to the floor gasping and bleeding heavily from two wounds, hands raised over his mutilated face, leg soaked and seeping still. Imps circled around him, chittering, hissing, waiting for direction.</p><p>“Take him to the edge of the forest and leave him,” Lily said to the imps, leaning tiredly on the warm, solid body next to her, taking comfort and drawing strength from his heat. She felt <em>exhausted</em> and now remembered her own injuries, feeling the sharp, throbbing pain in her side as she thought of it and Jack was dragged away, hauled to a dark, lupine back and carried off. She turned, not watching him go.</p><p>She was lifted again and held close as his quick steps took them towards the private rooms that they shared. Her arms were tucked between them and she just nuzzled into his shoulder and pressed herself against his chest as he held her, looking up to see the doors to the great hall outright disappear as soon as they closed behind them. Turning her face to his neck Lily inhaled deeply and laid her lips to the crook, savoring the scent and smoothness of his skin. Overwhelmed by relief and trembling with the force of her love for him she opened her mouth and her tongue swept out to find his taste, her most persistent craving.</p><p>Mindless, thinking only of the want inside of her to be as close to him as possible, to be bodily attached to him she gathered his corded flesh between her teeth and bit down hard, sucking and pulling at him as he groaned sharply and her breath grew heavy and finally dissolved into sobbing even while her jaw remained locked at his neck. He stumbled and slowed, leaning against a pillar and sinking to the floor with her in his lap, one shaking hand at her back and the other in her hair as she clung to him with her teeth and cried.</p><p>Her side ached and she badly needed him to treat her wound but could not pull away to say so, the tried state of her emotions, already especially volatile and delicate as her body changed and now run so thoroughly ragged from this ordeal choking her and making her need to remain attached to him override all else. A twinge in her belly stole her breath, reminded her of what she had to lose besides her lover whose arms she now rested in safely and gave her the will to finally release his neck and raise her head.</p><p>“I'm hurt,” she said, pushing at his arm which he lifted to expose her side, sliding the fabric of her gown until the gash was visible through the torn bodice. She opened her mouth to speak again but when he saw the wound and the blackness that seeped from it in slow drips his agitation was immediate, his body growing rigid as he spat curses in a language that she did not speak, voice deep and guttural, the viciousness of his reaction alarming her terribly. He stood with her and rushed to the workroom which she now saw that they had been quite close to, sitting her on the workbench and ripping her dress from its existing tear.</p><p>He cleansed the wound with a linen soaked in wine which stung but she bit her lip and tried her best to be stoic, knowing that the worst was likely yet to come. A wave called to his hands a jar of loose bones which he picked through and grew impatient before tossing it away to shatter on the floor. Another gesture and a small bat was clutched in his huge hand, startled and squeaking before he removed its head with an almost gentle flick of his immense fingers. With quick efficiency he stripped the delicate skin from one wing and removed a thin bone, bringing it to his face and performing a few fine manipulations of it, carving it to his purpose.</p><p>Another flick of his fingers and he held a spool of black thread, taking an end and leaving the roll to drop where it would. He threaded it through the needle he had just made from the bat’s bone and then guided her back, supporting her gently as she laid across the tabletop. Next to her head sat several bowls and vials and at the very end of the workbench by his chair and crystal was an odd pile of white dust which she forgot about as he pronounced another foreign word and pushed the needle through the pulse point of his wrist, dragging the length of the thread through the vein. Her eyes were distracted by something wrapped around his pinky next to his ring, a dark cloth that she had not noticed earlier. There was also a large, healing cut along the inside of his forearm which worried her, though she suspected that she could attribute it to the deeply hued contents of the bottles next to her.</p><p>Carefully he pinched her skin together, taking a moment to rearrange her arm. She moaned in anticipation when he touched the sore flesh, unable to keep it back though his fingers were as tender on her as they had ever been.</p><p>“Deep breaths, my love,” he said, catching her eye and taking a breath with her before bending close and sinking the bone into her damaged skin. Lily cried out but quickly sank her teeth into the heel of her uninjured hand, her cries quieting to muffled whimpers as she did her best to hold still while he made small, meticulous stitches.</p><p>Though the needle was painful the thread running through her was somehow calming the burn that lingered under her ribs. By the time he was halfway through she was breathing deeply and slowly, the ache having turned dull in its heat and her head having grown light. She felt almost drunk in the aftermath, finally safe and <em>home</em> and with this pain prodded and then soothed.</p><p>“This is the sort of attempt that I worried over. We are fortunate that the wound is not larger but even a small cut such as this has potential to do great harm. The tiniest nick from the blade that did this left untreated would eventually be death to the brethren. To pierce the heart with it death would be instant.” He finished the stitches and stopped, staring at the neat line of thread and the blood smeared around it, observing the swollen tissue with his mouth set in a dour line. “He nearly killed you. Left alone or tended improperly this cut would have continued to bleed dark energy out of you until you weakened and died.” Lily's breath caught and he laid his hand over her side, palm covering the injury ever so gently and fingers softly stroking the still tiny but slightly grown bump under her navel. “Even now we should watch it closely. How long ago did it happen?”</p><p>“Not long. Just before we came here.”</p><p>He sighed, moving his hand to cover her belly and staring at the wound again, worry in his eyes. “You will tell me if you feel ill, or… strange?”</p><p>“Yes, of course,” Lily assured him, covering his fingers with her own. She hesitated, noting his possessive grip on her abdomen and the tension of his brow. “Do you think that our child is in danger?”</p><p>“Yes,” he admitted almost immediately, “and if they come to harm I will drag that boy back here and eviscerate him. Do not tell me that you would argue it.” His voice was a harsh whisper as he said it, eyes pleading with her. For a time she could say nothing, only shaking her head at him. If Jack's mistake had serious repercussions for their baby she may well end up killing him herself before her husband had the chance. She certainly would not defend his life again.</p><p>“In that event you would have my support and gratitude,” she told him finally to his obvious satisfaction. For all that Jack had done to her it was her tendency to feel charitable in the face of remorse, yet she suspected that no amount of remorse could bring her to regret his death if these implications manifested. There was something quite different in the idea of hurts done to this life she guarded rather than to herself. It seemed that perhaps in this love she had found the limits of her mercy, even as such a short time ago her lord had found the very first traces of his, motivated only by love for her and the desire for ease between them.</p><p>“All we can do now is wait and see.” Lily watched him pick up the needle which had dangled by her ribs, tying off the string neatly before she noticed that the other end of it where he had begun was still running through his wrist and then to the spool which lay forgotten on the floor. He severed the needle with a quick flick of his claw but hesitated to cut the end on which they were still connected and she reached out a hand, covering his reluctant fingers and squeezing.</p><p>“Help me sit?” She asked, at which he exhaled in relief and moved to fulfill her request. She leaned on him, rubbing her cheek against and then kissing his firm chest as his arms came carefully around her again. As she turned her head she saw more clearly the white dust that she had noticed earlier, the pattern it formed and the dark drops and smears running through it. Truthfully the workroom was an absolute <em>mess,</em> overturned bottles and jars on shelves, tools scattered about every surface. The floor was smudged with white and red, chalk and blood laid and hastily wiped away, piles of her lilies torn and trampled, no doubt used in spells to find and contact her. An upended jar sat behind his crystal, powdered bone spilling out. It seemed he had ended up needing the extra phalanxes after all.</p><p>Her face was lifted and his lips came down upon hers fervently as his hands cupped her cheeks. Lily moaned and met his tongue, allowing herself to forget everything but his touch as he kissed her but shortly he pulled back a small ways, still dipping to touch her lips as he groaned in frustration.</p><p>“You smell like him,” he complained softly. His sense of smell was extremely acute and she had just spent far too long in another man's <em>bed.</em> She didn’t want him to smell Jack on her either. Lily was reminded of the ring that she had retrieved back and looked at her hand, pulling it off and leaving it on the table to be dealt with later. She was also reminded of the ring and the ruby that were stolen from her, trying not to linger on the thought now.</p><p>“I want a bath anyway. I feel grimy and sore and terrible.” He pulled away to sever the thread at her side which she had kept him from earlier but she did it again, halting his action with gentle fingers. At his questioning look she lightly gripped the thread past his own wrist where it led to the spool on the floor. “Cut it here instead,” she suggested, seeing in his face that he was moved as he did so. He'd left enough slack between them for his ease of movement, plenty enough for the distance she planned on keeping from him, which was none.</p><p>He looked towards the vials and bowls that she’d noticed on the workbench earlier and waved at them, sending them presumably off to their chambers before lifting her gingerly and carrying her out of the room and down the hall. As they neared the doors to the bedchamber Lily noticed more lilies on the floor but when the doors opened and she looked past them she was stunned. At first she almost thought that it was some romantic gesture, the way the scarlet flowers covered every surface and overwhelmed the room, their fragrance thick and sweet, but they were all dropped haphazardly and as mangled as the ones in the workroom. Dark juices had dried in splashes and small puddles which smeared across the stonework, bits of bruised petals scattered about.</p><p>“What were you doing with the lilies in here?” she asked, not noting any sign of spellwork.</p><p>“Laying in them. Eating them. When I could do nothing but wait and time was being especially spiteful your scent and your flavor in the blooms was calming,” he told her candidly, never reserved about expressing to her the depths of his desire to have her with him or the encompassing character of his love. She kissed his neck in response, rubbing her lips gratefully against his skin before responding.</p><p>“It was <em>awful,”</em> she said quietly and no more, barely keeping her tears in check, eyes dampening. She was sick of crying and just wanted to be <em>with</em> him now.</p><p>“We will ensure that it does not happen again,” he told her with finality, a hard edge to his low words.</p><p>She nodded as he set her on the rim of the bathing pool, tugging at the front of her dress. The thin material was pulled from her body, going insubstantial and flowing around her like water before solidifying once more in his hand only to be dropped unceremoniously onto the floor. Lily looked up and caught sight of herself in a mirror, startled by the pinkness of her face. She also hadn’t noticed that her hands and arms were quite so red, taking note of the line that formed when she peeled away the cloth on her lantern-burnt hand. The wound looked better than she remembered it looking in the dream but still quite far from healed, the pain dull and easy to ignore next to what else her body had gone through.</p><p>Sighing, looking back at the thread Lily remembered the comment she had made while persuading him to go down to the pit, about there being no harm in spending time apart. Ardat had said otherwise, and it certainly <em>felt</em> like harm to be farther than this piece of string allowed.</p><p>“Finally sewn together, but as you predicted not quite at the hip,” she commented, watching appreciatively as he stripped himself. She was excited to sit against him in the warm water, excited to feel his bare skin against hers again.</p><p>“Not precisely what I meant,” he replied, the humor in his tone subtle but heartening. The sight of his body brought with it all of the usual heat and tingles, all of the usual affection and comfort in knowing that he was hers, her mate with all his tempting flesh, her protector as well as lover with the solid strength of it. So long as his powerful arms were around her she was safe. Her mistake had been leaving his embrace and she did not plan to make it again.</p><p>“I don't ever want to be far enough away from you that I cannot hear you breathing,” Lily said as he picked her up again, settling into their bath without letting go. He raised his knees in the water, lips to the top of her head as he cradled her.</p><p>“That sounds ideal,” he said against her hair.</p><p>“When the witch came she said there was prophesy told about us, that we shouldn’t separate. She called us ep… something. Embracing hearts,” she told him, touching the thread gently under the water where it floated.</p><p>“Epēqu libbu,” he supplied.</p><p>“Yes. Is there a great deal of prophesy about you?” She asked, unable to stymie her curiosity even now.</p><p>“Absolutely. Constantly. There is likely prophesy that describes my next meal and how many days it will be before I will trim my hooves,” he said flippantly before addressing the piece of her statement that seemed to most concern him. “She told you that we should not separate when she learned your name yet she did not attempt to free you?”</p><p>“She did, but then Jack stabbed her and threw her from a window.” He grunted. Lily leaned against him, enjoying his hands as they smoothed up her back and down her arms. Remembering what she had seen on his left hand earlier she turned enough to grab for it, first touching the long cut and the puncture wound on his forearm which had already scabbed over and begun knitting quickly together. “Did you do this to make ointments for me?” she asked, kissing the long gash. He nodded and she took a deep breath, kissing his pulse point also where the thread ran through him. “And this?” Lily touched the black bandage around his pinky, concerned that he had opted to get it wet rather than remove it.</p><p>“A scratch,” he told her too quickly, causing her to narrow her eyes. Normally he would have just factually described what had happened. This injury was something that she would not like.</p><p>“How did you get this ‘scratch'?”</p><p>“I needed it, so I used it and then I put it back,” he explained, as though it were <em>reasonable.</em></p><p>“Your <em>finger?”</em></p><p>“I <em>needed</em> it,” he insisted. Lily thought hard about what he might have used it for as she noticed that it was just slightly crooked, carefully twisting it back into place though it pained her. She thought of his shadows touching her in ways that they had never done before as she lay under the fur on Jack's bed, wondering if he had really severed his own finger just to comfort her. In all honesty it did seem rather like him to do.</p><p>“Did you do this so that I could feel you?”</p><p>“I did <em>not,”</em> he avowed, so emphatic in his statement that it made her suspicious all over again. “I used the phalanx powder so that you could feel me.”</p><p>“Then <em>why?”</em></p><p>He looked at his hand, leaning forward until his brow touched hers. “So that<em> I</em> could feel <em>you,”</em> he confessed, eyes slipping closed as his other hand slid up her back.</p><p>Lily could have cried again but just released his hand and fell back against him, letting his skin under her cheek and his heartbeat under that calm her. She allowed him to care for her passively, telling him everything that had happened while he carefully lathered her skin and washed her long hair, sure not to jostle her and saying little as she ranted and sobbed at intervals. When her stomach rumbled he retrieved a bowl of fruit, feeding her while he bathed her and she remained limp. Once she felt clean he lifted them from the water and sat her down again, retrieving a vial that she now saw had been waiting on a nearby table.</p><p>The contents were pink and thin and coated her skin lightly as he slathered her face and arms, calming the persistent itch which had been the least of her worries but which she was more comfortable to be rid of. He looked her over critically and then bent to apply more to her feet, also pink as she had not been wearing shoes. When that was done he placed another small bottle in her right hand, retrieving a thicker, darker paste from a bowl to coat the fingers of her left.</p><p>“Drink that,” he instructed, uncorking it for her. “Hold it in your mouth first.”</p><p>She did as he bade without question, grimacing only slightly at the medicinal, alcoholic flavor of the potion. He took the bottle from her and dropped it carelessly, pulling small strips of rich linen from the air to wrap her fingers which he did with delicacy, individually so that she could move them well enough, sore but also feeling improved with his remedies. Last was more of the paste over her stitches and a long strip of the same fabric wrapped around her waist to cover it, the thread that had yet to tug away from him by attentive care peeking from below.</p><p>All in all she felt much improved, ready to climb into bed with him and pretend that she had never been away. She let him pick her up again but pointed to the fruit bowl with a giggle, kissing his jaw as it raised into the air to follow them. He settled them comfortably on the bed nested in furs with her lounging back and he caging her with his limbs, arm draped over her hips and thigh stretched over her shins, knee bent to tuck her feet against his calf. As she ate her fill his lips nuzzled the undersides of her breasts and dipped into her navel, small, affectionate movements that felt intimate and only mildly erotic, seeking contact rather than titillation. Soft kisses were placed against her skin, his eyes closed.</p><p>“Dearest?” She asked, voice quiet and breathy, her voice just for him. He looked up at her and waited, still kissing her belly. “The baby wants <em>blueberry juice.”</em></p><p>He chuckled lowly, kissing her again before raising his hand to summon a chalice and fill it, presenting it to her like wine at an altar. She sipped at it as they both held the stem and then offered it to him, letting him send it away afterwards along with the bowl beside them.</p><p>“Come here,” she said, enjoying the slide of his skin against hers as he moved up to lay facing her, still wrapped around her body. Their lips met and their passions tumbled forth in slow, thorough caresses of their tongues that left her smoldering, needing him impatiently and trying to keep as much contact as possible. Though she was still sore she wanted him so badly that she did not think she could wait, shifting her hips to find his sex which twitched and hardened as they kissed and she squirmed and rubbed against him.</p><p>There was absolutely nothing better than the heat of his body completely pressed to hers, nothing more comforting than his bare skin. Her arm snaked around his ribs and she moaned, lifting a knee and placing it over him to better feel his hardness. She reached down to angle him more fully towards her, sliding his head along her moistening flesh before tilting her hips to slip it just inside of her.</p><p>They moaned and rocked together, hips shifting in the bed until they were as close as possible. “You are well?” he asked, breath heavy as his fingers ghosted along her side.</p><p>“Just go slowly,” she requested, laying her cheek against his chest before he rolled over her, arranging her legs delicately and surrounding her with his body, keeping their skin in contact without allowing her to feel any of his weight.</p><p>He kept her steady, the leisurely drag of him inside of her distracting her from her pains with needed pleasure, reconnecting them physically as they mended, reaching towards each other, closer yet than before in the wake of separation. He kissed first her eyes and then her mouth, his hands moving to cup her head while hers traced the grooves in his back. She turned her head and kissed the thread in his wrist once more, his own head dipping to lay a cheek to her brow.</p><p>They moved lazily, taking solace in togetherness and sensation and driven to peak all too soon, their time apart an unusual length for them to spend without finding release in each other’s bodies. When she felt her core tighten and her limbs spasm she clung to him, the answering throb inside of her like a balm to her pummeled heart.</p><p>“I would not overtax you tonight,” he told her after a minute, stilling himself though he was still stiff with want and her own flesh still hungered for his. She had to admit that her stitches were sore now that they had paused long enough for her to feel them.</p><p>“Probably for the best,” she admitted, though they did not rush to separate.</p><p>“I will overtax you on another night,” he declared, tracing her nose with his.</p><p>“I look forward to it,” she replied, smiling fondly up at him. “Until then, more blueberry juice?” she asked hopefully.</p><p>“More blueberry juice,” he muttered, lips upturned at one end. He rolled so that he was next to her rather than on top of her, his horns clacking noisily against the headboard, which he ignored. The chalice was called back and more juice was offered which she propped herself up to gulp at happily.</p><p>As her eyes were in the cup she heard him take a deep breath, shifting to sit. “Lily,” he said softly, something in his tone putting a chill into her peaceful mood.</p><p>Lily lowered the cup and met his eyes, the look in them worrying her further as he gestured. She glanced at his gradually softening manhood as he swiped his fingers down it, showing her faint smudges of the same dark blood that had seeped from her side. Gasping, hand flying between her own thighs she also sat, pulling away to find the same thing, just the tiniest trickle of black.</p><p>“What do we do?” she asked, at a loss.</p><p>He shrugged one great shoulder, looking as uncertain as she. “Sleep,” he told her finally, his hands moving gracefully, pulling his crystal globe through the ether and anchoring it in the air in front of him. <em>“You</em> sleep,” he amended. “Sitting up fretting will do neither of you any good. Let me cast for an answer as you rest.” He bent to kiss her, urging her back to the bed.</p><p>She went, leaning against him and trying hard to calm herself. His scent, the sound of his breath and the soft, familiar texture of the bed lulled her just enough to let her exhaustion take over, long past due as it was. She held the thread that still tied them lightly, comforted by its presence.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I can't stop with the crazy long chapters, apparently. I hope it's not overwhelming!</p><p>I also hope that we're satisfied enough with Jack's fate (a stern talking-to! XD)- I know that most of us were rooting for that evisceration and all but it's what has *always* been in the works conceptually, Darkness showing mercy for the first time in the face of grave offence and Lily learning where hers would end- coming from opposite ends, both motivated by love. </p><p>Also, the struggle of finding time to write is REAL. We shall make do.</p><p>Last note: I'm considering doing the multi-chapter sequel... dun dun dunn! Half in Darkness POV. I have hesitated because I feel like it's very difficult to write the perspective of an ancient, nearly omnicient being with any skill, but I dunnoooooo.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Remedies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lily heard her name softly murmured in her favorite voice, deeper and more sensual than any other she could imagine. She sighed, loving the sound as he said it again, feeling warm and happy in spite of a lingering discomfort as his hand stroked her hair and then her back. She was so <em>sleepy</em> and could not quite rouse herself as he was asking until she felt him shift and place his lips to the corner of hers, all that was not buried in the pillow below her. At his soft kiss she could not help but stir to seal her lips to his in return, fumbling to push herself to her back before he helped her. Though bleary she kissed him, everything but her lips limp and exhausted.</p><p>He sighed against her and the sound was so comforting that it almost put her back to sleep but when he pulled back she pouted and managed to open her eyes.</p><p>“I know that you have not slept long but there was already intent from her so my spell manifested quickly.”</p><p>“Who?” Lily croaked. He shrugged.</p><p>“Whomever we need,” he responded simply. “I have sped her journey and let you rest until she was at our door but now she is down the hall and I thought that you might prefer to greet her while awake. I am leading her in.”</p><p>“How long have I slept?” She asked with a wide yawn.</p><p>“A bit more than an hour.”</p><p>“Well I'm glad we'll be addressing this sooner than later,” she said, willing to battle her fatigue to complete whatever task might be necessary, grateful beyond words that he had found something so soon. Blinking hard, trying to clear her head, Lily <em>almost</em> sat up but decided against it as her side protested. Instead she stayed where she was, leaning just her head upright against him to keep herself awake but allowing her eyes to slip closed as she waited. </p><p>“Would you like to dress?” he asked.</p><p>“Don't care,” she mumbled. “The sheet?” Lily felt it settle over them and was satisfied. He certainly did not much care who saw his own nudity.</p><p>The doors were already open and Lily barely registered the soft footsteps approaching the bedside, opening her eyes when he swiped his fingers across her cheek. She smiled slightly as first she saw the slender, almost feminine shadow which escorted their guest, not outlined in the silhouette of her would-be bridal gown, not dancing, but still billowing as though draped in strange, ethereal fabrics, still swaying as it beckoned the woman silently towards them. It dissipated with a wispy twirl and Lily barely had time to glance at who had come before she lost sight of her.</p><p><em>“Oh,”</em> Lily exclaimed, struggling to sit. A large hand slid along her back and then a solid arm settled behind her and she leaned on him gratefully. “Please stand, Ardat. I cannot even <em>see</em> you on the floor and if you can help us now I would not have you meek about things,” she said, closing her eyes a moment more. She was surprised to see the witch up and about as though she had not met any ill fate mere hours ago but decided to comment upon it later.</p><p>“Apologies, Mistress,” Ardat responded unsteadily, rising quickly and stepping up to the bedside but keeping her eyes averted, hands clutching something bundled in the edge of her cloak. She shook visibly and Lily supposed that it might not be <em>her</em> presence which was so intimidating at the moment, though a glance at her lord's face found it neutral, even seeming a touch worried to Lily.</p><p>“Your queen asked you not to be meek, daughter of Night,” he said, and though he spoke with the authoritative edge which entered his tone whenever addressing anyone besides Lily herself, it lacked the harshness that usually accompanied it.</p><p>Ardat nodded and took a deep breath before seeming to gather her courage and raised her eyes to his, holding them only a second before they dropped and flicked back up, this time to Lily where they held. </p><p>“Tell me that you have skills as a midwife. We need one quite desperately right now,” Lily pleaded, feeling the <em>tiniest</em> spasm in her lower back which might have been nothing but made her heartbeat quicken with worry nonetheless. </p><p><em>“Yes,”</em> Ardat said immediately, her wide eyes growing eager as she nodded. “Yes, yes, <em>yes.</em> The women of my clan have <em>always</em> helped women. We feed life and death, those are the skills we hand down from one to the next. Healing and ailing, herbs to sustain and wither. Protections and hexes. We were highly favored with many gifts,” she said reverently, tipping her head towards the Dark Lord though not looking up at him again and adding, <em>“dalī Ekletu,”</em> with great passion.</p><p>“Ikrīb lequ,” he responded, the old ritual call and response not bringing the pleased glint to his eye that Lily suspected it might’ve had the circumstances been less dire.</p><p>“I came to offer penance for my role in this, Mistress. I will provide any service within my power, and I offer this tribute,” Ardat bowed just her head, unrolling her cloak and dropping something to the bed, the items a bit dirty but sparkling grandly from under the dust which coated them. “Yours, yes? Found them casting for an offering.”</p><p>Lily nodded and gasped, reaching for the jewels but they were just a <em>touch</em> too far and she moaned a little and flinched when she leaned over. Ardat gasped herself and pushed the items forward, within Lily's reach, but her husband was already retrieving them, pulling her back to lean against him again.</p><p>“Thank you, Ardat,” she whispered tearfully as he replaced her ring on her hand, raising it to kiss the bands and then her palm after, leaving her hand against his lips. He did not behave much differently towards her in front of others than he did in private, free with his affections and endearments at any time. The ruby was dangled in front of her and she took it, holding it to her chest for a moment before laying it in her lap and looking again at the woman before her.</p><p>“I'm bleeding. I was cut with whatever was sewn into the lining of your bag,” Lily told her, hearing Ardat hiss in distress. She moved the sheet to show her side, not giving it much thought when it slipped down and exposed her breasts. Ardat barely seemed to notice herself, leaning in immediately to inspect the sutures as the bandage was shifted. She covered her mouth with both hands, eyes darting up again and back down in panic, wide and tearful.</p><p>“The wound is well tended to, but I am <em>greatly</em> shamed, Mistress. I have brought shame to myself and my foremothers by aiding in your capture and providing the blade which pierced you. No apologies are sufficient, I am unworthy of your forgiveness, unworthy of sitting in the presence of the Dark Lord.”</p><p>“Look at me now, Ardat,” Lily said softly, more plea than command. The witch's glassy eyes rose to meet hers, mournful but attentive. “We can discuss it all later, now I need your help more than your apologies. I may be your queen but I am also a woman who is pregnant and scared. I'm bleeding from…” she trailed off, choked, hardly able to voice it as terrified as she was by the thought. She gestured to her belly instead and Ardat understood, looking worried and leaning in. “It's all <em>black</em> like the blood from my side.”</p><p>“Pain? Tightness, cramping?” she asked, hands hovering now as though she might reach out and touch Lily though she did not.</p><p>“Just a little,” she answered, trying not to panic. </p><p>“May I look, Mistress? I will have to touch you,” Ardat ventured cautiously, seeming to collect herself with a task in front of her, throwing another glance towards her lord who sat quietly.</p><p>“Yes, do anything you must,” Lily responded earnestly, taking direction in how to position herself as Ardat moved the sheet further from her body, sitting on the bed after seeking further permissions. She noticed the thread which still ran across Lily's torso, pointing to it and looking up at her questioningly. Lily gently picked up the string and lifted her arm, following it until it led to the deep red skin of her husband's wrist which he lifted to showcase.</p><p><em>“Good idea,”</em> Ardat said enthusiastically, looking briefly at his face again. “Very, <em>very</em> good idea. Stay like that, maybe until it's healed,” she told them before pulling back. “I would suggest most humbly,” she added in a low voice, seeming ashamed by her own boldness, her eyes looking glassy again as they lowered to examine Lily quickly and intimately. “More than I'd like but less than I'd feared,” she concluded aloud.</p><p>“What does that mean?” Lily asked nervously, unsure whether it should calm or agitate her.</p><p>“It means that all is not lost but we must be <em>careful</em> now,” she told her, pulling a few cushions from the head of the bed and propping up Lily's legs with them, bending her knees. “You just sleep, you eat. You stay sewn up to <em>him,”</em> she tilted her head again, “You <em>don’t</em> stand up, <em>not once,</em> not until tiny Ekletu is safe, eh? We will make sure.”</p><p>“Yes please,” Lily sobbed out, the tension of it catching up with her as she blinked away a few tears.</p><p>“First I need doves to kill,” Ardat announced suddenly and plainly, squinting one eye as she stared at Lily’s belly. </p><p>“How many?” her lord asked immediately, the first time he had spoken in several minutes.</p><p>“Three,” she responded just as quickly. He held all three in a single hand at once, holding them out to the witch who accepted one, biting its head off and allowing the blood to splash her as calmly as if she bit the cork from a wine bottle. She drew a dripping pattern on Lily's belly with the blood that dribbled from its body, repeating the action with the other two white birds, retracing her increasingly messy pattern to the oddly soothing sound of frantic cooing until the third round. “Now hold still,” she instructed finally, tossing the last dove corpse to join the others on the ground and then prodding at Lily's abdomen with her fingers, not bothered as she smeared the pattern. “Still so small, but very firm. How long?”</p><p>“A month?” Lily responded, though it was more of a question as she looked up at her husband.</p><p>“Two, and a week. My queen has absolutely no sense of time and has been sleeping through a good deal more than half of hers.” Lily grumbled, though she didn't even bother to argue.</p><p>“Eager little thing,” Ardat commented. “You want this one very badly?” Lily sighed, nodding. “They want you, too.”</p><p>“Is that why I'm showing so soon?” she asked, smiling a little at the thought.</p><p>“Sometimes gallu children come quickly, sometimes slowly. Depends on a lot of things. What you eat, what you say, what the baby wants,” she listed, shrugging.</p><p>“What I <em>say?”</em></p><p>“What you say <em>to the baby</em>. Encourage them. Tell them what waits for them, tempt them to grow faster and they might,” Ardat said. “Eating a lot?” </p><p>“So much,” Lily responded.</p><p>“Good, <em>good.</em> What do you crave?”</p><p>“Fruit, mostly. Specifically the fruit that grows here. I couldn’t tolerate fruit from above.”</p><p>“I have seen the the black fruit with the dark in it that is said to be from this place. Eating plenty will help the dark baby grow. Is there something else, some food only of Ekletu? It might help now,” she suggested. “You should consume more energy than you lose.”</p><p>“There was much tribute after the storm in your absence,” her lord supplied. “The harvest waits in your garden. I would prepare it for you as you rested.”</p><p>“Is it safe to drink wine?” Lily asked. Tribute did not have the same effect without it, did not quite <em>absorb</em> properly.</p><p>“If it smells nice, taste it. If it tastes nice, drink it. If not, spit it out. Your body will tell you if you should have it, just listen.”</p><p>Without another word her lord had summoned a familiar set of silver bowls, the vessel which overflowed with black lilies larger than she expected. He was quickly squeezing the nectar into another bowl in his lap, tossing the pulp of the flowers to the floor which she noticed he had cleared of the blooms that previously littered the room.</p><p>“Why is it happening? Why am I bleeding like this, like I was from the cut?”</p><p>Ardat sighed heavily, reaching for Lily's hand. The tremor in her queen's voice seemed to cut through the witch's hesitation, a matronly softness overcoming her as she responded quietly not to her monarch but to a frightened mother to be with no experience in these matters. </p><p>“What pierced you was a fragment of a <em>claíomh solais,”</em> she began, pausing with a stuttered breath as the figure beside them growled lowly. She froze and Lily looked up at his face which was obviously quite displeased.</p><p>“I had guessed something like it from the wound,” he muttered. </p><p>“What is it?” Lily asked.</p><p>“A <em>sword of light</em>. The very first time I was run through with one was the first time I wondered truly if my physical body could die,” he told her plainly, his movement as he threw a flower to the floor sharp and angry. “My ebēbu blade is something similar of an opposite force.” The blade he mentioned was a long dagger which sat in a case on a shelf in the workroom. It was made of some black metal that was so dark it was almost difficult to look at yet so gloriously beautiful that it was also difficult to look away from, drawing the eye in a way which made her glad he kept it covered for the sake of her concentration. She had not seen him use it before but knew it to be an artifact of great rarity and power.</p><p>“It is spelled to drive out the dark from a body. For a woman of a different nature it might be salvation,” Ardat said quietly, trying to explain her possession of the thing, hesitating.</p><p>“I don't care why you needed it, I care about what it will do to my child,” Lily reminded her. Ardat nodded and regained the kind confidence of the older woman that she appeared to be, the shaking of her hands calming slightly in the practical consideration of her chosen duty.</p><p>“This child is you and he. A <em>dark</em> child with a dark spirit, like him. Darkness in your body that the wound tries to drain. <em>This</em> is good,” she waved her fingers at the thread again, “but everything is too much. The wound, the distress. I bet too… when did the blood start?”</p><p>“A couple of hours ago.”</p><p>“Right after an <em>affectionate</em> reunion?” Lily nodded but Ardat seemed to require more direct clarification. “He stuck it in you?” she asked crudely, startling Lily into a huff. Her husband beside them made no response and did not cease what he was doing, though Lily could see by the tilt of his bovine ear and furrowed brow that he listened closely.</p><p>“Well… yes,” she said honestly.</p><p>“Too much. No more until tiny Ekletu is safe and the wound is healed. No standing, no sticking, just lay down, eat, sleep. Maybe lay in a hot bath later, especially if there's more pain. I wish that I had my things,” she sighed, raising her hands in frustration. “There are herbs that I could give to you.”</p><p>“We should show her to the workroom and the garden,” Lily said to her lord, glancing at the bowl in his lap which was quickly filling. He nodded, still not speaking. “And a room with a bed. Not the baby's. I know there's another,” she added. “You’ll be staying here a while, Ardat. I really must insist.”</p><p>“I would be blessed to receive Your Majesties’ hospitality and blessed to offer myself in servitude for as long as you would have me. It would be the greatest honor of my life to serve as midwife and handmaid to Queen Lilith herself.”</p><p>Lily sighed, turning her face against the warm body next to her for a moment to gather herself before she asked her question. “Ardat… do you think that our baby will be alright?” There was quiet between the three of them as she nodded slowly.</p><p>“I think so, as long as we step lightly. I will do everything within my power to make it so,” she swore. </p><p>Lily nodded, letting out a deep breath. Just then the silver bowl full of black juice was held in front of her and she smiled up at its bearer gratefully as she propped herself up and took it from him. He now held a wine goblet as well which he held to her nose first and then to her lips when the scent met with her approval. When she found the taste sweet he drained the cup into her bowl and then steadied the bowl itself as she tipped it, drinking down its contents slowly but steadily.</p><p>As she finished and he removed the vessel she grew dizzy and fell against him, warm and limp, tingling all over, head light. She sighed and turned her face to kiss his skin sleepily, just pressing her lips against his abdomen and enjoying the sensation of it. Lily stayed like that, the haze she occupied dulling her pains and easing her little cramps, easing her worries while smooth red flesh distracted all of her attention as it pressed against her face. </p><p>“Perhaps I should leave my shadows within you as well,” he mused softly. </p><p>“That sounds <em>lovely,”</em> Lily said dreamily, hearing a short conversation regarding the nature of his spirit between he and Ardat but far too muzzy to listen closely, too delirious and relaxed to do more than moan in elation when the familiar buzzing energy of his shadows sank below her skin.</p><p>Somewhere from the corner of her eye she saw the slender dancing shadow again, trailing the witch out behind it. The body that supported her heaved a sigh once it seemed that they were alone, laying them back to the bed again with his arms around her.</p><p>“What is always on the other side of a crooked archway?” he asked, sounding exhausted himself.</p><p>“A boon,” she responded easily.</p><p>“Keep her here,” he advised simply. “She is what all of this hardship has led to.”</p><p>“Alright,” Lily agreed, eyes closing.</p><p>What seemed a terribly short time later Lily was being propped up once again, another cup held to her lips. This one was full of a warm, herbaceous liquid that she drank obediently, seeing the long red fingers she trusted most wrapped around the mug. As she finished this brew she was set down again, finally left to sleep with the warm body of her husband curled around her, one of her hands finding his as it wandered to her belly. She settled her palm over his protective grip, so glad to be here in his arms that she felt it vibrating down to her toes.</p><p>“Dearest?” she whispered breathily, eyes fluttering, edging on unconscious but unable to postpone this last request.</p><p>“Yes?” he asked, alert at once.</p><p>“I need your kisses <em>so badly,”</em> she told him, eyes overflowing suddenly and heavily, breath quiet but uneven.</p><p>His lips were against hers without delay, gentle and reassuring, passionate and soothing. As he kissed her the beat of her heart slowed again and her breath calmed, his heat blanketing her nerves. Gradually his lips slowed further, lulling her into a peaceful doze until they were still, only pressed tightly together. He lingered until her awareness was gone, his kiss the last sensation she knew before oblivion found her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>1. Hoo boy. You guys are IN FOR IT. You want MELODRAMA? You want angsty Darkness with separation anxiety? YOUR AUTHOR HAS HEARD YOUR PRAYERS.</p><p>More than one request was made for Darkness POV during their separation and though I could not put it in this story, I have finally realized that this was meant for a side piece all along. </p><p>I think you'll all be glad that it ended up this way because if I'd gone back and forth between them during MoD you’d still only get Lily's side of their actual interactions and Darkness's time outside of that. THIS way you guys get the other side of the shadow smut along with your hissy fit and your melodramatic angsting. Now isn't that worth it? I don't know when it will come out or how long it will end up but keep your eyes peeled.</p><p>2. In further planning the sequel I went back and reread most of the series up until this point and realized that I was writing this plot into little throwaway lines and being prophetic and shit waaaay back in the first couple of installments and as much as I wish I'd known *all* of this since then, also HAYYY WITCH HAYYY. </p><p>3. Was Ardat coming back predictable? Maybe. Does your author care? Nope. 😘😘😘</p><p>4. Dalī- praise (a god)<br/>Ikrīb lequ- essentially, "prayers answered/accepted."<br/>Ebēbu- Ritual spiritual cleansing<br/>Claíomh solais- Sword of light. A type of object from celtic myth, referenced in many stories. Many of these older cultures existed alongside each other and intermingled quite a lot.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Restrictions, Answers and Further Questions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Again Lily lingered in that warm space between waking and dreams, listening to the low whisper of her beloved's voice. It seemed now that he was not seeking her attention or asking that she wake and so she only enjoyed the sound as she allowed herself to drift in contentment for a while, enjoyed the soft tingling along her nerves that she knew to be his ghostly touch. After some time she became aware of his hands resting at her waist and his warm breath tickling her navel, the smooth cadence of his speech curling and rolling in patterns that she recognized but only almost understood as he spoke a language in which she was not quite fluent.</p><p>She gained a measure of awareness as a claw scraped gently across her hip and a flutter against the skin of her abdomen led to her waking further to identify his lips moving as he whispered. Lily sighed, one hand raising to blindly find his head and settle, only wanting to touch him. He rested a cheek against her and her fingers stroked him softly, playing at his ear and jawline. </p><p>“Has my lady awakened?” He asked quietly, his words running through her soothingly. A hand rose to caress her own where her fingers pressed to his face, trailed up her arm then back down again.</p><p>“Almost,” she breathed out, still fuzzy. “Breakfast?” He nudged her face towards the bedside and she smiled to see a table set against the mattress, plates and bowls and carafes standing, waiting for her attention. Lily struggled to sit and he moved also, settling himself against the headboard near the table and pulling her to lean on him with great care for her injuries and the thread which still bound them, his legs curved around her body in a cozy, protective circle while she rested on his chest. A short chitter came from above them and she glanced up to find the magpie sitting atop the headboard watching her, sitting quiet vigil as her mistress recovered.</p><p>“Hello little one,” she mumbled, glad to see her back.</p><p>She ate slowly, sleepily as he held her, his head bowed to rub his lips against her temple and nuzzle into the crook of her neck as she gradually grew more alert. The blood on her belly had dried and grown itchy and she picked at it absently while chewing on a pastry, filled with dark jam and leaving sugar on her lips. A thought occurred to her and she reached a hand down to her center, pulling it away to find no dark smears on her fingers and slumping against him in relief.</p><p>“I'm sending for the midwife,” he informed her and Lily nodded, eyes closed as she nibbled.</p><p>“So tired,” she commented, unable to stifle another yawn. Her body had been through quite an ordeal in its delicate state and she supposed that it was to be expected. His breath was warm against her hairline, hand finding its way to her scalp to thread his fingers into her curls. “That's nice,” she sighed as he tugged gently, his repetitive movements echoing the pulse of him under her skin. Her wound throbbed and she winced, turning just a little where she sat and placing her temple against him, touching the thread again. “What does keeping us tied do?”</p><p>“I'm unsure,” he admitted, watching her fiddle with the string.</p><p>Lily hummed, following it up to his wrist, delicately touching it where it met his skin. “Well why did running it through here help?” she asked, ever curious and eager to untangle magical practicalities. </p><p>“You bled spiritually as well as physically. I essentially patched you life with mine to close the spiritual wound because a physical closure alone would not have sealed it.”</p><p>“It feels strange,” she told him, finishing her pastry, considering his words. His lips pressed to her brow and his hand moved to cover the bandage, his heat soothing and his fingers stabilizing while she looked for more food. “It's sore, but it's also… I don’t know. Just strange,” she sighed, still not quite clear headed enough to articulate herself. “Ooh! I want <em>that.”</em></p><p>His long arm retrieved the bowl that she indicated without his needing to sit forward, just out of her own comfortable reach. Immediately she dipped her hand inside, not caring for the juicy, bloody mess that she made as she devoured the contents, moaning in delight. “This might be the best thing I’ve ever eaten,” she said with her mouth full of tender shredded cockatrice and citrus pulp, just warmed through and spiced with something compelling which left a mild, pleasant burn on her tongue.</p><p>“I sent out a hunting party as you slept.” He nipped softly at her ear, sliding his tongue behind it, making her shudder and squirm a little in front of him.</p><p>“So thoughtful,” she praised, turning her face up for a kiss. </p><p>“Only because my thoughts are ever full of you,” he murmured, lips hungry as they met hers. The bowl sat forgotten on her lap, her messy hand rising to his neck and holding him firmly. The taste of him was even more appealing than the cockatrice and she moaned again, chasing his tongue, heat spreading through her limbs while his fingers roamed, pinching softly at her nipples and dipping below the sheet to brush lightly at the curls between her thighs.</p><p><em>“No sticking,”</em> someone barked from the doorway, making Lily jump. Her lord caught the bowl in her lap before it overturned on the bed and she laid a hand against her heavily thumping heart, pulling the sheet up to cover them. They were very much not used to being interrupted and Ardat's sudden appearance startled her thoroughly. Though her words were hardly deferent she dipped as she entered, arms full but lifting a hand in a brief, reverent ceremonial gesture towards them before she rose.</p><p>“We weren’t,” Lily insisted, feeling like a chastened child at the tone of the other woman's voice. She’d forgotten for a moment that she had been summoned.</p><p>Ardat harrumphed and continued towards them. “Can't fool Ardat. I know where those hands were going. No fingers, no tongue. He makes you come like this,” she made a loose fist, clenching and unclenching it rhythmically in imitation of orgasmic contractions, “more blood. <em>No.”</em></p><p>“Oh,” Lily said as a low grunt came from behind her, disappointed and slightly embarrassed but glad in spite of it that the witch was so blunt. Better that she accept the scolding than do her child any injury. In fact, this pushy, presumably older woman seemed like quite exactly what she needed right now. She had no idea what to do, no guidance in how she should care for herself through her pregnancy or what to expect, no other women around her to share their stories and remedies. She needed a pushy old woman very badly indeed. “Ardat, have you had any children?” She asked after a minute, watching as she laid her bundle on the edge of the bed and began to unwrap it.</p><p>“Mm, <em>seventeen</em> of them,” she answered, laying out her supplies.</p><p>“Oh,” Lily said again, slightly stunned. “All grown, I guess?”</p><p>“All grown,” she nodded, “all moved on, some of them giving me grandchildren and great grandchildren. Some of them giving me grief. Some of them dead.”</p><p>Lily's heart constricted and she pressed herself back more solidly against her lover's skin. “I’m sorry, I can't even imagine losing a child.”</p><p>“Bah,” Ardat waved dismissively, though Lily could see the hurt behind her eyes. It looked old. “Not everyone chooses to follow the path and the price for long life is high. Even among those who practice the craft most will not pay it. All of my children have made their own choices. None of them have died young and I am grateful for that.”</p><p>“Were you married?” Lily asked, laying herself down as Ardat directed her. She stayed within the cradle of her husband's legs, her shoulders resting over his pelvis and head propped up against his abdomen.</p><p><em>“Never,”</em> she responded emphatically, prideful.</p><p>“She is da'mu'dārīu,” her lord said, a note of pleased laughter in his voice as he caught what she had told them indirectly. He squinted one eye at her and then closed them, chuckling again at what he seemed to find. “I was so preoccupied that I did not notice.”</p><p><em>“Ooh!”</em> Lily exclaimed, excited. This was the phrase that he had used to describe what she herself was now, though the rarity of humans whose lives were sustained immortally by dark energy precluded her consideration of the possibility in relation to Ardat and she had assumed instead some other magic. Charms and spells to extend life were common enough but fragile, prone to mishap and only useful against age, not injury or illness.</p><p>Ardat dipped her head towards him in a bow. “By the sacred favor of Ekletu,” she said. “I follow old traditions. Uncommon these days.”</p><p>“Uncommon indeed,” he responded, the tilt of his lip remaining. Without the great tree's fruit a special kind of devotion was required for Ardat to achieve such a status, devotion which he had lamented the decline of for years, which Lily had heard him reminisce fondly about many times. She <em>harvested</em> for him, traded death for life, collected power in his name in return for power given back in proportion. What offerings were made now had grown meager by his own comparative account, hogs and rabbits and goats and bloodied parchment set aflame, but there were great rewards to be had for more potent sacrifices.</p><p>“You did seem awfully lively for having recently been stabbed and dropped from a tree, I’d planned on asking,” Lily mentioned as she allowed Ardat to move her legs and look at her.</p><p>“Fell but never hit the ground,” she responded slyly, winking at Lily before resuming her examination. The magpie squawked above them and Ardat shushed her. "Also still sore, but the little stick the boy gave me is healing quickly. I have <em>recipies."</em></p><p>“Pardon?” she asked, confused.</p><p>"Healing remedies of all kinds."</p><p>"No, why didn't you hit the ground?"</p><p>“Flew away.” Ardat let out a low, warbling whistle and lifted a hand, flapping her fingers. The magpie squawked again.</p><p>“I heard a thump after you fell,” Lily insisted.</p><p>“Didn’t hit the ground, but maybe hit the tree,” she responded with humor, looking expectantly at the magpie who made a small noise in response, satisfied with the admission. Lily laughed with her for a moment, still a bit baffled. “Who do you think put out the lanterns, some bird from the forest?”</p><p>“I forgot about the owl,” she gasped in realization. “It was you?”</p><p>Ardat looked up at her, wriggling her brows and widening her eerie amber eyes, eyes like fay creatures and night birds. She patted Lily's thigh and put the sheet back over her, turning to the supplies she'd brought in. Lily recognized cloth from her own stores, her own potion bottles and other tools. “Tiny Ekletu is holding on tight. Things are better in there,” she said, pointing at Lily’s belly, picking up a corked bottle, “but the danger has not quite passed. More blood or pain?” Lily shook her head. “Give it a week. No blood, fingers and tongues alright. You spot and no more, but still no blood in another week after that, <em>maybe</em> he can stick you.”</p><p>“Alright,” Lily laughed, relieved to hear good news and grateful for Ardat's direct manner now that she was no longer startled by it. It did seem a prudent quality for a midwife. She accepted the vial given to her and drank, handing it back after she finished. Three more like it were placed on the table along with a drawstring pouch from the workroom.</p><p>“Drink one every day or so, but don’t worry too much over time.”</p><p>“I have an hourglass…”</p><p><em>“No,”</em> she said sternly before continuing, “You watch the glass, you worry. None of that. The time isn't so important, gallu babies-" she cut herself off, considering. <em>“Is</em> this baby gallu?” She asked finally, brows furrowed. “Mother was human,” she said, closing one eye and looking at her with her strangely moving pupil as she sought confirmation. </p><p>“I was. I'm like you now, in a way.”</p><p>“In all practical ways,” her lord added.</p><p>“But father is not imp or ogre or troll or any other unseelie creature… eh?” Ardat looked up to her lord, the puzzlement on her face as she tried to reason out his race or the closest thing to it.</p><p>He chuckled and Lily was rather taken aback by his easy manner. He was very seldom so even tempered with anyone but herself. “I am the <em>source,</em> the very <em>most</em> unseelie creature that ever bore the title.” </p><p>“A truth,” she nodded, glancing off thoughtfully.</p><p>“Perhaps treat the child as gallu but be ready for surprises,” he suggested. “It is the nearest estimation but I am without peer.”</p><p>“Well,” Ardat continued, “children born to immortals of any kind don't pay attention to the time. You stay regular with your herbs, they don't notice. No need."</p><p>“Is there any way to know how long the pregnancy will last?” Lily asked.</p><p>“Not really. They speed up, they slow down. Like I told you before, depends more on what they want and what you do.”</p><p>“Like talking to them?” She glanced up to her husband's face, his mild expression telling her more than he probably thought that it did.</p><p>“Yes, like talking to them. They hear your voice, your intent, respond to the emotion, the energy. Right intent, right energy helps them grow,” Ardat responded, holding a small bowl out. “Spit,” she instructed and Lily complied, leaning forward a little and spitting into the offered container.</p><p>“I feel like I have a million questions.”</p><p>“Ask them, I will do my best. You want to know boy or girl? Something else?” She twitched her brows again and looked at Lily eagerly, pupil contracting, not stopping her preparations as she dumped the contents of a pouch into the bowl. </p><p>“No,” she answered quickly, feeling the body she rested upon still when the question was posed. “But this,” she lifted the thread from below the sheet, “what does this do?”</p><p>“Keeps you close together,” Ardat answered matter of factly, as though no other reason were necessary. </p><p>“Is that all?” Lily's brow furrowed as she considered it, wondering if she was missing something.</p><p>“Why leave it to begin with?” Ardat challenged, finally pausing what she was doing to look at her.</p><p>Lily hesitated to answer. Even after all of the liberties she had allowed this woman, for some reason that information seemed intensely personal.</p><p>“It was a comfort to remain connected,” her lord said quietly behind her. </p><p>Ardat nodded, her eyes lifting to his face. “You should <em>not</em> be apart,” she told them, “especially now. The wound will heal faster if you stay close, the baby will be safer if you stay close. Not just a comfort to be close, but painful to be apart, eh? The thought of severing any tie at all, even string, it hurt you.”</p><p>There was silence a moment before he answered, “Yes.”</p><p>“<em>Should not be apart</em>,” she emphasized.</p><p>“You say so because of the vision your friend had? Because we’re embracing hearts?” Lily asked, turning her face to rub her cheek against his warmth.</p><p>“Yes, <em>epēqu libbu.</em> A rare thing, special. Two grow together and become one, it is destiny for you both. Your paths are side by side, very close. There is a circle that must be completed, balance that must be achieved. You need one another. Need to share your burdens, take and give. Separate and you might as well cut yourselves in half.”</p><p>Lily gaped at her, thinking of the leaves at the bottom of her cup of Albin's blood. It seemed too close to be coincidence, too directly linked to Ardat herself. “Twin paths, requiring acceptance and release, leading to a circle completed through a shift in roles?” she ventured, her confirmation coming with the excitement on the witch's face.</p><p>“You've seen it!” Ardat whooped and cackled, bouncing where she stood. “Where, where, <em>where?”</em> </p><p>“In the sediment of my first potion of the conception.” </p><p>“Good prophesy, the mistress herself reads it in her own spells. Excellent, <em>excellent </em>prophesy. That means <em>listen.”</em> She leaned in to touch Lily's knee, shaking it lightly.</p><p>“But it was about the baby. My sacrifice, my mother. There was a crooked archway that was <em>Jack.”</em></p><p>“Yes, but <em>also</em> about epēqu libbu. About you and he, like Millicent saw. You saw it in the potions you brew for tiny Ekletu, maybe tiny Ekletu is the start of something bigger. <em>Ah,”</em> she clicked her tongue and sucked her teeth as she thought, letting out a small giggle. “He release, you accept, eh? That’s how babies happen. Probably more than that, though."</p><p>“And the circle? The archway?”</p><p>Ardat shrugged, lifting the little bowl again, stirring it with her finger and scooping the contents into her hand. “Wait and see.” She picked up a white candle and started rubbing the mixture into the wax and Lily saw that there were carvings in it, carvings which now caught pasty soot in their grooves and darkened. “Bath time,” she announced suddenly.</p><p>“I'm still eating,” Lily objected, “but I do want a bath after. This dove blood is starting to irritate my skin.” At the reminder she retrieved her bowl again and this time a spoon with it, intent on finishing her meal.</p><p>“Oh <em>yes,</em> eat lots first. Then bath. You light this and put it by the water,” she set the candle on the table and picked up the cloth Lily had noticed earlier, unfolding it to display a complex pattern embroidered in, “then wrap your middle in this when you get out. Cozy for tiny Ekletu, says, ‘come, baby. We want you. Come meet us, come to joy, love, safety.’ Maybe a nursing blanket later. <em>Very absorbent.”</em></p><p>“Thank you, Ardat,” Lily said, accepting the fabric and then pointing to the drawstring pouch that was left on the table near the bottles. “What's that?”</p><p>“Almost forgot!” Ardat picked up the pouch and opened it, dumping a chunk of something honey colored into Lily's palm. “Candy. Made it for you.”</p><p>Lily giggled excitedly and popped it into her mouth, the rich, chewy texture and sharp sweetness offset by aromatic spices. <em>“That</em> is amazing,” she said once her tongue was less occupied. </p><p>“And that is what I needed to do. Unless you have requests? More questions?”</p><p>“I think that'll do for now. I'll have that bath in a bit.” Lily put the candy back on the table, returning to her bowl.</p><p>“Then I'll go back to your workroom. Been cleaning up. Almost done but maybe time to scrub the big splish splash on the wall now. Kind of pretty so I left it. Also been working spells, stocking your shelves with potions and remedies. You have the <em>very best</em> toys and he said I could play with them,” she said with glee. Lily was about to ask what <em>splish splash</em> she was referring to but her husband spoke before she did.</p><p>“Ardat,” he said softly, speaking her name for the first time. Ardat froze, her wide eyes immediately locked upon him. His tone hushed them all, brought the moment easily to a note of sacred solemnity as he waited a breath before continuing. “For what you have done and continue to do you will be rewarded with great favor. You have earned my gratitude.”</p><p>Ardat did not look away from him but trembled visibly, seeming almost as though she would burst into tears. She opened her mouth but only took a deep breath and Lily was struck with the insight that what came over her now had been just below the surface, suppressed by force of will perhaps at the request that she be bold in her role, her nerves pushed back in her determination to serve them as asked.</p><p>“To please the Dark Lord has <em>always</em> been my most sacred desire,” she whispered, her voice unsteady. Her eyes watered heavily and she blinked, dropping her gaze when it seemed his became too overwhelming. She opened her mouth to speak again but once more was left unable, only bowing her head as she tried to even her breath. Lily supposed that it must be a profound thing indeed just to sit in the presence of your god, let alone to gain their explicit approval and Ardat was undoubtedly a devout woman.</p><p>“And you have pleased me well. Leave us now.”</p><p>Without another word she dipped a clumsy curtsy and turned to leave the room with a briskness that spoke to her rattled emotional state. She paused briefly before disappearing around the doorframe, turning her head but keeping her eyes on the floor as she said, <em>“Dalī Ekletu,”</em> fervently before slipping away without waiting for her response. The magpie chittered and Lily laughed, shooing her off after the witch she seemed eager to follow.</p><p>“You <em>like</em> her,” Lily claimed, returning to her breakfast with a small smile. He only grunted in response and she dropped it though her smile grew. She ate heavily but finished quickly, eager both to use Ardat's spells and to wash the flaking blood from her skin. As he began to gather her to move them to the bath she snatched up the pouch full of sweets, pulling one from the bag and holding it near his lips, licking her own and drawing his attention. “Do you <em>want</em> it?” she asked breathily, unable to suppress her slight smirk as his eyes narrowed. </p><p>“Why do you tease me now when there can be no resolution?” He asked, though he gripped her wrist so that she could not retreat with her offering.</p><p>“Because I find it incredibly amusing to frustrate you,” she answered without remorse. He growled at her, sinking his free hand into her hair and tugging just hard enough to send a hot streak of desire through her, a move that he was well aware would leave her wanting.</p><p><em>“Careful,</em> wench,” he said lowly, skimming his lips along her cheek before meeting her eyes again. “If you wish to play games I will <em>play</em> them but I am the one between us who has withstood lifetimes of celibacy. If you insist upon it you will only be making our confinement to this bed more difficult for yourself, I will make <em>certain</em> of that,” he threatened sensuously, finally sucking the candy into his mouth with one of her fingers. He twirled his tongue around the tip in a familiar way which when applied to another spot caused her to twitch most violently and it made her moan and writhe in his grip. It felt like <em>forever</em> since his mouth had been on her.</p><p>“Yes please,” she whimpered, crawling to his lap without withdrawing her hand, making him laugh around her finger. His arms circled her and he rose from the bed, swinging her legs up while she laid her head on his shoulder, the candle dropping onto her lap from the air before she could remind him of it.</p><p>As he stepped into the bathing pool she settled the candle on the stone rim and he lit it with a brush of his claw. The hot water made her sigh and immediately she rubbed at the blood on her abdomen, relieved when the itch began to subside. His hands ran up her wet skin and gathered her hair, the ends dripping as he twisted and bunched it in one fist to better reach her neck which he pressed his lips to firmly, his other arm tightening around her middle. Lily held his forearm, leaning back against him as he held her still.</p><p>“I heard you talking to the baby as I woke,” she told him, leaning her cheek against his. He said nothing but sighed, eyes closing. “You don't <em>have</em> to tell me what the two of you were discussing,” she said good naturedly when it seemed that maybe he wouldn't, though he was only silent a moment more.</p><p>“Making promises,” he said softly, “that they will be protected, and that when they are desperate they will not be abandoned and left alone.”</p><p>The only sound then was the water as he began bathing her gently and the soft wetness of her lips against his skin as she kissed his face, his chin resting over her shoulder.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey there!</p><p>First off, I really want to sincerely thank everybody who has commented, especially those of you who do so regularly. You have no idea how it motivates me, especially now while I'm writing paragraph by paragraph during spare moments. It's like pulling teeth if I don't have solid blocks of time and every little bit helps so so much. I love and appreciate each and every one of you. &lt;3</p><p>On that note, I'm hoping that the length of time this chapter took isn't indicative of the new pace of things. I suppose we'll see.</p><p>Also sort of on that note, the Emo Darknesss side piece is coming along. It looks like it might end up on the lengthy side, I mean it's several chapters worth of timeline. Working title is Desiderium, I think it may stick. </p><p>A bit on Ardat's use of seelie/unseelie/gallu: So fun fact, 'seelie' means happy, gay, joyous- it's the origin of the word 'silly.' So the difference between 'seelie' and 'unseelie' is basically the happy and unhappy creatures. In this case I'm kind of making it an umbrella for light and dark leaning inherently magical races. Gallu would be the class of creatures native to the underworld.<br/>Da'mu'dārīu- Dark immortal. Specifically being used for immortals who were originally human.</p><p>Until next time. :)<br/>Xx</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Stories</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Sen left his mother and aunts as soon as he had healed them and rushed back to his wife's side but she had already met her death, first weeping herself blind before succumbing to her heartbreak at his absence.”</p><p>Lily let out a sad moan, turning her face to the side to feel his satiny fur on her cheek. She laid in the cradle of his legs again as he sat but with her head pillowed atop his crossed calves, her own legs bent around his hips and their most intimate flesh pressed together. Black fabric was snugly wrapped and tucked about her abdomen, the little blanket that Ardat had made. It had stayed with her in the few days since it was given, every suggestion the witch made diligently followed.</p><p>“In his grief he picked up her body and wandered the wilds until he too fell, dying while he held her with a vow to follow her spirit into the next life and find her again.” His hands slid up her thighs and kneaded at the creases of her hips, sending pleasurable little waves down her legs and through her pelvis. Her core fluttered against his own sex, soft but still heavy and scalding against her in the most pleasant of ways. She knew that he could feel the needy way her body reached for him and the slick which increasingly coated his flaccid length but he said nothing, showed no acknowledgment of her arousal except an occasional glance downwards to stare as he slid between her glistening lips and a satisfied gleam to his eyes when she squirmed, the slight tug of a smirk when her voice became breathy.</p><p>“Did he?” Lily resisted the movement of her hips fiercely but at the slightest rush of blood which she felt just under his skin, the most marginal stiffening of him against her she tilted them involuntarily and let out a stifled gasp at the friction.</p><p>“Almost certainly, if it was as I suspect,” he answered, now gripping her hips to keep her from writhing, holding her there a few seconds as she breathed deeply and relaxed. “An ogress dying of a broken heart seems unlikely unless there is a greater reason. If they were as we are such an event becomes more understandable and in that case, if they had become of one spirit, I know not how he could <em>prevent</em> himself from following her. Perhaps in the next life they even inhabited a single physical body, truly of one flesh as well and now more complete of spirit, closer to the Mother for the love contained within them.”</p><p>“That’s a romantic thought,” Lily sighed, enjoying his fingers as they began moving again, the pads turning to gently scraping claws running slowly towards her knees. “For not knowing much about it you seem to know quite a lot about it,” she commented with some amusement and a great deal of affection. He knew quite a lot about nearly every subject.</p><p>“I do know about death and life and the natural habits of spiritual energy,” he responded. “The rest is conjecture.” </p><p>“The hermit divined it somehow, that's why he changed the letter. It wasn't just spite towards Meri's mother, he knew that Meri and Sen needed to be together, read it somewhere like Ardat's friend did,” Lily theorized aloud, seeing easily why he had drawn the conclusion that this couple of old history had shared their very own condition, this state of growing together of which they were now aware.</p><p>“I should think,” he agreed.</p><p>“There do seem to be some advantages to separate bodies,” she mused as he twitched against her, the immediate answering clench of her empty womanhood against the base of his shaft causing a brief hitch in his breathing. He had an impressive amount of control over his own responses and every little crack in it thrilled her.</p><p>“The pleasures of joining may be worth the distance,” he posed, watching himself slide against her as she clenched again, looking mildly glazed for a moment.</p><p>“Only if the distance is never too great,” she amended, reaching for his forearms and gripping them tightly. He bent forward, folding himself in half and leaning over her. </p><p>“Only the distance of a breath that we might share, the span of a whisper in which to avow my love before our lips are sealed by it.” He kissed her slowly but with an intensity that left her shaking, reeling from the pent up passion behind it. </p><p>Three days with Jack, one brief physical reunion, nearly a week of sleep and the last few days of intentional denial had left them both on edge with sensual tension, her notably moreso. They'd been spending their time lazily though more than once his crystal had been called in and duties tended to from bed, mostly as she napped. Lily felt incredibly fortunate that she enjoyed his conversation so very much. He never seemed to run out of stories to tell her or topics to muse on as she listened with rapt fascination and his tendency to repeat himself occasionally when speaking on his own history gave her opportunity to focus on what his voice did to her body in its deprived state, almost unbearably responsive to his presence and still humming with his shadows.</p><p>It felt almost like their courtship, those first few months during which they danced towards togetherness and his words were aimed at charming her, convincing her of the rewards of his companionship from a distance and only hinting at carnal possibilities with innuendo and heated glances. Truly she felt that he'd never ceased the attempt, that he was ever courting her, the addition of his direct erotic attentions only serving to fortify his case but now with the full force of his persuasion thwarted it was more like the beginning as he aimed to entertain her instead, teasing with gentle caresses what pleasures waited only for her recovery.</p><p>When he finally pulled away her heart was racing and he turned to run his nose into her hair and scent her, commenting, “I do enjoy your <em>separate</em> body. I will do my utmost to keep it intact.” She giggled and he smiled with her a moment, though it dropped and his serious eyes quieted her. “That is a vow,” he informed her, looking down at her solemnly.  “When I say that I will not let you go, Lily, by it I mean many things. I will keep you with me and keep you whole at any cost. There is nothing, <em>nothing…”</em> he halted and chuffed, breathing harshly through his nose as he struggled to order his words through the upset his thoughts had stirred.</p><p>Lily kissed him. These little moments had been cropping up, moments in which he seemed to need her comfort every bit as much as she needed his. He could not seem to stop swearing oaths to her, all of them nearly the same, could not cease the movement of his fingers over her skin as they lay embracing and repeating soft declarations of desire and affection to one another or prevent his possessive grip upon her as he regaled her with lore while she ate.</p><p>“Forever,” she reminded him, the word enough to calm him as he sank back down and took her lips again. Lily felt his body react, the fact that he was still not quite firm as he pressed against her and held still proof enough that he fought his own lust. Her hands wandered, sneaking down from his arms to his taught stomach, further until she found his sex, stroking softly. He let her, pulling back only a spare inch to gaze at her face, breath slow, even and deep as he stiffened in her grasp. It took little time, the suppression of his arousal effectively foiled by the direct touch of her amorous fingers.</p><p>He was still slick with her own want and she used it, spread it, gathered more to help her palms glide along his skin so that she could squeeze and twist and pull at him until he was steel between her fingers and shaking above her. The feeling of him in her hands made her whimper as she thought of what he felt like buried within the piece of her body which ached so desperately for him now, hot and hard and hungry for her, as hungry as she was.</p><p>His eyes grew hazy but did not leave her as she continued to touch him, rounding his thick head with a gentle caress of her thumb and finally pulling a groan from his chest. When she passed upwards again and found wetness that had not come from her she gathered the drop on her finger and released him, raising it between them as his glazed eyes watched closely.</p><p><em>“That's</em> what I wanted,” she sighed dreamily, extending her tongue and flicking away the milky fluid on her fingertip, letting out a pleased moan as though savoring some craved treat. “Thank you <em>very</em> much.”</p><p>He growled at her and she hummed a little, smiling, and kissed his nose. Lily drew her arms up over her head and settled limply again, a thing that could not be said for him. His hands tightened on her hips as he straightened though one reached up to pinch a sensitive nipple sharply in retaliation causing her center to throb and she gasped, laughing lightly after.</p><p>“How long do you think that one will take to go down?” She asked him mildly, reaching down to bat playfully once at his straining erection. Lily saw him tense and he blinked at her slowly, his dismissive shrug amusing her greatly. It had required increasingly little effort to work him up and increasingly more time for him to calm his body, a thing which she was greatly enjoying. The last go it had taken the better part of an hour.</p><p>The downside, or upside, really, was that touching him left her needier than ever and watching him just <em>sit</em> in his present condition did torturous things to her insides. She had been sorely tempted to keep going, relishing the slide of his heat and his labored breaths until he spilt against her, taking what satisfaction she might from the hot spray of his release across her breasts and belly. Lily thought about it a moment, allowing herself to sit with the image as she stared at him, imagining the way he would look at her as she lay with his essence dripping across her skin.</p><p>She bit the inside of her cheek, eyes wandering his brawny frame. As appealing as the idea was, that was <em>not</em> the game that they were playing and she was having far too much fun trying his patience. It was surely difficult to withstand such treatment herself but she accepted it gladly for though it was torturous the torture was sweet and the thought of not touching him in this way at all seemed truly abhorrent.</p><p>Lily tensed as her wound throbbed but relaxed quickly, used to this soreness by now. It was taking an awfully long time to knit. Any other cut would have long healed and faded, leaving no mark. Under its bandage this one still looked red and irritated and as yet the pain had dulled but lingered, something odd and uneasy in the rolling waves of discomfort that swelled every so often. His hand was covering her side as soon as he felt her movement, holding her steady as she reassured him with a smile that she was alright. He said nothing about it but his concerned, speculative look lingered and when Lily glanced back down she saw that her earlier question was answered. </p><p>“The midwife is approaching our door,” he mentioned and she repositioned herself a bit and threw the sheet over their aligned hips. Though she had quickly abandoned any reflexive need to cover their nakedness in front of Ardat with her matronly, no-nonsense manner and though they were not actually breaking any restrictions, their more libidinous activities still felt rather illicit and Lily jumped to hide the evidence. It made her feel young.</p><p>Her eye was caught by the line of color across the back of her right hand as she moved the dark silk. The burns from Jack's lanterns no longer pained her, her fingers covered in pink scars which grew lighter by the day. The rest of her skin which had been exposed and grown pink in the sunlight was now a warm, creamy peach. This also made her feel young.</p><p>To say that she had not changed in her time below was untrue, she realized upon the sight of a mirror which seemed to frame her face as it was before her twentieth year. Her skin had grown pale and her hair dark without the sun. She did not care for the sable streaks in her black locks or the subtle browning of her fair complexion. It reminded her of herself before she had understood who she was or what she wanted, before her life had properly begun. It reminded her of who she might've been instead, who she might've laid next to, especially after recent events. Lily squeezed her lord in her grasp, both with her legs around his hips and with her hands upon his, overcome for a moment with gratitude.</p><p>A quick rap came from the door and he opened it with a wave, allowing Ardat to step in. She did so, pausing to dip and make her respectful gestures before speaking.</p><p>“Apologies for the intrusion, Majesties, although what-" she squinted suspiciously at them and looked pointedly at the sheet.</p><p>“We <em>weren’t,”</em> Lily was quick to say. The witch had been very consistent with her reminders.</p><p>“Hmph.” Ardat still looked watchful but moved on. “I come only to make a small request,” she told them, glancing up just briefly at the Dark Lord. “My familiar is in the tree but I don't know where the entrance to these halls is. The door I came through is not there anymore.” </p><p>“I removed it,” he said mildly, waving again. Something large and fleshy dropped to the floor from the ether, covered in spots and wildly mussed bristles, squealing with alarm.</p><p><em>“Baby!”</em> Ardat shouted, raising her arms and kneeling to greet the excitedly grunting pig. It was nearly as big as she was and she embraced it bodily, slapping its round belly and kissing its smiling snout. “Took you long enough,” she scolded gently, scratching its cheeks. “This is Baltān, the only man I keep around. Less of a pig than the others,” she introduced affectionately.</p><p>“Hello, Baltān,” Lily laughed, moving just enough to lean over her husband's leg and the edge of the bed in order to pat his snout which came to nuzzle her hand immediately. </p><p>“Not very useful, but he's a good one for cuddles,” the witch told her conspiratorially, tugging at the pig's bent tail.</p><p>“Of that I have no doubt.” Baltān spun himself in a happy circle and flopped onto his side, stretching out his legs in order to present his belly for more rubs. After one good round Ardat stood, making a little noise to prompt him to follow her.</p><p>“Thank you, Lord,” she said reverently, performing her gestures again before excusing herself with Baltān at her heels. The pig's hooves clicked merrily on the stonework and echoed as they left, soft laughter and a gentle snort following. </p><p>“A pig,” Lily stated, snorting herself as she muffled her giggles. “Ardat's familiar is a pig and now we live with it.”</p><p>“Indeed,” her lord responded, helping her to settle back into her spot on his legs.</p><p>“You don't seem bothered,” she observed. It was not so much the pig that she would have thought to bother him, but the additional occupant of their private space. Guests were generally met with cold tolerance at the very best and none had ever stayed. A midwife was a necessity but Lily wondered if he would begin to feel encroached upon.</p><p>“Perhaps I am growing used to the idea of movement in these rooms,” he offered quietly, his hands settling at her waist and his thumbs brushing the blanket which covered it still. He sighed and rubbed up and down her sides, considering his words before he spoke them. “Before you I sought peace in isolation,” he said lowly, watching his fingers smooth against the material. “I could not find it. When we <em>move</em> together it is like sitting in the eye of a storm as my own existence rages around me. Stillness I have always craved and never known, and <em>this…”</em> his hand swiped over her abdomen then, settling atop the gentle swell of the product of their love which grew steadily inside of her, “this has given me my own stillness. Peace of my very own to take with me, a place inside of myself that does not seem possible. Yet it will be movement in our home. Movement that brings stillness.” He sighed again, unwrapping the blanket to expose her belly so that he could touch her skin, skimming the bandage and the string peeking from under it before settling. “We will need the midwife again. Let her have her familiar and take her liberties if it guards this sweet peace that has been building since I first sensed you in the forest.” He leaned down to kiss her and Lily's eyes fluttered as her stomach growled loudly. </p><p>“Your child is hungry again,” she announced against his lips. </p><p>“Hmm,” he hummed, reaching over the table which had remained at the bedside, replenishing itself as the table in their dining hall did. His hand hovered over various items as he watched her face and Lily scrunched her nose and waggled her brows, giving him no help in his selection. Finally he plucked a pear from a bowl and brought it slowly to her lips as she made a satisfied noise and opened her mouth but he pulled it away just before she could bite it. “What, no kiss for my services?” He asked, holding the pear aloft with his brows raised.</p><p>Lily <em>tsked.</em> “Seems a perilous thing just at the moment.”</p><p>“Is it, now?” He leaned down again, offering his lips anyway.</p><p>“Mm,” she confirmed, speaking against his mouth, “there are <em>rules.</em> Kissing leads to <em>sticking</em> and there can't be any of that. Besides, you don't want to starve the baby, do you?”</p><p>“Only a short delay. One kiss is no hardship, ungrateful woman,” he growled, nipping playfully at her neck.</p><p>“So he says, but the very first time you kissed me I disappeared and was never seen again. Who knows what might happen now? We're growing together. We might get stuck.”</p><p>“All the better,” he shot back, biting gently at her lower lip.</p><p>“Well then we'd <em>all</em> starve, surely,” she said, unsurprised when he stilled her tongue by twining his around it. Lily laughed a bit against his mouth before sinking into the kiss, forgetting her humor as she felt a stirring from his manhood, still pressed against her. Her fingers pulled the sheet from between them, returning to grip him and she felt his shudder as he swelled. She pumped at him slowly and very soon he was back on the precipice that she had been edging him towards for days, heated and aching for her before she pulled her hand away, the soft touches sending shivers and need throughout her own body.</p><p>When he raised himself to look at her she licked her lips and opened them invitingly, her look suggestive as she presented her tongue. He groaned in frustration and stuck the pear into her mouth.</p><p>“Incorrigible vixen,” he muttered, longing in his voice.</p><p>Lily sighed happily as she bit the fruit, relaxing against him. “Tell us another story?” she asked, mouth full.</p><p>He paused at her inclusion of the child in his audience, something in his eyes that made her heart flutter. “I will tell you as many stories as you like,” he promised, touching her belly again. </p><p>He did, accompanied by the occasional sound of a pig's snort echoing from down the hall.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So while watching Legend I've always gotten caught on some of the statues hanging out, especially the ones by the fireplaces. Those things look like temple guardians from southeast asia, specificaly lions. I really enjoy the mix and migration of ancient cultures and also think that it makes tons of sense that D's relationship is to the entire world and so his stories and artifacts would be diverse. The story he's telling Lily is from that region and is a rather small piece of a longer story known as the Twelve Sisters. The relevant bit is that an ogress sends this young man to her daughter with a letter instructing her to kill him when he gets there. On the way he meets a hermit who magically changes the letter to say "marry" instead of "kill," and so of course she marries him and they actually end up falling madly in love and having a Romeo and Juliet moment except that they both just literally die of heartbreak without the other. Not all versions of the story go that way, this one does.</p><p>Baltān- Handsome.</p><p>Lastly, this story has gotten SO MUCH longer than I ever expected. I thought *maybe* twice the length of LR, honestly. That's how much longer the outline was, and I haven't deviated from it almost at all- not to mention the series as a whole. I also feel like the next one will be very long. It's definitely the longest contiguous storyline I've ever written. I am shocked and amazed at myself and the lot of you who read and comment have pushed me to keep it up. Thanks again to all of you!</p><p>Xx</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Beneath the Skin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Her limbs and chest were heavy, weighted down and growing more difficult to move with each passing minute. Cold metal slowly warmed against her skin, glinting in the firelight and dazzling her as she lay, drunk on tribute and watching the diamond sparkle of unearthly treasures as they fell against her, surreal in their beauty. Lily sighed.</p><p>“Will you <em>ever</em> show me your vaults?” </p><p>He did not stop what he was doing, pinning her to the bed with the weight of gold and silver and gemstones, richly colored or bright and clear. She had been mostly still between his circled legs, resting neck and knees over his spread thighs while he arranged it all as the fancy took him, conjuring ropes of jewels for her neck and rings for her fingers, bangles and chains and bands to stack from her wrists to shoulders and from her ankles to hips. He had also devised a truly remarkable headpiece, undoubtedly his most spectacular to date. It anchored into her hair securely and gave her two long horns, shaped and proportioned as his but to her own scale and done in thin, hollow filigree crusted with tiny black diamonds which sparkled where his shone. It dripped delicate strands of yet more gems and snaked under her still loose curls to come to a point in the middle of her forehead, the pattern in the filigree carrying over her temples and into her hairline.</p><p>It was exquisite and she could not lift her head.</p><p>“My dear, would you not instead like to be delighted by a new piece every so often for the next thousand years until you have run out of places to put them, then experience the majesty of a cavern wherein you know that every jewel has been worn by you? That it is all <em>yours</em> and you have touched and will remember every one?” It sounded to Lily like he may have spent some time thinking on this subject. Indeed, it sounded more like a plan than supposition, especially when she observed his cajoling look, his eyes on her as his hands slipped a heavy ring onto her dainty toe, her fingers rather crowded. Lily thought about it. The situation he described was not unappealing.</p><p>“Hm.”</p><p>“<em>Hmm</em>,” he repeated with emphasis, still holding her foot, his thumb sliding down the arch. It felt nice. “Besides, if I do so how shall I continue to gift you the contents? One day <em>you</em> will need the vaults to house those very same jewels but I cannot empty them into your hands to make space all at once. If you see all of my gifts now, however will I surprise and tempt you for as far into the length of eternity as possible? Eternity is a very long time, my love.”</p><p>“And how much of what is in my apparently <em>tiny</em> collection,” she rolled her eyes towards her dressing table, massive and having already been made larger to house her things yet still overflowing with the most extravagant of all possible tokens of affection, “came straight from the vaults with no,” she shook her hand vaguely in a way he often did when conjuring something rather than summoning, rings clinking, “from you?”</p><p>His pause told her a great deal. “Some.” She stared at him with a raised brow. “You know that I will not actually refuse you.” He really didn’t want to.</p><p>“I can wait,” she decided, enjoying the satisfaction in his gaze. Lily’s hand rested on the long bone of his outwardly folded ankle and she trailed her fingers through his silky fur affectionately, admiring the inhuman angle at which it bent and feeling privileged to touch flesh of such singular composition, alluring and strange, unlike any other man she could ever have known. “Besides, I doubt it will take another thousands years. I'm going to need more furniture soon. Probably should have had a while ago.”</p><p>“Though it is lovely to see them all cluttered about in a pile. I enjoy how it grows,” he said, laying a glittering braided rope in a circle around her belly. It rested above her hip bones and under her ribs, outlining the subtle curve there in brilliant silver.</p><p>She giggled. “I do, too.”</p><p>He made the familiar gesture that she had imitated earlier, easier now because he had removed the bandage from his finger, to her relief revealing no scar. The item which appeared was small and round such that at first she thought it was another bangle and wondered just where he planned to put it but the diameter was a touch too wide. She watched curiously as he held it a moment as though in hesitation before setting it carefully upon her abdomen in the middle of the circle he'd created with the chain.</p><p>Lily let out a small, happy moan as she looked at the little circlet on her belly, a copy in miniature of his favorite of her own crowns which dripped rubies down her brow.</p><p>“I want to sit up,” she informed him, wriggling a little. He began pulling piece after ornate, priceless piece from her arms first, slipping off most of the rings and leaving a few bracelets. The headpiece still kept her immobile but he removed it with a touch of magic, tangled and twined in her hair as it was. Lily picked up the little circlet once her arms were light enough and brought it to her face, touching the small gems and tracing the thin curve of the band.</p><p>“I will spell this to hold its own weight,” he said of the horns, dropping them to the bed atop the haphazard pile of other pieces and pulling heavy necklaces from her.</p><p>“Excellent,” Lily enthused as he helped her up, amused at her own inability to support them and delighted to picture herself sitting with him as she wore it. She could not imagine his displaying a clearer signal of his regard than to place his own crown upon her head, regal and unique in its size and shape to any other creature below. The heaviness of her bejeweled crest, hollow and thinly crafted, led to her thinking on the incredible weight of his, the ease with which he held it, the strength of his body, so full of dense muscle and so very <em>firm.</em> She caught the jump of a pectoral which distracted her wandering eyes and stopped to stare for a moment.</p><p>Lily blinked and made a small, frustrated noise before looking up to his face to find him outright grinning at her, one corner of his lips curled distinctly higher. He was <em>also</em> quite drunk.</p><p>“You know <em>just</em> what you’re doing,” she accused, poking the muscle which had committed the offense in reprimand, deciding that it needed another poke, the pleasant resistance to her finger then seeming to require yet another, firmer prod, with more fingers this time. But his skin was so <em>smooth</em> and her body was already tingling and floating with the pleasure of her tribute and his shadows still within her, and his nipple which was somehow under her palm now was a tempting nub that called her lips and as it happened she was already leaning forward just slightly and her mouth was watering only a <em>little…</em></p><p>His chuckle broke her out of her daze though the rich vibration caused her eyelids to flutter first. “Stop that,” she demanded. He laughed loudly, a sudden burst of mirth which forced her to join him.</p><p>“Alas, I cannot,” he said with smug humor, “the sheer carnal seductiveness of my physique is unfortunately a stable fact of the universe. Always it has been and always it shall be, until the end of worlds.”</p><p>“Well, no use in resisting the inevitable, then,” she sighed, finding her mouth against his skin as a different vibration made her shudder when he moaned. </p><p>“A futile effort,” he agreed, eyes hooding as he watched her rub her lips against him, watched her tongue dart out for a brief taste of his skin.</p><p>When Lily raised her head again she remembered the tiny crown in her hand and held it up, distracted now by sentiment though lust still buzzed through her. “This is the first thing you've made just for them,” she said with a fond smile. He hummed at her and ran his fingers through her hair, gripping it lightly before pulling them through. “We'll need baby things,” she added excitedly.</p><p>“Baby things,” he repeated thoughtfully.</p><p>“A crib, blankets, toys, oh, little <em>clothes,”</em> Lily bounced and grabbed his huge, fearsome hands as she considered it, thinking of them dressing tiny limbs with all of the gentleness that he showed to her during their most tender moments. </p><p><em>“Baby things,”</em> he said again. She looked up at him and recognized the expression that took over his face. His eyes were a bit far away and his lip tilted in a manner that would have seemed like a sneer if not for the subtle upturn and his slightly slack jaw. She saw this look occasionally, like when she had mentioned wanting some flower pots in which to grow herbs. Hours later he'd led her through an opening down their central hall that had not existed before and into her new garden which sprawled an expanse of land she had not known was there. It was entirely possible that it had not been.</p><p>“We should go there,” Lily told him.</p><p>“Where?” The look vanished as she caught his attention again.</p><p>“The <em>garden,”</em> she responded as though he had simply not been listening.</p><p>“My lady is under orders to stay abed,” he countered. “Perhaps I should replace this crown to keep you in compliance,” he said, lifting the diamond horns again. Lily leaned forward and nipped hard at his bicep for the suggestion and his body tensed, his breath escaping him in a forceful chuff. </p><p>“I won't be standing or walking, you can carry me the whole way and then lay me in the grass and pin me down so I don't go wandering,” she giggled, leaning in to run her tongue over his bitten skin.</p><p>He let out a short groan, both at her words and at her wet mouth on him. “We have not done <em>that</em> in some time.”</p><p>“Well let's go have a picnic, and then we'll make a date of it once it’s safe for you to give me a few grass stains again, hm? I'm tired of looking at this ceiling, stunning as it is.” Finally she kissed him in the same place, now receiving a long sigh. Multitudes of large figures were sculpted right into the stonework high above, humans and other races of all sorts, most of them engaged in lewd acts. They had been too far away and the room had been too dim for her to see in her first few years here, but as she had grown and changed and become more accustomed to this world void of true light she’d begun to notice them. Stunning it was and she had long abandoned any shame in enjoying it but she badly needed a change of scenery. </p><p>The majority of the jewelry was removed and left on the bed as he gathered her and stood smoothly, though once he was upright he swayed a little. Lily also felt that he was moving a bit slowly as he navigated the hall and she had to tap his shoulder with a laugh muffled into his neck when he nearly walked past their destination. Still he held her securely and not once was she jostled, even as he turned the arch and carried her down a winding path towards a dark, full willow that they had laid under before.</p><p>It was imposing and lovely, ethereal as the rest of the landscape always seemed, the drape of its canopy tall enough for him to sit beneath comfortably without catching on his horns yet long enough to enclose them entirely. It made for quite a cozy little nest in her opinion, perfect for a roll in the soft dark moss at the base and a nap in the fresh air afterwards.</p><p>She held to his neck as he parted the hanging leaves and sank down, laying her softly upon the warm ground. He never laid a blanket and Lily thought that it likely did not even occur to him to do so, as comfortable touching bare skin to earth as any beast. She didn't mind in the least, the moss was a delightful cushion and the feeling of the dirt and growing things beneath her made her feel base and free, a creature more close to her animal nature than she might've been upon a carpet of richly woven silk, a creature more like him.</p><p>He laid beside her though propped upon an elbow and Lily was surprised as he unexpectedly held something to her lips and then pushed it through when her jaw loosened reflexively for him. It turned out to be a blackberry and she was surprised again as he shoved another into her mouth before she had swallowed it, though this one hit the corner of her lips before making it past them. </p><p>“Beloved, hold on a moment,” she laughed, raising a hand to stall a third berry which she saw him pluck individually from the air.</p><p>“You said that you wanted a picnic,” he reminded her and she laughed again and spoke around her full mouth. The blackberries that grew here were huge and she often ate them in two bites.</p><p>“I did,” she admitted, unable to say more as he grunted in agreement and fed her the third berry as soon as she opened her mouth again. Lily giggled helplessly, nearly spitting the fruit as he leaned down towards her abdomen.</p><p>“Your mother is forgetful, <em>hibitū,”</em> he whispered conspiratorially, and Lily's heart stuttered. He had called her that word before too, only during rare occasions on which he was exhausted or intoxicated enough to start slipping into other languages during conversation. She did not know the direct translation but knew it to be a term of endearment and knew that it warmed her to hear, especially now as he openly spoke to their child.</p><p>“Give me time to chew,” she requested finally, and he held another berry just beyond her lips and waited this time for her to take it. </p><p>“Demanding woman,” he sighed as she bit his offered blackberry in half and left him waiting with the rest between his fingers. Lily made a happy, breathy noise and scratched her nails up his stomach carelessly, pleased when he spasmed below her fingers. He was so on edge, the effect of this prolonged cessation of their physical union perhaps more impactful on him that he'd anticipated. She was enjoying his responsiveness immensely, teasing him constantly with fleeting touches as he did to her though they'd needed to pace themselves, at this point ready to burst at the slightest well-placed caress.</p><p>As she accepted the other half of the berry she felt an increase in the unpleasant heat which lingered faintly under her scar. It quickly rose to a sharp, burning pain that would have been quite overwhelming were the area any larger, some element to the discomfort that she still could not place, unlike anything she had ever felt before this injury, something that made her want to scream and cry and hide between her husband's arms. She raised a hand to it and immediately his followed to enclose it, his eyes sharp and observant as she winced. </p><p>“This <em>cannot</em> be coincidence,” he declared, sitting up and rolling her carefully to her side.</p><p>“What can't?” She asked, breathing deeply as he moved her hand and began lifting her bandage, the only scrap of cloth she wore. He unwound it and bent to inspect her wound closely, running the pad of his finger over it. The scar itself was slightly numb to his touch but beneath it the burn increased steadily as she shifted to find a position that eased it, unable to. </p><p>“Dawn has just risen above and it is a particularly bright, cloudless day,” he informed her. “It has been steadily overcast this last week.”</p><p><em>“Oh,”</em> she said sadly, knowing that those days especially caused him unease.</p><p>“This wound is healed.” His palm covered it again before he swiped gently over the nearly flat stitches.</p><p>“But it looks <em>worse</em> than it did before,” Lily sighed as she too looked down, the scar as long as her thumb’s tip to its first knuckle and worryingly red, grown redder and redder each day.</p><p>He placed his hand against her waist just below it, holding up the color of his crimson fingers for comparison and then pointing at the spot for good measure. It was precisely the same hue. Lily stared, understanding the similarity but not quite clear headed enough to get past the sight and comprehend the implications.</p><p>“That is <em>my</em> skin on your body,” he explained helpfully and she nodded, still staring. He moved again and looked closely at his own wrist before offering it to her. Lily gripped his arm to steady herself as she leaned in, seeing the tiniest diffused ring of pink around the thread still embedded there. He lifted his other hand and swiped a claw over the spot and she shuddered, the oddest sensation rushing over her, a ghostly tickle like an echo of the sharp scrapes he often teased her with. “And this is <em>your</em> skin on mine.”</p><p>“Oh, that is <em>very</em> strange,” she huffed out, stunned. She touched her own scar and saw him shift as her fingers caressed the spot and touched it again, intrigued. He blinked heavily at her and she asked, “Is this usual for you?”</p><p>“I have never performed such a ritual to preserve another's life, but it does not seem likely,” he said quietly, raising his wrist to his lips, kissing the tiny spot on his own body softly.</p><p>Lily trembled, feeling his gentle touch under her ribs, the realization of this new intimacy leaving her breathless. The kiss was soothing as no other remedy had been and the relief sank her back to the moss and made her feel drunk all over again.</p><p>“Shall we remove the thread?” He asked.</p><p>“I suppose so. We can still stay close, we're rather good at it usually,” she said dreamily. He hummed in agreement and pulled the string from his wrist gingerly and Lily shuddered again. When he bent to her own stitches and cut them delicately with a claw she felt little but pressure. Neither did he flinch, but she would not have expected him to.</p><p>The punctures were not inflamed or painful when touched, though the burn beneath hers lingered. Her skin still discolored in a short, solid line, completely knit together while his wrist discolored in two places, the entrance and exit of the thread. These were the only scars to grace the entire pristine expanse of his ruby skin.</p><p>Lily whimpered, disturbed by the way the burn under her scar kept intensifying, she assumed as a result of the sun rising higher above. This pain had spiked and swelled before, but not like <em>this.</em> “Is this what your entire <em>body</em> feels like?” She asked him and he gathered her onto his lap and into his arms, his touch soothing the aches that radiated from it. He said nothing but held her tightly, distracting her with his own pleasant heat as the scald of the dawn grew ever sharper.</p><p>She clung to his neck while he stroked her back with one hand’s fingers, holding his wrist with the other. It was enough to dull the pain but she felt it still and the tears she cried had little to do with the sensation. It was such a <em>small</em> piece of skin.</p><p>“It never stops?” She asked.</p><p>He remained quiet, the minute shake of his head which came several seconds later making her heartsore as she squeezed him with the greatest strength available to her in that moment. She wrapped herself around him and touched every piece of him that she could, understanding with more clarity his constant need to touch her, understanding what he meant when he said that she eased his pain in a more visceral manner.</p><p>“Kiss me,” she begged, feeling needy for him in all kinds of ways as their lips met. The distraction of their closeness was too sweet to let go of while they both sat shocked and hazy, particularly sensitive to each other in their deprivation and Lily lost herself to his lips and the tender stroking of his fingers at her spine, the solidity of his thighs and chest below her.</p><p>The sun rose high and her mouth grew desperate against his as she sensed it, her hands roaming his skin, not wanting to leave any piece of him untouched. They kissed beneath the willow until the pain reached an apex and then began to slowly calm again, until she was exhausted and hungry for more than just him. Lily let him feed her again and stayed on his lap, stroking him softly until they both fell asleep, she curled against him and he curled against the downy black moss.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Lily: Can't resist the D (psnerk) because it's just physics.</p><p>If you're one of those who wanted to see their separation from Darkness's POV, the first part of Desiderium has been posted, just FYI if you haven't seen it yet. I'm working away at part two now. :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Movement</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Tell me happy news, Ardat,” Lily implored. She felt well and wasn't exactly <em>expecting</em> anything else but was anxious to hear it from the midwife after so many struggles. She reclined in her husband’s lap while she was examined as she had done each time, as she had been doing constantly anyhow. The little blanket was wrapped around her middle again and she sucked on a chunk of spiced sugar, the new batch of candy that Ardat had brought in with her stronger than the last and leaving a lingering heat in her mouth. Things that tasted good were good for the baby, apparently, and Lily could not complain about that.</p><p>“All looks settled, Mistress, but continue to treat yourself delicately. Walk a bit. Keep resting. Don't lift anything heavier than your glass,” the witch responded, tapping a chalice that sat nearby full of wine and the blueberry juice that she was always thirsty for. Lily had started mixing them recently on a whim and it had satisfied her craving rather perfectly in a manner that neither did alone. Now she felt half drunk most of the time because she could not stop consuming it in great quantities but she could swear it was not her fuzzy head that made her belly seem to grow more quickly as soon as she'd begun doing it, the curve now most pronounced at her navel when before there had only been a certain fullness just below it. Still she was slender enough that someone who didn’t know her body might not guess, the shape not obviously marking her condition, yet at this subtle change Lily had started to feel like she <em>looked</em> pregnant. She’d entertained the wistful thought earlier that had her father seen her he might’ve spotted it.</p><p>Beside the bed there was a gentle, inquisitive snort which Ardat hushed. Baltān rolled over and went back to sleep, one pointed hoof tapping the floor as he wriggled and found a new position. </p><p>Lily sighed, filled with relief at the simple instructions. “And, ah, fingers and tongues?” She asked hopefully, at ease with the other woman by now and too eager to hear the answer to be embarrassed by it anyway, too worried not to seek confirmation. As was his usual habit her lord stayed mostly quiet but observant, his eyes nearly always on his lady and his ears tilted towards Ardat. </p><p>“Yes but any pain, any blood, stop. And be careful with <em>those,”</em> she answered, nodding towards the huge hand on her thigh and its long, thick fingers tipped in lethally pointed jet. “Maybe outside only.”</p><p>“But it is acceptable to penetrate her with my tongue?” He asked bluntly, finally raising his eyes.  </p><p>“It is, Lord,” she confirmed, voice only shaking slightly when he made eye contact. “Tongue is not long enough to-” but she was stopped short when he simply extended the muscle in question. “Oh. Eh, stay shallow?” He gave a long suffering sigh as he retracted it, but Lily heard the self-satisfied tone underneath it. It fed his vanity tremendously to be compared bodily to men. “Just go slow. Gentle. All seems well in a few days, no blood, no pain, fine, I think. <em>Gentle</em> stick. See this?”</p><p>She placed her hands over Lily's belly, emphasizing the new shape to its curve. “Rounder. Less danger now. First part of a pregnancy is always the most fragile, first pregnancy more so. Many women lose their first.” That statement gave Lily a jolt of anxiety but Ardat was quick to reassure her, patting the roundness softly. “Once you can see them grow like this their grip is strong. Now we just want to be sure.”</p><p>Lily nodded and relaxed, glad and even more eager but with another matter on which to inform the woman who was tending to her health. “Ardat, we've removed the thread. My wound is healed.” The witch made a pleased noise and moved to unwrap the blanket as Lily shifted to help. She paused when she saw it, perhaps having expected a lighter color at her queen's claim, but she did not contradict her. Instead she stared hard at it and Lily could tell that she observed with her Sighted eye before they both lit up. </p><p>“Have you seen anything like it before?” </p><p>“No, but I have not met epēqu libbu before, much less a pair who have performed this rite.” Ardat responded, leaning towards her. “Uncommon. Most trees growing side by side don't grow together. <em>Special circumstances.”</em></p><p>“Such as?”</p><p>Ardat shrugged. “It being necessary or deserved. Who can be certain what the supreme divine accounts for?” Lily smiled at that, satisfied though she did not truly receive an answer. The scar was sore now but it was night and the burn less acute though the strange feeling that sat below it grew steadily more difficult to ignore, soothed by no remedy so much as simply letting her lover hold her.</p><p>As soon as the witch and her pig were on the other side of the door it was slammed and Lily was moved and pinned, the tongue which had been so conspicuously on display earlier finding hers swiftly. It took a short minute before he was stiff against her hip and she let out a needy whimper at the feeling, suddenly <em>very</em> aware of her own heartbeat as it thrummed heavily through her core. </p><p>She could not think of much but how wonderful he felt, hot and tense, hard and straining with pent up lust, as taught with frustration as she was. Already she could feel the slick of his desire on her skin as he rubbed himself against her and her hips bucked mindlessly in response, one leg rising to curl over his bent knee.</p><p>He shifted over her and then there was full contact between them, skin upon heated, aching skin as their hips ground together and her moan met a low hiss from between his sharp teeth. Lily could feel herself dripping for him as he slid through her folds, pressing down on her and making her gasp and writhe as he coated himself in her wetness and kissed her as though he wished to devour her, tongue and teeth demanding. </p><p>His fingers slid over her skin as he reached under her legs, pulling them up and bending her knees over his elbow and placing his hand against the bed to hold himself above her, spine bowed to keep possession of her lips. He prodded at her exposed center and slipped easily between her closed thighs, saturated as they both were with her want and squeezed himself at the base with his other hand, pulling back to bump his head firmly against her engorged pearl and send little shivers through her. He teased at her entrance but did no more, only holding himself there and allowing them both to savor the contact as her flesh clenched and sucked at him and his hardened further while they kept as still as they could, resisting the ease with which he could slip inside. It was a long moment before he shifted again, sliding back upwards to let the most pinpoint tender pieces of their bodies touch and press and rub together.</p><p>Lily moaned loudly under his lips while he continued to rock his pelvis and rub his head rhythmically against her, still gripping himself behind her bent legs, adding pressure to the blissful friction and enclosing some of his length. Just touching him like this was <em>wonderful</em> with his sex against hers even though he could not be inside of her and in very little time she felt the twitching of her muscles begin, the fluttering tightness that reached for him as she cried out, mouth open against his while lightning sparked through her pleasure starved body.</p><p>She was still spasming against him when his movements grew irregular and his breath changed and she felt the wet heat of his own overdue completion, first flooding the sensitive hood and lips of her womanhood with his scorching hot seed and then pushing up through her tightly closed thighs and spilling the rest on her torso. Finally he pulled from her mouth to watch as long spurts landed against her skin while he groaned above her and she was not terribly surprised when a few stray drops caught her chin. </p><p>They stared at each other, both panting and sensitive, still full of want. Peaking together once seemed only to leave them both hungrier than before and the look they shared was deep with need and love, an acknowledgement of the longing between them which could not be fulfilled in that moment. </p><p>He released her legs and hovered over her, his body a warm arc that fitted cozily over hers as his horns rested on the bed above, snagging the sheet without care. One of his hands came to her face and held it as his eyes roamed her body again, parting her legs with his other to sit around his hips, the base of his still hardened length resting at her core which wept and quivered against him. His thumb grazed her jaw and then drifted down her neck and chest, running through the trail he'd left, circling her tightened nipple with his slowly cooling essence, spreading it across her skin and leaving her slick and shining in the glow of the fireplace.</p><p>Carefully his palm ran over her taught belly and cupped its downward slope, the pad of his index finger resting in her slightly elevated navel. Lily sighed and let him take his time enjoying the sight of her as he spread himself across her skin and stretched his fingers over her possessively, the heel of his hand inching towards and over her mound. He paused just as he felt her firm bud at the base of his palm and rubbed at it slowly while she gasped and clutched at his forearms. One hand slipped to his own turgid shaft though she could do little more than hold it tightly as he quickly increased the pressure and then the speed of his movements and her legs jumped and squeezed around his waist. She flew apart easily for him, her body accustomed to the way that his commanded her bliss and impatient to follow the tender but forceful instructions of his flesh. </p><p>As she sobbed and tensed her core pulsed against the skin of his base and though he was pressed tightly to her he felt so <em>very</em> far away without the fullest physical expression of their affections and she longed to take him into her body fiercely. The thought was followed by his movement as he pulled again at her legs and Lily knew his intent when his horns took their place around her hips, his tongue dipping immediately into her yearning center. His moan swept through her and made her legs tense around his neck, heels digging into his back as his jaw stretched to enclose her inner lips and the nerves at their apex in his mouth, tongue still working itself in an out of her. </p><p>Lily uttered a broken moan, his upper lip sending shocks through her spine and the talented muscle inside of her curling to reach that exquisite pressure point which was only his to find and tend to. She could not keep her hips still but he quieted her restless twitching with the firm grip of his fingers and licked at her persistently, searching for the rush of sweet nectar that he knew his attentions would reward him with. </p><p>Her legs shook as he curled his tongue more insistently, pressing upwards hard and flicking it back towards himself, pulling and sucking at her furiously while her moans grew louder over the wet noises of his mouth. Lily's back arched from the mattress but he held her steady when her rapture swelled to meet her, building until she was heavy and taught with it, senseless and clumsily pushing herself off of the bed towards him.</p><p>His hands slipped beneath her lower back while her hips pressed up to his face and she gripped at his horns desperately, clinging as another flick of his tongue and the slide of his lips brought the swell crashing against her and then against <em>him</em> with a forceful gush. Lily let out a long, stuttered shriek, utterly consumed by the pressure of his tongue as her insides squeezed and pulsed around it and his chin and chest were bathed in her ecstasy.</p><p>Twitching still, breath heavy, Lily looked down at him, mouth sealed against her flesh as he watched her. His tongue was softer now but still attentive, swirling languidly around her swollen lips and dipping back inside of her to prompt a few quiet whimpers. Finally he sighed deeply through his nose, raising his head with one last slow lick.</p><p>“No blood,” he informed her simply. Lily sighed also, reaching down to caress his brow, tracing the ridges lightly. They stared at each other a while longer in quiet understanding, some of the clinging anxieties easing in this moment of closeness. One of his hands reached for hers and their fingers twined, palm to palm, the difference in their sizes stark. </p><p>Lily could have fallen to sleep then, comforted and warm, yet he was still tense with need and she could not leave him unfulfilled. With love weakened limbs she dragged herself up and then pushed at his shoulder until he rolled to his back, hand coming to rest on her behind as she bent over him and took him into her mouth without delay.</p><p>He moaned sharply as she relaxed her jaw and sank down as far as she could, opening her throat, sucking at him when she pulled up, using both hands to stroke him. She felt grateful to take him into her body in this manner as she let the wetness of her mouth run over him, let it slick her palms and create lewd sounds as she squeezed and licked up his throbbing length. The hand not holding her petite, round backside, now stuck into the air as she leant further, ran into her hair and gathered a handful in a tight grip. He followed her movements rather than directing them but Lily could feel the force that he withheld, the desire to hold her and pump his hips up violently in lieu of the ability to drive himself into her sex. The thought made her moan around him and wish that <em>gentle</em> was not so necessary in that moment. </p><p>The hand behind her moved between her legs, cupping and rubbing at her sensitive flesh while she continued to stroke him and take him as deeply as she was able. She swirled her tongue around his tip while the pads of his fingers made small circles that caused her to grow dizzy and he kept them up until she was on the edge again before he slowed. Lily paused with him in her mouth, whimpering and shuddering, back arched to expose herself more fully to his touch.</p><p>She gathered herself and continued to work at him, sucking and flicking her tongue at the ridge under his head, tightening her grip on every upward pull of her hands. When his entire body began to grow rigid he started his small circles again and she only faltered in her rhythm a bit, so softly he made them against her. Lily squeezed him more firmly and moved quickly, evenly, giving him as much suction as she could manage until he seized and thrust up towards her and she pressed herself down, let him hold her there and spray her throat as she swallowed around him. She did her best to continue as his touch behind her grew firmer and he made short, harsh strokes, but the seal of her swollen lips broke when she cried out and his warmth spilled from her mouth while she came apart yet again at the command of his fingers.</p><p>Lily fell against his heaving abdomen, hazy with the joy of their exchange. The hand in her hair loosened and his claws began scraping at her scalp in the most <em>delightful</em> way which sent shivers all through her and made her feel even higher, already tingling and euphoric. He was still stiff and she wanted to give him more, lifting a hand to tug at him weakly without raising her head.</p><p>He chuckled softly and reached down to slide his hands around her ribs and pull her up to his chest, settling her comfortably atop him. She went limp and allowed her breath to slow, enjoying the wet slip of their skin and the thump of his heartbeat below her temple while his claws found her scalp again, those on his other hand now trailing along her spine. Gooseflesh rose all over her body and she let out a soft, content moan, sated and happy though his hardness nestling into the seam of her thighs was a temptation that made her bite her lip and wriggle just a bit in an effort of resistance, still achingly empty and waiting for him to fill her.</p><p>She turned her face towards him and took his flesh between her teeth, sinking them into the skin surrounding his nipple and holding. He grunted and chuckled again when she did not let go, her tongue laving across it softly while she bit at him hard, tasting herself in the wetness there. It only caused him to harden further under her, his face shifting from lustful humor to a more intent sensuality and then finally to something else altogether, something that made her feel beautiful and precious and endlessly adored. Her lips followed once she let go, soothing the slight indent which quickly faded.</p><p><em>“Thirsty,”</em> Lily mumbled against him. He sat and brought her with him and Lily reached for her chalice, taking greedy swallows and draining it. Her lord was ready with the carafe to refill her drink, sitting back with his arms wrapped tightly around her once she was settled against his chest with her full cup. Even her hunger was better satisfied by this little punch she'd mixed, sweet and intoxicating. “How do you juice the blueberries?” She asked distractedly, feeling more drunk on him than the wine. “Blueberries aren't juicy.”</p><p>“Hmm?” He hummed at her, though she knew he'd heard.</p><p>“The blueberry juice,” she repeated anyway, picking up the little blanket which lay forgotten and rumpled on the bed and setting it neatly on her lap, carefully keeping it dry, “how do you make it?”</p><p>“Like this,” he responded simply, waving a hand at the nearly empty carafe and filling it. Lily giggled.</p><p>“Won’t you tell your secrets to me?” </p><p>“And what charming mystique shall be left to me if I do? Must you deprive me of all of my tactics for holding your interest?” He posed, but she only kissed his jaw softly and stared up at him, holding his eyes until he gave in. Such methods of persuasion had yet to fail her. He sighed dramatically, finally giving a grunt in concession before he answered. “Conjured from existing materials, much like this,” he said, tapping the gleaming obsidian of her ring, constructed by him. “I squeeze the blueberries, after a fashion. By unmaking and remaking them. As a liquid.”</p><p><em>“Magical juice,”</em> Lily crooned happily, gulping down more of it. A small flutter in her belly gave her a start and she almost spilled, hand flying down to cover the spot where she’d felt it. </p><p>“What?” He asked, immediately concerned. He took her cup from her and set it aside and she put her other hand next to the first, barely able to feel the tiny twist of movement with her fingers as it happened again, like the smallest of bubbles tickling her insides. Lily gasped and grabbed his hand, pressing it to her belly firmly and shushing him. She paused there, holding them both still as she waited for another flutter. After a minute she whined a little in disappointment but could not help grinning anyhow, hardly able to speak for her excitement. </p><p>“I think the baby moved,” she whispered, looking at him with wonder.</p><p>He was quiet, staring at his hand on her. They spent a few peaceful moments in silent anticipation as she nuzzled into his neck and rubbed her lips against his clavicle before the flutter came again, the quickest little roll beneath his palm. Lily let out a small, joyful noise when his breath caught, pulling his head down for a kiss.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Smut! Huzzah!</p><p>A note on the development of Lily's pregnancy, so that we're all on the same page in case I haven't quite illustrated effectively: I'd say she's just passed into what would be her second trimester were we on a nine month schedule. </p><p>A note on the author's current dilemma: tagging. I'm bad at it. I feel like I should have more tags, but I don't know what to tag. It seems like if I do some then I should do everything that's on the same... level? I don't know. See how confused I am? Help me? Does anything stick out in this story as tag-worthy? Appreciate any thoughts ya might have.</p><p>A few notes on side pieces/future projects:<br/>1. The second chapter of Desiderium shoooooould be out... this... weekend? Please don't hold me to that, I'm probably lying to you but I really, really want it to be true so I'm putting it into the universe.</p><p>2. I just want to make it clear now that any future stories will *always* have the D/L relationship at their core. This will never turn into a "now it's just an original story about OCs because the plot is centered on the adult child(ren) of the ship that I had interest in" series. Sometimes in the past I've followed fanfiction that I feared this thing would happen to. If you are like me, fear not. Just FYI.</p><p>3. NEW AU IDEA. Damn me and my endless fixations. So I'm already planning a how-the-film-should've-ended AU one-shot, but now I think I have another that'll end up added as a second chapter: a how-it-should've-gone from Darkness's perspective. Apparently now I need to do this. My brain won't let me stop.</p><p>A last note, on drinking alcoholic beverages during pregnancy, even magical ones: Don’t drink when pregnant unless pregnant with immortal hellspawn, mkay? Mkay.</p><p>Xx</p>
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<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Art and an Update</h2></a>
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    <p><br/> </p><p>Hello, friends!</p><p> </p><p>I'm alive! I doodled this little diddle while trying to catch my inspiration again. Going back to work hit me even harder than I expected and sapped all of my energy and I need long, uninterrupted blocks of time to get into a flow or I really, really can't write for anything, then you know how life fills your weekends with stupid things like housecleaning and taxes and appointments and what. I promise that I'm doing my best to get👏back👏on👏it👏!</p><p>My schedule has changed dramatically. I picked up a second job with flexible hours and completely turned shit upside down on the first, left one facility altogether. (I'm essentially an independent contractor, thank the Dark Lord that I sold my soul for beauty and talent)</p><p> </p><p>What that means for you:</p><p>Maybe that your author can get her steam back and keep this loco locomotive a' locomotin'. I've been drawing pictures in the meantime but this is the only one I can show you right now. One or more of the others may or may not be of someone you haven't met yet, maybe or maybe not because they are still a fetus in early gestation. (!!!)</p><p>While I attempt to get back on track, side pieces might pop up. I tend to need to follow the inspiration wherever it wants to take me, so previously mentioned AUs or other unexpected nonsense may come out before the next chapters of works in progress. I can't tell you in advance, which is a symptom of my process.</p><p> </p><p>Also, I do believe that though Lily and Darkness are naked, we are witnessing naked cuddle time rather than further shenanigans. Feel free to interpret that differently though, these two do always be fuckin'. This image isn't really representative of any particular scene, either. Like I said, these two just always be fuckin'. And having naked cuddle time.</p><p>Hopefully you'll get more than this soon, but I do hope that in absence of a true update this was at least a tasty tidbit! When a new chapter is posted I'll move the image to the first page or something. (*I also definitely edited and reposted it after staring hard at it and realizing that Lily's shading was all kinds of incorrect [or just slightly, hard to tell in this brain]. My creative obsession is not limited to writing, obvi.)</p><p> </p><p>Love you all!</p><p>MahnaMahna</p><p>(Do doo d' do do)</p><p>Xx</p>
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<a name="section0029"><h2>29. A Witch and Her Pig</h2></a>
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            <p>Just a picture.</p>
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    <p>Guess who?!</p><p> </p><p>And I'm still working on it, damn it! Just giving ya what I got. I know you might <em>think</em> that my doodles are delaying your chapters, but the opposite is true.</p><p>Besides, if I can figure out an image hosting site that is easy for me and also will accept adult images you might get porn. Obviously I have quite a bit of explicit imagery of Darkness and Lily in my head trying to get out in one way or another.</p><p> </p><p>...Do you <em>want </em>porn? Is that even a question worth asking? You always want porn, don't you?</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p>
  
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<a name="section0030"><h2>30. More Art Can't Stop</h2></a>
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    <p>This one was lots of fun, and by lots of fun I mean that trying to get Lily's face right almost made me cry. D's muscular structure is also legitimately baffling, just throwing that out.</p><p>On another note, no one voted for porn so I guess we're just sticking to dirty stories instead of explicit images. I'm surprised at you all, honestly, but whatevs. Change your mind at will. Drawing naked bodies is my fav, not gonna lie.</p><p> </p><p>Until later. :)</p><p>Xx</p>
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<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Already Had the Naked Version Lookit That</h2></a>
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    <p>Mhm. Mhm. Mhm.</p><p>So this image was drawn in layers, and the clothes were a <em>layer. </em>Obviously Lily was naked under her lace and obviously Darkness wasn't too covered. But, um. Did I draw a dick? Yeah I did. MHM.</p><p>He's uncircumcised because why the fuck would he be? I have to admit that this is actually the first time I considered that. It was not, however, the first time I considered whether or not he had a bull penis. Because duh, right? Right??</p><p>This is tame, of course. No shenanigans taking place, just general nudity, so it's within deviantart's guidelines. We'll see how things progress from here. (Insert cackle.)</p><p>Side note, do you have any idea how many naked pictures of Mia Sara I have on my phone? The answer is a lot. I need references, damn it! She has (had? It's been more than thirty years and I don't know her life) the tiniest, perkiest little titties on the earf. So adorbs.</p><p>Am I drunk? Am I drunk posting? No, YOU'RE drunk posting!</p><p>Nekkid.</p><p>
  
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